Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed over to my Men's Network group meeting and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting was wonderful and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a jar of pizza sauce and after paying for that,I headed over to a local supermarket the minute that I got back into town.After paying for the items that I purchased,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my home suit and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had myself some lunch before setting up a stereo system that I have been meaning to set up for a long time.After that was done,I tested it out and it works beautifully for me to enjoy forever.I simply relaxed and listened to some music for a while and a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,the road will still be rocky for a while as a result of my mom passing away two weeks ago.It is going to be quite a while for me to adjust to her absence from my life.I actually lived with her in the same house until the day that she died.I am now here all alone in the house and I am hoping that soon,all the legal business will be over and this house will be mine to live in until the day that I die.I am also still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I still go to therapy and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.When that happens,I simply turn to God in prayer and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of having both God and Christ handle everything as they provide power beyond what any human therapy can give.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do for me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This urge was overwhelming and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.As usual,I started to sit up in bed and while I was sitting up,the erection softened and after it was fully dead,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still staying on guard and being watchful.The temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it makes itself to be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always on guard and being watchful as that temptation can rear it's ugly head whenever possible.At times,I feel like throwing in the towel and surrendering to the desires that I have,but I willfully refuse to do that as that is what Satan wants me to do.Whenever I feel like doing that,I still turn to God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle is trying to get the better of me.I simply throw any temptations on God in the name of Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It is simply a matter of throwing everything on God in the name of Jesus Christ,his son,and having that temptation reduced to nothing.If I do ever give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,I feel better as God has forgiven and forgotten my sins.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and for helping me get through any form of temptation.Thanks again.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,though still rocky,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had some things planned.
I had to go to another local organization to help me handle some legal stuff concerning the house that I am still currently living in and see if they could help me locate a good lawyer for that.I made an appointment with them and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local kitchen to have lunch and after eating the lunch,I headed straight home
When I got home,I relaxed and listened to some music while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal nor struggle with.I never how my emotions nor mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable or impossible to deal with.I simply talk about the issues and the matter of my mental illness struggles with both God and Christ and they help sustain me.It is simply a matter of being sincere in my heart and simply asking them to help get me through all the emotional roller coaster rides and all the noises and things that only I can hear and always looking over my shoulder to see what is there,only to find nothing.Still,I am going to continue relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this happens and continue to ask them to help sustain me in this.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated an erection away.After the episode,I really felt bad for doing that and I asked God to forgive me for doing that in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better.The roots for the fall is simply still feeling the mixed emotions of everything that has been happening.From my mother getting sick,her passing away and all the emotions that have been reeling through me as a result of that and yes,there was a tad lusting involved as well.Though I do believe that I was forgiven and I can move on,this make me more determined to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It did this morning and it was an ugly fall at that.I also have to ask God to give me the strength to really resist these urges and also to ask him to help sustain me.I also have to learn not to let any emotions get the better of me so it doesn't lead to even more falls.I always feel bad whenever I fall,but though I do,I do still believe that I am forgiven when I ask to be forgiven.I am also asking for prayers and support while I am still going through a difficult time in my life as I am working to get over these emotional issues that have been plaguing me as of late.I will continue praying to God in the name of Jesus Christ in the meantime,but I stll ask for prayers by those who follow my blog and who read the posts that I write on this blog.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and Thanks also to God and Christ for all of their help.
Tomorrow,I have a men's meeting that I must attend.As for the rest of the weekend,it will be church as usual,but I still haven't made any other plans other than that.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still ongoing.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first had a spirituality group that I needed to attend.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there early as I had an appointment to talk with someone at the agency where the group was being held before the meeting was to start.
After meeting with that person at the agency,where he helped me partially fill out an aid form,I attended the group meeting.
The group meeting was wonderful.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed over to the local hospital to pick up an extra prescription refill and I also did some shopping at a nearby Dollar Tree store.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped the stuff off and I headed out again.I went to pay a visit to a friend to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery is still ongoing,despite a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still continuing my therapy and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,I feel a tad better as they help sustain me.It is simply a matter of putting the matter in God's hands and after that,letting him and his son Jesus Christ take the lead.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was yet another overwhelming temptation.I had to really use all the strength that I had to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up for a while and stayed sitting up for only a few minutes and when the erection died down,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It comes in many different forms,but they are all terrible.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and at times,I feel like surrendering to them,but I refuse to do that,as that is what Satan wants and I am not giving him that satisfaction.I simply continue to take the matter of my struggles to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and have them lead the way.I simply throw any temptations on God and ask him in his son Christ's name to get me through the temptation by giving me even more strength to resist and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.But if it should ever happen that I give into any type of temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning by giving into the temptation and after that,I feel better knowing that I am forgiven and the sin is forgotten by God.It truly shows that I am now alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I am heading for a local office to help out with some legal problems.As for the rest of the day,I have not made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,though still a little rocky,my road to recovery soldiers on.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money for myself.After that,I headed back home to register the money at the Where's George site and after that was done,I headed out to the post office to have a money order made and sent out and after that was finished,I headed over to the local Sears to make a payment on my credit card.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery soldiers on,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.As I have said before and I will say again,I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is always unpredictable as I can never anticipate what or how my mood is going to be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a little bit better.It shows me that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.Since it has been working for me,so far,I sat up for a while and after a few minutes,the erection fully softened and I went to back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,and they are not very easy to escape,I am now always on guard as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might be in,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always fighting these unnatural desires that I have and the fight gets even more difficult with every resistance to the temptations to act out on them.It is never an easy thing to fight these temptations as they getting stronger the more that I resist the temptations to act out on them.Still,I continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations seem to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.When that happens and the temptation is really strong,I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,my sin is forgotten by God as I know that I have been forgiven.It is simply a matter of talking to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,forgiveness is provided and I can move on with the rest of the day.This shows me that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,it's lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,while still rocky,continues moving.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and waited to see my father off before I showered.I am now all alone in the house and right now,I am feeling pretty confident that I can make it on my own.I am going to be living by myself and I am looking forward to the challenge of being on my own.
I showered after my father left for his home and after showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to a friend's house to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Radio Shack store to compare prices for stereo connector wires.After looking around,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my recovery continues moving,despite a rocky road,I am still dealing and struggling with,on a daily basis,the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.My mood is always unpredictable as I never know how I will be feeling.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking making my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.All I do is talk about my struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I feel a tad better.I still struggle,but with God and his son Christ Jesus leading the way,they help sustain me and I feel a little bit better knowing that I am not alone in my struggles.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a very overwhelming urge.I tossed and turned,but the erection wasn't softening.I finally sat up for a few minutes and the erection softened.I laid down and went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it makes itself,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.At times,the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can be strong and overwhelming.The urge to give into the temptation is usually as strong as the temptation is.Each and every time I resist,the temptation always comes back stronger than the last one and the urge to give in even stronger.When that happens,I take my struggles to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ in prayer and I feel better.It is simply a matter of taking the temptation and throwing it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and the temptation is reduced to nil.I feel better once I have done that and I can move on with the day.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,I feel better knowing that I am forgiven and that God has forgotten about my sin and has forgiven it and has also forgotten it.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do in my struggles with SSA.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though it will be rocky for a while,is continuing to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things to do.When the afternoon hit,I headed over to my weekly building and improving self esteem group and I was looking forward to that with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there expecting to get quite a bit out of it.
The meeting went well.After it was all over,I was hoping to meet with someone in their office at the group site to have an aid application filled out,nut the person wasn't in as he was sick.I headed for home a little disappointed.I will have to call tomorrow to see if he is in so I can get it filled out.
On the way home,I stopped in to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I never know if my mood will be up or down.It varies day to day and at times,from minute to minute.I can never predict ahead of time how my mood will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the BPD struggle even more difficult for me.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing things,sounds or voices that nobody else hears or even knows about.I am still going to continue my therapy sessions and I will continue taking my medication as directed.I am also still going to continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help sustain me.It is simply a matter of sharing my struggles with God and after that,feeling only a tad batter as a result.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that feels good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This was another very overwhelming temptation.I really had the urge to grab my genitals and masturbate the erection away as it was,again,a very overwhelming one.I simply sat up in bed and after about a couple of minutes,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to always be on guard and be watchful as I never know when the temptation will hit.I know that being tempted is not a sin,but giving into temptation is a sin.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and the battle to fight and resist is a very difficult one.It is just that I refuse to surrender to these unnatural desires that I have,even though resistance to the temptation to act out on them is a very difficult one.When it gets to be getting too extreme,I am still going too continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the temptation to act out in any way comes around.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.The best thing about this is that God is there to help anyone who is tempted to sin and he is there to help with the removal of any sort of temptation.It is wonderful that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though it will be rocky for a while,is still ongoing.I have a wonderful and very eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed over to the church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the service were equally wonderful.It was also a special day for me because I am now officially a member of the church and will be able to participate in many of the things that the church members do.I am looking forward to next week as I am now a reinstated member of the church as a whole.It was a very happy day for me.After some wonderful fellowship with the members and getting their congratulations for me now being a member officially,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit,which is a sweat suit.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I had a light lunch.After lunch,I turned on the TV and watched some classic TV reruns.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,though I have said it several other times,but I really mean it when I say this;For me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful for me.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
My father also came back today from his weekend trip.He will be heading back to North Carolina early Tuesday morning.
Though my road to recovery in still ongoing,despite a rocky road that I am on as a result of my mom's passing,I am still dealing and struggling,on a daily basis,with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is just the way it goes with having this terrible condition.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still attend therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take it to both God and Christ and they help in sustaining me.After telling them about my struggle,I feel a tad better and I can move on.I still do what my therapists tell me to do,but both God and Christ give power beyond what any human therapy can give.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in getting me through it.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation late last night when I masturbated a throbbing erection away and it was all emotional.I just grabbed myself and I gave in.I really felt miserable after that and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sin and after that,I feel better.I am forgiven and I can now forget the sin.This also shows me that I will have to have the strength and the courage to ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me get through these trying and emotional times.It is a very difficult time for me right now as a result of my mom passing away and I really need the strength and the courage to ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations.I am also asking for prayers and support from those who regularly read my blog and please leave an encouraging comment or two for me so I can carry on and try to be strong to fight and resist any sort of temptations.I would really appreciate that.I will still do my part,but I do need the help,support,encouragement and prayers of those who read and follow my blog.Thanks in advance to everyone for everything that they offer.
Tomorrow,I have a building and improving self esteem group that I am looking forward to attending.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ