Tonight,my road to recovery,while still rocky,continues moving.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and waited to see my father off before I showered.I am now all alone in the house and right now,I am feeling pretty confident that I can make it on my own.I am going to be living by myself and I am looking forward to the challenge of being on my own.
I showered after my father left for his home and after showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to a friend's house to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Radio Shack store to compare prices for stereo connector wires.After looking around,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my recovery continues moving,despite a rocky road,I am still dealing and struggling with,on a daily basis,the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.My mood is always unpredictable as I never know how I will be feeling.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking making my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.All I do is talk about my struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I feel a tad better.I still struggle,but with God and his son Christ Jesus leading the way,they help sustain me and I feel a little bit better knowing that I am not alone in my struggles.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a very overwhelming urge.I tossed and turned,but the erection wasn't softening.I finally sat up for a few minutes and the erection softened.I laid down and went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it makes itself,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.At times,the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can be strong and overwhelming.The urge to give into the temptation is usually as strong as the temptation is.Each and every time I resist,the temptation always comes back stronger than the last one and the urge to give in even stronger.When that happens,I take my struggles to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ in prayer and I feel better.It is simply a matter of taking the temptation and throwing it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and the temptation is reduced to nil.I feel better once I have done that and I can move on with the day.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,I feel better knowing that I am forgiven and that God has forgotten about my sin and has forgiven it and has also forgotten it.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do in my struggles with SSA.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ