Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day,although I couldn't really do too much as a result of the big snow storm that we had yesterday.
Since I couldn't go anywhere as a result of my car being out of commission as a result of me having a compact spare on the rear passenger side,I simply went out to do some snow shoveling and it took me quite a while to get the shoveling done.After that was done,I went back into the house to watch a little TV and relax for a while.
I also had to make a phone call with someone that I worship with in church to give me a ride to church tomorrow.He said that he will pick me up tomorrow.I am glad that I now have a ride to go to church tomorrow.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I did manage to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never easy dealing and struggling with this type of psychiatric disability and the ups and downs of this ride can be very tiresome.While having emotional ups and downs are bad enough,I also have to deal with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is great that God and his son Christ Jesus help out and give power beyond what any human therapy can give.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I tossed to the opposite side that was laying down in bed and though it took a while,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted as usual to act out by fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though at times,a climax does happen when I do that.I kept up in prayer to God all day as these terrible temptations came at me from all sides and I asked God in the name of Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I always felt better after praying.I am simply trying to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ because I really want to heal from these unwanted temptations and also,from these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.I kept it up and I felt better every time.It shows me that God and his son Christ Jesus are there to help me whenever I need it and that they are there for me despite what many cynics and non-believers say.It also strengthens my faith and helps keep me going in this fight.While that is great,I am still asking that all of you who regularly follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this complex emotional stuff.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue on my healing journey from SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,now that I have my ride to church,I am planning on attending church and also,the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,as a result of the car problem,I just might stay home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, February 09, 2013
Friday, February 08, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I was actually hoping to get myself a replacement tire for my car's passenger side rear wheel,but today,the weather was snowy and COLD!I simply kept my travels close to home and drove much more carefully as a result of the roads really being covered with snow and you never know if there is a patch of ice underneath the snow covered roads.I simply went to a few local stores to pick up things that I needed and after I was done at those stores,I went straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I went back outside to shovel the sidewalk for the mail carrier and also leading up to the back porch.I also shoveled the back porch and after I was done shoveling,I went back inside the house and stayed home for the rest of the day.
I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day as I couldn't do everything that I wanted to get done accomplished as a result of the snow storm.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.If having to struggle with BPD isn't bad enough,I also have to struggle with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have,as that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I need to talk about it and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again visited by temptation to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and didn't go back to sleep until the erection softened.It took a while,but the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up.I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was lusting involved.I stopped myself before it went too far and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and after praying,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I kept up in prayer all day as the temptation to act out by fantasies,lusting and masturbating to those types of things were really coming at me.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges as they kept coming at me from all sides.After that fall this morning,I didn't want to fall again.I kept up praying all through the day and I never ceased praying.I always felt better after praying as I truly believed that God and Christ were there to help me when I asked them for help.I am always tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA and they can get ugly and very overwhelming.The urges can be very strong at times.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that type of temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home as I know what my needs are in that regard and those needs,which are emotional in nature,are not sexual and acting out sexually is never going to give me what I truly want and,most importantly,need.I also have to continue keeping in mind that we men are biologically hard-wired to be compatible with a female and that we men's bodies are not to be used for the sinful purpose of indulging in any sinful sexual activity,including,but not limited to,the sinful sexual activity between two members of the same gender.God,when he created us humans,never intended for two members of the same gender to indulge in any type of sexual activity with each other and as the Holy Bible says in it's own words,that this type of thing is forbidden by God.I have to continually keep these things in mind.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of these things.Please continue to keep up in prayer for me and also,don't be shy by just visiting my blog,but leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging comments help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.I am not saying that my neediness of having my emotional needs met are terrible.I am saying that the unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA are terrible.It is just that my blog does get visitors,but nobody ever leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue to keep up in prayer for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I was actually hoping to get myself a replacement tire for my car's passenger side rear wheel,but today,the weather was snowy and COLD!I simply kept my travels close to home and drove much more carefully as a result of the roads really being covered with snow and you never know if there is a patch of ice underneath the snow covered roads.I simply went to a few local stores to pick up things that I needed and after I was done at those stores,I went straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I went back outside to shovel the sidewalk for the mail carrier and also leading up to the back porch.I also shoveled the back porch and after I was done shoveling,I went back inside the house and stayed home for the rest of the day.
I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day as I couldn't do everything that I wanted to get done accomplished as a result of the snow storm.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.If having to struggle with BPD isn't bad enough,I also have to struggle with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have,as that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I need to talk about it and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again visited by temptation to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and didn't go back to sleep until the erection softened.It took a while,but the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up.I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was lusting involved.I stopped myself before it went too far and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and after praying,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I kept up in prayer all day as the temptation to act out by fantasies,lusting and masturbating to those types of things were really coming at me.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges as they kept coming at me from all sides.After that fall this morning,I didn't want to fall again.I kept up praying all through the day and I never ceased praying.I always felt better after praying as I truly believed that God and Christ were there to help me when I asked them for help.I am always tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA and they can get ugly and very overwhelming.The urges can be very strong at times.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that type of temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home as I know what my needs are in that regard and those needs,which are emotional in nature,are not sexual and acting out sexually is never going to give me what I truly want and,most importantly,need.I also have to continue keeping in mind that we men are biologically hard-wired to be compatible with a female and that we men's bodies are not to be used for the sinful purpose of indulging in any sinful sexual activity,including,but not limited to,the sinful sexual activity between two members of the same gender.God,when he created us humans,never intended for two members of the same gender to indulge in any type of sexual activity with each other and as the Holy Bible says in it's own words,that this type of thing is forbidden by God.I have to continually keep these things in mind.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of these things.Please continue to keep up in prayer for me and also,don't be shy by just visiting my blog,but leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging comments help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.I am not saying that my neediness of having my emotional needs met are terrible.I am saying that the unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA are terrible.It is just that my blog does get visitors,but nobody ever leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue to keep up in prayer for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, February 07, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a really up and down day today.
Today,I woke in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did most of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
My day started out very good,but went downhill later on.I first went to my usual spirituality group and that went well.I was hoping to leave and head for a local kitchen to have lunch,but that is when the day went downhill.My tire on the rear passenger side went flat and I had to seek another way home.I called my sister and she advised me to call my eldest nephew,but he wouldn't answer after I tried calling him six times.I tried my brother in-law,who called me back on my cell phone and he said that he had to head for work within an hour of talking with me.My other nephew was already working and my sister was at a local beauty salon and wouldn't be done for a while.I went to a nearby 7-Eleven to buy something to eat for lunch while waiting at the group site for anyone to help me.Fortunately,my niece called me and picked me up to take me home.I was grateful that she did that.
On the way home,I stopped at a friend's place of business to drop off some money that I owed him and I also picked up the turntable that I want to use with my stereo system at the same time.My niece dropped me off at home after that and I awaited a phone call from my niece's boyfriend as he was the only one who could help me.The only thing that I needed was to put the spare wheel on the car and to simply drive it home,which happened and I am glad to have the car home.
As a result of all that happened today,I had to fix a light dinner to eat as I really didn't have enough time to cook anything.I simply heated up a can of soup that I bought on the way home and had that for dinner.Overall,a really up and down day.I still managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very complicated thing that I am dealing with as far as having a psychiatric disability goes.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult and complicated.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle,which is really difficult in itself as it is,and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation this morning by masturbating and there was lusting involved in it as well.I really don't know why I have fallen for the second time this week.The only good thing is that the falls weren't consecutive as my last fall was on Tuesday.When this happened,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and begged him for mercy as I prayed to God and his son Christ Jesus for forgiveness.I did feel better as a result of that as I believed that I am truly forgiven for my sins.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and asked him for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I didn't want to fall short again today and I kept it up all day in prayer.I am still a work in progress as far as trying to stay strong to continue fighting and resisting and asking God for that strength to continue fighting and resisting all of these terrible temptations.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please leave something encouraging in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle against SSA and make me even more determined to continue my journey in overcoming this terrible SSA.I will also keep up in prayers myself and again,I ask that all of you who follow and read my blog to continue in prayer for me and leave something encouraging for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did most of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
My day started out very good,but went downhill later on.I first went to my usual spirituality group and that went well.I was hoping to leave and head for a local kitchen to have lunch,but that is when the day went downhill.My tire on the rear passenger side went flat and I had to seek another way home.I called my sister and she advised me to call my eldest nephew,but he wouldn't answer after I tried calling him six times.I tried my brother in-law,who called me back on my cell phone and he said that he had to head for work within an hour of talking with me.My other nephew was already working and my sister was at a local beauty salon and wouldn't be done for a while.I went to a nearby 7-Eleven to buy something to eat for lunch while waiting at the group site for anyone to help me.Fortunately,my niece called me and picked me up to take me home.I was grateful that she did that.
On the way home,I stopped at a friend's place of business to drop off some money that I owed him and I also picked up the turntable that I want to use with my stereo system at the same time.My niece dropped me off at home after that and I awaited a phone call from my niece's boyfriend as he was the only one who could help me.The only thing that I needed was to put the spare wheel on the car and to simply drive it home,which happened and I am glad to have the car home.
As a result of all that happened today,I had to fix a light dinner to eat as I really didn't have enough time to cook anything.I simply heated up a can of soup that I bought on the way home and had that for dinner.Overall,a really up and down day.I still managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very complicated thing that I am dealing with as far as having a psychiatric disability goes.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult and complicated.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle,which is really difficult in itself as it is,and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation this morning by masturbating and there was lusting involved in it as well.I really don't know why I have fallen for the second time this week.The only good thing is that the falls weren't consecutive as my last fall was on Tuesday.When this happened,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and begged him for mercy as I prayed to God and his son Christ Jesus for forgiveness.I did feel better as a result of that as I believed that I am truly forgiven for my sins.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and asked him for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I didn't want to fall short again today and I kept it up all day in prayer.I am still a work in progress as far as trying to stay strong to continue fighting and resisting and asking God for that strength to continue fighting and resisting all of these terrible temptations.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please leave something encouraging in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle against SSA and make me even more determined to continue my journey in overcoming this terrible SSA.I will also keep up in prayers myself and again,I ask that all of you who follow and read my blog to continue in prayer for me and leave something encouraging for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Tonight,my road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.At times,this emotional roller coaster ride can be pretty stressful and tiresome.The ups and downs of this ride can be very hard to deal with and at times,I feel rather tired of going through it.One day or minute/moment,I can be up and feeling good,bout the next day or minute/moment,I can be down and feeling not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ when I feel that this struggle is getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is terrific.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,but it didn't last long.I turned the opposite way that I was laying down in bed and the erection softened after a while and I went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out by fantasizing,lusting after other men and to also manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as these terrible temptations came at me.It is difficult struggling with SSA,but the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA makes the struggle even more difficult.I kept up praying and asking God for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I always felt better after doing so.I always believe and have faith that God is there to help and he will do it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and that he does give strength to those who ask for it.I kept it up all day as I do get tempted to act out throughout the day every day.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follow my blog and reads the posts.I am asking that you all continue in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave a word of encouragement for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and please don't be shy when visiting,but leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,lunch at a local kitchen and I am planning on visiting a friend to see how he is doing.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.At times,this emotional roller coaster ride can be pretty stressful and tiresome.The ups and downs of this ride can be very hard to deal with and at times,I feel rather tired of going through it.One day or minute/moment,I can be up and feeling good,bout the next day or minute/moment,I can be down and feeling not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ when I feel that this struggle is getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is terrific.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,but it didn't last long.I turned the opposite way that I was laying down in bed and the erection softened after a while and I went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out by fantasizing,lusting after other men and to also manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as these terrible temptations came at me.It is difficult struggling with SSA,but the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA makes the struggle even more difficult.I kept up praying and asking God for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I always felt better after doing so.I always believe and have faith that God is there to help and he will do it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and that he does give strength to those who ask for it.I kept it up all day as I do get tempted to act out throughout the day every day.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follow my blog and reads the posts.I am asking that you all continue in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave a word of encouragement for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and please don't be shy when visiting,but leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,lunch at a local kitchen and I am planning on visiting a friend to see how he is doing.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, February 05, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PVC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.After doing all of my personal morning stuff at home,I went over to my grand nieces' and grand nephew's school to pick them up and take them home.I also babysat them for a little over an hour and after that,I headed over to the local Sears to make a payment on my credit card bill and after that was done,I headed over to the post office to mail out an important payment and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the early morning hours by masturbating,and yes,there was lusting involved with this.I really felt miserable after this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that temptation and I did feel better after that.I was tempted throughout the day to act out by fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I was tempted to indulge in genital manipulation alongside being tempted to fantasize and lust and I kept up in prayer to God all day in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that kept coming at me.I kept it up and I always felt batter after praying and asking for strength to help me fight and resist all of these temptations.I always felt better after that and knew that God and his son Christ Jesus were there helping me.I am also again asking for prayers and for words of encouragement by everyone who follows my blog.Please continue in prayer for me and also,I would really appreciate an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PVC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.After doing all of my personal morning stuff at home,I went over to my grand nieces' and grand nephew's school to pick them up and take them home.I also babysat them for a little over an hour and after that,I headed over to the local Sears to make a payment on my credit card bill and after that was done,I headed over to the post office to mail out an important payment and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the early morning hours by masturbating,and yes,there was lusting involved with this.I really felt miserable after this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that temptation and I did feel better after that.I was tempted throughout the day to act out by fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I was tempted to indulge in genital manipulation alongside being tempted to fantasize and lust and I kept up in prayer to God all day in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that kept coming at me.I kept it up and I always felt batter after praying and asking for strength to help me fight and resist all of these temptations.I always felt better after that and knew that God and his son Christ Jesus were there helping me.I am also again asking for prayers and for words of encouragement by everyone who follows my blog.Please continue in prayer for me and also,I would really appreciate an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, February 04, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to go on as usual.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and i got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to drop off a job application at the city school district building and I headed back home to do some snow shoveling on the sidewalk leading to the mailbox and to the back porch and after that was done,I relaxed for a while.
I also had a scheduled meeting with the pastor of my church.I wanted to discuss with him about starting to have relationships with the other men in the congregation as well as how I can talk to them about my struggles with SSA.I understand that it is a tricky thing to talk about with other men,especially if they really don't know anything about this particular struggle and what leads anyone to have struggles of this nature.
The short meeting went great and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw a little money and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to go on as usual,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I have to put up with the emotional ups and downs of BPD,but what makes the struggle worse is that I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that means putting up with hallucinatory stuff that only I can hear and nobody else can.It's difficult enduring with the double whammy that I have as far as having a psychiatric disability goes.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone as far as this struggle goes and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and didn't lay back down until the erection had softened.When it did,though it took a while for the erection to soften,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purposes of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was a little bit of lusting involved.I stopped myself and I immediately asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in even more fantasy styled stuff and I kept up in prayer all day as they came around.I kept up asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me and I did feel better.I will have to keep on remembering to keep going to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations come at me from all sides.I can't let these unnatural desires that I have own me.I have to show these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.Please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this and also pray that I start having some healthy,authentic and real Christian friendships with other men because I really want to heal and overcome this terrible SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouragement help keep me going in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and i got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to drop off a job application at the city school district building and I headed back home to do some snow shoveling on the sidewalk leading to the mailbox and to the back porch and after that was done,I relaxed for a while.
I also had a scheduled meeting with the pastor of my church.I wanted to discuss with him about starting to have relationships with the other men in the congregation as well as how I can talk to them about my struggles with SSA.I understand that it is a tricky thing to talk about with other men,especially if they really don't know anything about this particular struggle and what leads anyone to have struggles of this nature.
The short meeting went great and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw a little money and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to go on as usual,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I have to put up with the emotional ups and downs of BPD,but what makes the struggle worse is that I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that means putting up with hallucinatory stuff that only I can hear and nobody else can.It's difficult enduring with the double whammy that I have as far as having a psychiatric disability goes.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone as far as this struggle goes and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and didn't lay back down until the erection had softened.When it did,though it took a while for the erection to soften,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purposes of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was a little bit of lusting involved.I stopped myself and I immediately asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in even more fantasy styled stuff and I kept up in prayer all day as they came around.I kept up asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me and I did feel better.I will have to keep on remembering to keep going to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations come at me from all sides.I can't let these unnatural desires that I have own me.I have to show these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.Please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this and also pray that I start having some healthy,authentic and real Christian friendships with other men because I really want to heal and overcome this terrible SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouragement help keep me going in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, February 03, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots for a bottle of windshield washer fluid and after paying for that,I headed over to a local Chinese restaurant for a little take home lunch.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I had my lunch and after I was finished,I did my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed for a while and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is very difficult having this type of thing as my emotions very from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and the power that both God and his son Christ gives goes beyond what any human therapy,including prescribed medication,can give.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I simply chose to sit up and attempt to get out of bed and while I was doing this,the erection softened and when it was fully soft,I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed to God,and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges and I felt better after praying.I kept it up as the urges kept coming at me from all sides and I felt better after praying.I felt stronger and I also felt God and his son Christ Jesus were both there for me giving me this strength and I simply moved on by doing something else.Though I have been doing that,I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask this because both your prayers and your positive encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight,gives me even more strength and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.My blog also gets plenty of visitors,but the visitors usually don't leave an encouraging word or two for me.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.It can be a helpful verse or account from the Holy Bible or simply telling me to continue in my journey to overcome SSA in many ways.I would really love it if anyone who visits would do that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continuous prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,I will be turning in another job application and I have an appointment to meet with the pastor of my church to discuss some stuff.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots for a bottle of windshield washer fluid and after paying for that,I headed over to a local Chinese restaurant for a little take home lunch.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I had my lunch and after I was finished,I did my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed for a while and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is very difficult having this type of thing as my emotions very from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and the power that both God and his son Christ gives goes beyond what any human therapy,including prescribed medication,can give.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I simply chose to sit up and attempt to get out of bed and while I was doing this,the erection softened and when it was fully soft,I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed to God,and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges and I felt better after praying.I kept it up as the urges kept coming at me from all sides and I felt better after praying.I felt stronger and I also felt God and his son Christ Jesus were both there for me giving me this strength and I simply moved on by doing something else.Though I have been doing that,I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask this because both your prayers and your positive encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight,gives me even more strength and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.My blog also gets plenty of visitors,but the visitors usually don't leave an encouraging word or two for me.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.It can be a helpful verse or account from the Holy Bible or simply telling me to continue in my journey to overcome SSA in many ways.I would really love it if anyone who visits would do that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continuous prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,I will be turning in another job application and I have an appointment to meet with the pastor of my church to discuss some stuff.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
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