Tonight,as a change of pace,I am reflecting on the loss of a friend and fellow graduating classmate who died a few days ago.His funeral was today and I want to reflect today on the loss.
I have known this person from elementary school on up.We met at an elementary school that I transferred to and that was close to home years ago.We met and became friends that instant.
We went through all the way to high school and we both graduated together in the very same class.Him and I used to run into each other out in the community and when we did,we talked about a lot of things.We would talk and usually lose track of time and we would part ways and hope to run into each other again.
Today,I decided to visit at the funeral home and pay my respects and say my last goodbye to him.I talked with a few of his relatives and other people that I didn't know before until now.I talked with them for a little over half an hour and after leaving,I made a couple of stops before heading straight home.
When I got home,I changed out of my dress clothes and into my home suit.I then decided to pop a DVD in the DVD player and watch it while relaxing.
I am still feeling the sadness of the loss and I know that forever,I will always be feeling his absence.It is sad that I will no longer run into him out in the community ever again.I am going to miss those long talks that we had where we lost track of time and had to prat when we realized how late it was.Those times were fun.I am going to miss all of these things and I will always be wishing that he was still with us day after day,month after month and year after year.I will never hear his voice again and I will never see him again.I bid him a very fond and memorable farewell.Rest in peace my dear friend and fellow graduating classmate.You will always be sadly missed each and every day.
Tomorrow,I have church as usual.I am going to be doing another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation tomorrow morning.I am hoping that my reading will go good and everybody in the congregation benefits from it.
As a result of the passing of one of my dear friends and graduating classmates,I am not going to discuss my BPD/Schizophrenia or my SSA struggles today.I will start over again in regards to those things tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply ran a few errands that I needed to run.I was out of the house for much of the day.The most important thing that I got done today was that I had my car inspected and with the exception of replacing a bulb where my license plate area was,my car passed with flying colors.After that was done,I did the aforementioned errands before heading straight home.
When I got home,I put some stuff that I bought away and I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and relax.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky raod to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative effects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt and open here.I again gave into temptation by masturbating.Yes,there was lusting and fantasizing of other men involved with this fall as well.After this,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me and I also begged for his mercy.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for these things.I did feel better and I moved on with the rest of the day.Fellow SSA strugglers who continually follow my blog and read my posts,I am again asking for prayerful and positive verbal support.I need both very desperately.I am sick of falling so much and I really want to heal from this terrible SSA.Please continue praying for me and please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.I really felt miserable after this current fall.Please pray for me and please leave me some positive words of encouragement.They both help keep me going.I need them to also keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave some encouraging words in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty so-so day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,I received some shocking news.A friend of mine who graduated with me died suddenly yesterday.He was still a young man and his death came as a surprise to me.It did affect my day somewhat.I still went on with what I had planned for the day.
I first stopped at a local supermarket to pay a bill.After that,I headed for my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful.After that,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to take part in a Holy Bible study that was at somebody else's place of residence,which was also wonderful.After that,I headed straight home to get ready to retire for the evening.Overall,a pretty so-so day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing with the symptoms of BPD and the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD.Today,the difficulty of dealing with this psychiatric double whammy got even more complicated with the death of my friend and fellow graduating classmate.My head and brain were really reeling.This coming Saturday is the funeral and I am thinking of going to it to pay my last respects to him.I am going to need some prayers to help get me through this.I just went through the one year anniversary of my mother's passing and now this happens.This death was a huge shock to me and I am hoping to get over the shock soon.I will still miss him and I will always feel and sense his absence.It will be a very difficult road ahead,but I know that I will get adjusted to the loss of a friend.Fellow blog followers,please pray for me and leave some encouraging words.I would really appreciate both of these things.Thanks very much in advance to all of you for all of your support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I actually gave into temptation late last night by masturbating.Yes,I did.There was also some lusting and fantasizing involved with this fall.Not only that,the effects of being alone living by myself also played a role in this current fall.Right after the fall,I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning.I asked for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I really felt terrible after this sin and I prayed hard and even asked for mercy because I really felt miserable for falling into sin by giving into this temptation.Fellow blog followers,please pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please pray for me and also,please leave me a few encouraging words in the comments section.I need both your prayerful and your positive verbal support as well very desperately.The support that you give,both prayerful and positive verbal,helps keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continues in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast.I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed quickly after that to proceed with the rest of the day.
Today,I had an appointment with my therapist and I was looking forward to that.I headed over there and I was on time.
The session with my therapist went well.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off some stuff that I had to drop off and I headed back out as I had a few errands to run.
I first started to collect more cans and bottles and was hoping to get a few more in a few other places,but when I saw the sky,it looked like it might storm with a huge rainy downpour any minute.I reversed course and headed for a local supermarket to buy a couple of things that I needed.After that,I stopped at a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and relaxed while watching it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on My Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me get through all the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me much calmer and level.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again temped to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out to stretch my legs and within a few minutes,my genitals were fully soft.I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to "near masturbate",and there were sexual images of men clouding my mind while doing that,but I managed to stop myself and ask my Heavenly Father to forgive my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.The SSA struggle is a very difficult one and I am learning that each and every day as the days pass by.The struggle gets even more difficult the more I keep resisting to act out in various ways,other than going out to seek another man for the purpose of acting out with him.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time right now and this struggle really intensifies when this is apparent.I am appealing to all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional time.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and tomorrow evening,I am hoping to attend another Holy Bible study at somebody else's house.I have nothing else planned in between.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much planned for today.I simply decided to turn in a whole bunch of bottles and cans that I put into garbage bags at a local supermarket.After that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart across the street to buy something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to a little bit more personal PC work and I simply relaxed for the rest of the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.If having the ups and downs of BPD weren't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I ask for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that made the erection start to soften.I didn't lay back down until my genitals were fully soft.When they were,I laid back down and dozed off within a few seconds.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I stayed busy by being out in the community and that helped.By staying out and staying busy,it wasn't that bad today.It kept my mind off of anything sexual with men and that was great.While I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking for prayers from all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts.I still need prayers from all of you.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination and my motivation to continue in overcoming and healing from this terrible SSA.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few small errands to run.I first stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few things.After that,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some personal hygiene products for myself.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart and picked up a gallon of milk.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk away in the fridge and put all my new personal hygiene products away.After that,I spent some time cleaning out my car of all the empty bottles and cans that accumulated in the back seat of my car.It took me a little over an hour,but I got it done.After that,I headed back in the house to wash my hands of all the work that I had done in cleaning up the back seat of my car and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the player and I watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work and laid down to read for a while.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult to handle.I throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to help me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that that do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I had to get up and use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and I headed for the bathroom,which made the erection soften.When I was finished,my genitals were back to full softness and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men clouded my mind.But today,since I again kept busy,it wasn't that bad.I stayed busy by being out in the community and simply doing what I had to do.I just stayed out in the community and simply did the necessary things that needed to get done.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue in prayer for me as I still going through a very difficult emotional time.I am also asking that y'all leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in all of the bottles and cans at a local supermarket,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After the service was over,we had a special potluck lunch in the church's fellowship hall.The food and the fellowship were wonderful.After helping out with the clean-up,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched another DVD and I did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday morning makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in keeping me sustained and much calmer.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed.I headed out to the bathroom as I had to use it.This made the erection start to soften,though it was a little slow in doing so.My genitals were fully soft after I was finished in the bathroom.I went back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.Today,it wasn't too big of a problem.After the wonderful day in church,my mind wasn't clouded too much by urges to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I simply kept my mind on other things.Though I did escape today unscathed,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me.I need your prayers every day as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that y'all please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need prayers and positive verbal encouragement.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need both your prayers and your words of positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ