Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast.I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed quickly after that to proceed with the rest of the day.
Today,I had an appointment with my therapist and I was looking forward to that.I headed over there and I was on time.
The session with my therapist went well.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off some stuff that I had to drop off and I headed back out as I had a few errands to run.
I first started to collect more cans and bottles and was hoping to get a few more in a few other places,but when I saw the sky,it looked like it might storm with a huge rainy downpour any minute.I reversed course and headed for a local supermarket to buy a couple of things that I needed.After that,I stopped at a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and relaxed while watching it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on My Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me get through all the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me much calmer and level.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again temped to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out to stretch my legs and within a few minutes,my genitals were fully soft.I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to "near masturbate",and there were sexual images of men clouding my mind while doing that,but I managed to stop myself and ask my Heavenly Father to forgive my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.The SSA struggle is a very difficult one and I am learning that each and every day as the days pass by.The struggle gets even more difficult the more I keep resisting to act out in various ways,other than going out to seek another man for the purpose of acting out with him.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time right now and this struggle really intensifies when this is apparent.I am appealing to all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional time.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and tomorrow evening,I am hoping to attend another Holy Bible study at somebody else's house.I have nothing else planned in between.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the ahead.FJ