Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and as a result of the Winter Weather Advisory in effect for the area that I am living in,I didn't leave the house at all,except to simply go out and shovel the walk for the mail people and I also cleaned my car off of the snow that was on it.I also turned the engine on to warm it up for a few minutes as I don't want it to stall on me tomorrow morning when I leave the house to go to church.After I was done,I went back in the house and I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.I also watched another one after that was over.After that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a few holiday themed DVD's.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I fell again by giving into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men clouded my mind while doing so.I stopped myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I really need to start buckling down and getting tough with myself.I can't keep falling constantly.I have to stop myself as I feel that I am falling back into habitual sin by falling so much.I need to start praying to my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these urges.I also still need prayers from my fellow blog followers.I also need positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement and please continue praying for me.I need all the support that I can get.Please show me that I am not alone.I feel alone when nobody leaves me any encouraging comments.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement and also,please continue praying for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and afterwards,I watched a few holiday themed DVD's while waiting for my caseworker to show up.After the meeting with my caseworker,I shoveled the sidewalk for the mail people and cleaned the snow off of my car.It was snowing pretty heavily today and I just hung out at home watching a DVD or two.After the shoveling and the cleaning,I watched a couple more DVD's.After that,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's and relaxed.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.The SSA struggle can be very emotionally draining at times and can take away some much needed emotional energy.Today,as a result of me being home due to the heavy snowfall,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.I stopped myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I admitted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin as well.I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my Heavenly Father wiped the slate clean.I still need to continue working on getting tough with myself.I am still a work in progress and the best thing is that my Heavenly Father will never give up on me,but I can't abuse that in any way,shape or form.I have to avoid falling into the trap of habitually sinning and asking my Heavenly Father to forgive me for that.I see that anyone can fall into that trap,but I really want to avoid falling into that particular trap.Fellow blog followers and readers,if anyone or all of you has any ideas and/or advice so I can avoid that,please share.I need prayers,advice and continuous positive verbal support.Please pray for me.Please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.Please leave me anything that I can use so I can avoid falling into that particular trap of habitually sinning and asking for forgiveness.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I am just going to stay home and watch a few more holiday themed DVD's while at home.I might also do some more cleaning up in my old upstairs room so I can start sleeping in it again.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed out to my Thursday morning spirituality group and I took my time getting there as a result of the weather conditions,which were blowing and drifting snow,but I made it there.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was finished,I headed to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money at the Where's George site and did my personal PC work.After that,I headed out again to a Best Buy in the next county to pay a bill and after doing a little shopping there,I headed straight home,though it took a little bit of extra time as there was also blowing and drifting snow in the area where the Best Buy was,but I made it home safely.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I headed over to my usual Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,which was also a very wonderful meeting.I headed straight home after the meeting.
When I got home,I decided to get ready for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with the psychiatric double whammy of BPD/Schizophrenia and my daily struggles with SSA.I was tempted,though minimally,today to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men.Today,since I was out in the community,it wasn't a very big problem.I stayed busy and that took my mind off of the SSA.I was out and about today and that took my mind off of the negativity of the lustful and fantasy styled thoughts of men.I just stayed busy with what I had to do and I got through and that was good.I had no major upsets and that made me feel a little bit better.Still,I need prayers and positive verbal encouragement from my fellow blog followers.Please continue praying for me and please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these things each and every day.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both of things.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also show that I am not alone in this as I feel alone when nobody leaves me an encouraging word or two.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of meeting with my caseworker,I have nothing planned.Since there is a possibility of a Winter storm coming,I might stay home and take it easy and watch a DVD or two or more.I also might clean up some more in my old upstairs room.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I actually woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
The real big thing for me today was that I had an appointment with my therapist today.I headed over to the local hospital for the session.
The session was wonderful.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple more things.After paying for these things,I dropped a prescription off at the local drug store.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I also got a phone call about a hopeful job interview opportunity.I returned the call by leaving a message on their voice-mail and after that,I also called the priest that I am currently having sessions with and left a message on his voice-mail so we can schedule our next session.After that,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a holiday themed DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I relaxed and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with the psychiatric double whammy of BPD/Schizophrenia and my daily SSA struggles.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also never know how my struggles with SSA will be.Day after day,it gets more and more difficult.At times,I wish that I didn't have these struggles.This morning,while still in bed trying to get up,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals while sexual images of men clouded my mind and that motivated the temptation.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I did feel better after that.For the rest of the day,since I had a few things on my agenda,I was out and that took my mind off of these things.For the rest of the day,nothing entered my mind to inhibit any temptations.I stayed busy just seeing my therapist and getting some more grocery shopping done.I am still asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately.They both help keep me going and also,they show that I am not alone in this particular struggle.When nobody leaves me anything encouraging,I feel that I am alone.Please don't make me feel alone by leaving me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and my evening study group,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today, I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after relaxing for a while as a result of a terribly pounding sinus headache,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first dropped another job application off at a nursing facility in another area of the county where I live and after that,I carefully headed for home as a result of some blowing and drifting snow that was happening at that particular moment.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few canned vegetables.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the canned vegetables that I bought away and proceeded to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop in a holiday themed DVD and I relaxed while watching it.After that,I got the garbage ready for tomorrow morning and I also put some recyclables in the recycling bins that I have.I put them out on the curb for the garbage collectors to pick up tomorrow.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I must say that the stuff that I struggle with gets even more difficult by the day.My struggles with the psychiatric double whammy of BPD/Schizophrenia,alongside my struggles with SSA,which are made more difficult by the psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with at the same time.It never gets any easier.I am still in therapy for the psychiatric double whammy that I have and I am still taking my medication as directed for it.Still,my SSA struggles are made more difficult by that.I hear voices telling me to manipulate my genitals constantly at at times,I do give into that.I really need to buckle down and get tough on myself.I really need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever this/these particular thing(s)start to come around.Today,since I was out in the community,I didn't have any real problems with that.I simply kept my mind on the important things that I was doing and that took my mind off of these negative things.Still,with the Winter season fast approaching where I am living,I need to really stay on guard as since there is really nothing much to do in my home area during this time of the year,temptation can rear it's ugly head when I least expect it.Right now,I need to buckle down and get tough on myself.I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask for strength to help me fight and resist these urges as they come around.I need to ask for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I really need to start making a habit of that.I am still working on that and I am hoping to start making that a habit.I am also still going to need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get from my fellow blog followers out there.Please continue praying for me and please continue to leave some positive verbal comments in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately.I really do need both of these things.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my appointment with my therapist in the early afternoon,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
Since we were until an advisory in my area,I simply went out to pick up a few things that I needed.I first stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed to a local Dollar General store to buy some windshield washer fluid.After paying for that and filling up my windshield washer reservoir with the fluid,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a holiday DVD in and I watched it.I watched a few holiday cartoons since we are now in the Christmas season.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing with the psychiatric double whammy that I have,which is BPD/Schizophrenia.While that struggle is difficult in itself,my most difficult struggle is my struggle with SSA.This morning,I gave into temptation again by manipulating my genitals and yes,sexual images of men clouded my mind while I did that and I wound up ejaculating.After cleaning myself from doing that,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I was really sorry for giving into that temptation.The struggle with SSA is a very difficult one indeed.I never know when temptations will start coming at me.I hate that I struggle with this and I wish that I didn't have to.I hate that I find members of my own gender sexually attractive and I hate everything connected with that.The thing is that anything connected with Homosexuality,including the sexual activity associated with it,is sinful.I understand that it isn't a sin to be tempted and that the Homosexual condition,which is emotional in itself,isn't sinful.It is a sin to act out on the unnatural desires that are connected with SSA and the temptations to act out can be very overwhelming.I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my life and I really need to get tough on myself and start buckling down on this problem.I need to show these unnatural desires that I have that I am stronger than they are,that I own them and they don't own me.It takes a lot of hard work,but I am willing to do that.I am not going to give up as my Heavenly Father never gives up on me.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,I would really appreciate some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately.Please pray for me and please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day.
Today,I overslept and the only things that I had time for was a quick shower and a quick 2 cups of coffee.I got dressed up real quickly and I headed for church.I got there a little late for the Holy Bible study class,but I still got a lot out of it.despite that I missed the video segment that was watched and it was still wonderful.
The worship service was also wonderful.After some terrific fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things and after paying for those things,I headed to the nearby Big Lots and picked up something there.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I had my quick breakfast late,but still had it as I couldn't eat it earlier.After that,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,my head was pounding as a result of a sinus headache that I had and I took something for it.I laid down for a little over an hour and that helped me get rid of the headache.I got up and managed to catch the video segment that I missed this morning online and now,my day is complete.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against the psychiatric double whammy that I have and the difficult SSA struggles that I have,which are made more difficult by my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia.This afternoon,while trying to get a little nap as a result of my headache,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals while sexual images of men clouded my mind.I did manage to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him and as always,I asked him for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I did feel better after doing so and I had my nap to get rid of my headache and was glad that I felt better later on.Still,I need to get tough on myself in regards to this thing.I need to get to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges that I get that are connected with SSA and the struggle that I have with it.These urges can and do get very overwhelming.I really need to buckle down and go to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever these overwhelming urges come at me.These temptations are terrible and I really need to let these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I need to work on keeping them under control.The thing is that with me,I live alone since my mother died last year and I am having it pretty bad as a result of me living alone.Again,I need to get tough on myself and buckle down by going to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever these terrible urges come at me.I will continue working on that,but I still need prayers by my fellow blog followers.I also need some positive verbal encouragement from my fellow blog followers.I need both of these things desperately.I need these things to help me get by.They both help in a lot of ways as both prayer and positive verbal encouragement do have a lot of power and they work wonders as both are very powerful weapons that help in more ways than one.You never know how far prayers and positive verbal encouragement can go.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with a Winter Weather Advisory going into effect starting at 9:00pm and lasting until 11:00am tomorrow,I am thinking of just staying home and taking it easy and maybe continuing some more work in my old room upstairs.If the weather improves,which I doubt,I will go out to turn in another job application.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ