Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to my Men's Network meeting.
The meeting was wonderful and I got a lot out of it.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a nearby Salvation Army thrift store and found some really nice things there.After that,I went to a nearby Dollar Tree store to check out and see if they had anything that I was looking for,but they didn't,and I went to the public library and did a little bit of computer work and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store and found exactly what I was looking for there.After paying for these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and while doing that,I listened to an online sermon.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with BPD and the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD.The emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD can be pretty tiresome and monotonous,but I am hanging in there and still alive.My moods and/or emotions can go from up and feeling good one day or one minute/moment and at times,down and feeling not so good the next day or minute/moment.If that wasn't bad enough,I also have hallucinations at times.At times,I hear footsteps that nobody else hears and at other times,hearing voices calling me and seeing that on both occasions that nobody is there.As I said,it can get pretty monotonous and tiresome at times and I wish that I didn't have to go through any of these things.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take it to my Heavenly Father whenever this struggle tries to wear me down and I ask him to help me endure in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help me in keeping me sustained and also,they keep me on a healthy and normal plain.It shows that I am not alone here and that is great.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night when I manipulated my genitalia until it ejaculated and yes,there was also lusting and fantasizing with other men involved with this as well.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better after doing so.I was also again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what softened my genitals and when they were fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Throughout the rest of the day,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in Homosexual/Gay themed lusting and fantasies and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of attaining near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I didn't want to fall and sin again like I did late last night.I did keep up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day and kept asking for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel a measure of strength as I did so.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me and also,I am again asking that all of you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I do need some words of encouragement to help keep me going in this fight and struggle alongside your prayers.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me when you visit.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do to help out and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church in the morning,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After having a light lunch,I went out to do a few important things that I needed to get done.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things and after that,I headed out to a gas station to get some gas in my tank and after that,I headed for a bargain outlet close-out store to pick up something that I really needed.After paying for that,I headed to the local K-Mart to pick up a few other things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still battling the symptoms and the consistent emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.I am always battling the symptoms of this,with my moods and/or emotions varying by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.Aside from the BPD struggle,I also have to struggle with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,which makes my BPD struggles even more difficult,as I also have to put up with hearing things,such as voices calling out to me or the sound of footsteps,and then turning around only to find that there is nobody or anything there.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I pray about it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I leave nothing out.I always feel a tad better after that as both of them help in sustaining me and also,make me feel more at ease.It also shows that I don't have to struggle with this alone.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and walk and that is what made the erection soften.After doing a little bit of walking,the erection was dead and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into yet another temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.There was some lusting after other men as sexual images of them did cloud my mind and it lead to me fantasizing about them.Fortunately,I managed to stop this and immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and as usual,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins and that they were forgotten by my Heavenly Father.I kept up in prayer all day as I was being tempted left and right.I didn't want to fall again and I also didn't want to act out with lusting and fantasies.I kept asking in prayer for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and I did feel much stronger after each prayer.Though I have been doing this,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me.I am still going through a rough and difficult emotional time and I need all the prayers that I can get.I also ask that you also please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave an encouraging comment or two for me in the comments section as I could also use some words of encouragement.Prayers and words of encouragement both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming and healing from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouraging words.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Men's Network group meeting,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.I overslept and didn't have the time to really get to doing my personal PC work,so I put it off until later.
The group meting went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after I was finished,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a while.
Later on,I went over to my niece's house for dinner,which saved me from cooking.After I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in keeping me sustained and also,they both help me in keeping me at a normal level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a tad better as I am still battling the issues connected with the double whammy that I have for a psychiatric disability.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.Since I had to use the bathroom,I got out of bed and started towards there.As I headed for there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into yet another later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Yes,sexual images of men clouded my mind while doing that and I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after them.Fortunately for me,I was able to stop myself before it went too far and asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation and I did feel better after that as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and to also manipulate my genitals to these sexual images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength to help me resist all of these temptations that kept coming at me from all sides and each and every temptation was stronger than the last.I kept asking my Heavenly Father for strength all day as I didn't want to fall as I am really and truly serious about wanting to be free from the trap of SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.It is just that lately these temptations have been coming at me from all sides and they keep getting stronger and stronger with each resistance.While I have been keeping up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and been keeping up day after day,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really could use some encouragement right now.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.Yes,they really do.Please keep up in prayer and when you visit my blog,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first dropped my laundry off at my niece's house and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in some bottles that I had and I also picked something up that I needed.After that,I headed over to the post office to get a money order to pay my car insurance and after that,I headed over to my insurance agent's office to pay the bill.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the bills that I got from the bottles at the Where's George site and after that,I relaxed for a bit to head over to my niece's house for dinner.I stayed over there for a while and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and watched a little bot of TV.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.If not having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they not only help in sustaining me,but also help to keep me on a steady plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I turned to the left side of the bed and when that didn't work,I sat up for a while and then proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to sleep.Throughout the rest of the day,I wasn't tempted to do anything in regards to acting out on SSA and that was good.I kept busy throughout the day doing what I had to do and nothing of any sorts came to my mind.Though I did escape today,I still have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and there are also other days as well.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA and also to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money to pay an important bill.After that,I headed back home to register the bills and after that,I paid the bill and I also returned to the bank to pay another bill.After that,I dropped some newspapers off at a few people's places and after that was done,I sent out another payment through the post office and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me at a steady level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I had to get up and use the bathroom and I headed for there and as I was doing that,the erection started to soften and was fully dead when I was finished.I went right back to sleep after I was finished.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into yet another later temptation when images of men clouded my mind and I gave into the temptation to lust and fantasize by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my sin was forgotten by my Heavenly Father.Since I was out for much of the day,I was tempted to do anything,such as lust and fantasize and that was very good.I went through the rest of the day without anything to worry about.Though I did get through the rest of this day,there is still tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My bog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I watched another MASH marathon on TVLand and after that was over,I did my personal PC work and after that,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I first went to the local Sears to pay a much overdue bill and after that,I headed over to a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some much needed groceries.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and relaxed while watching a little bit more TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is not only great,but makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and proceeded to go the bathroom as I had to use it and after I was finished,the erection fully softened and I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation to fantasize and lust after other men,and I did manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to the sexual images of men that clouded my mind.I stopped myself and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better and I also truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that my sin was forgotten.Throughout the rest of the day,I kept busy doing what I had to do so I wouldn't be tempted as much and it did work.I kept busy and the images didn't cloud my mind nor did I get the temptation to manipulate my genitals.While I did get through the rest of the day without a scratch,I am again asking that all of you continue praying for me and please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please leave me an encouraging word or two as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming and healing from SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Target to pick up a small bottle of juice for breakfast tomorrow.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of lounge pants.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I had lunch.After that,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply place this struggle in the hands of my heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a level plain.It does make me feel a tad better when they are taking the lead and getting me through the difficulties of this double whammy of a psychiatric disability that I have.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything they do to help me through all of these difficulties connected with the psychiatric double whammy that I have.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I had to get up and use the bathroom and so,I headed for there and as I was going there,the erection started to soften and was fully soft when I was finished.I went right back to sleep afterwards.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men,but this time,it wasn't as strong as it was the last two weeks up to my falling yesterday.I did pray to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations came at me and I asked for strength to fight and resist.I did feel better after praying and I did feel stronger after that.I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts here.I also need some encouraging words shared by all of you as well.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but comments of any kind are rare.Please pray for me and please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and for me to also continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA,Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Christ Jesus as well for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ