Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.I will be singing for my friends tonight at the bar.But the reason why I am feeling the way I am is because this week is the anniversary week of the death of George Harrison and I am always feeling sad and/or with mixed emotions during this week as well as next week,which will be the anniversary of the assassination of John Lennon.I am always feeling sad and/or with mixed emotions during these times of the year.I miss those two so much.It is sad that they are gone.While I have accepted the hard reality that they are no longer with us,I still find it hard to believe that they are gone.I feel their absence every day,especially when these anniversaries fall around this time.
I am feeling a little bit of happiness.A friend of mine was nominated for an award.I even called to congratulate him and wish him luck.I hope that he appreciates that.I am also hoping that he wins the award that he is nominated for.That would be neat.Yes it would.
Tonight,I will be singing at the bar.I hope that it goes as well as expected.I will be doing a George Harrison tribute tonight.If that goes good,I will feel a bit better.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for the best.
Well those are my ramblings.Thoughts are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check with mixed emotions.Today was a pretty decent work day and that went as well as expected.I did my job and doing that satisfies me.But I am feeling a bit at edge tonight mainly due to the weather outside.The weather had rained all day and there were a lot of high winds.There is a HIGH WIND WARNING in effect for my area until 5:00am tomorrow morning.I am hoping that nothing happens to my jeep as I am sleeping tonight.With high winds,anything can happen.But I am hoping that nothing happens.I can still hear the winds outside as I am typing this.Boy,are they going fast and furious.I am staying home tonight as a precaution because I do not have anywhere to go or anything to do.In weather like this,there is never anything to do.So,I am staying home tonight.I'll just sit at home and possibly watch a movie.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres are playing the New York Rangers.I am hoping for a win tonight.They won in overtime Sunday night and another win tomnight would be totally sweet.Tomorrow night,I will be singing for my friends and I will be doing my annual tribute to George Harrison because this is the week of the anniversary of his death of cancer 5 years ago.Next week,it will be my annual tribute to John Lennnon.I am hoping that both nights go well.I rarely have an off night but I am always still hoping for it to go well.There is nothing wrong with hoping.
Well,that is all for now.Thoughts are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling a little bit at edge because I received some shocking news today that I was not anticipating.Something told me this morning that I would receive some shocking news today,but I really did not know what it would consist of.When I got to work this morning,someone showed me an obituary from a newspaper from a city in the next county and it was about the death of a person that I knew.It was someone that I used to see every day around where I worked and it was shocking.The person died of respiratory failure from her chronically bad asthma.It was pretty surprising because she was going out with the guy who unneedlessly criticized me for showing good manners at the table during lunch on Tuesday.I did give him my condolenses regarding her death and he said Thank You.It was a pretty sad day hearing about the recent death of her and it just was not the same after hearing about this.It looked like a promising day but soon turned to tragedy upon hearing about this.It was shocking to hear this.One minute the person is there.The next minute they are gone.I ask myself "WHY?!" sometimes.She died at the still too young age of 38.May she rest in peace.
That was what happened.If you woudl like to say a few words,please do so.Thanks.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling really good.Tonight was yet another swell night for me.I went to my support group and it was yet another wonderful meeting.It is great to be a part of a group of men where you can bare all and let yourself go in what you share without having to worry about being judged according to your struggles.I felt great.It was a wonderful night and I got a lot out of what I shared and just being a part of the group.I am again attending next Wednesday night and I am hoping again to get a lot more out of it like the other meetings.I feel greatful for hearing about this group and I am thankful to be a part of it.Yes I am.I have never felt this way in I don't know how long.
Tomorrow is yet another work day.I am hoping that the day goes by well enough and that everything works out.I will be working a full schedule tomorrow and I again hope that it all works out and that the work day goes hazard free.I am just taking life one day at a time and just keep hoping for the best.
That was my night.Thoughts are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good.It was a pretty decent day today despite a minor run in with somebody during the lunch period.I was trying to practice good manners today as I was reaching for my plate at the table that I was sitting it.While reaching for it,I simply said "Excuse Me" as I was reaching because I did not want to appear rude.But I got criticized for it and the person who criticized me not only had the nerve to call me ignorant but he even made an unfriendly reference to how it would be handled in the New York state prison.The other people at the table did not complain about this and just shook their heads at the criticism.I could not believe this.I actually said "Excuse Me" but it did me no good.I felt that if I reached over without saying that,I would see why he would complain.But I felt that by saying "Excuse Me" he really should not have.Oh well.I guess that you can't please everybody all of the time.I also guess that some people don't appreciate it when somebody tries to show manners.Again,Oh Well.
Tomorrow is a day that I take my vehicle in for an oil change.It should have been done a week ago but they were busy when it's due and I had to worry about what could happen if it wasn't done whe it's supposed to be done.But I will get it done tomorrow.Tomorrow night is the night of my support group.I hope that the meeting goes well.So far,it has been so good.But it never hurts to hope for things to go well.At least,that's how I feel about it.
That was my day.Thoughts are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling better.Today,I got a great dental report from the dentist on my teeth.The dentist said that my teeth looked very good.The dentist also congratulated me for doing a great job in taking care of my teeth.That really made my day.Yes it did.I got a good dental report and the day looked bright.It was sunny and it was not too cold.The good dental report really made the day seem like it was beautiful all around.Again,getting a good dental report really made the day for me.
My day off today was joyful.I ran a few errands for my mother today and I got to take it easy.Tomorrow is yet another work day and I am hoping that it goes well.I am also hoping that the entire work week goes well for me.Nothing negative has happened to me in the past few weeks and that is good.But still,it does not hurt to hope for good days because you never know what's going to happen.Wednesday night is my support group night and I am hoping that the meeting with them goes good.It has been going good with me since I have become a part of the group.I have not had any terrible dreams of being in rooms full of naked men wanting me to satisfy their selfish cravings.That is great.I have been sleeping well enough at nights now and that has been terrific.I can now sleep without having to worry about those terrible dreams as much.They still come back now and then but they are not a constant bother or pain to me like they used to be.
Well,I am again hoping that tomorrow goes well.I am also again hoping that the entire week goes well.Again,it never hurts to hope for good days or things even if nothing negative has happened.
That was my day.Thougts are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling a bit better then yesterday.I am not as much at edge as I was yesterday.But things were pretty good today.I had to run errands all day and that worked out liked it should.It was a nice day.It was so nice that I rolled down my windows and let my Eddie Money CD blare from my jeep.Awesome.Winter is almost here and it sure does not look like it.The sun was shining today and there was no cloud in the sky.Tomorrow,I have to go to the dentist and have my teeth checked out and cleaned.I am hoping for a good dental report.On Wednesday,I am going to the group again and I am hoping for a wonderful meeting.It will be wonderful to see all the guys there again.I look forward to that every Wednesday now.I am still overjoyed to have found this group.I am also still overjoyed that the friend that I have in Texas told me about it.I am now looking forward to every meeting.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres were victorious again.They defeated the New York Rangers in overtime tonight by a score of 3-2.They are playing the Rangers again on Friday night,this time at home.I hope for the Sabres to win again over the Rangers.It will be super for them to win in front of the hometown crowd.It was disappointing for them to lose to the Montreal Canadians on Friday night.A hometown win on Friday night over the Rangers would be totally THE BOMB.Yes it would.
The only really negative thing is that this is the anniversary of the deaths of Freddie Mercury of Queen and Eric Carr of KISS.They have both been dead for 15 years now and I am still missing them.They were members of two of my favorite groups.Again,I will always miss them both.
Tuesday is yet another work day for me.I am hoping that the working week goes good for me.There have not been any negatives happening as of late.But it never hurts to hope for things to go well.
That was my day and night.Comments are always welcomed.FJ