Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good,but quiet,day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't too much on my agenda for today.I only went to a couple of places where I had to do a couple of necessary things.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local bargain outlet store,but couldn't find what I was looking for.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,but quiet,day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or sometimes,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in the particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned repeatedly,but that only made the erection throb even more.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I went back to sleep when my genitals were fully soft.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to fantasize and lust after other men and I also gave into the subsequent manipulation of my genitals while doing that,but I did stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I did feel better as I knew that I was forgiven and my sin was forgotten by God.Throughout the day,I was tempted every time as the temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I was tempted to look at porn and also,to fantasize and lust after other men.Whenever these temptations come around,I also get tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I had to really pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I had to keep up in prayer to God in his son Christ Jesus' name all day and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.It is just that thoughts of impure and immoral sexual images of men keep creeping up into my mind and I really don't know how I can get them off of my mind.I don't want to think of anything sexual in regards to men,but lately,they have been coming into my mind and I just want them to go away and leave me alone.I was also tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I chose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation as I know that any sort of sexual activity with other men won't give me the fulfillment that I truly want,but mostly need.Sexual activity with other men and also,lusting and fantasizing with other men will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to distance myself from and disown.I hate that I have these feelings that are both unwanted and unnatural.I don't want to feel these feelings anymore,but I am still feeling them over and over day in and day out.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts here to please continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section of my blog.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me as I could use some encouragement.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and also,make me even more determined to continue to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things planned,with one big thing happening this morning that was very important.
I met with a counselor at a local job placement organization where we discussed program basics and filled out some paper work and he said that the minute that he gets some paper work that I had to fill out at home that I had to send in by today,he can start looking into some jobs for me.I am now officially a client as of now and after the meeting,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after eating,I headed for a gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed over to a local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the withdrawn bills at the Where's George site and after that was done,I headed back out to pay a couple of bills.
I paid the first bill at a local supermarket and after that was paid,I headed over to the post office to mail out the other bill.After that was done and as I was leaving the post office,I popped that paper work that I had to complete at home in the mail and I am hoping that it gets there by Monday.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After paying the co-pay on those,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to buy a bottle of mineral water.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I can be up and feeling good one day/minute/moment and down and not so good the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing things and/or other noises that nobody else can hear other than me.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,talk about it and I leave nothing out and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last very long.I simply sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and as I did this,the erection started to soften and I headed for the bathroom as I had to go.Once I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully softened and I went back to sleep.For the rest of the day,I didn't have any sexual thoughts of men nor any cravings to lust or fantasize.I had a pretty busy day and all the activity that I had to do today took my mind off of anything sexual.For today,nothing sexual with men came into my mind and that was good.Again,this was the result of keeping busy and just going along with the day.Though I did escape today,I have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and there will always be the days after that I have to also keep in mind.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up prayers for me and also,to please don't be and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome and heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things planned,with one big thing happening this morning that was very important.
I met with a counselor at a local job placement organization where we discussed program basics and filled out some paper work and he said that the minute that he gets some paper work that I had to fill out at home that I had to send in by today,he can start looking into some jobs for me.I am now officially a client as of now and after the meeting,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after eating,I headed for a gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed over to a local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the withdrawn bills at the Where's George site and after that was done,I headed back out to pay a couple of bills.
I paid the first bill at a local supermarket and after that was paid,I headed over to the post office to mail out the other bill.After that was done and as I was leaving the post office,I popped that paper work that I had to complete at home in the mail and I am hoping that it gets there by Monday.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After paying the co-pay on those,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to buy a bottle of mineral water.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I can be up and feeling good one day/minute/moment and down and not so good the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing things and/or other noises that nobody else can hear other than me.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,talk about it and I leave nothing out and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last very long.I simply sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and as I did this,the erection started to soften and I headed for the bathroom as I had to go.Once I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully softened and I went back to sleep.For the rest of the day,I didn't have any sexual thoughts of men nor any cravings to lust or fantasize.I had a pretty busy day and all the activity that I had to do today took my mind off of anything sexual.For today,nothing sexual with men came into my mind and that was good.Again,this was the result of keeping busy and just going along with the day.Though I did escape today,I have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and there will always be the days after that I have to also keep in mind.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up prayers for me and also,to please don't be and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome and heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I went over to a local kitchen and I was given a bag lunch,which I accepted and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put a few things away and sat down to enjoy my lunch.I also heated up a bowl of soup to have alongside the bag lunch that I was given.After that,I called my neighbor and I helped her with something that she wanted to get done,which took an hour and half to finish.After that was done,I went back into the house to relax and finish the rest of my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from enduring the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in keeping me sustained.I am never alone when it comes to my mental illness struggles and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that the do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I manipulated my genitals to fantasies and lusting of other men and I wound ejaculating while doing that.This really made me feel terrible and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven by God and that my sin was also forgotten by God.Throughout the day,I was still tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and I kept up in prayer the whole day as the temptations kept coming at me from all sides.Lately,images of men have been creeping into my mind and along with them,my mind has been preoccupied with images of myself performing particular sexual acts on them,mostly oral sex.I just want my mind to be cleared of these images and also,I want to think positive,healthy,wholesome and Christian thoughts of my fellow man and not impure and unwholesome sexual thoughts.I want to think of my fellow men as brothers only and not as possible sexual partners.These types of things are borne out of selfishness,greed and lust and I just don't want to think about them.Why these images and thoughts keep creeping up into my mind is something that I don't know as of yet.I want to reject these thoughts,but even when I do that,they come back.I am again appealing to all of you who follow my blog and read my posts regularly to keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time in my life and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I could use some encouraging words right about now.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with a counselor at a job placement organization in my hometown.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I went over to a local kitchen and I was given a bag lunch,which I accepted and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put a few things away and sat down to enjoy my lunch.I also heated up a bowl of soup to have alongside the bag lunch that I was given.After that,I called my neighbor and I helped her with something that she wanted to get done,which took an hour and half to finish.After that was done,I went back into the house to relax and finish the rest of my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from enduring the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in keeping me sustained.I am never alone when it comes to my mental illness struggles and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that the do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I manipulated my genitals to fantasies and lusting of other men and I wound ejaculating while doing that.This really made me feel terrible and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven by God and that my sin was also forgotten by God.Throughout the day,I was still tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and I kept up in prayer the whole day as the temptations kept coming at me from all sides.Lately,images of men have been creeping into my mind and along with them,my mind has been preoccupied with images of myself performing particular sexual acts on them,mostly oral sex.I just want my mind to be cleared of these images and also,I want to think positive,healthy,wholesome and Christian thoughts of my fellow man and not impure and unwholesome sexual thoughts.I want to think of my fellow men as brothers only and not as possible sexual partners.These types of things are borne out of selfishness,greed and lust and I just don't want to think about them.Why these images and thoughts keep creeping up into my mind is something that I don't know as of yet.I want to reject these thoughts,but even when I do that,they come back.I am again appealing to all of you who follow my blog and read my posts regularly to keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time in my life and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I could use some encouraging words right about now.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with a counselor at a job placement organization in my hometown.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the bank to deposit a check that was sent to me and after that,I decided to take a drive to find a particular place that I needed to look for as I was heading there on Friday.It is with a job placement office and I needed to find out where the place was so I would know where to go and how to get there.After finding the office,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I also have to endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult or unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and this does make me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I tossed to my left and the erection softened pretty quickly.I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and today,for the first time in quite a while,I was tempted to go out and seek other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.I ignored that temptation by simply driving home after finding the office that I have an appointment with on Friday.Day after day,the SSA struggle gets even more difficult and the unnatural desires to indulge in sinful sexual activity with other men also get stronger,because the temptation to do that gets stronger by the day.I was also trying to work on staying strong after falling yesterday morning.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I make to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments.Please leave me an encouraging comment as I would really appreciate that.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and gives me more motivation to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at the local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the bank to deposit a check that was sent to me and after that,I decided to take a drive to find a particular place that I needed to look for as I was heading there on Friday.It is with a job placement office and I needed to find out where the place was so I would know where to go and how to get there.After finding the office,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I also have to endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult or unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and this does make me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I tossed to my left and the erection softened pretty quickly.I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and today,for the first time in quite a while,I was tempted to go out and seek other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.I ignored that temptation by simply driving home after finding the office that I have an appointment with on Friday.Day after day,the SSA struggle gets even more difficult and the unnatural desires to indulge in sinful sexual activity with other men also get stronger,because the temptation to do that gets stronger by the day.I was also trying to work on staying strong after falling yesterday morning.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I make to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments.Please leave me an encouraging comment as I would really appreciate that.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and gives me more motivation to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at the local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had one really big thing on my agenda today.I had an appointment with a urology associates office in regard to the frequent bathroom going throughout the day and also,the pain in my groin area.After the appointment,which went well,we arranged another session where I have my groin area checked out via x-ray.After leaving the office,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbation early this morning,but this time,it was more on an emotional level than with lusting and fantasies,though that was a small contributor.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive my sins and I did feel better as a result as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist the temptations that came at me from all sides.I felt better and much stronger after doing that and it did make me feel better.I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts.I am also again ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and also,motivates me to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had one really big thing on my agenda today.I had an appointment with a urology associates office in regard to the frequent bathroom going throughout the day and also,the pain in my groin area.After the appointment,which went well,we arranged another session where I have my groin area checked out via x-ray.After leaving the office,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbation early this morning,but this time,it was more on an emotional level than with lusting and fantasies,though that was a small contributor.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive my sins and I did feel better as a result as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist the temptations that came at me from all sides.I felt better and much stronger after doing that and it did make me feel better.I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts.I am also again ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and also,motivates me to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, April 22, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.The only two things that I did was to first go to the public library to print something that I needed to print from my e-mail and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and for about half and hour,worked on paper work that I had to complete for my urology appointment tomorrow and for the job placement organization that I will be meeting with soon.After that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I have to cope and deal with this emotional roller coaster ride day in and day out and at times,it can get pretty monotonous and tiresome.There are times that I wish that I didn't have to deal with this or even endure it,although I know that I have to,though I still wish that I didn't.Aside from the emotional ups and downs of BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It's bad enough that I am enduring the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,but I also have to endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This one throbbed more than the previous ones that I have had.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I also headed for the bathroom as I had to use the bathroom anyway and when I was finished,the erection had fully softened and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation upon arising by manipulating my genitals to lustful images of men and I also subsequently started to fantasize with the images and that prompted the genital manipulation.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning.Throughout the day,I was tempted to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with sexual images of men and to subsequently manipulate my genitalia with those images in my mind.I kept up in prayer to God all throughout the day whenever these sexual images of men flooded my mind and I asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations as they came at me from all sides and I felt better and much stronger after that.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts here to continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with a urology associates office and I am hoping that this goes well.I have nothing else planned for the rest of the day.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.The only two things that I did was to first go to the public library to print something that I needed to print from my e-mail and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and for about half and hour,worked on paper work that I had to complete for my urology appointment tomorrow and for the job placement organization that I will be meeting with soon.After that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I have to cope and deal with this emotional roller coaster ride day in and day out and at times,it can get pretty monotonous and tiresome.There are times that I wish that I didn't have to deal with this or even endure it,although I know that I have to,though I still wish that I didn't.Aside from the emotional ups and downs of BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It's bad enough that I am enduring the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,but I also have to endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This one throbbed more than the previous ones that I have had.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I also headed for the bathroom as I had to use the bathroom anyway and when I was finished,the erection had fully softened and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation upon arising by manipulating my genitals to lustful images of men and I also subsequently started to fantasize with the images and that prompted the genital manipulation.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning.Throughout the day,I was tempted to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with sexual images of men and to subsequently manipulate my genitalia with those images in my mind.I kept up in prayer to God all throughout the day whenever these sexual images of men flooded my mind and I asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations as they came at me from all sides and I felt better and much stronger after that.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts here to continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with a urology associates office and I am hoping that this goes well.I have nothing else planned for the rest of the day.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were as wonderful as usual.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow Christians,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After paying the co-pay on these,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes,I also did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church every Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.It can get pretty tiresome and also,pretty monotonous.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply put this struggle in the hands of both God and his son Jesus Christ,take it to them in prayer and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a mater of letting God and his son Christ Jesus take the lead and getting me through the difficulties of this double whammy of a psychiatric disability that I have.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed and that is when the erection started to soften.I also walked to the bathroom and when I was finished in the bathroom,the erection had fully softened and I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while lusting and fantasizing to those sexual images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept asking God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and I felt much stronger afterwards and I truly believed and knew that God and Christ both heard me.I felt better afterwards and that was great.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that none of you be shy and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.I continually ask these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were as wonderful as usual.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow Christians,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After paying the co-pay on these,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes,I also did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church every Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.It can get pretty tiresome and also,pretty monotonous.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply put this struggle in the hands of both God and his son Jesus Christ,take it to them in prayer and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a mater of letting God and his son Christ Jesus take the lead and getting me through the difficulties of this double whammy of a psychiatric disability that I have.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed and that is when the erection started to soften.I also walked to the bathroom and when I was finished in the bathroom,the erection had fully softened and I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while lusting and fantasizing to those sexual images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept asking God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and I felt much stronger afterwards and I truly believed and knew that God and Christ both heard me.I felt better afterwards and that was great.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that none of you be shy and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.I continually ask these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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