Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up another thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit of reading and later,watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing with the symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD daily.It never gets any easier as I go from one day to the next as my emotions can vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes both my BPD struggles and my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle and I talk about it with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I leave nothing out,as I ask for strength to get me through the difficulties of this psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both help in sustaining me and also,keeping me serene and at a good and level plain.I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again twice during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.With the first occurrence,I sat up and proceeded to get up off of the bed and head for the doorway and that made the erection start to die down.I walked for a while until my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep after that.Regarding the second occurrence,I had to get up and use the bathroom pretty badly and I got off the bed and headed for the bathroom and after I was finished,my genitals were fully limp and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted after fully getting up out of bed for the day as I had a burning lust within me and the temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have were really coming on strong from all sides.I also had the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these lustful images of men.I really had to fight and resist these terrible temptations,but I knew that I couldn't do it alone as by myself,I would have given into these terrible temptations.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and I asked him for strength to help me control this burning and powerful lust that was within me.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me control the burning lust that I had burning within me.I also asked my Heavenly Father to also take away this lust as well and I really prayed hard.I didn't want to give into these terrible temptations as that would be sinning against my Heavenly Father and the prefect law that he set forth in regards to sexuality and his true purpose.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out and after I was finished praying,I felt much stronger and also knew that my Heavenly Father made me feel stronger and he also heard me.I felt wonderful and I kept up with my business for the day to keep my mind off of anything sexual and lustful.I did pray again when the lusts kept coming back and I felt better each time.It was the same as yesterday in the early evening when I also felt that same burning lust within me and I also asked my Heavenly Father in prayer in Christ Jesus' name to help me control the lust and also,to take away the lust within me as I didn't want to feel it anymore.Though I got through the day today,I still have to keep in mind that the lust can come back tomorrow or the day after that and so on.I have to stay on guard as the lust can come back and when it does,I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer again in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask again for the strength to help me fight and control the lust and also,to ask him to remove the lust from within me.Though I have been praying lots lately,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult and trying emotional time and also,to please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really need both prayers and words of encouragement.My blog gets many visitors,but comments of any kind are rarely left for me.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this difficult SSA struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.I need both badly and often,so please leave me an encouraging comment of two as I know that those who visit are behind me and are supporting me 100% all the way.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Friday, June 28, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Since today was rainy and a little foggy in my neck of the woods,I decided to catch up on some much needed work around the house.I have been putting it off for quite some time and I felt that today was the best day to catch up on it.I dove head first into doing all of this work around the house and though it was a lot,I managed to get a lot done in the short period of time that I had.After it was done,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.Whenever the symptoms of this psychiatric double whammy try to get the better of me or try to weigh me down,I simply talk really hard to my Heavenly Father and I leave nothing out.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular thing that I struggle with and they both help in keeping me sustained and also,keeping me level.I am never alone in this particular mental health struggle that I am going through and it does make me feel a tad better and a little more at ease.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted twice to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.On the first occurrence,I sat up for a while and proceeded to stand up and the erection died down within a matter of minutes.On the second occurrence,I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and I headed for the bathroom and as I headed there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I did give into a later temptation while I was still in bed by manipulating my genitalia for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Yes,lustful images did cloud my tired mind as I did this.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt much better as I knew as well as believed that my Heavenly Father did forgive me for my sins and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have by fantasies,lusting and also,to look at online pornography.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father whenever these temptations came at me from all sides.The temptations were also pretty overwhelming and I really had to use all of the strength that I had to pray to mt Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations.I didn't want to sin again as I did this morning and I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to have strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations as they kept coming at from all sides.I did feel much better as I did that and I knew that I was given that strength to fight and resist all of those terrible temptations.One thing I know that each and every time you resist temptations,they keep coming back stronger and stronger each time.But I know that my Heavenly Father is there to give me strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my daily posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,I also ask that none of you be shy and please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need encouraging words really badly and desperately as I am continuing to fight this terrible SSA.My blog gets quite a few visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA.I really want to heal and overcome and also,to continue to be free from the sinful sexual practices of all sorts that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have no plans.But I do hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Since today was rainy and a little foggy in my neck of the woods,I decided to catch up on some much needed work around the house.I have been putting it off for quite some time and I felt that today was the best day to catch up on it.I dove head first into doing all of this work around the house and though it was a lot,I managed to get a lot done in the short period of time that I had.After it was done,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.Whenever the symptoms of this psychiatric double whammy try to get the better of me or try to weigh me down,I simply talk really hard to my Heavenly Father and I leave nothing out.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular thing that I struggle with and they both help in keeping me sustained and also,keeping me level.I am never alone in this particular mental health struggle that I am going through and it does make me feel a tad better and a little more at ease.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted twice to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.On the first occurrence,I sat up for a while and proceeded to stand up and the erection died down within a matter of minutes.On the second occurrence,I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and I headed for the bathroom and as I headed there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I did give into a later temptation while I was still in bed by manipulating my genitalia for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Yes,lustful images did cloud my tired mind as I did this.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt much better as I knew as well as believed that my Heavenly Father did forgive me for my sins and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have by fantasies,lusting and also,to look at online pornography.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father whenever these temptations came at me from all sides.The temptations were also pretty overwhelming and I really had to use all of the strength that I had to pray to mt Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations.I didn't want to sin again as I did this morning and I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to have strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations as they kept coming at from all sides.I did feel much better as I did that and I knew that I was given that strength to fight and resist all of those terrible temptations.One thing I know that each and every time you resist temptations,they keep coming back stronger and stronger each time.But I know that my Heavenly Father is there to give me strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my daily posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,I also ask that none of you be shy and please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need encouraging words really badly and desperately as I am continuing to fight this terrible SSA.My blog gets quite a few visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA.I really want to heal and overcome and also,to continue to be free from the sinful sexual practices of all sorts that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have no plans.But I do hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and that went as well as expected.After that was over,I stopped to get some gas at a nearby gas station.After that,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was done with that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and I finished my personal PC work.After that,I did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed,as usual,to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle in prayer to my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help get me through the difficulties of this psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both in keeping me sustained and level.It does make me feel a tad better knowing that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ are there leading the way and keeping me a little more at ease.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed to use the bathroom and as I headed for the bathroom,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside the temptation to fantasize and lust.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I asked for strength to fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these temptations kept coming at me and I felt better and much stronger when I finished praying each time.I also felt that I was heard and that my Heavenly Father gave me everything that I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking for prayers from everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts here.Please continue praying for me as I am still going through this very difficult emotional time.I also ask that none of you be shy by leaving me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I really need some words of encouragement really badly.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments of any kind.Don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.They both,your prayers and encouraging words,help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you who follow my blog for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and that went as well as expected.After that was over,I stopped to get some gas at a nearby gas station.After that,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was done with that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and I finished my personal PC work.After that,I did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed,as usual,to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle in prayer to my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help get me through the difficulties of this psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both in keeping me sustained and level.It does make me feel a tad better knowing that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ are there leading the way and keeping me a little more at ease.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed to use the bathroom and as I headed for the bathroom,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside the temptation to fantasize and lust.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I asked for strength to fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these temptations kept coming at me and I felt better and much stronger when I finished praying each time.I also felt that I was heard and that my Heavenly Father gave me everything that I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking for prayers from everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts here.Please continue praying for me as I am still going through this very difficult emotional time.I also ask that none of you be shy by leaving me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I really need some words of encouragement really badly.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments of any kind.Don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.They both,your prayers and encouraging words,help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you who follow my blog for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today,except some stuff that needed to get done around the house.I simply did a little bit of work around the house here and there and after that was done,I relaxed for a bit and did some reading.I also watched a little bit of TV afterwards.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at other times,minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father whenever this struggle tried to get the better of me and I ask him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to get me through it and they both help in not only sustaining me,but also,keeping me calm and on a normal level plain.It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that they are leading the way and getting me through all of the negatives.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted twice to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.I sat up on both occasions and with the first occurrence,the erection went flaccid,but with the second occurrence,I had to get up and head for the bathroom as I had to use it.After I was finished,the erection had fully died down and I went back to bed and to sleep when I was done.Though I escaped this double whammy,I did give into two later temptations after getting up.On both of these,I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that clouded my mind and on both occasions,I had to pray to my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ's name to forgive me and also,I begged for my Heavenly Father to show me his mercy when it happened the second time.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I never ceased praying whenever these terrible temptations came at me as I didn't want to sin again.I kept it up and I asked for strength repeatedly and after each time I prayed,I felt much better and much stronger as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue to pray for me as I am going through all of this trying and difficult emotional time.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Aside from prayers,I also need encouraging words to help keep me going and to strengthen my determination to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA,but also to continue to seek healing healing from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.When people visit and don't leave any encouraging words,I feel that I am all alone in this particular struggle and I don't want to feel alone.Please leave me an encouraging word.It could be anything from a Holy Bible scripture to help build me up or it can be something that lets me know that I am not alone and there are people who support my endeavors to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today,except some stuff that needed to get done around the house.I simply did a little bit of work around the house here and there and after that was done,I relaxed for a bit and did some reading.I also watched a little bit of TV afterwards.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at other times,minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father whenever this struggle tried to get the better of me and I ask him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to get me through it and they both help in not only sustaining me,but also,keeping me calm and on a normal level plain.It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that they are leading the way and getting me through all of the negatives.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted twice to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.I sat up on both occasions and with the first occurrence,the erection went flaccid,but with the second occurrence,I had to get up and head for the bathroom as I had to use it.After I was finished,the erection had fully died down and I went back to bed and to sleep when I was done.Though I escaped this double whammy,I did give into two later temptations after getting up.On both of these,I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that clouded my mind and on both occasions,I had to pray to my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ's name to forgive me and also,I begged for my Heavenly Father to show me his mercy when it happened the second time.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I never ceased praying whenever these terrible temptations came at me as I didn't want to sin again.I kept it up and I asked for strength repeatedly and after each time I prayed,I felt much better and much stronger as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue to pray for me as I am going through all of this trying and difficult emotional time.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Aside from prayers,I also need encouraging words to help keep me going and to strengthen my determination to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA,but also to continue to seek healing healing from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.When people visit and don't leave any encouraging words,I feel that I am all alone in this particular struggle and I don't want to feel alone.Please leave me an encouraging word.It could be anything from a Holy Bible scripture to help build me up or it can be something that lets me know that I am not alone and there are people who support my endeavors to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I put off doing my personal PC work to help out my niece,who asked me to drop off some paperwork at the local Social Services office for her.Before doing that,I stopped at a local kitchen to have a light lunch and after that,I dropped off the paperwork and headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I paid a very important bill over the phone and after that,I headed back out again to drop off some newspapers and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go through day to day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having to contend and endure with BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him to get me through in the name of his son Jesus Christ and also,to give me the strength to get through any difficulty that comes with the territory of having the psychiatric disability that I have and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me at a normal level plain.I also feel a tad better knowing that they are both there and leading the way.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me twice during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.On the first occasion,I turned to the opposite side and within a few minutes,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Regarding the second one,I sat up and headed for the bathroom as I had to go and use it.As I headed for the bathroom,the erection started to soften and was fully soft when I was finished.I went back to bed and to sleep after that.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and to also lust after other men when sexual images tried to cloud my mind.I also was tempted to manipulate my genitalia for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and I prayed real hard.I prayed in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and after I was finished praying each time,I felt stronger and I also knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and I just kept praying all day whenever these temptations came at me from all sides.I also kept busy doing other things to keep my mind off of sexual things and that also helped as well.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts here to please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through an emotionally trying and difficult time.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me as I can use some encouragement right now.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome SSA and also,to motivate me to continue to seek healing from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.For those unaware,what I mean by "the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have",is that I willfully refuse to let these unnatural sexual desires for members of my own gender dictate nor determine how I will behave or act.Our Heavenly Father made us in his image and also,he made woman as a compliment and also,a compatibility partner as we are all biologically hard-wired for male-female compatibility and our Heavenly Father only accepts and approves of healthy and happy heterosexuality and also,he accepts no substitutes as the order that he gave is man and woman and nothing else.That is what I mean by that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I put off doing my personal PC work to help out my niece,who asked me to drop off some paperwork at the local Social Services office for her.Before doing that,I stopped at a local kitchen to have a light lunch and after that,I dropped off the paperwork and headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I paid a very important bill over the phone and after that,I headed back out again to drop off some newspapers and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go through day to day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having to contend and endure with BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him to get me through in the name of his son Jesus Christ and also,to give me the strength to get through any difficulty that comes with the territory of having the psychiatric disability that I have and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me at a normal level plain.I also feel a tad better knowing that they are both there and leading the way.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me twice during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.On the first occasion,I turned to the opposite side and within a few minutes,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Regarding the second one,I sat up and headed for the bathroom as I had to go and use it.As I headed for the bathroom,the erection started to soften and was fully soft when I was finished.I went back to bed and to sleep after that.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and to also lust after other men when sexual images tried to cloud my mind.I also was tempted to manipulate my genitalia for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and I prayed real hard.I prayed in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and after I was finished praying each time,I felt stronger and I also knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and I just kept praying all day whenever these temptations came at me from all sides.I also kept busy doing other things to keep my mind off of sexual things and that also helped as well.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts here to please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through an emotionally trying and difficult time.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me as I can use some encouragement right now.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome SSA and also,to motivate me to continue to seek healing from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.For those unaware,what I mean by "the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have",is that I willfully refuse to let these unnatural sexual desires for members of my own gender dictate nor determine how I will behave or act.Our Heavenly Father made us in his image and also,he made woman as a compliment and also,a compatibility partner as we are all biologically hard-wired for male-female compatibility and our Heavenly Father only accepts and approves of healthy and happy heterosexuality and also,he accepts no substitutes as the order that he gave is man and woman and nothing else.That is what I mean by that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, June 24, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the public library to do some stuff that I couldn't do at home computer-wise.After that was done,I headed for a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a small thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.It is a very difficult thing to deal with and endure on a daily basis.Aside from the emotional ups and downs of BPD,I also have to deal with and endure the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which make both my struggles with BPD and SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his Christ Jesus to get me through and to keep me stable.I always feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me and also,they both help keep me on a steady and level plain.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed to go to the bathroom,and as I headed there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and also,to lust after them,including the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I had to really pray hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist these urges.These urges can and do get very overwhelming at times and the more resistance that is put up,the more stronger the temptations/urges get.I had to really ask for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges and I prayed very hard.I did feel better and much stronger after praying and I knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me and also,don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging words to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both help keep me going and they also both motivate me to continue in this fight and struggle and also,to continue in wanting to overcome SSA and also,to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the public library to do some stuff that I couldn't do at home computer-wise.After that was done,I headed for a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a small thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.It is a very difficult thing to deal with and endure on a daily basis.Aside from the emotional ups and downs of BPD,I also have to deal with and endure the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which make both my struggles with BPD and SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his Christ Jesus to get me through and to keep me stable.I always feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me and also,they both help keep me on a steady and level plain.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed to go to the bathroom,and as I headed there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and also,to lust after them,including the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I had to really pray hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist these urges.These urges can and do get very overwhelming at times and the more resistance that is put up,the more stronger the temptations/urges get.I had to really ask for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges and I prayed very hard.I did feel better and much stronger after praying and I knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me and also,don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging words to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both help keep me going and they also both motivate me to continue in this fight and struggle and also,to continue in wanting to overcome SSA and also,to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship after the service,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a prescription and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of lounge pants.After that,I had a light lunch.After lunch,I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I relaxed and watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles,alongside my SSA struggles,even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle and I talk to my Heavenly Father about it and I leave nothing out.I tell him what is wrong and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through and they both help help in keeping me sustained and at a steady and level and level plain.This shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to head for the bathroom as i had to use it.As I headed for there,the erection softened and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men were trying to cloud my mind.I also had the urge to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside these temptations.I had to really pray hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to fight and resist all of these urges to act out with the temptations to indulge in the same sex sexual fantasies and the lusting.I prayed hard for strength to fight and resist all of these urges and after each prayer,I felt better as I knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and he gave me what I had asked for.While I have been doing this,I am again asking for all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I am still going through a really difficult and trying emotional time and I am going to need all the prayers and all the encouragement that I can get.Your prayers and your encouraging both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination and journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Please pray for me and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship after the service,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a prescription and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of lounge pants.After that,I had a light lunch.After lunch,I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I relaxed and watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles,alongside my SSA struggles,even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle and I talk to my Heavenly Father about it and I leave nothing out.I tell him what is wrong and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through and they both help help in keeping me sustained and at a steady and level and level plain.This shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to head for the bathroom as i had to use it.As I headed for there,the erection softened and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men were trying to cloud my mind.I also had the urge to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside these temptations.I had to really pray hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to fight and resist all of these urges to act out with the temptations to indulge in the same sex sexual fantasies and the lusting.I prayed hard for strength to fight and resist all of these urges and after each prayer,I felt better as I knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and he gave me what I had asked for.While I have been doing this,I am again asking for all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I am still going through a really difficult and trying emotional time and I am going to need all the prayers and all the encouragement that I can get.Your prayers and your encouraging both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination and journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Please pray for me and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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