Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today,except some stuff that needed to get done around the house.I simply did a little bit of work around the house here and there and after that was done,I relaxed for a bit and did some reading.I also watched a little bit of TV afterwards.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at other times,minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father whenever this struggle tried to get the better of me and I ask him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to get me through it and they both help in not only sustaining me,but also,keeping me calm and on a normal level plain.It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that they are leading the way and getting me through all of the negatives.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted twice to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.I sat up on both occasions and with the first occurrence,the erection went flaccid,but with the second occurrence,I had to get up and head for the bathroom as I had to use it.After I was finished,the erection had fully died down and I went back to bed and to sleep when I was done.Though I escaped this double whammy,I did give into two later temptations after getting up.On both of these,I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that clouded my mind and on both occasions,I had to pray to my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ's name to forgive me and also,I begged for my Heavenly Father to show me his mercy when it happened the second time.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I never ceased praying whenever these terrible temptations came at me as I didn't want to sin again.I kept it up and I asked for strength repeatedly and after each time I prayed,I felt much better and much stronger as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue to pray for me as I am going through all of this trying and difficult emotional time.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Aside from prayers,I also need encouraging words to help keep me going and to strengthen my determination to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA,but also to continue to seek healing healing from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.When people visit and don't leave any encouraging words,I feel that I am all alone in this particular struggle and I don't want to feel alone.Please leave me an encouraging word.It could be anything from a Holy Bible scripture to help build me up or it can be something that lets me know that I am not alone and there are people who support my endeavors to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ