Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had myself a couple cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and when I was done eating,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I got dressed and I went outside to clean off my car and shovel the walk.After that was done,I headed out to do a few errands that needed to be done.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After that,I stopped in a nearby local supermarket to pick up something that the Dollar Tree didn't have.After that,I went to a gas station to get some gas.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at my niece's house to pick up my laundry and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away quickly and I headed back out to do a little more shoveling of the walk for the mail people.I was hurrying as a friend of the family invited me out to lunch and I worked at speed to get the shoveling done.After putting the snow shovel away,the family friend arrived and we headed for a local restaurant for lunch.
It was a wonderful lunch.After we were done,she dropped me off at home and when I got in,I decided to do some more personal PC work.I also relaxed and watched a few classic TV show episodes on DVD.
After eating a light dinner,I was hoping to go to a New Year's Eve get together,but the householder wound up getting sick and the get together was cancelled.Since this change of events happened,I decided to attend the New Year's Eve service at church,which was what I was initially going to do until the New Year's Eve get together invitation came to me.
It was a wonderful service and after some fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed out of my dress clothes and into my night clothes.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of my struggles.Today,I gave into temptation yet again by manipulating my genitals and I wound up ejaculating while I was doing this.Yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind as I did this,and I did immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for falling in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and I moved on with the rest of the day.Fellow blog followers,I need some advice on how I can stop this unclean,dirty and impure practice of genital manipulation.This has become a serious habit with me and I do want to stop this habit and overcome it.Please fellow blog followers,if anyone out there has any helpful advice,please share it in the comments section.I would really appreciate that.I also would appreciate that y'all continue prayerful and positive verbal support for me.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of things day in and day out and also,desperately.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some words of positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of attending the New Year's Day church service,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC quickly and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things planned and I was looking forward to the day.
I went over to a friend's house and I picked him up.We headed for the AMVETS thrift store within another area of the next county and we both had a blast.I bought some great things,including an extra heavy Blanket for those cold winter nights.I bought a few tapes and some more records.After paying for those items,we headed to a nearby gas station to get some gas for the return trip and after that,we had lunch at a nearby restaurant and we had a personal pizza each and some fries,along with a drink.After we were finished eating,we headed out to return home to our home city.
Before dropping my friend off at home,I showed him where I worship each Sunday and he said that the church building was beautiful.After that,I dropped him off at home and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and sorted the records out.After that,I registered some bills that I got in change at the Where's George site and headed back out again to buy some needed things at a local Dollar Tree.I also got some gas with the rest of the change.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a few classic TV episodes on DVD and relax.I also prepared for my evening meal.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.My struggles with SSA are much more difficult because of my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia.At times,I hear voices telling me to do things and also,I hear them call out my name or say things for no random reason.At times,I hear footsteps,but when I turn around,I see nobody there.It really stuns me at times.I also have to put up with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD as my moods fluctuate at times daily or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I still attend my therapy sessions and I continue to take my medication as directed.Today,I wasn't tempted very much by SSA as I was out in the community for much of the day.I was out and enjoying myself and didn't have much problems.It was wonderful that I didn't have to worry about anything.It took my mind off of the SSA and anything connected with it.Though I escaped unscathed today,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me and also,please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.I still need both prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ fr everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,in the evening,I am going to be attending a New Year's Eve get together at the house of a couple who attend the Thursday night Holy Bible study group that I attend,which is all that I have planned for tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I decided to lay down for a while as I had a terribly pounding headache.I felt better after that and I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I did get tempted minimally to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men,but today,it wasn't too much.I simply went about my morning rituals at home and got dressed up for church.I went to church and I enjoyed it.I always enjoy going to church each and every Sunday and the holy days when they come around.The next holy days to come will be when the Lenten weeks and Easter holidays come around,which will be only a few months away once the new year starts.It is hard to believe that 2013 and the holiday season of this year is almost over.I am simply going to continue seeking healing from SSA and also,I am also going to continue in my resolve to overcome SSA.The SSA struggle is a very difficult one indeed and my struggles with the psychiatric double whammy that I have makes the SSA struggle,for me,even more difficult to handle.I wish that at times that I didn't struggle with SSA and the struggle is not only a very difficult one,but also a terrible thing to struggle with.The thing with SSA is that it only works to destroy lives rather than enhances them.The sexual desires that are connected with the SSA struggle are unnatural and not the way that our sovereign Lord and creator,our Heavenly Father,intended for us to be as it makes sexuality look dirty,debasing and disgusting.Our Heavenly Father created and gave us sexuality as a gift,but the rest of the world is abusing the gift to the point where it is being used and abused by the rest of the world for all the wrong reasons and excuses.The way that it is being used by the rest of the world isn't they way that our Heavenly Father intended for it to be used.It is terrible the way that it is being used by our modern world.It really makes me sad and angry because if it wasn't for the sexual abuse that I endured at the hands of older and trusted men,which was one of the contributors of why I struggle,I wouldn't be struggling with SSA.Of course,the physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my "non-denominated" father,alongside his legalistic ways,was the root cause of my struggles with SSA as I never received his love and affirmation,only his emasculation and his abusive ways.I am just hoping that one day,I will be fully healed from SSA.Fellow blog followers,please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support day in and day out.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,a friend and I have plans to go to an AMVETS thrift store in another area in the next county and we are hoping for some wonderful things to find,which is what I have planned for tomorrow.I am going to relax for the rest of the day when I got home.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had a couple cups of coffee.I actually woke up with a terrible pounding headache and I couldn't think straight nor stay awake.I took something for my headache and laid back down while listening to some soft classical music.Within an hour,my headache was gone and I went into the bathroom to shower.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to head out to do a couple of things.
I first dropped off my laundry at my niece's house and after that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to check and see if they had something that I was looking for,which they didn't.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got back into a sweatsuit and did some more cleaning up in my old upstairs room.After that,I did some more personal PC work and relaxed.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.The thing with the SSA struggle is that it's my most difficult struggle and my struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia makes it even more difficult.Today,I gave into yet another temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and it led to ejaculation.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him as I was truly sorry for what I did.I don't know what really makes me do this thing so much.I really hate it when I fall short as I feel that I failed my Heavenly Father in my resolve to overcome and heal from SSA.I did feel better after praying and I went on with the rest of the the day.Fellow blog followers and readers,I need some helpful advice.How can I stop giving into the dirty,unclean and impure habit of genital manipulation?If anybody has any ideas to share,please share.I am open to anything.I want to nip this habit in the butt for good,but I don't know how to go about it.If anyone has any suggestions,advice or anything that helped you if you struggled with this particular habit,please share.I am desperate.I want to stop this dirty,unclean and impure habit once and for all.I am sick of giving into this habit and I want to stop it as it has a negative effect on my goals to overcome and heal from SSA.This is a form of acting out on the unnatural desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Please share any advice or suggestions that you have.If anyone out there has overcome this particular habit,what worked for you as again,I am open to anything.I am also again asking that y'all please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section and also,please share what has worked for all of you if you also struggled with this particular habit of genital manipulation.As stated,I am open to anything as I really want to stop practicing this particular dirty habit as it isn't helping me in any way to overcome SSA as it is only making the problem worse as this habit isn't a good thing.Please share any advice or suggestions.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support,especially anything that can help me overcome this terrible habit of genital manipulation.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first turned in some empty bottles that were given to me by my sister and after that,I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk and a can of frozen orange juice.After paying for these things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I shoveled the walk for the mail people and after that was done,I went into the house to relax and watch another holiday themed video.
After eating,I decided to watch another holiday themed video.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the latter struggle being made more difficult by the former struggle.I never know how things will be for me from one day to the next or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have to put up with overwhelming temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.These temptations can be very overwhelming and also,very difficult to resist.I am still working on everything that I need to do.I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my life.I really need to work on starting to pray often.I feel that this is why the temptations are really overwhelming.I also have to keep in mind that whenever I do resist any temptations,they can come back stronger than before due to the resistance of them.I have to keep that in mind constantly.I hate it when temptation comes around and I also hate it when I give into any temptations when they come around.While I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my life,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also need some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things constantly day in and day out.They both help out in a lot of ways.They can help boost self confidence and self esteem the more that they are used and offered.Again,please continue giving me your prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I was also hoping to attend my usual Thursday morning Holy Bible study group,but I wasn't feeling very good.My right leg was hurting me badly as I could barely walk on it.My head was also pounding painfully,but I took something for that and I rested.Later on,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Before I did anything,I went out to shovel the walk for the mail people and I also cleaned off my car while I was warming it up.Before I left the house,I phoned a locally living friend to see if it was okay for me to pick up the Christmas gift that he had for me,which he said that I could come.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
It was a wonderful gift of a few dollars that I could use.After some socialization with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and register the few dollars that I got at the Where's George site.After that,I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a couple more holiday themed videos that I hadn't gotten around to watch during the time leading up to the holiday.After that,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.My struggles with SSA are made more difficult with the psychiatric double whammy that I have.At times,I hear voices telling me to do things that are wrong and sinful and I also hear sounds that nobody else hears,such as voices calling out my name and footsteps following me when I walk and every time that I turn around,there is always nobody there at all.It's bad enough that I have to put up with the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA,but having the psychiatric double whammy of BPD/Schizophrenia makes the struggle with SSA even more difficult.Today,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,there were sexual images of men clouding my mind and I wound up ejaculating.After washing my hands,I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin.I pleaded with my Heavenly Father for his mercy and asked for forgiveness as I was truly sorry for what I did.I hate it when I fall short.After finishing,I felt much better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my everyday life.I need to do that.While I am working on that,I am again asking for prayerful support by my fellow blog followers.I am also again asking for some more positive words of encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things to help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Merry Christmas,Everybody.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I headed for church for the Christmas Day morning worship service.
The Christmas Day service was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.After that,I headed over to my niece's house for a little lunch and after that,I headed back home to do some personal PC work.After that was done,I headed over to my sister's house for some dinner.
The dinner was wonderful and after hanging out with them for a while and talking,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and did some more personal PC work.After that,I watched a few holiday themed videos and DVD's.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was minimally tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men,but since I was busy celebrating the holiday with my friends in church and my family,it took my mind off of these things.I didn't have anything to worry about.I had a wonderful day with my church friends and my family and that kept my mind on positive things and also,it actually removed the immoral images from my mind.I can thank my Heavenly Father for that and I will be before I turn in for the evening.I just relaxed for the rest of the evening and I enjoyed watching the few holiday themed videos and DVD's.Though I escaped today,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I have to stay alert and look out for any terrible temptations.I am again asking for prayerful support from my fellow blog followers and also,I am again asking for some words of positive encouragement.I am always in need of these things.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Thursday morning Holy Bible study group,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,despite some setbacks with Yahoo mail,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed in a pair of jeans to go out and shovel the walk for the mail people to come later on when they deliver the mail.It took me several minutes,but I got it done.I also cleaned my car off of snow that fell overnight while I was sleeping.After that was all done,I went back into the house to relax and enjoy a few more holiday themed videos and DVD's.
Later on,I decided to have an early evening meal as I was going to go to the evening's Christmas Eve church service.I got dressed up in some neat dress clothes and headed for church for the service.
The Christmas Eve church service was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into night clothes.I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.The SSA struggle is actually more difficult for me mainly due to the psychiatric double whammy that I have.I have to put up with hearing voices and sounds that nobody else hears,which only I can hear and it does get pretty draining both emotionally and energy wise.As a result of these things,I get overwhelmed by temptations to act out in other ways other than going out to seek out men to indulge in sinful sexual activity with.I get tempted to fantasize and lust when sexual images of men cloud my mind and I also get tempted to manipulate my genitals to these sexual images,which motivates the lusting of these sexual images of men.Today,I was tempted,but tried to keep myself busy with doing the things around the house that needed to be done.I shoveled the walk for the mail people and also,anticipated the Christmas Eve worship service tonight at church and that took my mind off of these immoral things.Still,I am a work in progress and I am still doing a psychological house cleaning of everything that causes me to stumble and fall in regards to my struggles with SSA.I need to keep telling these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and they don't own me.It's easier said than done,but I know that it can be done with the right motivation.I still need to work on getting tough with myself and also,I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my life.Fellow blog followers,I am asking that you continue offering prayerful support for me and also,a nice encouraging comment in the comments section would be appreciated.I need both of these things day in and day out.Please continue doing these things for me and also,I will pray for all of you at the same time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I will be going to church for the Christmas Day morning worship service.I will also be celebrating the holiday with my family and visiting with a friend who lives locally.When that's all over,I will simply relax and watch a movie or two until it is time for me to retire for the evening.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only one thing on my agenda today.
I went to my bank to withdraw some much needed money as next Monday,weather permitting,I am hoping to get out to another AMVETS thrift store in another area of the next county.I am hoping that the weather will be decent next Monday as AMVETS thrift stores will be having a 1/2 off sale and I want to get some good stuff and I am hoping that the weather will be decent for that.After withdrawing the money,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the money in a safe place and I relaxed while watching a few more holiday themed DVD's.
After eating,I decided to simply continue relaxing while watching a few more holiday themed DVD's.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and the terrible SSA struggle,which is made harder by the psychiatric double whammy that I have.I have to constantly put up with the hallucinatory effects of Schizophrenia and the up and down emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.At times,I hear things that nobody else hears,such as voices calling out my name and footsteps,which make me turn around to see if anybody is there,only to find nobody.At times,the voices even try to get me to indulge in sinful fantasies and lusting of other men and to manipulate my genitals with these sexual and fantasy styled images clouding my mind,which is how my struggles with SSA are made even more difficult.The thing is that I can't let the unnatural sexual desires that I have dominate me nor dictate to me how I will act as a person or how I live my life.I have to let these unnatural sexual desires that I have know that I own them and not the other way around.I also have to stay in the fight and continue to work on being strong,as it is a sin to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I have to keep in mind that this type of sexual activity is immoral,unclean,impure and also,just plain wrong.I get tempted to act out in various ways every day.I have to keep telling these unnatural desires that I have that acting out on them is not approved of by my Heavenly Father as his sacred word,the Holy Bible,condemns this sort of sexual activity.Not only that,I have to keep on with the fight because if I were to throw in the towel and give up,I would be giving Satan and his minions what they want,which is something that no believer in Christ can do.Why?Though Satan has great anger according to the Holy Bible book of Revelation 12:12 says,he still takes great joy when a believer in Christ falls short and instead of asking our Heavenly Father to forgive them in the name of his son Jesus Christ,they decided to throw in the towel and go back to the sinful sexual lifestyle knows as the so called "Gay" lifestyle and as a Christian,I can never do that.Regarding my mental health,I am still in therapy for that and I am still taking my medication as directed.I simply don't share my SSA struggles with my therapist and the nurse practitioner at the local hospital's mental health clinic.Why?Because the mental health therapy industry is so one sided in regards to SSA.The vast majority of mental health therapists simply don't understand nor will they take the time to understand the struggles that we people who struggle with SSA have.Their way is simply advise anyone that instead of struggling,why not embrace the identity and go out and live your life as such and not feel guilty nor ashamed of it.This simply means to simply accept the false identity of "Homosexual/Gay" and go out to live our lives in sin regardless of the consequences,both physical and emotional,later on.I only share my SSA struggles with trusted Christian ministry leaders,other trusted Christians who struggle or other trusted Christians who understand,although they don't struggle,because they give the much needed support and understanding that most mental health professional practitioners don't give.I also feel better sharing my SSA struggles with them because they give understanding,support both verbally and prayerfully and don't judge when you share the struggles openly.I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me and to also please leave me some positive and encouraging words in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,which will be Christmas Eve,I have plans to attend the Christmas Eve evening worship service in church tomorrow evening.I haven't gotten anything else planned,but I hope that positive benefits come with whatever I choose to do.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and was surprised that my alarm didn't go off.When I got up and out of bed,I saw that my alarm clock was flashing 5:31am this morning and when I went to check the time on another clock,I saw that it was 7:40am in the morning.I had discovered that while I was sleeping,the power went out and I saw that a few of the electric clocks had a flashing time or no time on them.
I hurriedly jumped into the shower and showered quickly.After I dried up quickly,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I hurriedly got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church.I spent much of the time waiting for the car to warm up working to get ice off of my windows and windshield that had accumulated as a result of the freezing rain that we had last night.I worked as fast as I could and when I had gotten the vast majority of the ice off,I drove to church and it was pretty tough driving there as I had to drive carefully over the slick roads and I also had to watch out for fallen tree branches and other wooded messes around on the streets as a result of the freezing rain storm last night.Fortunately,I made it to church all in one piece and was ready for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,where everyone there thanked me for sending them Christmas cards,I headed straight home and it was easier getting home as a result of the change in the rainy weather pattern,though I still needed to look out for downed tree branches and even some electrical wires down.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I watched a few holiday themed videos.
After eating,I relaxed and watched a few more holiday themed videos and DVD's.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia and my daily struggles with SSA.I never know what will happen when it comes to the psychiatric double whammy that I have or the SSA that I struggle with.Today,I was tempted throughout the afternoon,but kept busy with watching holiday themed videos and DVD's.I kept watching them religiously.I have plenty of them.Today,it wasn't a very big problem,but tomorrow and the subsequent days after tomorrow have their own troubles and anxieties.Temptations can come when least expected and I never know when a temptation will come around.I am still working on getting tough with myself.I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my daily life.I have to show the unnatural sexual desires that I have that I won them and that they don't own me.I know that this is easier said than done,but I know that I can do it with the help of my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.Please continue in prayer for me and please continue to leave me some words of positive encouragement.I need them both as they do keep me going and show that I am not alone.They also help keep me on the path to change and continue searching for myself in regards to my manliness and finally connecting with my true identity,which is male.I need to connect with my true male identity as I have never connected with it as a result of the physical and emotional abuse that I suffered at the hands of my father and also,his legalistic ways that screwed me up and is the main reason for my struggles with SSA.There were other contributing factors,such as being the victim of sexual abuse at the hands of other members of my gender and also,being the victim of a pedophile at three separate intervals of my life.With the help of my Heavenly Father,his son Jesus Christ and also,the helpful prayerful and positive verbal support of my fellow man,I can overcome SSA and also,transcend from it into my true male identity.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only one thing planned for today.
The only thing that I did today was that I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy myself an ice scraper for my car's windows and windshield.Since this is the Winter season,I need to be prepared for unpredictable weather patterns and also,we are supposed to get freezing rain in my region tonight and I want to be ready.After buying that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and watched a holiday themed DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's and videos.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and my daily struggles with SSA.The SSA struggle is always very difficult.I have to continuously put up with overwhelming temptations that come at me when I least expect them and at times,they are very difficult to resist.Though sexual images of men did cloud my mind today,I was out in the community today and that helped take my mind off of those things.With being out and about,I simply went and did what I had to do and that was good.I really didn't have anything to worry about nor did I have to deal with the difficulties of overwhelming temptations.Again,though I got through today,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Each and every day has it's own troubles and anxieties.I know that I shouldn't worry about tomorrow as Christ Jesus said in the Holy Bible,but I still need to be on guard against all sorts of things.Satan and his minions will try anything to get me or any SSA man into trouble by using everything in their evil power to get any one of us SSA men,including myself,to sin against our Heavenly Father and to disobey his laws in regards to what it says about the sexual activity between two members of the same gender or any other forms of sexual immorality.Again,I need to be on guard and watch out for anything that comes at me.I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my day and while I am doing that,I am again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and leave me something encouraging in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you fr your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to church,I have really nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.When I do head for church tomorrow,I am going to need to be careful while driving as there is a storm watch in effect and also,a freeze warning as we are supposed to get freezing rain overnight.I am just hoping to make it to church and back home safe and sound.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
The main thing on my agenda for today was my session with the priest.After getting some gas and doing a little shopping at a Salvation Army thrift store on the way,I headed over to his office and I was looking forward to this session as I always been looking forward to them.
The session was wonderful.I shared with him everything that had happened since we last talked and also,I shared with him my latest fall today,which I will be sharing before the end of the post.After our wonderful talk,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby public library to register a ten dollar bill and the Where's George website.After that,I stopped at an AMVETS thrift store that was in the area and I bought a few tapes.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit to relax and take it easy.I also did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a holiday themed DVD and watched it while relaxing.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a very good day.I also did some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and my struggles with SSA.Today,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind while doing so.After washing my hands,I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I left nothing out and I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin.After I was finished,I did feel better and I did truly believe that I was forgiven.Still,I need to work on avoiding falling into the trap of habitual sin and I am still working on getting tough with myself in regards to that.I am still a work in progress and that is okay.The thing is since I live alone,the temptations to act out are getting stronger and I really need to work on making prayer a part of my daily life.Right now,the only time that I pray is at night before going to sleep and while that is good,I need to start doing it more often during the day and again,it is one of the goals in my walk with my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.I need to start praying more than that just one time at night.I need to really bring myself closer to my Heavenly Father and really pray and sense his presence when I am praying.While I am still working on that,I am again asking that my fellow blog followers please continue praying for me and also,please leave something encouraging in the comments section.I need these things day in and day out to know that I am not alone.I only feel alone when nobody says anything in the comments section.Both prayerful and positive verbal support are always appreciated.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have really nothing planned.But I do hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I first went over to the place where my usual Thursday morning Holy Bible study group was to attend the group meeting for today.Before the meeting,I had to meet with one of the counselors who has been working with me for a while to sign some consent papers and after that,I eagerly awaited the group meeting to begin.
The group meeting was wonderful.After the meting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local kitchen for lunch.After eating lunch,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After paying for those things,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed.
After eating,I headed over to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group and that also was wonderful.After that was over,I headed straight home to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with the psychiatric double whammy that I have of BPD/Schizophrenia and my daily SSA struggles.The struggles on both of these sides never ends.They just keep getting even more difficult.Today,I really didn't have much of a problem with temptation in regards to my SSA struggles.It was simply going to both my morning and evening Holy Bible study groups that took my mind off of the sexual stuff.I was also keeping busy by simply being around people and helping them get to know our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ through the Holy Bible.I also shopped and visited with a friend and that also made my mind stay clear,Still,there is always tomorrow and I need to keep in mind that just because I escaped unscathed today,tomorrow is a different matter altogether.I have to work on staying strong and taking the matters over to my Heavenly Father in prayer and to ask for strength in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ constantly.I am still a work in progress and that is okay.Fellow blog followers,please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave me some positive encouraging words in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment to meet with a priest who I have been having sessions with hoping to connect with a Courage group that he leads.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.Yesterday,I received a gift card from a friend of the family in a Christmas card that I received in the mail.I went out shopping at the local supermarket where the card was from and I bought some stuff that I needed pretty badly and after paying for the stuff,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a friend's business and I picked something up that he was holding for me.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while watching a couple of DVD's.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I stayed out and stayed busy for much of the day shopping and that kept me busy.This took my mind off of the sexual stuff connected with the SSA struggle.Admittedly,the SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle to endure and deal with.It can also be very draining energy and emotional wise.At times,I wish that I didn't have to struggle with this because SSA ruins the lives of people rather than enhances them in regards to the sinful sexual activity connected with it.The thing is that I have to keep in mind that the sexual desires connected with SSA are unnatural and inappropriate.I understand that the SSA condition in itself isn't sinful,but the sexual activity connected with it is sinful.Regarding what I am looking for in regards to members of my own gender,I am simply for relationships where the benefits friendships,bonding,healthy Christian styled connections and real acceptance by my fellow men and not the false sense of acceptance that the so called "Gay" culture has,where it leads to the never ending sexual promiscuity that is very common in that culture,which can only lead to AIDS,which at present is an incurable disease that kills people who have it and suffer with it.The thing is that,even though I have brought it up numerous times,our Heavenly Father never intended sexuality to be used and abused in the way that the unholy world around us is using and abusing it for.He intended for sexuality to be shared by a man and his wife in the marital framework of healthy and happy Heterosexuality and not for anything other than that.The thing is that this SSA struggle is really overwhelming at times and the temptations can be very strong and the more that the temptations are resisted,the more stronger that they become.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I would appreciate both of these positive and wonderful things.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to heal from SSA strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my daytime and evening time Holy Bible study groups,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since my niece came through for me and opened up the bottom of my driveway,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the post office to mail out some Christmas cards for my friends and after that,I got some gas in my gas tank and after that,I headed over to a local Burger King for a quick lunch and after that,I headed for a local Dollar Tree to pick up some things and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a friends place to see how they were doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's.After that,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is made worse by my struggles with the former psychiatric double whammy that I have.How is it made worse?I have to put up with hearing things,such as sounds that nobody hears like footsteps or voices calling out my name and there is nobody there when I look to see.I also hear someone in my head telling me to do things that I don't want to do,like today,I again gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals,but this time,I wound up ejaculating as a result of that and sexual images of men did cloud my mind.I really felt terrible about this and after washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling.I did feel better after that.What led to the fall was the stress of me being couped up in the house all day as a result of my driveway opening being snowed in.I really have to make it a habit of praying more frequently so I don't fall so much.I really hated that I fell again and it makes me angry at myself for doing so.I have to learn to ignore the voices telling me to do that wrong and particular unclean and dirty habit of genital manipulation to sexual images of men.I need to find some way of cleaning my mind and keeping my mind pure and clean in the near and distant future.I hate it when I fall and I really hate the sexual pull that I have towards members of my own gender.I also hate it when those so called "Gay" activists sing the praises of that sinful sexual lifestyle that my Heavenly Father condemns in his sacred word,the Holy Bible,as in it's own words,which are my Heavenly Father's words written down by men as my Heavenly Father said,that the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong,unclean,impure and inappropriate.Plus,I have to keep in mind that my Heavenly Father's view on sexuality,which he created,is not on par with the world's view.My Heavenly Father never intended sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing it.Fellow blog followers,I need prayers and positive verbal encouragement like never before.Please say a few kind words in the comments section and also,please continue praying for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to simply go out temporarily and shovel the sidewalk for the mail people to come and deliver my mail.I was stuck at home much of the day because the city snow plows plowed the bottom of my drive way in and I know that I couldn't get out of the driveway to do things that I needed to do.I simply went back in the house and watched a couple of DVD's while having a couple cups of hot chocolate.I relaxed for much of the day and I am hoping that I might be able to get out tomorrow to do what I have to do.
After eating,I simply watched a few more holiday themed DVD's while relaxing and I decided to get ready for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men,but this time,I grabbed the bull by the horns and I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.After that,I stayed busy by watching DVD's all through the day.It took my mind off of the sexual aspect of SSA and I felt better.Still,I need all the prayerful and emotional support that I can get.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately and now.Please leave me something encouraging in the comments section.Please also continue praying for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I am hoping to get out and do what I have to do.I am hoping that my family will come through for me and blow all the snow at the bottom of the driveway so I can do what I have to do.If it doesn't happen,then I guess that I have to hang out at home again.
That was my day today and my hoped for plans for the next day.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed out to church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.Though I had a terrible time getting out of my driveway to head for church,I made it out and I made it there all in one piece.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few boxes of hot chocolate and a couple bags of snacks.After paying for these,I headed straight home.
When I got home,though I had some difficulty getting into my driveway,I put the stuff that I bought away and I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit.I also did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and watched a couple of DVD's that I popped into the DVD player.After these were over,I did a little more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a few holiday themed DVD's and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and the terrible SSA.The SSA struggle is made even more difficult with the BPD/Schizophrenia.I hear things and sounds that nobody else hears,such as footsteps and voices calling out my name or trying to get me to say other things.Early this afternoon,I again gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals when sexual images of men clouded my mind,but again,I was fortunate that I stopped myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for sinning.While I did feel better after that,I am still working on trying to get tough with myself to stop this cycle of habitually sinning.I don't want to fall into a trap of sinning constantly against my Heavenly Father and keep asking for forgiveness for doing so.This is a trap that I am trying to avoid falling into and I know that at the moment,I am not doing a very good job of that.I really need to buckle down and start relying more on my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible and overwhelming urges.I am really serious about wanting to heal from this terrible SSA and I want to stop doing this unclean practice of genital manipulation while sexual images of men creep up into my mind.If anyone has any ideas and/or advice on how I can stop this particular practice,please share it in the comments section,especially if it is Holy Bible based.I am open to try anything to stop this unclean and impure practice.I am also again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.My log gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.A nice encouraging post in the comments section by a fellow blog follower would make my day.I need some positive verbal encouragement right now and prayers as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going out to do some shoveling of snow and to keep my car clean of snow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and as a result of the Winter Weather Advisory in effect for the area that I am living in,I didn't leave the house at all,except to simply go out and shovel the walk for the mail people and I also cleaned my car off of the snow that was on it.I also turned the engine on to warm it up for a few minutes as I don't want it to stall on me tomorrow morning when I leave the house to go to church.After I was done,I went back in the house and I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.I also watched another one after that was over.After that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a few holiday themed DVD's.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I fell again by giving into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men clouded my mind while doing so.I stopped myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I really need to start buckling down and getting tough with myself.I can't keep falling constantly.I have to stop myself as I feel that I am falling back into habitual sin by falling so much.I need to start praying to my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these urges.I also still need prayers from my fellow blog followers.I also need positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement and please continue praying for me.I need all the support that I can get.Please show me that I am not alone.I feel alone when nobody leaves me any encouraging comments.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement and also,please continue praying for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and afterwards,I watched a few holiday themed DVD's while waiting for my caseworker to show up.After the meeting with my caseworker,I shoveled the sidewalk for the mail people and cleaned the snow off of my car.It was snowing pretty heavily today and I just hung out at home watching a DVD or two.After the shoveling and the cleaning,I watched a couple more DVD's.After that,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's and relaxed.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.The SSA struggle can be very emotionally draining at times and can take away some much needed emotional energy.Today,as a result of me being home due to the heavy snowfall,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.I stopped myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I admitted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin as well.I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my Heavenly Father wiped the slate clean.I still need to continue working on getting tough with myself.I am still a work in progress and the best thing is that my Heavenly Father will never give up on me,but I can't abuse that in any way,shape or form.I have to avoid falling into the trap of habitually sinning and asking my Heavenly Father to forgive me for that.I see that anyone can fall into that trap,but I really want to avoid falling into that particular trap.Fellow blog followers and readers,if anyone or all of you has any ideas and/or advice so I can avoid that,please share.I need prayers,advice and continuous positive verbal support.Please pray for me.Please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.Please leave me anything that I can use so I can avoid falling into that particular trap of habitually sinning and asking for forgiveness.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I am just going to stay home and watch a few more holiday themed DVD's while at home.I might also do some more cleaning up in my old upstairs room so I can start sleeping in it again.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed out to my Thursday morning spirituality group and I took my time getting there as a result of the weather conditions,which were blowing and drifting snow,but I made it there.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was finished,I headed to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money at the Where's George site and did my personal PC work.After that,I headed out again to a Best Buy in the next county to pay a bill and after doing a little shopping there,I headed straight home,though it took a little bit of extra time as there was also blowing and drifting snow in the area where the Best Buy was,but I made it home safely.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I headed over to my usual Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,which was also a very wonderful meeting.I headed straight home after the meeting.
When I got home,I decided to get ready for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with the psychiatric double whammy of BPD/Schizophrenia and my daily struggles with SSA.I was tempted,though minimally,today to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men.Today,since I was out in the community,it wasn't a very big problem.I stayed busy and that took my mind off of the SSA.I was out and about today and that took my mind off of the negativity of the lustful and fantasy styled thoughts of men.I just stayed busy with what I had to do and I got through and that was good.I had no major upsets and that made me feel a little bit better.Still,I need prayers and positive verbal encouragement from my fellow blog followers.Please continue praying for me and please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these things each and every day.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both of things.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also show that I am not alone in this as I feel alone when nobody leaves me an encouraging word or two.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of meeting with my caseworker,I have nothing planned.Since there is a possibility of a Winter storm coming,I might stay home and take it easy and watch a DVD or two or more.I also might clean up some more in my old upstairs room.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I actually woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
The real big thing for me today was that I had an appointment with my therapist today.I headed over to the local hospital for the session.
The session was wonderful.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple more things.After paying for these things,I dropped a prescription off at the local drug store.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I also got a phone call about a hopeful job interview opportunity.I returned the call by leaving a message on their voice-mail and after that,I also called the priest that I am currently having sessions with and left a message on his voice-mail so we can schedule our next session.After that,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a holiday themed DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I relaxed and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with the psychiatric double whammy of BPD/Schizophrenia and my daily SSA struggles.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also never know how my struggles with SSA will be.Day after day,it gets more and more difficult.At times,I wish that I didn't have these struggles.This morning,while still in bed trying to get up,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals while sexual images of men clouded my mind and that motivated the temptation.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I did feel better after that.For the rest of the day,since I had a few things on my agenda,I was out and that took my mind off of these things.For the rest of the day,nothing entered my mind to inhibit any temptations.I stayed busy just seeing my therapist and getting some more grocery shopping done.I am still asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately.They both help keep me going and also,they show that I am not alone in this particular struggle.When nobody leaves me anything encouraging,I feel that I am alone.Please don't make me feel alone by leaving me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and my evening study group,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today, I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after relaxing for a while as a result of a terribly pounding sinus headache,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first dropped another job application off at a nursing facility in another area of the county where I live and after that,I carefully headed for home as a result of some blowing and drifting snow that was happening at that particular moment.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few canned vegetables.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the canned vegetables that I bought away and proceeded to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop in a holiday themed DVD and I relaxed while watching it.After that,I got the garbage ready for tomorrow morning and I also put some recyclables in the recycling bins that I have.I put them out on the curb for the garbage collectors to pick up tomorrow.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I must say that the stuff that I struggle with gets even more difficult by the day.My struggles with the psychiatric double whammy of BPD/Schizophrenia,alongside my struggles with SSA,which are made more difficult by the psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with at the same time.It never gets any easier.I am still in therapy for the psychiatric double whammy that I have and I am still taking my medication as directed for it.Still,my SSA struggles are made more difficult by that.I hear voices telling me to manipulate my genitals constantly at at times,I do give into that.I really need to buckle down and get tough on myself.I really need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever this/these particular thing(s)start to come around.Today,since I was out in the community,I didn't have any real problems with that.I simply kept my mind on the important things that I was doing and that took my mind off of these negative things.Still,with the Winter season fast approaching where I am living,I need to really stay on guard as since there is really nothing much to do in my home area during this time of the year,temptation can rear it's ugly head when I least expect it.Right now,I need to buckle down and get tough on myself.I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask for strength to help me fight and resist these urges as they come around.I need to ask for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I really need to start making a habit of that.I am still working on that and I am hoping to start making that a habit.I am also still going to need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get from my fellow blog followers out there.Please continue praying for me and please continue to leave some positive verbal comments in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately.I really do need both of these things.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my appointment with my therapist in the early afternoon,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
Since we were until an advisory in my area,I simply went out to pick up a few things that I needed.I first stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed to a local Dollar General store to buy some windshield washer fluid.After paying for that and filling up my windshield washer reservoir with the fluid,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a holiday DVD in and I watched it.I watched a few holiday cartoons since we are now in the Christmas season.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing with the psychiatric double whammy that I have,which is BPD/Schizophrenia.While that struggle is difficult in itself,my most difficult struggle is my struggle with SSA.This morning,I gave into temptation again by manipulating my genitals and yes,sexual images of men clouded my mind while I did that and I wound up ejaculating.After cleaning myself from doing that,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I was really sorry for giving into that temptation.The struggle with SSA is a very difficult one indeed.I never know when temptations will start coming at me.I hate that I struggle with this and I wish that I didn't have to.I hate that I find members of my own gender sexually attractive and I hate everything connected with that.The thing is that anything connected with Homosexuality,including the sexual activity associated with it,is sinful.I understand that it isn't a sin to be tempted and that the Homosexual condition,which is emotional in itself,isn't sinful.It is a sin to act out on the unnatural desires that are connected with SSA and the temptations to act out can be very overwhelming.I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my life and I really need to get tough on myself and start buckling down on this problem.I need to show these unnatural desires that I have that I am stronger than they are,that I own them and they don't own me.It takes a lot of hard work,but I am willing to do that.I am not going to give up as my Heavenly Father never gives up on me.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,I would really appreciate some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately.Please pray for me and please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day.
Today,I overslept and the only things that I had time for was a quick shower and a quick 2 cups of coffee.I got dressed up real quickly and I headed for church.I got there a little late for the Holy Bible study class,but I still got a lot out of it.despite that I missed the video segment that was watched and it was still wonderful.
The worship service was also wonderful.After some terrific fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things and after paying for those things,I headed to the nearby Big Lots and picked up something there.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I had my quick breakfast late,but still had it as I couldn't eat it earlier.After that,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,my head was pounding as a result of a sinus headache that I had and I took something for it.I laid down for a little over an hour and that helped me get rid of the headache.I got up and managed to catch the video segment that I missed this morning online and now,my day is complete.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against the psychiatric double whammy that I have and the difficult SSA struggles that I have,which are made more difficult by my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia.This afternoon,while trying to get a little nap as a result of my headache,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals while sexual images of men clouded my mind.I did manage to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him and as always,I asked him for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I did feel better after doing so and I had my nap to get rid of my headache and was glad that I felt better later on.Still,I need to get tough on myself in regards to this thing.I need to get to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges that I get that are connected with SSA and the struggle that I have with it.These urges can and do get very overwhelming.I really need to buckle down and go to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever these overwhelming urges come at me.These temptations are terrible and I really need to let these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I need to work on keeping them under control.The thing is that with me,I live alone since my mother died last year and I am having it pretty bad as a result of me living alone.Again,I need to get tough on myself and buckle down by going to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever these terrible urges come at me.I will continue working on that,but I still need prayers by my fellow blog followers.I also need some positive verbal encouragement from my fellow blog followers.I need both of these things desperately.I need these things to help me get by.They both help in a lot of ways as both prayer and positive verbal encouragement do have a lot of power and they work wonders as both are very powerful weapons that help in more ways than one.You never know how far prayers and positive verbal encouragement can go.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with a Winter Weather Advisory going into effect starting at 9:00pm and lasting until 11:00am tomorrow,I am thinking of just staying home and taking it easy and maybe continuing some more work in my old room upstairs.If the weather improves,which I doubt,I will go out to turn in another job application.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,since I overslept and it was too late to go to the Men's Network meeting,I simply went into my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had other things planned for today.
I first went to get my hair done and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few vital things and after that,I headed over to a local pizzeria for a few slices of pizza.After that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I ate the pizza slices as my late lunch.After that,I headed back upstairs to continue the cleaning process in my old room so I can use it to sleep up there once again.After nearly an hour,I headed back downstairs to do a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched some old TV reruns for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and the SSA struggles that I have.Today,I actually gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did indeed cloud my mind.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning.I asked for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I did feel better and I truly believed that I was forgiven.Since I live alone,I have no roommates living with me as a result of my limited income and having no job,though I am still working on searching for one.I wish that I could have a roommate so that I could have someone that I could relate,identify and connect with in a healthy and authentic Christian way.Until I do find a good job,I have to stay on my own and keep trying to work on making frequent prayer through the day a part of my life.It's bad enough that I struggle with the psychiatric double whammy that I have,which makes my SSA struggles even more difficult.I wish that I didn't have to deal with the psychiatric double whammy that I have and I always wish that the SSA that I have would go away.I am tired of having SSA and I wish that I could find a way that I could resolve this.I keep praying to my Heavenly Father to point me in the direction of relationships with other men that are healthy and authentic that can lead to close friendships,bonding and the best of all,healthy and authentic Christian styled connections.That is all that I yearn and ask for.I have been praying to my Heavenly Father to lead me in the right direction,but so far,these prayers haven't been answered.I keep asking myself "What am I doing wrong in this?"If anyone who follows my blog and reads my posts,please share with me your viewpoint on what I am doing wrong and I will correct it.I need these types of relationships so I can learn and try to fill in all the emptiness that I have because I do want to be a whole man and also,to feel like a whole man.I want to feel the way that a man is supposed to feel and again,that is all that I yearn and ask for.Again,please keep up your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these desperately.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed up in dress clothes to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first dropped off a couple of job applications and I also paid my electric bill.I also bought a few things at a local Dollar Tree store.After that,I headed to a nursing facility to pick up another job application,which I will fill out over the weekend and turn it in on Monday.After that,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed back into a sweatsuit and I did some personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and relax while watching it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,the struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia are still a part of my daily life.Still,I am currently in therapy and taking my medication as directed.I have an appointment with my therapist on the 11th next week.My struggles with SSA are also very difficult as I have to put up with constant temptations to indulge in sinful sexual activity with other men and also,the temptation to indulge in fantasies and lusting with other men,including to look at online porn and online pictures of men in the nude.Yes,I get tempted to look at these things all time and to indulge.At least,I have a choice whether I want to act out or not.I can now go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask him for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I ask him for this strength and I know that I get it because I don't feel the overwhelming urges anymore once I have prayed for that strength.Today,since I was out for much of the day,I didn't really have any problems.I stayed busy by pursuing jobs and by placing applications in at a couple of local businesses.I also stayed busy by shopping and just keeping my eyes on the road while driving.Still,I need prayers and positive verbal encouragement from all my fellow blog followers.Please continue praying for me and keep up saying positive encouraging words in the comments section.They help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of tomorrow's monthly Men's Network meeting and church on Sunday morning,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly to head over to my Thursday morning spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful and after that,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at my insurance agent's office to pay my car insurance bill.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and I did my personal PC work.I also listened to some music while doing so.After that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I got dressed again and I headed over to my usual Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,which also went wonderfully well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into bed clothes and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some more recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against the psychiatric double whammy of BPD/Schizophrenia and the terrible SSA struggle.The SSA struggle is difficult in itself,but the psychiatric double whammy that I have makes this particular struggle even more difficult.It is also difficult that I am trying to establish relationships with other men,but I am failing miserably.I keep asking myself "What am I doing wrong?" in regards to this and I can never get an answer.I know that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ are there to help me and that I should continue working on seeking the kingdom first and my Heavenly Father's righteousness,but I also need to have positive,healthy and authentic relationships with other men that lead to friendships,bonding and healthy authentic connections,but I am not getting anywhere in this endeavor.I want to be a whole man and also,the man that my Heavenly Father intends me to be.I do want to be whole and I want to feel like a man should feel.The thing is that I really don't know how a man is supposed to feel.I also don't know what it feels like to be a man.I was never taught these things and also,my father while I was growing up never educated me in this regard.When I was a boy,the only things that I got from my father was his legalism and his physical and emotional abuse of me.I also never heard my father tell me once that he loved me.He never said it nor did he ever show it.This is the main cause of my SSA issues.This is why I am trying to establish relationships with other men so I can start learning how to be a man and also,to feel the way that a man is supposed to feel.Right now.with my SSA struggles,I don't feel like a man at all.I feel only the opposite.I want to feel like a man and be the man the my Heavenly Father intended me to be and wants me to be.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these things desperately.I feel all alone here where I am at as I have nobody in my hometown to confide in.Please pray for me and also,please leave me something positive and encouraging to me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of continuing to put in more job applications,I have nothing else planned.But I do hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had quite a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to the post office to mail out a bill that needed to be paid and after that,I went to the public library to print something that I needed to print from my e-mail and after that,I went over to a nearby Salvation Army thrift store and I bought quite a few vinyl albums and after paying for them,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to buy a few things that I needed and after that,I paid another bill that needed to be paid and after that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and relaxed while watching it.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and the really difficult struggle with SSA.Today,since I was out in the community for much of the day,this took my mind off of these struggles.I stayed busy by simply going places and doing what I felt needed to be done.I simply decided to stay busy by going places and having a pretty good time being out and about in the community.It was great that I didn't have to worry about temptation coming at me today as I was out.Still,just because I escaped today doesn't mean that I will escape tomorrow.Tomorrow is another day and I still need and have to stay on guard against these terrible temptations.I am again asking for my fellow blog followers to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some words of positive encouragement.I really need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going in this fight and struggle.They also keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday spirituality and evening study groups,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ