Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty decent day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After showering,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work.I then went out and did a little thrift shop hopping and didn't buy very much.I then headed straight home after making a few stops along the way.
When I got home,I ate a light evening meal and did some more personal PC work.I also did a little bit of work within the house.Later on,as it was getting late,I prepared to retire for the evening.
I am still struggling terribly.The struggles that I have with SSA seem to get more complicated and tougher.Day in and day out,this particular struggle gets even more difficult.
I am still being tempted to fantasize and lust after other men.These temptations are really getting to me.I don't know whether I'm coming or going.I still feel like I'm trapped in the middle.I still don't know what to do,how to do it or how to handle this situation.
I've been appealing to the masses out there.I have been asking that you all encourage me.I also have been asking all of you to upbuild me spiritually by upbuilding me with scripture or saying that you're all praying for me.Yet,there haven't been any encouraging words.There has been nobody saying they're praying for me.I need prayers.I need spiritual upbuilding.I need encouragement.
These temptations are really overwhelming me.Please help me.All I need is some positive and encouraging words.I need to know that there are people out there praying for me and are behind me 100%.
Please pray for me.Please leave em some encouraging words and positive spiritual upbuidling in the comments section.Thanks.
I will be going to church tomorrow morning.Again,please keep me in your prayers and share some encouraging words and positive spiritual upbuilding in the comments section.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I went to work.After that,I headed straight home and ran a few errands.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light evening meal and did my personal PC work.I then retired for the evening.Overall,a very good day.
I am really being tempted tonight.I am tempted to fantasize and lust after other men.
I don't want to give into these terrible temptations.In itself,it's wrong to fantasize and lust about anything or anyone.I don't want to fall anymore.
Fellow blog followers and readers,I am asking that you keep praying for me.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.It can be encouragement or scriptural upbuilding.Thanks for your continued support and Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
This weekend will be simply a taking it easy weekend for me,with church as usual on Sunday.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,my work day went well.It wasn't too bad.I had to do two things that were off the schedule today,but I managed to get everything that needed to get done accomplished.I later headed straight home and after that,I went to the post office for a money order.I then went to a local supermarket to get something to drink.I drove a little,but stopped at a local church for a free dinner.I headed straight home and after a little relaxation,showered and did a little bit of cleaning work around the house and did my personal PC work.I later retired for the evening.A very good day overall.
Today,while at work,I really had feelings of guilt all over myself.It was for all the the temptations of fantasizing and lust that I gave into over time.I really felt terrible and guilty for what I did.
While I had a few minutes,I went into the men's restroom and prayed.I prayed and tried to be as quiet as possible.I admitted to my Heavenly Father everything I did wrong,from fantasizing and lusting after other men,to manipulating my genitals,to masturbating to these images and asking to be forgiven.I left nothing out.I threw everything on the sovereign Lord and creator of all things.I asked for forgiveness and pleaded for mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I was also starting to get teary eyed as I dis this.Afterwards,I felt better,but still felt a little depressed over the whole thing.I get hit with spells of the blues when least expected and I simply go with the flow and simply wait for it to pass.
Still,I need support from all of you.Please continued praying for me.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your support.Please do so as I would appreciate that.Thanks.
Tomorrow is another work day and after that, the weekend.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues,but today,I hit a snag.The day,though,was very good.
The work day went well and I had a new tire put on my car.I headed for home after that.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and had a light evening meal.I then later prepared to retire for the evening.Overall,a very good day.
I am really not feeling well emotionally right now.Earlier today,I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men and yes,I did masturbate to these images.I also imagined myself in sinful sexual activity with them.
I am feeling depressed and regretful.I hated giving into these terrible temptations and I feel terrible about doing so.This is being a very heavy crushing weight on me.I don't want to give into these terrible temptations anymore,but I keep doing so.
I keep asking myself "What's wrong with me?".Why can't I stop fantasizing and lusting after other men.I am fully aware that the sexual activity of Homosexuality,alongside anything connected with it,is condemned by our Heavenly Father in his sacred word,the Holy Bible,but I keep fantasizing and lusting.I always feel lousy afterwards when I give in,which today is no exception.I still don't know whether I'm coming or going.I also feel trapped and stuck in the middle.I don't know what's wrong with me.I really want to stop,but I feel that I don't know how.
If anyone can help,please do so.I need some encouragement.I need some spiritual upbuilding.Please let me know that you're all out there reading.I want to to break free from this terrible trap.Yes,I really do.Please help me.Please.Please leave me some encouragement in the comments section.Please continue praying for me.Thanks to y'all and Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is another work day and I hope all goes well.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
The work day went a little bit better than it did yesterday.I managed to do what I had to do and had a little fun.The only good thing is that I got everything I needed to get done accomplished.
After it was over,I headed straight home and relaxed for a while.I did my personal PC work and did a little bit of errand running and then,retired for the evening.A very good day overall.
However,I am still trapped within the vicious SSA cycle.I have been tempted left and right and I feel trapped in the middle.
I am also tired of hearing so much about how the media is making Homosexuality look right and normal,which it isn't.This is only adding to my struggles and making them practically unbearable.These unnatural desires that I have are really getting me down and the temptations are getting worse by the day.I don't know what else to say or to do.
I don't want to give into these terrible things anymore.I want to stop giving into these things.All I have been thinking of is sex and more sex with other men.I just can't seem to get it off of my mind.I want to stop thinking of these things.
If anyone can help me,please do so.I need words of encouragement.I need prayers.Please pray for me.Please leave me some words of encouragement in the comments section.These encouraging words can be scriptural upbuilding.They also can be someone saying that they are praying for me.They also can be where I can find face to face help.They also can be ideas of how I can let go of unresolved anger,emotional and trauma issues.Please pray for me.Please leave me some encouraging words.Thanks for them in advance.
Tomorrow is simply another work day and I am hoping that it goes well.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I have a very good day today.
I went to work today and the work day,though hectic,went well.I headed for home after that and relaxed for much of the rest of the afternoon.I had a light evening meal and prepared to retire for the evening.Overall,a very good day.
However,I am still struggling with this terrible SSA.I have been falling short a lot.Today,I fell short again.I gave into temptations to fantasize and lust after other men in the afternoon.I really felt terrible about giving into this terrible temptations.I also felt lousy and was mad at myself as a result of that.
I am still wanting to heal from this terrible SSA struggle that I have.I want to heal.I want to be a whole person.As a result of this terrible SSA struggle and condition,I don't feel like a whole person.I feel less than whole.I don't want to feel this way anymore.I want to feel whole.I want to feel like what I am,which is a man.
This struggle gets worse by the day.It keeps getting worse and worse.I want to pursue healing,but don't know where to turn or go.There aren't many programs or things for people like me in my hometown.
Fellow blog followers and readers,I need prayers.Please pray for me.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need some spiritual help in the forms of encouragement and positive upbuilding,but nobody wants to say anything.Please support me verbally by posting some encouragement and upbuilding in the comments section.I would really appreciate that.Thanks to all of you and also,Thanks to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is another work day and I hope that all goes well.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
I went to church this morning as I usually do.The morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards were both wonderful.I relaxed for much of the day and did my personal PC work.I also ran a few errands that I needed to run.I ate a light meal and did a little bit more personal PC work.I also did some recommended Holy Bible reading.I later retired and overall,it was a wonderful and eventful day.
However,my struggles are still the way that they have been.I am still enduring temptations to fantasize and lust after other men.These temptations strike when least expected for me.This struggle with SSA is getting even more difficult by the day.At times,I really don't know if I'm coming or going.I also feel like I'm stuck in the middle between the false identity(i.e."Homosexual/Gay")and the one true identity(i.e.Heterosexual/Straight").I know that the creator created male and female.I truly and totally believe all that.The thing is that many are pushing the agenda for the false identity and it stinks.
This is making my personal struggle with SSA that more difficult.I'm still craving sexual things with other men.I know and understand that it's wrong and unacceptable to the sovereign Lord and creator of all things to have sexual activity with another of the same gender,but I keep getting tempted to fantasize and lust repeatedly.I don't want to fantasize and lust after other men.I want to look at my fellow men as brothers in a Christian way.
I keep pleading for all of you to pray for me.I also keep pleading with you to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.All I need is some positive encouragement along with spiritual upbuilding.My struggles with Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia make this SSA struggle that I have even more difficult.My mood changes and hearing things that are not there contribute to this personal struggle that I have with SSA.
Again,please pray for me continually and please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks for your support and above all;Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is the start of a new work week and I hope that all goes well.FJ