Saturday, January 12, 2013

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day.or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and when the erection fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out throughout the day as temptation came at me left and right.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist all temptations that came at me.I really had to throw all of these temptations onto God and asked him in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist all of these temptations and I felt better after doing that.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts as I still really need prayers.I am also asking that everyone who follows my blog to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments sections.Both of your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do to help me in this fight against this terrible SSA.
Tomorrow,I have church,including the morning's Holy Bible study class,as usual.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Friday, January 11, 2013

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues going onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had much planned for today.
After getting some gas at a local gas station,I headed over to a local hair place to get my hair cut and after that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to do some much needed grocery shopping.After that was done,I headed over to another local supermarket to pick up a few things that the local Super Wal-Mart didn't sell and also,something that I forgot to pick up there.After that was done,I headed over to the nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up one more thing.After that was all done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and awaited my ex brother in law to come over and help me fix the toilet,where the flusher knob broke from the mechanism.After he left,I heated up a can of soup for dinner and a couple slices of Texas garlic toast.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues going onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened at two separate intervals by throbbing erections.I tossed and turned on both of these and they softened.Though I escaped this double whammy,I had to stay on guard all day as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can come at me at all sides when least expected.I really have to stay on guard and be watchful.I did keep busy all day by getting out and doing what I had to do,I still got tempted throughout the day and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I also kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever temptation reared it's ugly head.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in the fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Spirituality group and it was a wonderful meeting.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating,I headed over to the local K-Mart and picked up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweat suit and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues unabated,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions change by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I never know how they will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again fell when I masturbated in the wee early morning hours.I really felt devastated after this fall.This was the second consecutive fall this week.I really had to ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I also begged for God to show me his mercy as this was my second consecutive fall this week.I did feel better,but I now know that I have to work on staying strong and continue to fight and resist all urges that come at me.Throughout the day,I was tempted again and again,but I stayed strong by asking God in prayer,in the name of his son Christ Jesus,to give me the strength too fight and resist all urges that came at me.It wasn't easy,but I did all of that today.I am going to have to make it a habit again to start regularly praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong in the face of these terrible SSA temptations.I am also continuing to ask that everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome it.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better and my rocky road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had a bowl of hot oatmeal for breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After having a talk with my case worker,who came to the house,I was hoping to head out to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things,but something of a personal nature came up and I stayed home instead.I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.I can always go to the local K-Mart tomorrow on the way home from group.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
I am feeling much better at the moment.Much of my painful symptoms are starting to fade and my stomach feels much better.It was a very painful experience that I had when I was battling that terrible "stomach flu" and putting up with the pain and all the other stuff associated with this terrible illness.I am just hoping that I don't have to go through it all again.It was an awful and painful experience and I am glad that I am feeling much better.I should be back to where I should and want to be in the next few days.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Christ Jesus more whenever this struggles seems to be getting out of control for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated to sexual images of men.I really felt lousy after that and I asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.The root cause of this fall was all the emotional stress that I went through over the last few days.I had no home phone nor internet for three days and coupled with the complications caused by that terrible "stomach flu" that I went through caused me to fall and give into those terrible temptations.I really need to start all over again in working hard to resist all temptations that come at me.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and also,that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and the usual lunch at the local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better,but still battling some minor pains.Thankfully,they are not that bad.
When I got up this morning,though it was a little late in the morning,I showered and had my breakfast and coffee and after that was done,I did my personal PC work.
I did manage to get out today.I had to stop at the bank to pay a bill there and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things there.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after spending some time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,it was late and I had a light dinner.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work and I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
Though I am feeling a little bit better,I am still not where I should be.I am still feeling some minor pains in my legs and lower back and I am still feeling some queasiness in my stomach.My stomach is trying to heal itself from the pains of the weekend and I am still feeling the effects of all the symptoms of what many people call "stomach flu",although it really isn't a "flu" in the true sense.I am still feeling some queasiness and as a result of my stomach trying to heal from this,though I don't want to gross anyone out,I have been blowing rectal gas like crazy.I am still hoping that I will be where I should be soon as I am really at the point where I am tired of feeling sick.I know that I am only human and that it can't be helped,but I just want to be over this terrible problem soon so I can be back to myself again and hopefully,where I should be physically.
Though I promised to keep all of you updated on both my BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA struggles starting again today,I am still really not up to that as I am still feeling the effects of this terrible ailment that I am going through right now.I will start updating all of you on these things when able.
Please continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I would really appreciate the prayers and the words of encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for both your prayers and encouragement.FJ

Monday, January 07, 2013

Tonight,I am back online.
I was offline for much of the weekend as a result of my ISP terminating my service as a result of me switching phone companies in hopes of saving money on my phone bill.It all turned out to be nothing more than a bunch of hassles and overstress that wasn't even worth all the time and energy.
I had a really rough weekend.I was hoping to go to my monthly Men's Network meeting on Saturday,but wound up getting terribly sick.I had really terrible stomach pains and I also had pains in my lower back and legs.I also had minor headaches and I also had the runs for much of the weekend,with being drowsy all at the same time.I decided to stay home and rest so I could get rid of what was ailing me.It continued onward into Sunday morning and I stayed home from church to continue resting.I was still feeling pains and also,the drowsiness remained.I did hear from one of my fellow worshipers last night and also heard from the pastor this morning.I told them everything that was wrong and they both wished me well.After that,my niece dropped off some food and I headed out to do some important stuff that needed to get done.
While out,I had a quick lunch at a local McDonald's and I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store to look around.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided too do some catching up on my personal PC work and also,I tried to catch up on some much needed Holy Bible reading as well.
Today,while still feeling some pain,I did manage to get some stuff done that needed to get done and I am feeling better.I am hoping to be 100% solid before the week is through.I also managed to eat something solid and I didn't vomit or anything.
I will start sharing where I am and how I am still dealing with BPD/Schizophrenia and my struggles with SSA tomorrow.
I just thought that would check in to share with y'all how I am and how the weekend was.I am still asking that all of you continue praying for me.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers.I also ask that y'all also leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of your for your kind and encouraging words.FJ