Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to the church to help out in some landscaping and general repairs on the property.After a few hours of doing some work,I headed for home.There are still some things that need to be done,but we decided to get that done another day.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and had a light lunch.After that,I relaxed and decided to pop a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery to move forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply put this particular struggle in the hands of my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This just shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and I do feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and walk.This actually made the erection soften and I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.I kept busy today bu doing the volunteer work at the church and having some terrific fellowship with the men who were helping alongside.It was great and it took my mind off of everything sexual and that was great.Even after I came home,I still didn't have anything sexual come into my mind as I kept my mind on other things and this helped to keep my mind clean and clear.Though I got through this day,there is still tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up praying for me as I am going through this struggle with SSA and also,I would appreciate it that all of you please leave a positive word of encouragement for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors,but comments of any kind are rare.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey's to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have church as usual and I have been invited over to someone's place to hang out with them for a while.After that is all over,I just might take it easy for the rest of the day.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed for a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply put this particular struggle in the hands of my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help me in my endurance when it comes to coping with the symptoms of both these particular psychiatric disabilities.With God and Christ leading the way,it makes it a tad easier.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last long.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I didn't go back to sleep until the erection had completely died down as I wasn't about to give into that particular temptation.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but I chose to stay busy and try to keep my mind off of anything sexual,including the negative sexual images of men that try to take over my mind.Though it wasn't easy,I managed to stay busy by just doing what I had to do and also,to do whatever it would take to take my mind off of anything having to with the unnatural sexual practices that are connected with the so called "Homosexual/Gay" lifestyle.I always have to keep in mind that God never intended sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world around is using and abusing it.It is never easy to keep your mind on other things that are holy and productive,but with the help of both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ,it can be done.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep me in your prayers as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really could use some encouraging words right now.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle against this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my journey to overcome and heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of volunteering to help with landscaping at the church,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do after that gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things on my agenda and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.I also met someone that I knew there who was hanging out there and we made plans to get together later.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,my friend and I headed over to the local kitchen to have lunch and after we were finished,I dropped him off at home and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work and I eagerly awaited the arrival of my caseworker who has now returned from her maternity leave.
After the meeting with my caseworker,which went pretty good,I called my friend and I headed over to his place to hang out and talk with him for a while.
After everything was over at my friends house,I headed straight home as I took my medication while I was there and I wanted to be home when it kicked in so I wouldn't drive home drowsy.
When I got home,I simply changed into some night clothes and finished the day with some recommended Holy Bible reading.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one/minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to God and ask him in his son Christ Jesus' name to get me through all of the difficulties and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my fight and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was also a throbbing erection at that.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection start to soften and I also got up and walked for a bit afterwards.After my genitals were fully softened,I went right back to bed and to sleep.I really wasn't tempted in any other way today as I kept busy with other things.I was out of the house for much of the day as I went to my group,lunch,had a good meeting with my caseworker and spent some time with a friend.I simply kept my mind on other positive things and the unnatural desires that I have didn't pose any problem today.Though this was so as far as today went,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep me in your prayers,as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please keep me in your prayers and when you visit,don't be afraid nor shy to leave a positive word or two of encouragement.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and they also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.Since the weather was windy,I stayed home much of the day and worked on catching up on things that needed to be done.I only went out to one place and that was to a local Salvation Army thrift store to check out their stock of hats and I really didn't find any one hat that interested me.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply began picking up where I left off when doing some necessary work that needed to get done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am always on an up and down ride when it comes to my emotions and/or moods.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,Temptation tried to get the better of me in the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I started to get up out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften and after I walked around for a while,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation at two separate intervals of the day when I gave in to manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.The first was when I was still in bed trying to get up when the alarm went off and the other time was when I had finally gotten up and the images of men started to cloud my mind again.It seems that these negative sexual images of men are starting to really try to overtake and envelope me in a lot of ways.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into these temptations.I did feel better after that as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that my sins were forgotten by God and his son Jesus Christ.I tried throughout the day to keep my mind focused on other positive things to try and get anything having to do with sex off of my mind,though admittedly,it isn't an easy thing to do.I went out to do a little shopping and also,I worked around the house to clean up here and there.I did what I felt that I had to do to try and get sex off of my mind.I also kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept asking him for the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.Though I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional time that I am going through.Please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional times.I would also appreciate some very encouraging words in the comments section as well.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle because I really want to heal from this terrible SSA and everything connected with it.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and also,an appointment with my caseworker.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I did try to get a few things done.
I first went to a local kitchen for lunch and after having lunch,I dropped off some free newspapers at a few people's places and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few important things and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that they are there to help me and that is great and also,makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I am going to be very blunt and honest here in regards to this.I again fell early this morning by masturbating to images of men clouding my mind.This was the second consecutive fall that I had this week.I really felt miserable when this happened and really felt terrible afterwards.After getting up and washing my hands,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and sinning against him.I also begged for God to show me his mercy as I was truly sorry for falling and sinning against him.After the prayer I felt better.I was tempted again throughout the day and I didn't want to fall again.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.I didn't want to sin again against him.I kept it up and everything.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please don't be shy and say a few encouraging words in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but rarely is a comment of any sorts left.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda today.
I first went to a local supermarket to pay my electric bill and after that,I headed over to the local hospital as I had an appointment with therapist today.
The session with my therapist went well and after that was over,I headed for home
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation really early this morning when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable and after washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for weakening and falling into sin.I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my sins are forgotten by God and Christ once forgiven.Throughout the rest of the day,I was being tempted to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have and at times,the temptations can get very overwhelming.I didn't want to fall again,so I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I kept asking God to give me the strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me from all sides.It is a difficult life that we who struggle with SSA live and at times,the struggle can get pretty intense.Lately,it has been getting very intense with me as these terrible temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have have really been coming at me.I am really having a difficult time and it isn't pretty.I am really in desperate need for prayers.To those of you who repeatedly visit my blog and read my posts,please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I would really appreciate that.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle.They also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA that I struggle with and also,motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to see if they had anything that I was looking for,which they didn't.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.After that,I headed back out to see the new Oz movie;Oz:The Great and Powerful,which I really enjoyed immensely as,IMHO,the film was better than I thought it was going to be.After the movie was over,I headed over to a local bargain outlet store to look around,but couldn't find anything that I was looking for.After that,I headed to a Super Wal-Mart in another area of the county that I lived.I went there to see of they had any footwear in my size,but I did buy a new pair that did fit.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got into the house quickly as I saw storm clouds in the air and I managed to make it home just in time as it did storm some.I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful and also,seeing a wonderful movie today to boot.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,which didn't last very long.I had to get up and use the bathroom anyway when this happens,so I headed for the bathroom,did what I had to do and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to sleep after getting back in bed.For the rest of the day,I wasn't really tempted to indulge in any fantasies,lusting and genital manipulation to them as I kept busy through the rest of the day.I kept my mind occupied with things,such as going to the movies and doing a little bit of window and bought a pair of new walking shoes.I kept busy and the unwanted and the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA didn't hamper me today.While today was great,there is still tomorrow and the temptations can come back the next day.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continue to follow my blog and read that posts.I am also asking for all of you to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of seeing my therapist,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ