Tonight is New Year's Eve.In just under five hours,we will be ringing in another year.It will be 2007 very soon.I can hardly wait for the new year to start.In under five hours,it will begin.I will be doing my typical entertaining on New Year's.I will be celebrating with my friends and singing up a storm for them.I know that it will be a fun night.I always have fun singing on New Year's Eve and helping to ring in the new year with everyone.It is always a BLAST.Yes it is.
The Buffalo Sabres defeated the Atlanta Thrashers last night 4-1.It was truly a great game and a great way to ring in the new year with a big bang.With this win,Lindy Ruff is going to be coaching the All-Star team when the All-Star break comes.That is really AWESOME.I hope that Lindy Ruff does a great job in coaching that team.
I am looking forward to the new year and I am looking forward to the party tonight when I am going to be singing.It will be a fun night.Yes it will.
Well,I hope that everybody has a Happy New Year.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay and with a little optimism.I am going to be singing for my friends tonight and I am hoping that all does go well.Though I rarely have an off night,there nothing wrong with hoping for things to go well.I have a feeling that it will be a wonderful night and I am looking forward to it with a lot of enthusiasm and optimism.Again,I hope that all goes well.
Today,was a very good day.I went out to have my hair cut and I also had to forward a package to someone in New York state and I am hoping that the package that I am expecting gets here on Wednesday.The post office will be closed to pay tribute to the recently deceased former vice president/president Gerald R.Ford.All other government agencies will also be closed as well.I will be looking forwrad to receiving it on Wednesday.I also have to mail a check out for a bill that is due on Friday.I will send it Priority Mail.
Tomorrow is New Year's Eve.I am looking forward to that with a lot of enthusiasm.I will be entertaining the crowds tonight and tomorrow.I can hardly wait.
Tonight,the Sabres are playing the Atlanta Thrashers and they are leading 1-0.I hope for another win.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.Today went by as any other day.I went to work and it went as well as expected.Nothing negative happened to talk about.It was a pretty good day.Since I have been paying more attention to my work and spending less time at that so called social club,I have been feeling better about myself and I feel that I have been managing my emotions better.It is a good feeling when you feel that you are accomplishing something.Yes it is.I am hoping for better things to come.
I am glad that the weekend is finally here.It is the New Year holiday weekend and I am looking forward to it.I will be entertainingthe crowds for two straight nights.It will be a blast.I know it will be.I love to entertain during the New Year holiday time.It is great to ring in the new year and sing up a storm.Yes it is.I can hardly wait for that.
The Sabres also won last night.They defeated the Carolina Hurricanes by a score of 4-1.
Well that was my day and my anticipation.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.It was a typical work day.Nothing negative happened and that is good.It just went on as it did and I feel pretty well about it.Since I reduced the time I spend at a special social club for other emotionally/mentally challenged individulas,I have been doing good in keeping my emotions under control and learning that spending too much time with other people who have emotional problems,who at times can be ignorant,is just not healthy.I am trying to better myself and trying to succeed and spending too much time with others who do not want to take the time to better themselves and try to get out of the emotional ruts that they are in.I have seen that this is the order of the day with those individuals and I now realize that I will never grow or even improve if I keep hanging around those people all the time.So,I only spend an hour in the morning and the rest of the day,I pay more attention to my job and doing it.I feel that I am improving now and that gives me a good feeling about myself.Now,I look forward to doing better and getting more improvement in my emotional state and seeking out more opportunities.I feel pretty good and that is better than nothing.
At the moment,I am listening to the Buffalo Sabres game and they are leading 3-0 after two periods.There was no scoring in the first period and the scoring started in the second courtesy of Jason Pominville,Chris(The Goose)Drury and Thomas Vanek.They are giving the Carolina Hurricanes the run for the puck.It's hard to believe that the Carolina Hurricanes eliminated the Buffalo Sabres from the playoffs last season.Since this season began,the Sabres have owned the Hurricanes.I hope that the Sabres continue playing tonight like they are.I hope that they win another game.That would be totally neat.
Tomorrow is another work day.Then the long holiday weekend.I am looking forward to that.Yes I am.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling good.It was another wonderful group meeting that I had tonight.It was terrific to let off some more steam and share what went on during the holiday and the work day.It was great.I am now feeling a connection to these guys and that is awesome.Yes it is.I am feeling better than I have been feeling in a long time.Again,I feel that I am finally accomplishing something.Yes I am.That is a wonderful feeling.
The Buffalo Sabres kicked ass last night by beating the Washington Capitols 6-3 on home ice.That was an awesome game.It was great that the Sabres avenged their loss over the Capitals a few weeks ago.Their next game is tomorrow night where they will be playing the Carolina Hurricanes on home ice.I am hoping for yet another Buffalo Sabres victory.That would be totally sweet.Yes it would.
Tomorrow is yet another work day for me.I am hoping that the day goes well for me.Though I have not had any bad days in a while,I still hope for it to go well.It if does,I will feel better.If not,then OH WELL!You Can't Win Them All.
That was my night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.Today was back to work day and the work day worked out the way I had hoped that it would.I simply did my job and after I was finished,I went home and relaxed.It was not too bad of a day.The weather was cold and it was a bit snowy with nothing accumilated.But still,it was not too bad of a day.I am now paying more attention to my work and I am feeling that I am finally accomplishing something.
Tomorrow,it is a pick up day.I can just pick up the laundry,drop it off at work and go home.Tomorrow is another night with my group and I am hoping that the meeting goes well.Though the groups are going good,I always hope for it to go well.Yes I do.There is nothing wrong with hoping for something to go well.At the moment,the Sabres are playing the Washington Capitals at home and are leading 6-1 after 1 period.WOW!If they keep playing good tonight,they can avenge the 7-4 loss from a few weeks ago.I am hoping that they win tonight.A win tonight would be sweet.
Well,that was my day.FJ

Merry Christmas Everybody!
It was a wonderful day for me today.I spent the day at my sister's house and it was a wonderful time.Yes it was.I got a couple of Buffalo Sabres shirts and that was awesome.I also got the usual stuff and that also was great.We had a wonderful traditional Christmas dinner and a little dessert.We also had a nice talk about life and how it was going.It was truly wonderful.My neice and her children were also there as well.We actually forgot about my neice's marital problems although her about to be ex-husband was brought up in conversation by my sister but we did not let it spoil the mood.Again,it was truly a wonderful day.
The holiday is almost over.I am now at home and I am feeling tired from all the festivities.But still,it was a wonderful day and that was great.Tomorrow is yet another work day.It's life.After a holiday or two,we always have to return to our lives and deal with the rest of the week.But I am hoping that the rest of the week goes by well.It that goes well,then it will be a great week.Of course,the New Year holiday weekend is coming up and I am looking forward to that.I hope that the party will be a blast.
I hope thet everybody had a Merry Christamas today and I hope that everybody's week works out well.FJ

Merry Christmas Everybody!
I hope that everybody's holiday was nice.It was a wonderful day for me today.I spent most of the day at my sister's house and it was nice.We had our dinner and dessert and we also had a nice talk.My neice and my grand neices and grand nephew were all there.I did get a couple of great Buffalo Sabres shirts and that was awesome.I also got the usual stuff and that too was also great.It was a very good day and we all had a great time.For that one day,we forgot all about the problems in the family especially my niece's marital troubles.Even though my niece's about to be ex-husband was brought up in conversation tonight by my sister,it did not spoil the mood and that was good.
The holiday is almost over.I am now at home and I am feeling a bit tired from all the festivities today.Tomorrow is yet another work day.It's life.After a holiday or two,we have to go back to our lives and I am looking forward to working.I hope that the rest of the week goes by well enough.
Again,I hope that everybody in here had a very Merry Christmas.Peace to all of you out there.Let's hope that the rest of the week goes by well.FJ

Tonight,I am anticipating the holiday.It is almost here.Yes it is.I am eagerly awaiting it.I am hoping that everything works out the way it should.I am only hoping because of all the negative stuff that has happened within my family during this past year.So,I am hoping that the holiday works out well.
Last night,I had an awesome time at the Christmas party.I sang "Weird Al" Yankovic's Christmas At Ground Zero and it got a rousingly loud round of applause.That was great to finally do that song.I also sang a couple more holiday songs before ending with a non-holiday song and wishing everybody a very Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year.It was an awesome night.They had non-stop pepperoni pizza and I ate quite a bit of it.I am hoping that the party on New Years is also awesome.I will be entertaining the crowds on that night as well as on the preceding Saturday night.It will be a pretty busy time for me but I am looking forward to it.Yes I am.I enjoy what I do.Yes I do.
I wish everybody a very Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good and with a lot of great optimism.Tonight is the Christmas party at the place where I sing and I am looking forward to it.I am bringing with me that karaoke Christmas CD and I am hoping to do that song Christmas At Ground Zero by "Weird Al" Yankovic and I hope that it goes well.I have always wanted to try out that song but never had the chance due to it's not being in the book.But now,I am going to do it and I hope that it goes well.Again,I rarely have an off night but I still always hope for things to go well.Again,I am looking forward to tonight and I am hoping that it goes well.I feel that it will be a grand night for singing.It will also be a grand night for partying up a storm.Yes Indeed.
Tomorrow will be Christmas Eve.I am eagerly awaiting it.Monday will be the holiday and I hope that the holiday goes by without anything negative happening.I do feel that nothing will happen but I still hope.
Well that is my note for tonight.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.The work day went pretty well.Nothing negative to write about with the exception of what had happened in the lunch line today when an inconsiderate person gave me an attitude when I could not let him by due to the longevity of the line.That is why I am feeling mixed emotions.The day started out promising and it was for a while but than this happened.I was feeling at edge for the rest of the day after that had happened.But I am feeling hopeful that the holiday weekend will turnn out pretty good.I can not believe that the Christmas holiday is almost here.The time goes by so fast.It's like nothing ever happened.But the holiday is almost here and I am hoping for it to go good.
Tomorrow,my mom and I will be doing some last minute grocery shopping for the holiday and even I have to get some things accomplished.I will be checking up on a friend tomorrow to see how he's doing and I am hoping that he is doing good.
When I got home today,I received a Christmas card from the people at work.That was wonderful.That actually made the whold day prettty good.Not only that,last night,the Buffalo Sabres clobbered the Nashville Predators by a score of 7-2.That was also a wonderful thing.It's kind of like an early Christmas present for the fans.A win by the Buffalo Sabres.Totally sweet.
Well,that was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.It was not too bad of a day today.The work day went by pretty well.Nothing really negative to write about.I am anticipating the weekend right now.I am going to be singing at the Christmas party Saturday night.I will be bringing with me that new karaoke CD that I purchased online and I can hardly wait to sing Christmas At Ground Zero by "Weird Al" Yankovic.I have been meaning to try out that song for a long time.I hope that it works out pretty good.I am also hoping to sing a few more holiday songs that night.I hope that the night goes well.
Right now,I am listening to the hockey game.The Buffalo Sabres are leading the Nashville Predators 3-1 in the second period and they are doing great.I am hoping that their losing streak comes to an end tonight.A win before the Christmas holiday comes would be truly neat.I am hoping for that.
The holiday shopping is finally done.I do not have to do any more with the exception of a little bit more grocery shopping tomorrow.The holiday is almost here.I hope that it goes great.
That is all for now.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling really good.I had a wonderful group meeting tonight.I got to share a little bit more about myself and that was great.It is great to be a part of a group of men and not have to worry about being silenced,emasculated and judged.Truly wonderful.Despite a negative circumstance that happened after the group tonight involving a woman who screamed at me for no particular reason,I did not get angry or upset with her.When I pulled into a small donut shop,I had a talk with a man who witnessed the whole thing and he simply advised me to just brush it off and forget it.I did not do what she tried to accuse me of.It was a relief that nothing really happened except that a lady got mad at me who possibly had a bad night and wanted to take it out on somebody.Oh well.Things happen.
Tomorrow is yet another work day for me.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.Yesterday went by great and I am hoping that the next two days go well.The holiday is Monday and I am hoping for at least two wonderful days of work before the holiday happens.I am also eagerly anticipating the Christmas party at the cafe.I got a new karaoke CD with a Christmas song that I had always wanted to try out.I hope that the party goes well.
By the way,my meting with my Sexual Abuse support counselor went by terrifically and that was also wonderful.My next meeting will be in the new year.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling good.Tonight is a cold night and I am feeling pretty good.Today,I got a lot accomplished.I went to work today and that went by smoothly.Tomorrow is a pick up day and I hope that this works out well.I also have an appointment with my Sexual Abuse support counselor tomorrow afternoon and I also have my support group meeting at the church tomorrow night.I am hoping that both go well.Though I rarely have a bad day and night with both,I still hope for everything to go well.You never know.But again,I got a lot accomplished.That gives me a good feeling.
Last night,my mother did some more holiday shopping and that was pretty good.She picked up a lot for the family and I am hoping for the family to be pleased with what they are about to receive.I am hoping for the holiday to go well too.Yesterday,my dental appointment was cancelled and I had to reschedule.It was a nice day yesterday and I did watch Elmo Saves Christmas during the early afternoon while I was having dinner.Elmo Saves Christmas teaches us a valuable lesson about why we have the holiday once a year and the negative effects it would have if it were every day when Elmo wished for it to be every day,It was a funny,musical and wonderful holiday DVD.Tomorrow or Thursday,I am hoping to watch Happy Holidays with Elmo.I hope that this is as wonderful as Elmo Saves Chrsitmas and Christmas Eve On Sesame Street.
Again,I hope all goes well tomorrow afternoon and night.I even mailed out some Christmas Cards today. I will be mailing out some tomorrow.
That was the past two days.Thoughts are welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.It was a somewhat eventful day.I checked in on a friend today and he's doing good.I also bought another holiday DVD set.This time,I bought the Sesame Street holiday DVD set with the classic Christmas Eve On Sesame Street that featured Mr.Hooper.The actor who portrayed Mr.Hooper,Will Lee,died in 1982 and PBS never showed that classic holiday themed special ever again.It was great to see that again after over 20 years of not seeing it.That was the only real highlight of the day.The rest of the day was boring.There was really nothing to do at all except watch TV.I did have a talk with my friend from New Jersey and that was a great conversation.I enjoyed it immensely.When tomorrow comes,there will only be one week to the holiday.I am hoping that the holiday goes well.It will be at my sister's house and even though I am not in the mood to celebrate,I am just going to go with it and hope for the best.Again,I hope that it goes well.
Tomorrow is yet another appointment.I have an appointment with the dentist to refill one of my lower teeth.It will be painful and I am going to be tired after it's done.I am anticipating that.
Well that is how my day went.I am glad that it's almost over.I will be getting some sleep.I will be checking in tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling good.It was truly a wonderful day for me.My mother got some shopping done.We had a nice dinner and we watched one of my new holiday DVD's.It was truly wonderful.A lot got done today and that was good.It is great to get everything you want to get done as said,done.Again,it was truly a wonderful day.
Though I am feeling good,I am a little disappointed.The Buffalo Sabres lost to the Ottawa Senators tonight 3-1.Their next game is against the Montreal Canadians on Tuesday night in Buffalo.I hope that they can beat them.That would be totally cool.
Tonight,I will be going out to sing for my friends and I am hoping that it goes well.I rarely if ever have an off night singing but it does not hurt to hope.Again,I hope that my night goes well.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling good.It was truly a wonderful day for me.My mother got some shopping done.We had a nice dinner and we watched one of my new holiday DVD's.It was truly wonderful.A lot got done today and that was good.It is great to get everything you want to get done as said,done.Again,it was truly a wonderful day.
Though I am feeling good,I am a little disappointed.The Buffalo Sabres lost to the Ottawa Senators tonight 3-1.Their next game is against the Montreal Canadians on Tuesday night in Buffalo.I hope that they can beat them.That would be totally cool.
Tonight,I will be going out to sing for my friends and I am hoping that it goes well.I rarely if ever have an off night singing but it does not hurt to hope.Again,I hope that my night goes well.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good.Today was a work day for me and that went by smoothly as expected.I also got my Christmas shopping done today by buying one more gift for a member of my family.That was truly an amazing accomplishment.With Christmas almost a week away,it's great that I have finally bought that gift.I can now take it easy until Christmas.I also got a gift card from work and I also bought a holiday special DVD set alongside that final gift.It is an accomplishment to finally get something done.Yes it is.I feel proud of myself and that is a very good feeling.
Tonight,I went to a festival of lights at a Roman Catholic basilica in the county that I live and that was wonderful.I even said a couple of prayers for my family and for my friend who died on Thursday morning.I even had a talk with a man who had his two sons with him and it was a wonderful talk.I could also tell that man and his two boys were close and that he loved those boys with all his heart and soul.I could just feel the warmth when they talked to each other.Again,it was a wonderful conversation and it was also wonderful to see that festival of lights.
That was my day and night.Comments are welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good.It was a pretty good night for me.I got a little bit of a break today when most of the people from work went to a Christmas party.I chose to sit it out and had myself a little bit of a break today.I went to a mall to have lunch.It was great.I even looked around a bit in a record store at the mall.There was nothing that I was looking for so I went home for a bit.I watched a little bit of TV and read some e-mail.I went back to work to finish off my job and delivered the laundry to the location that I had to take it to.It was a prety good day.Tomorrow,it's back to normal with the normal time shift and I am hoping that it goes smoothly.So far,nothing really negative to talk about here regarding work and that is good.Though I am feeling good,I am feeling a little bit of sadness tonight because a friend of mine who lived in Kentucky died.She died of cancer at a young age.I am going to miss her.She was a very sweet down to earth lady.
The Buffalo Sabres were victorious tonight.They avenged themselves over the Florida Panthers tonight by a score of 2-1.That was really neat.Their next game is Saturday night against the Ottawa Senators in Buffalo.The Senators have been giving the Sabres a hard time as of late but I am hoping that the Sabres can beat them for a change.A win over the Senators on Saturday night would be totally awesome.Again,I hope that they win Saturday night.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling good.I had a great night tonight.My support group meeting went well.I talked about what happened to me yesterday and even got some more excessive emotional baggage off of my shoulders.It was awesome.I also had a talk with a friend of mine from North Carolina on the phone and it was a wonderful conversation.I had a great group meeting and I had a wonderful conversation with my friend from North Carolina.It was a very awesome night for me.I feel better about myself than I have in a long time and that gives me a wonderful feeling.I feel like I've accomplished something somehow.WOW!It gives me a wonderful feeling to have felt that I accomplished something.WOW!What a night this has been.
Tomorrow is another work day.I hope that the work day goes well with nothing negative happening.It I can get through a day of that and even Friday,that would be terrific.Yes it would.
The Buffalo Sabres are playing tomorrow night.I hope that they can avenge that loss to the Florida Panthers from a few weeks ago.That would be great.I hope that they win.
Well,that was my night.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.The last two days have been a mixed bag of feelings.Yesterday was my day off.I had two appointments yesterday.One with the Social Security office and one with my anger management counselor.The meeting with the social security people went well enough.But my anger management counseling session was not so successful.I was repeatedly emasculated by my counselor.I was accused of male chauvanism and he blamed me for why I had anger problems.This is not the type of counseling I was looking for nor needy for.I know that I need to learn to control my anger but this is the type of counseling that I really do not need.After one more month,I am terminating this.My supervisor at work assured me that it was okay for me to do so.Even my supervisor told me that I really did not need it anymore and that I was doing really good.So,after one more month,I am terminating this.I am going to go back to my regular medication management sessions at the hospital after next month.Regarding my anger management counselor,it was like he was telling me that I did not have the right to feel any way I want to.I do have to disagree with this.I am a person.I do have feelings.I do have the right to feel any way that I want to.I am also a man and I am going to be a man whether he likes it or not and I am going to be the man that I want to be whether it gets approval from people or not.I am determined to be a man and be the man I want to be.
Today was a work day.The work day went by fairly smoothly.The only setback was that a fellow colleague brought up to my attention a pornagraphic file picture that was supposedly found in the history during my time and I did not even see it before until he showed it to me.I simply said that I knew nothing about it and that was the first time that I had seen it.That actually went well and that also surprised me.The last time something like this happened I got so extremely angry because I was innocent of the charges that were brought against me at the time I knew that it was not mine.That last time,I was suspended from work and wound up in anger management counseling as a result because my supervisor felt it was best for me to do so at the time to save me from getting terminated.But this time,I did not get upset.I will still bring it up in prayer tonight with the creator up in Heaven and hope that this can be resolved in time.I hope that the real person will be found soon.But after that happened,I simply paid more attention to my work and spent more time doing more of my job and forgetting what happened.Though I was not upset,I was still angry because that file was not mine and I did not plant it in there.But still,I will bring it up in prayer tonight with God and hope that this can be resolved soon.I also hope that this does not happen again.
Tonight,I am feeling a bit better because the Buffalo Sabres have defeated the New Jersey Devils 3-2 in the Meadowlands.Their next game is Thursday night at home,which is a rematch with the Florida Panthers.I hope that the Sabres can avenge themselves for the loss on the 7th when the Panthers beat them in Florida by a score of 3-1.I hope that they can defeat them and avenge that embarrasing loss.
Well,that was the last two days.Thoughts are welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.It was a pretty fair day and I managed to get a couple of things done.Right now,the wind is blowing hard and it's cold out tonight.But I am in the house taking it easy and enjoying the evening for what it's worth.I am just feeling a bit upbeat after having a talk with a friend of mine from New Jersey.It was a very pleasant conversation.I also watched a very emotional holiday episode of 7th Heaven,which is one of my favorite TV shows.It was a very awesome episode.I am feeling a bit well and that is good.At least,that is what I think about it.
Last night,my tribute to John Lennon went well.It was a blast to entertain the crowds and pay tribute to one of the greatest men who ever lived.John Lennon was one of the greatest men who had ever lived.I still miss John Lennon to this day.R.I.P.John wherever you may be.May your soul find peace and contentment.
Tomorrow is my day off but it will be a very busy day.I have two appointments that I have to keep.The first is with the Social Security office in my hometown and later,it's with my anger management counselor.I hope that both go well.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in with optimism and a much better feeling tonight.I am hoping that the evening tonight goes well tonight as I am going out tonight to entertain my friends at the bar tonight.I am going to do my tribute to John Lennon.I am hoping that the night goes well and that it all works out.I rarely have an off night but I am still hoping that everything goes good.I pay tribute to John Lennon every year around the time of his death and even on his birthday in October.I am feeling pretty good and hopeful.I am also hoping the Sabres win tonight over the Montreal Canadians.It is right now in a shootout and I am hoping that the Sabres win tonight.It will be great to see a victory tonight after a sad loss on Wednesday night to the Florida Panthers.Again,I am feeling hopeful and optimistic and I have a feeling that it will go well.But I always hope.
This just in,the Buffalo Sabres have just defeated the Montreal Canadians in a shootout by a score 0f 3-2.Terrific.The Sabres are victorious after that loss.Yes sir.
Again,I am feeling hopeful and I have a feeling that all will go well.
I hope that everybody has a nice evening.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.Today is the anniversary of the assassination of John Lennon.This day always makes me feel at edge and gives me mixed emotions because I am always feeling sadness because of John being gone and anger towards the man who murdered him.My anger for Lennon's murderer has never subsided and will remain until his murderer is dead and buried.I know that it sounds harsh but I am still vainly angry at his murderer for what he did.Though I have forgiven him,I am still angry.My anger is still as strong as it has been ever since I heard that man's name.The worst thing about it is this:They are actually making a movie that guy.He does not deserve a movie made about him nor does he deserve fame or even to have his name mentioned.That man only murdered Lennon because he wanted to make a name for himself.He thought of himself to be a nobody and by murdering Lennon,he wanted to be somebody.If murdering Lennon was not bad enough,that movie only gives him more of what he wants.I am going to the memory and legacy of Lennon a favor by not seeing that movie.I also hope that the movie BOMBS severely.Yes I do.
The Buffalo Sabres also lost last night by a score of 3-1 to the Florida Panthers.The Sabres play again at Montreal on Saturday night.I hope that they can beat them.
Tomorrow night,I will be singing for my friends at the bar and I will be doing a tribute to John Lennon all night like I do every year around this time.I also do it every year around his birthday as well.I hope that it goes well.
Well,those are my thoughts.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good.It was a fairly decent day today at work as the day went by pretty smoothly.Nothing really negative to write about here tonight.It was as I said a fairly decent day.
Tonight,the weather is cold and there is snow all over the place,We had an evening snow fall overnight as I was sleeping.I simply brushed off the snow off my jeep and after a warm up drove to work this morning.Again,work went pretty well.Nothing negative to write about.
Tonight,the Sabres are playing the Florida Panthers.I hope that they can bring home a win tonight.
The only thing that is really bugging me is that tomorrow is the anniversary of the assassination of John Lennon.This time around always makes me feel at edge because I miss John Lennon so much.I still feel his absence from the world each and every day.On Saturday night,I will be doing my yearly tribute to John by singing songs that he made famous solo and with The Beatles.The only great thing is that his assassin is still behind bars where he truly belongs.Again,it's still sad that John Lennon is dead and I miss him dearly.But I have been playing his music quite a bit while I am driving and at home.I just wish that he were still alive today.He did not deserve to die.He deserved to live.But I know he's dead and I have accepted that.But still,it's hard to believe that he is gone.
Well that was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling great.Yes I do.I have just gotten back from my support group meeting and it was another wonderful meeting.I am greatful for that because I had yet another frustrating day today.I had to do a laundry pick-up this morning and the laundry room where I picked it up at was an unholy mess.It took me nearly half an hour to pick up the mess.The place I picked up is a center that helps drug and alcohol dependent people learn to live a life without drugs and alcohol.While the center does that,I feel that the people there can pick up after themselves and not have anybody pick up after them.It was frustrating.I had to clean up a mess.But afterwards,I dropped off the laundry where I had to drop it off and I went home.I also took my mother grocery shopping and I went to my appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor and that also went well.Then tonight,the group meeting went great and it made me actually forget about the frustration of the morning chore that I had to do.But the meeting made me feel great.It was yet another wonderful meeting and it was great to talk about certain things.It was a great evening.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that they day goes well.I am also hoping that I will have another frustrating morning like I had this morning.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling a bit better.Even though I had a frustrating day today at work because I did have to pick up after some people at the place where I pick up dirty laundry and was feeling a bit at edge when I got home today,I did get at least an hours rest and I felt better afterwards.Tomorrow is yet another group night and I am hoping that it goes well.Even though it's going good at the moment,I still hope for it to go well.Nothing wrong with hoping,I think.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres were victorious again.They defeated the Tampa Bay Lightning by a score of 4-1 tonight.After that humiliating loss to the Washington Capitols on Saturday night,they come back with a win tonight.Their next game is Thursday night at the Florida Panthers.I hope for a second consecutive win.That would be sweet.
I also have an appointment tomorrow with my sexual abuse support counselor.I hope that the meeting goes well.I have to do a laundry pick up tomorrow morning and after that,I am taking my mother grocery shopping for the month.
It is going to be a pretty cold night tonight.It's supposed to be milder tomorrow.There is snow on the ground and the roads are a bit slippery.But it's supposed to be warmer tomorrow.I hope that it melts everything.
That was my day and night.Thoughts are welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.I thought that I had an appointment today with one of my anger management counselor but it turns out that it was for next Monday.I will be seeing him next week after all.I do have a lot to tell him regarding my support group and how I've been the past several weeks.I will be looking forward to that meeting with him next week.So far,I have nothing negative to write about.Then again,it is only the beginning of the week.Tomorrow is another work day and I am hoping that the day goes as well as expected.I only hope because you never know what might happen.Again,I am hoping that the work day goes as well as expected.
Tomorrow night,the Sabres are going against the Tampa Bay Lightning.I hope that they can beat them in Tampa Bay tomorrow night.A victory would be totally sweet.Yes it would.I can hardly wait for tomorrow night.Today,I did run a few errands but I could not get everything thatI hoped to get and when I could not get something in one store,I had to go to another location.But at least,I did manage to get what I had to get.So,the day was not so bad but I wished that I could have gotten everything accomplished.That's why I have mixed emotions.
Well,that was my day.Comments are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I am checking in feeling a bit better than yesterday.Though,I am still feeling a little bit of disappointment.My disappointment is that the Buffalo Sabres lost to the Washington Capitols last night by a score of 7-4.They are playing again Tuesday against the Tampa Bay Lightning and I am hoping for a win after that disappointing loss on Saturday night.I know that the Sabres can not win them all but it was still disheartening to see another loss especially against a team they could have beaten.But then again,there were penalties that should have been called.The referees did a poor job last night.It kind of makes you wonder.But I am going to move on.Tuesday night is another game.I hope for another win.
Last night,my tribute to George Harrison went off great.It was a spectacular night for me.My performance went over superbly well and that amde me feel good.Next Saturday,I will be doing my tribute to John Lennon as always.I am hoping that my tribute to Lennon goes well.Tonight,I had another talk with my friend from New Jersey and that was a great talk.That is why I am feeling better tonight.My performance went well and I had a pleasant talk with my friend from Jersey.Plus,I ran another errand today.It was a very cold day but I still accomplished a lot.Yes I did.Again,that is why I am feeling better.
That was my night last night and tonight.Comments are welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.I will be singing for my friends tonight at the bar.But the reason why I am feeling the way I am is because this week is the anniversary week of the death of George Harrison and I am always feeling sad and/or with mixed emotions during this week as well as next week,which will be the anniversary of the assassination of John Lennon.I am always feeling sad and/or with mixed emotions during these times of the year.I miss those two so much.It is sad that they are gone.While I have accepted the hard reality that they are no longer with us,I still find it hard to believe that they are gone.I feel their absence every day,especially when these anniversaries fall around this time.
I am feeling a little bit of happiness.A friend of mine was nominated for an award.I even called to congratulate him and wish him luck.I hope that he appreciates that.I am also hoping that he wins the award that he is nominated for.That would be neat.Yes it would.
Tonight,I will be singing at the bar.I hope that it goes as well as expected.I will be doing a George Harrison tribute tonight.If that goes good,I will feel a bit better.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for the best.
Well those are my ramblings.Thoughts are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check with mixed emotions.Today was a pretty decent work day and that went as well as expected.I did my job and doing that satisfies me.But I am feeling a bit at edge tonight mainly due to the weather outside.The weather had rained all day and there were a lot of high winds.There is a HIGH WIND WARNING in effect for my area until 5:00am tomorrow morning.I am hoping that nothing happens to my jeep as I am sleeping tonight.With high winds,anything can happen.But I am hoping that nothing happens.I can still hear the winds outside as I am typing this.Boy,are they going fast and furious.I am staying home tonight as a precaution because I do not have anywhere to go or anything to do.In weather like this,there is never anything to do.So,I am staying home tonight.I'll just sit at home and possibly watch a movie.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres are playing the New York Rangers.I am hoping for a win tonight.They won in overtime Sunday night and another win tomnight would be totally sweet.Tomorrow night,I will be singing for my friends and I will be doing my annual tribute to George Harrison because this is the week of the anniversary of his death of cancer 5 years ago.Next week,it will be my annual tribute to John Lennnon.I am hoping that both nights go well.I rarely have an off night but I am always still hoping for it to go well.There is nothing wrong with hoping.
Well,that is all for now.Thoughts are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling a little bit at edge because I received some shocking news today that I was not anticipating.Something told me this morning that I would receive some shocking news today,but I really did not know what it would consist of.When I got to work this morning,someone showed me an obituary from a newspaper from a city in the next county and it was about the death of a person that I knew.It was someone that I used to see every day around where I worked and it was shocking.The person died of respiratory failure from her chronically bad asthma.It was pretty surprising because she was going out with the guy who unneedlessly criticized me for showing good manners at the table during lunch on Tuesday.I did give him my condolenses regarding her death and he said Thank You.It was a pretty sad day hearing about the recent death of her and it just was not the same after hearing about this.It looked like a promising day but soon turned to tragedy upon hearing about this.It was shocking to hear this.One minute the person is there.The next minute they are gone.I ask myself "WHY?!" sometimes.She died at the still too young age of 38.May she rest in peace.
That was what happened.If you woudl like to say a few words,please do so.Thanks.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling really good.Tonight was yet another swell night for me.I went to my support group and it was yet another wonderful meeting.It is great to be a part of a group of men where you can bare all and let yourself go in what you share without having to worry about being judged according to your struggles.I felt great.It was a wonderful night and I got a lot out of what I shared and just being a part of the group.I am again attending next Wednesday night and I am hoping again to get a lot more out of it like the other meetings.I feel greatful for hearing about this group and I am thankful to be a part of it.Yes I am.I have never felt this way in I don't know how long.
Tomorrow is yet another work day.I am hoping that the day goes by well enough and that everything works out.I will be working a full schedule tomorrow and I again hope that it all works out and that the work day goes hazard free.I am just taking life one day at a time and just keep hoping for the best.
That was my night.Thoughts are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good.It was a pretty decent day today despite a minor run in with somebody during the lunch period.I was trying to practice good manners today as I was reaching for my plate at the table that I was sitting it.While reaching for it,I simply said "Excuse Me" as I was reaching because I did not want to appear rude.But I got criticized for it and the person who criticized me not only had the nerve to call me ignorant but he even made an unfriendly reference to how it would be handled in the New York state prison.The other people at the table did not complain about this and just shook their heads at the criticism.I could not believe this.I actually said "Excuse Me" but it did me no good.I felt that if I reached over without saying that,I would see why he would complain.But I felt that by saying "Excuse Me" he really should not have.Oh well.I guess that you can't please everybody all of the time.I also guess that some people don't appreciate it when somebody tries to show manners.Again,Oh Well.
Tomorrow is a day that I take my vehicle in for an oil change.It should have been done a week ago but they were busy when it's due and I had to worry about what could happen if it wasn't done whe it's supposed to be done.But I will get it done tomorrow.Tomorrow night is the night of my support group.I hope that the meeting goes well.So far,it has been so good.But it never hurts to hope for things to go well.At least,that's how I feel about it.
That was my day.Thoughts are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling better.Today,I got a great dental report from the dentist on my teeth.The dentist said that my teeth looked very good.The dentist also congratulated me for doing a great job in taking care of my teeth.That really made my day.Yes it did.I got a good dental report and the day looked bright.It was sunny and it was not too cold.The good dental report really made the day seem like it was beautiful all around.Again,getting a good dental report really made the day for me.
My day off today was joyful.I ran a few errands for my mother today and I got to take it easy.Tomorrow is yet another work day and I am hoping that it goes well.I am also hoping that the entire work week goes well for me.Nothing negative has happened to me in the past few weeks and that is good.But still,it does not hurt to hope for good days because you never know what's going to happen.Wednesday night is my support group night and I am hoping that the meeting with them goes good.It has been going good with me since I have become a part of the group.I have not had any terrible dreams of being in rooms full of naked men wanting me to satisfy their selfish cravings.That is great.I have been sleeping well enough at nights now and that has been terrific.I can now sleep without having to worry about those terrible dreams as much.They still come back now and then but they are not a constant bother or pain to me like they used to be.
Well,I am again hoping that tomorrow goes well.I am also again hoping that the entire week goes well.Again,it never hurts to hope for good days or things even if nothing negative has happened.
That was my day.Thougts are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling a bit better then yesterday.I am not as much at edge as I was yesterday.But things were pretty good today.I had to run errands all day and that worked out liked it should.It was a nice day.It was so nice that I rolled down my windows and let my Eddie Money CD blare from my jeep.Awesome.Winter is almost here and it sure does not look like it.The sun was shining today and there was no cloud in the sky.Tomorrow,I have to go to the dentist and have my teeth checked out and cleaned.I am hoping for a good dental report.On Wednesday,I am going to the group again and I am hoping for a wonderful meeting.It will be wonderful to see all the guys there again.I look forward to that every Wednesday now.I am still overjoyed to have found this group.I am also still overjoyed that the friend that I have in Texas told me about it.I am now looking forward to every meeting.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres were victorious again.They defeated the New York Rangers in overtime tonight by a score of 3-2.They are playing the Rangers again on Friday night,this time at home.I hope for the Sabres to win again over the Rangers.It will be super for them to win in front of the hometown crowd.It was disappointing for them to lose to the Montreal Canadians on Friday night.A hometown win on Friday night over the Rangers would be totally THE BOMB.Yes it would.
The only really negative thing is that this is the anniversary of the deaths of Freddie Mercury of Queen and Eric Carr of KISS.They have both been dead for 15 years now and I am still missing them.They were members of two of my favorite groups.Again,I will always miss them both.
Tuesday is yet another work day for me.I am hoping that the working week goes good for me.There have not been any negatives happening as of late.But it never hurts to hope for things to go well.
That was my day and night.Comments are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions yet again.I was feeling a little at edge much of the day but I am feeling better now.I just dropped my mom off at my niece's house so she can babysit my grand niece's and grand nephew.My niece is working hard to support the four of them and that is admirable and worthy of respect in itself.But I am always hoping that she does not take in too much.Working hard is one thing but taking on too much is another.Ever since her husband left her,she has been working so hard that she hardly has enough time in the day anymore.That really makes me even angrier with her about to be ex-husband.He really had us all fooled.
Tonight,I am going to try to forget about all of that as I am going to be singing for my friends tonight.I have been practicing and I am hoping that it all goes well.Even though I rarely have an off night,I still continue to hope for the best.It still never hurts to hope.
Tomorrow night,the Buffalo Sabres play the New York Rangers in New York and I hope that they can beat them.That loss to the Montreal Canadians was disappointing and a win would make me forget all about that loss.The only good thing out of it is that the Sabres still have the best record in the league.I know that they can't win them all and I have accepted that as a fact but still,I would LOVE to see them beat the Rangers.
Well,that is all until tomorrow.Thoughts are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.The Sabres lost to the Montreal Canadians tonight by a score 2-1.They lost in overtime to them.It was disappointing but they still put a good effort in the game.They will be playing against the New York Rangers on Sunday night.I hope that they can beat them.Tonight was a disappointing loss but a win Sunday night would be good.Yes it would be.
Today,I was a little bored because,though I was enjoying my day off,there was really nothing to do today.I just stayed home after cashing my paycheck and picking up a few things for tomorrow night's dinner.Tonight,we had a small ham dinner and we watched some Christmas specials on video.It was a pretty fair day though it was a little boring as well.I did not leave the house today after I ran the errands that needed to be run.I am feeling a bit at edge because some of the old thought patterns are coming back to try to take me over.But I am trying to stay calm even though they are trying to get the better of me.I just simply have to let them flow and not give in to them.I have to show them that I am stronger than they are.I will not let these thoughts of the past overwhelm me nor will act out on them.I have come too far in my healing process of ridding myself of unwanted SSA to do that.I know the roots behind them but I won't give in to them.Again,I have to show them that I am stronger than they are even though it is a difficult thing to do.
I figure that all I need is a good nights sleep and I will be okay tomorrow morning.Tomorrow will be a new daya nd a new beginning.I will be singing tomorrow night for my friends and I am hoping that this all goes well.
Thoughts are always appreciated.FJ

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.I am checking in tonight feeling good.Today was a nice holiday.I did spend it with a few of family members and it was a little nice.After we spent an hour over at my niece's house,my mom and I came home and that is where I am this very moment.It was a pretty good day and again,I am glad for the time off that I have until Tuesday.I am hoping that my break goes well and that everything goes good.
Tomorrow night,the Sabres will be hosting the Montreal Canadians in Buffalo.Last night's win over the Leafs was truly sweet.I am hoping for yet another win tomorrow night over Montreal.The Sabres are off to their best start in many years and that is great.I am still hoping that one day,they do indeed bring home the Stanley Cup.That would be "IT!"It would also be a big thing for the history of sports in Buffalo.I have been hoping for this for years and I hope that it happens one of these days.A Stanley Cup champion team for Buffalo would be neat.Yes it would.
I am also hoping for a wonderful weekend of singing.I will be practicing hard for the night and I am hoping for another successful performance.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still keep hoping for success with the crowd because it never hurts to hope.
Thoughts are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling really good.I went to the support group at the church tonight and it was yet another wonderful meeting.I got a lot out of it tonight and it made me feel good.Yes it did.I feel better about myself that I have been in the last few years.Truly amazing how one group meeting can make a guy feel this way.Totally great.
Not only that,I am also feeling good for another reason.The Buffalo Sabres were victorious tonight over the Toronto Maple Leafs.The defeated them 7-4 in the HSBC arena tonight.With this win,the Sabres avenge themselves over the Maple Leafs when they lost two weeks ago to the Leafs also in the HSBC Arena by a score of 4-1.That loss was the most embarassing loss of the season for the Sabres.But tonight,the Sabres were huge winners.It actually made the fans forget that the Leafs beat them at home two weeks ago.Still,it was a great game and a great night night for me.The successful group meeting and the Sabres victorious tonight.What a night this has been.I am now at home feeling good as I am posting this.I am looking forward to the next meeting and I am hoping that it goes as well as the last two did.Again,I am glad that I found out about this through a friend of mine in Texas.I am going to e-mail him tonight and tell him about this.It was truly a wonderful night.Yes it was.Again,I am looking forward to the next meeting.
Today,I also received on DVD,two classic PBS TV series that I have not seen in years.They are Vegetable Soup and Inside Out.I used to watch these when I was a kid back in the mid 1970's on PBS.They were truly wonderful shows and seeing them after all these years was awesome and amazing.I bought them on Ebay from a guy in Oregon and I received them today.Again,truly awesome to see these wonderful educational programs after all these years.WOW!Totally the max.
Tomorrow will be the Thanksgiving holiday.Though I really do not feel like it,I will be going over to my niece's house because my niece won't take take NO for an answer.I was hoping to have it at home for a change but when my niece cried her eyes out over the phone to my mom,we reached a compromise and decided to spend at least an hour or even an hour and a half.But my mom and I will be having our real dinner at home later.But still,I am hoping that all goes well.
That was my night.Comments are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling really good.Today was a work day and that went well.Nothing negative to write about nor even share and that was good.Everything worked out the way I expected it to work out and that actually gave me a great feeling.Yes it did.It was just a great day.The weather might have been cold but that was okay.It was a very good day and that was good.
Last night,the Buffalo Sabres were victorious.They crushed the Tampa Bay Lighning by a score of 7-2.I was a little bit worried when the Lightning jumped out to a 2-0 lead but then the Sabres launched a counter attack to short curcuit the Lightning by a score of 7-2.It was a great game and the Sabres stopped what would have been their first losing streak.Tomorrow night,a rematch with the Toronto Maple Leafs in the HSBC Arena.Two weeks ago,the Sabres suffered an embarassing loss to the Leafs at home.Now,the Sabres have a chance of avenging that loss from two weeks ago.I hope that they can put another home win under their belt.That would be totally sweet.Yes it would.Another win would be sensational.
Tomorrow night,I will be attending the support group at the church and I am hoping that goes well.I feel that it will but still,it does not hurt to hope.Last week was great and I am hoping that this week will be great as well.I do want to recover from unwanted SSA because I am fed up with the rut that I am in because of it.I am determined to recover and I am not going to let nothing stop me.No sir.
That was my day.Comments are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling very good.Today was a busy day for me.I got a lot accomplished today and that gave me a good feeling.When you accomplish everything that you set to accomplish,it gives you the feeling of success.Today,we at the homefront finally got our shopping done for the month and that was terrific.Tonight,a couple of Charlie Brown specials are coming on and that is something that I look forward to every year.It has been a pretty good day so far and that makes me feel good.Yes,I got a lot accomplished and that is good.
Tonight,the Sabres are going against the Tampa Bay Lighning and so far,in the opening period,the Lightning are up 1-0.I am hoping that the Buffalo Sabres can score to tie the game and dominate.I hated seeing them lose to Ottawa on Saturday night even though I did have a great night of singing.But still,the loss disappointed me.
Tomorrow is yet another work day and I am hoping that the day goes well as expected.I know that I will have a lot of laundry to pick up and that will give me plenty to do.Again,I hope that the day goes well as expected.The best thing about this week is that I will have a few days off coming due to the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.It will be a full 5 day weekend for me.I will be getting an extended break.On Wednesday,I will be attending the support group meeting at the church and I am hoping for that to go good.Last week,it was wonderful.I am hoping for yet another wonderful experience.It was great to attend last week and feel like a part of the group.I am looking forward to that meeting.
That was my day.Comments are welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling good.It was a good day today.I got a lot done today and that was great.I had to run an errand for my mom today and that went as well as expected.I also had a nice pizza lunch today and that was good.I also managed to find a rare Beatles movie on DVD today and that was Magical Mystery Tour.I even watched it when I got home today and it played beautifully.I can now preserve my VHS video of the movie.I am now at home and it is peaceful and very quiet.I even had a talk with a friend of mine from New Jersey and he's doing good.Again,it is great to have somebody to confide with.I am going to call my father tomorrow and see how he's doing.I hope that he is doing well.
Last night,my night of singing was yet another huge hit of the night.I received a lot of positive comments from the crowd and that made my night.It always makes me feel good to entertain the crowds week after week and have a very successful night everytime.Again,it always makes me feel good to do that and get a lot of nice and kind words from the crowds.The only disappointment is that the Buffalo Sabres were defeated by the Ottawa Senators last night by a score of 4-2.It was disappointing,yes.But tomorrow night,they are playing the Tampa Bay Lightning at home and I am hoping that they can bounce back after that disappointing loss.But I still had a great night last night and that made me feel good.Again,I hope that the Buffalo Sabres can win tomorrow night.
That was my day and my night last night.Comments are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling great with a lot of optimism in me.Saturday night is here and soon I will be going to sing for my friends.I am hoping that everything goes well tonight.Even though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for the night to go well.I am still practicing real hard on the songs that I am going to do tonight and again,I hope that all goes well.I can hardly wait to get to the place and sing.I am hoping that it goes great and that I have a great night.Again,I rarely have an off night but it still does not hurt to hope for everything to go good.I am hoping for a super night and that would be totally excellent.
Tonight,the Sabres are going against the Ottawa Senators in Ottawa.At the moment,the score is 1-0 in favor of Buffalo.It is the second period as I am typing this up to you.I am hoping that the Buffalo Sabres avenge themselves for Wednesday night's loss against the Senators at home,which was very disappointing.A win tonight would be neat.I wouldlove to see the Sabres victorious again after beating the Pittsburgh Penguins last night 4-2 at home.They are currently with the best record in the league and that is truly awesome.A win tonight would be another road win for the record books.They are currently in the record books with the most road wins,so far.The more road wins,the better.It's great to finally see the team get into the record books after all these years.Each and very year,I always hope that they one day bring home the Stanley Cup.That would also be awesome.Until they do,I am just going to keep on hoping until it happens.Again,I hope that they win and I have a good night singing.
That is all for now.Thoughts are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling a little bit better than last night.I had some time to myself tonight while my mom was over at my niece's house celebrating her birthday with her.It was great to finally have some peace and quiet in the house for a change after the array of last week when I had to deal with a bunch of noisy kids and rotten attitudes courtesy of a few family members.It felt great to not hear kids screaming,running around and fussing and not having to deal with rude relatives.Don't get me wrong,I have nothing personal against my family members but sometimes I do need a break from them.Tonight was that break and I could finally relax and take it easy and not have to worry about noisy kids and the attitudes of relatives who crave nothing more than pushing your buttons for no particular reason.On the other hand,the work day went as well as expected.Nothing really negative to write about nor even vent about.It is great to finally not really have too much to deal with at the moment after the frustrations of the previous week where I was cleaning up after drug addicts who could actually pick up after themselves and bag everything so I would not have to worry about it.Oh well,that's life.
On a even better note,the Buffalo Sabres win again tonight at home.They defeated the Pittsburgh Penguins by a score of 4-2.It was disappointing that they lost on Wednesday night but they were victorious tonight.Tomorrow night,they're having a rematch with the Ottawa Senators in Ottawa and I am hoping for yet another win.It would be great for the Sabres to avenge themselves after Wednesday's loss.A win would be totally sweet.I will also be singing again tomorrow night for my friends and i am hoping that this goes well.
That was my day and night.Thoughts are always appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.I had a pretty decent work day today.I also had to pick up a few things at the supermarket for dinner because me and my mom were eating light tonight.As me and my mom were sitting down to enjoy our meal,we get a phone call from my niece saying that the sitter that was supposed to come over called in saying that she had to take one of her kids right away to the hospital because it got hurt.Truthfully,I really did not like that.I do not like being rudely interrupted when I am about to eat.I had to abruptly stop and take my mom over to my niece's house so she could babysit her great grand kids.I understand the situation surrounding her sitter but I still did not like being interrupted while I was attempting to have my evening meal.I felt that my niece could have waited until we had finished eating and then have me drop off mom at her house.When I did get home,I had my meal finally and I later did the dishes after letting them soak in water for a while.I am feeling a bit better though I still feel a little at edge after what happened.I know and understand that situations such as what happened to her sitter can not be helped and that they are unexpected.But being interrupted as we were sitting down to eat gave me an unsettling feeling.
Before the dinner fiasco,I did take a nap for over an hour to relax because I felt a little sleepy.As I was napping,I had yet another bad dream.I dreamed that I was in a room full of naked men and when they saw me,they all approached me with their genitals at full erection asking that I give them head.I even started talking to myself in my sleep and when I awoke,I had another horrendous throbbing erection myself,I said a little prayer for these images to disappear from my head and that the immoral thoughts related to them be removed.Within a few moments,they did disappear and I went back to sleep.Nothing happened after that.I had a good nap after that.
Tomorrow is yet another work day and I am hoping that it goes well.Tomorrow night,the Buffalo Sabres are taking on the Pittsburgh Penguins in Buffalo.After that disappointing loss to the Ottawa Senators on Wednesday night,I am hoping for them to bounce back.A win would be great.On Saturday night,it is a rematch with the Ottawa Senators this time in Ottawa.I am also hoping that the Sabres will avenge the Wednesday night loss.It that happens,it would be super.Yes it would.
That was my day and night.As always,comments are appreciated.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling great.It was a great night for me.I attended that support group at the church tonight and it was wonderful.The meeting was wonderful and we talked about a lot during the time.I shared my life story and why I came there and it was super.I even talked a few minutes with some of the people I met and that also was great.I actually went home feeling a little bit better about myself that I have in quite a while,which,in itself,says a lot.I will definitely be going next week and get some more rewarding information.I have a feeling that this is going to work out just fine.Again,it was a wonderful meeting and very rewarding.The people there were terrific.I can hardly wait until next week.I have a smile on my face that is not leaving.
I am right now at home and I am still feeling great.It was awesome to find out about this group and attend my first meeting.I am now looking forward to the next meeting.What a night this has been.
Of course,I have just learned that the Buffalo Sabres lost to the Ottawa Senators tonight by a score of 4-2.Though I am disappointed by this loss,I am still proud of my hockey time because they did put a great effort into the game tonight.Still,after the positive experience that I had tonight,I am still feeling good.Yes I am.Plus,I have new tires on my vehicle and that is also a great thing.I had to wait a while for it but when I got it back,it was well worth the wait.
That was my day and night.As always,thoughts are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.The work day went as well as expected with nothing negative to write in about.But at the moment,I am feeling pretty nervous.Tomorrow night,I am going to be checking out that support group at the church and I do not not know what to expect.I will be meeting some new faces and I am hoping to make some new friends to share my experiences with and to just be there and feel like a part of a group.I am hopeful about that but I am still feeling nervous about the whole thing.I guess since the sexual abuse support group has ended several months ago,I have not even attended anything since then and I am hoping that the nervousness goes away little by little.I am still hoping for a positive experience and that it will be well worth it.It will be awesome to attend the group and participate in group discussions and again,just to be a part of the group where I can be myself and just have a positive experience from it all.
Again,the work day went as expected.It went by well without anything negative happening with the exception of getting scoffed at when I cracked a wisecrack at the kitchen lady.That really was not what I was expecting.I guess that she was having a bad day.But anyway,I did my work and finished it.I also went to the post office to have a money order prepared to send out to somebody in Oregon for an Ebay purchase that I made.I even went to the supermarket to pick up a couple of things.I went home,relaxed and had a light supper.A pretty good day.But I am remaining optimistic despite my nervousness regarding the group.I am hoping for a positive experience.
That was my day.Any thoughts?FJ

Tonight,I am checking in feeling really good.It was truly a wonderful day today.I did what I had to get done and that was truly an amazing accomplishment.I feel really good about myself for all I accomplished and that gives me a wonderful feeling.
I actually received in the mail today a VHS tape of a 1980's teen flick caled Lovelines.I saw it on HBO back in 1986 and I have not seen it since then until I got it in the mail today.I also watched a little bit of it to try out the tape in my VCR/DVD combo and the tape played really good.The picture was bright and it was awesome seing that movie again after 20 years.
Today,I did everything that I set out to do.I went to the bank to withdraw some money.I also went shopping to pick up a few things for the home.It was a great day.Nothing negative happened to me and even the traffic was good.I am now at home and feeling good.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres win again.They have now won a record 10 straight road games.They beat the reigning Stanley Cup champions the Carolina Hurricanes by a score of 7-4.10 straight road wins is nothing to sneeze at.They are playing the Ottawa Senators in Buffalo Wednesday night.I am hoping for another win.They already have the best record in the league at the moment but I would like for it to get even better.Another win would be totally sweet.Yes it would be.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the work day goes as well as expected.I am also hoping that the week goes by great as well.I am just going to take everyday one day at the time.
That was my day.Comments are welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I am checking in with a lot of good feelings.It was a wonderful day today.I got a lot done today and I had a great day just doing them.Yes,today was my day off and I enjoyed it.Again,I got a lot done today and I had a great time doing it.Yes I have.
I received a video in the mail today of a movie that I have been looking for.The movie is called Lovelines and it was a teen movie from the 1980's that I had seen on HBO back in 1986.It was great to see that movie again after 20 years.It was a treat.Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that this goes well all the same.I will be working a full day and again,I hope that it goes well.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres won yet another game.They now have 10 road wins on record and that is sure terrific.They actually beat the reigning Stanley Cup champions the Carolina Hurricanes by a score of 7-4.This is the second time that they beat the reigning NHL champs.Again,they now have a record 10 straight road wins,which is impressive.They are playing the Ottawa Senators on Wednesday night at home.I am hoping for yet another win.That would be something.The Buffalo Sabres already have the best record in the league at the moment but I am hoping that it will be better with another win against another tough team.A win would be totally sweet.Yes it would.
Once again,I accomplished a lot.I went to the bank to withdraw some money.I had to do a little shopping for the home.Nothing negative happened and that is good.I am hoping for yet another good day at work tomorrow.I also hope for a good week.
Well,that was my day.It was a great day.As always,comments are welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I am checking in feeling good.It was a pretty good day.I got a lot done.I checked up on my friend and his live in girlfriend and they are doing good.I had to go to a card store to get some birthday cards for a few members of my family because there are more birthdays coming up but they are going to be celebrated on Friday all at once.I told my mother that I am planning on staying home on Friday because I feel that I need some time to myself to relax,meditate and just clear my mind.I will be glad for that time.I am thinking of just sitting at home and watching a movie or simply whatever else I like to do.I am also hoping that this week goes by better than last week.I hope that there are no messes to clean when I pick up laundry on the days I have to pick,which is four days a week.Monday is my day off.I pick it up the rest of the work week.I had a wonderful dinner of pork chops and vegetables and I also had a talk with a friend of mine from New Jersey and it was a great talk.I am feeling good.I am hoping for a good work week.
Last night,I went out to sing for my friends and that was terific.I got to do three new songs and it was awesome.Plus,the Buffalo Sabres defeated the Philadelphia Flyers last night in overtime by a score of 5-4.Daniel Brieire once again scored yet another overtime winning goal. The Sabres have now set a new record in road wins this season so far with 9 consecutive road wins at the start of the season.That is totally awesome.They are playing the Carolina Hurricanes next and I am hoping that they make it 10.LET'S GO SABRES!LET'S GO!
I also managed to watch an episode of an old PBS show online that I used to watch when I was younger called All About You,which was hosted by Louise MacNamara and that was a treat.I have not seen this show in years and it was terrific to see that show after all these years.It was like taking me back to those pleasant childhood memories before enduring some of the tribulation that lead me to having SSA.But again,I am remaining hopeful that I will overcome it one of these days.
That was my day.Comments are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in with a lot to talk about.I had a very hectic day and getting home after that was an accomplishment.Today,there was a lot of traffic out on the road and it was really stressful and hectic.It was like rush hour.There was also a lot going on due to the fact that it was Veteran's Day.The county was having a Veteran's Day parade and that is why traffic was a bit tied up in my area.Not only that,I also had to contend with inconsiderate drivers who not move when the light turned green even after I beeped my horn three times.Not only that,I learned that a friend of mine did not get his DVD player back because his regular repairman could not fix it and had to take it to an electronics repair shop within the city.Yes,getting home today with all the hazyness around was an accomplishment.I was happy to finally be home to get cleaned up and take my bath before having a good dinner.I have eaten and I am now satisfied.It is now peaceful and I am hoping for a good night.
I am going to entertain my friends tonight and I am hoping that goes well enough.It always does but I still hope that it goes over with a positive response.But I have been practicing hard and it always goes good.
That was my hectic day.Comments are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions once again.I had yet another frustrating day on the job and it was not pretty.I once again had to pick up laundry todaya nd the place where I had to pick it up was another unholy mess.Dirty laundry was everywhere on the floor and in bunches and it took me nearly half an hour to pick it up.I was hoping to be on time but wound up being a few minutes late.On top of that,I had to put up with hypocrasy in the form of a colleague when I asked her to sign me up for a lunch but she told me it was too late but the rules of my workplace say that 10:30 am is the cutoff time and it was only 3 minutes left.But I could not get anywhere with her.She kept saying that it was "too late" but there was still only 3 minutes left.I pleaded my case and fortunately,we reached an agreement.She said that if any food was left,she will make sure I got something to eat.I did and I felt better.But the way that the day started out and this needless frustrtaing confrontation alongside the frustration of cleaning up after lazy drug and alcohol problematic people in a rehab center was really too much.If that was not bad enough,I also had to put up with other ignorant people and their baloney.All of these emotional conflicts led me to masturbate.It was just too much.But it was not over yet,I also had to endure yet another spur of the moment invitation from my niece to celebrate my mother's birthday today and I really was not in the mood for that.I was hoping to spend a nice quiet evening at home relaxing and taking it easy but I wound up cutting short such plans to go to a party that I was not even in the mood for and I had to put up with the loudness of my niece's screaming kids,which led me to have a really bad headache.I do not mind going to socail gathering.I have nothing personal against them nor am I anti-social.But I was definitely not in the mood for all of that after what happened to me today at work nor was I looking forward to being around a bunch of noisy kids.I know that they are my grand nieces and my grand nephew(middle child)and I have nothing personal against them.But I was looking forward to having time to myself to forget about all the negativisms that had happened.I did not get it.I am feeling a little at edge tonight and I am hoping for a good night's sleep and a great weekend.That way,I can put all of this behind me and forget it.A good night's sleep and a great weekend will hopefully make me forget about all the negativisms and just toss them to the wind.
I will be entertaining my friends tomorrow night and I am hoping to try out a few new songs that I have been wanting to try out.I hope that it goes well.
That was my day an dnight.Comments are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in with a little bit more upbeatness that I have had in recent days.It was a work day and that went by as expected.Nothing negative to write about but it went by pretty good.I did my job,did a bit more shopping,went home and napped before dinner.No bad dreams related to my SSA issues happened and it was a great quiet nap.I had dinner and I typed a long e-mail to an online Beatles group that I am a member of,which was a review of the George Harrison album All Things Must Pass.It took me two hours to complete and my mind is now looking forward to a good night's rest.It was a typical day and again,nothing negative happened.
Next Wednesday,I will be taking my 4X4 in for new tire replacements for the winter.It will cost some money but that is okay,it's well worth it.I need to make my 4X4 winter ready and without those tires,it will not be.I am still looking forward to attending that support group at the church next Wednesday the minute that those tires are on the vehicle.I am hoping that it works out for the better and that I can get a lot out of it.I am still feeling optimistic about the whole thing and I am hoping that it goes good.I did not blow up at anybody today or tonight even though I got a little peeved at a couple of inconsiderate drivers as I was driving home from work.But tomorrow is another day and I am hoping that it will be a better drive to work and home.The weekend is fast approaching and I am looking forward to that.I can not wait to entertain my friends again.
That was my day.Thanks for any comments.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions again.Today was an emotional roller coaster of giant proportions.After I dropped off some laundry at work,I printed some Sinatra song lyrics that I would like to sing on Saturday night.I left,went home and did my computer work.The roller coaster occured when I was on my way to see my sexual abuse support counselor today.The traffic was immense.I had to contend with inconsiderate drivers who practically have no respect for the law.I drove behind a person who could not obey the speed limits.They were simply driving way too slow.I could not get around because of all the cars that were parked on the street.I had finally made it to the office but I was a few minutes late.I always try to remain punctual with my appointments and I hate it when situations like the one I described above hinders my efforts.I was just a little too angry and I almost really blew up at my counselor,which is something that I had never done before.I know that I need to work on my anger problem and I would like to improve.But situations like that one hinder my efforts.I do want to feel and be happier and I do want to live life to it's fullest alongside moving ahead when it comes to my job.But I am having a difficult time trying to control this problem and it's preventing me from doing what I want to accomplish this.
Regarding that other support group,I have chosen to go next Wednesday because my mechanic said that it would be better for me to go long distances when I have new tires on my vehicle.I am still feeling optimistic about that and I feel that it will be great.I will go next week if I can make it and hope for the best.
On a lighter note,I went to see a movie tonight,which was Texas Chainsaw Masscare:The Beginning and I thought that it was pretty good.It was the first movie that I had seen in a little over a year and that was great.I am hopingthat tomorrow will be better.Not only that,I am also relieved that another Election Day has come and gone.No more negative TV ads from candidates and no more of those totally rude calls from them either.For a year,I have nothing to worry about regarding that.I am also hoping for a Sabres win on Friday night.That would be totally excellent.
Thanks for reading.Comments are welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a bit better but I did have a rather frustrating day.After I voted,I went right to work and when I got to the place where I had to pick up the laundry,the place was an unholy mess and it took me 20 minutes to pick up the dirty laundry off the floor and sort it out and bag it.When I arrived at my work site,I simply popped in a load in each of the washers and started them.The work day,after a frustrating start,went as well as expected.It was a pretty quiet day with nothing negative to talk about nor eartshaking but my biggest test was yet to come before the day was over.I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things for the evening supper after filling my gas tank and went home.
When I got home,my mother told me that the bank called reminding me of the amount of money due.I had already known that and was going to pay it tomorrow but I decided to go today and pay it and get it out of the way so I can take it easy the rest of the month.I also got a rude phone call,which was a recorded message by a politician asking me to vote but I had already voted.It really got to me because I tried to get rid of it by hanging up but when I picked up the phone again,it was still there.After a few repeated hang ups,I finally got rid of it and it was peaceful.The only thing that I am awaiting at this moment is the final results of the Election Day votes.Thanks goodness Election Day only comes once a year.After that,I took a nap on the sofa and that was great.No bad dreams or flashbacks happened and it was nice to finally get a few winks and not have any terrible dreams as I have been having lately.After dinner,I relaxed a bit and watched the news.A really tiresome day but it's almost over and I hope that a good nights sleep will make me feel better.
That was my day.Comments are welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I am really feeling at edge.Apparently,yet another spur of the moment thing happened today.My niece invited me and my mother over for dinner and I was not really in the mood.But I went anyway even though I did not want to because I did not want to arouse the ire of the women in this family.It happens to be a tradition in this family.If I do not accept an invitation for something such as that,I'll never hear the end of it.It will always be the same old loud bickering word exchange whenever a refusal happens.Plus,it was not too appealing or even great.My niece's children were all over the place.My brother in law wanted to have debates about religion and my nephew kept telling me to "Shut Up!I'm Trying To Watch A Movie."even though his father started the debate over this.My family does not believe in having a nice family conversation when we're having dinner together.All they want to do is watch movies and it's usually the same old type of movie over and over.It gets boring after a while and it's not very thrilling hearing negativisms all the while being there.I often wonder what has happened to warm,friendly family conversations whenever a family is having dinner together because sometimes that is what brings a family a little closer and fostering a feeling of warmth.But in my family,all they want to do is watch the same old boring types of movies over and over again and it does get tiresome after a while.I wish that I really did not have to do all of that.I was actually hoping for a nice little quiet dinner at home tonight but this spur of the moment invite was not what I really anticipated.The dinner was okay but the atmosphere was not very positive at all.I am now home and it is pretty peaceful at the moment.I can now think better.
Today,I went to my appointment to see my anger management counselor and that went good.We had a nice talk and now,he'll be handling everything pertaining to me.That is great.No more having counseling sessions with a seperate person regarding my medication management and behavioral therapy.He'll now handle everything.Again,that went good and I am glad that at least one thing worked out the way I had hoped it wouldThe day was not a total loss.One thing worked out and that was good.
I am hoping that tomorrow will be better.It is a work day and I am hoping for a good work day.I hope that nothing negative happens.
Well,that was my day.I am hopingthat the rest of the week works out.As always,comments and upbuilding advice are always welcomed.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.But I am feeling a tad upbeat.I had a really busy day of errand running and checking up on a friend.So,it was a very good day and I managed to get what I had to do done.
My mixed emotions are the result of last night's hockey game.The Buffalo Sabres lost to the Toronto Maple Leafs by a score of 4-1.It was their first loss in regulation this season.Yes,it was disappointing and a heartbreaker but tonight,they redeemed themselves.They beat the New York Rangers in overtime by a score of 4-3.But again,as with the Boston Bruins game a few nights ago,I was a little worried when the Rangers dominated most of the game.Buffalo did score first but the Rangers scored three goals when the Sabres made too many costly mistakes in the form of costly penalties and had the lead of 3-1 for most of the game until Daniel Briere scored to make it 3-2.Jason Pominville would tie the game in the third period to force an overtime.Daniel Breire would score the winner in overtime.Again,this game was another nail biter to say the least.But I am hoping that the Sabres will work on not making too many costly mistakes in a game,which can motivate the opponent to dominate and score goals on you.This is also one for the record books.They now have 8 consecutive road wins at the start of a season,breaking records held and shared by Detroit(2005)Philadelphia(1985) and Toronto(1940) for that category.But still,despite Saturday night's loss,they have the best record in the league at the moment.Their next game is Friday the 10th at home against the Florida Panthers.They're going to need the rest after that topsy-turvy playing schedule.
Last night,I sang for my friends and that went great.I actually tried three new songs.One by Kenny Chesney and two by Frank Sinatra.They all loved it.It was a great night and I had a great time.I left the place last night with a smile on my face.
Today,I managed to check up on a friend of mine and his live in girlfriend and they are doing good.They informed me that they were going to spend a week at her parents house and I asked them if they would keep me informed.They said they will.I also manged to do some shopping for my mom and I also got some shopping done myself for personal reasons.The day went by good.I managed to get a lot done and everything worked out for the better.I am now at home relaxing and I am glad.
Tomorrow is my appointment with my anger management counselor and I am hoping that goes well.Wednesday is my appointment with my counselor over at a Sexual Abuse Support Center here in my hometown and I am also hoping that goes well.I am also eventually hoping to attend that support group at the church.I again hope that this also works out.
I also managed to listen to the rest of that Big Blue Marble album last night and it was great.The music brought me back to my childhood when I used to watch the show every Saturday morning on an independant syndicated TV channel in my area.Again,the day went well and nothing negative to write home about(so to speak)and though I am feeling mixed emotions,I am still feeling a tad upbeat after posting all of this.
Thanks for reading and posting comments.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling much better and optimistic.Tonight,I am going to be singing for my friends and I am also hoping for yet another Buffalo Sabres victory tonight.I am going to be trying out a few new songs tonight and I am hoping that it will all work out.I always get a positive response no matter what I do but I always hope that it works out good.I also still have to practice for my nights because it's what I truly feel that I need to do to get things right.Again,I am still hoping for everything to work out and again,I am hoping for Buffalo Sabres victory tonight.Another win would be truly fantastic.
Today,I checked up on a friend and his live in girlfriend and they are doing good.I couldn't stay long because they had company over and personal stuff was being discussed.I did manage to get a few errands done and that made me feel good.I also received yet another new record album for my ever growing vinyl album collection.It is the hard to find soundtrack album for the TV series Big Blue Marble,which I used to watch when I was younger.That was a real treat.I even listened to the first side and so far,so good.It really brought me back.Today was good and nothing negative to report.I will be going to see one of my counselors on Monday and I am hoping that goes good.I also have a meeting with another counselor on Wednesday and I am hoping to attend that evening support group at the church.I am hoping that all of that goes well.
Comments are always welcomed.Thanks.FJ

Today was yet another work day and it went as usual.Nothing to write home about.But I have a three day weekend coming to me as always.I am glad for the much needed break from a lot of the people that I have to be around three days a week.Tomorrow night,I wil be entertaining my friends where I sing and that will be fun.
Today,I am checking in with mixed emotions.The main reason for my happiness regarding my three day weekend away from the people I am around three days a week is because I do have to put up with a lot of ignorance from people.One of them in particular is a lady who never has a clue as to what you are talking about nor what you like.This person has said that she never heard of Lynyrd Skynyrd nor does she know who they are.She always says "That's way before my time."and she does not know any other music other than country western music.Don't get me wrong,I like that type of music myself because I sing it as part of my act and I also sing Sinatra,Bennett,Manilow and other sorts of Vegas style songs.Peopel have told me that I am a combination of Vegas and Nashville rolled into one.Though I have never let that go to my head,it still makes me feel good to receive such a comment.But I just can't listen to only one type of music.I have to have a variety.What gets me is this:She happens to be at the age to know what I know but she always claims to not know it.When I mentioned almost a month ago that Mark David Chapman was denied parole,she asked "Who's He?"Some of the people I know at work have simply advised me not to get too upset about it and that she is in her own little world and she refuses to venture out of it.That lady is totally the opposite of me.I am trying to get out of my comfort zone(i.e.my own little world)and trying to live life the best way that I know how by sharing my singing talent and trying to be around people as much as possible.I will also be trying a new support group that is held on Wednesday night.It is based at a church within the county that I live.I will also keep you all posted on how that goes.Plus,the only movies she watches are horror movies.Again,don't get me wrong,I also love horror movies but not all of the time.Likewise with music,I got to have variety when it also comes to movies.I like comedies,dramas and movies based on true stories and inspired by actual events alongside animated,including Disney,and family films.But again,ignorance is everywhere and I do accept that.But how much is too much?I also wonder if there are limits to ignorance.
On a lighter note,I am also happy that the Sabres won last night.I was worried for a while when the Bruins dominated most of the game.But the Sabres came back to tie the score,force an overtime and have a shootout to win the game 5-4.It was surprising as well as a nail biter.They also made too many mistakes in the forms of turnovers and costly penalties,which they need to work on if they are to continue to do great.But again,I am happy that they won.Saturday night,they will host the Toronto Maple Leafs in Buffalo.I am hoping for another win.But this time,I hope that the Sabres can dominate this time and win big.Again,another win would be great.
Regarding SSA,nothing happened today and no impure thoughts came in nor any flashbacks.But they can happen when least expected.I have to be on guard.
Well,that was my day.It was not very eventful but at least I worked and that went as well as it could.Again,I am happy for the weekend.
Comments are welcomed.Thanks in advance.FJ

Tonight,I am checking in with mixed emotions.I once again had a rude awakening during the day today as I was taking a nap on the sofa at home after I had gotten home from work.I once again had a dream that I was in the middle of a room full of naked men.All of them surrounding me asking for sexual favors and I actually felt powerless within the dream as they were approaching me demanding that I at least gave them blowjobs.I woke up with a horrendous erection that was also throbbing.I am fortunate that I was on the sofa with a family member in another room.I guess that gave me a little strength because I never masturbate or even play with myself with another family member present in front of me.The erection died down within a few minutes.It was still a rude awakening but after it was all over,I felt good because I did not give in to the desire to fantasize by acting out on a fantasy.
On the other hand,I also feel good because my work day went well and that was great.I also mailed out a couple of important letters and that was an accomplishment.Plus,the Buffalo Sabres are playing in Boston tonight.I hope that they can win tonight.A win tonight would be neat.After that shocking shootout loss on Saturday night,a win would be truly sweet.I also had a talk with a good friend tonight over the phone and he's doing good.I always like it when a friend that I can confide in regarding these matters calls to check up on me.That was the only really good thing tonight.A Buffalo Sabres win would make the night even better.
As always,comments are appreciated.Thanks in advance.FJ

Today,I am feeling good but a little depressed at the same time.
Today,this afternoon,I gave into temptation by masturbating.I did feel miserable afterwards because,as I have typed up yesterday,I feel that masturbation poses a negative effect on my healing from unwanted SSA.I did not want to masturbate but I did and I felt lousy afterwards.I did ask my creator to forgive me and I felt better after doing so.But I still feel guilty about this and I feel that all I need is a good nights sleep to get over it.I wil feel better by tomorrow and I can just forget about it.I know that God wipes the slate clean after you ask to be forgiven for your sins and he forgets about it.
Why I feel good is that I had a very exciting day aside from that setback.I managed to find and add to my vinyl record collection,a rare UK pressing of an album by Genesis on Decca Records called Rock Roots.I also found a couple of albums by former member Steve Hackett called Spectral Mornings and Defector.I also managed to find a John Gary album called That Warm And Tender Glow and a couple of Tchaikovsky albums alongside the very first Average White Band album.A very eventfuul day despite the negative setback that happened.Again,after agood night sleep,I will feel better.
I am also in the middle of an emotional roller-coaster.My niece and her husband are seperated at this moment and it is putting the whole family on edge.We are all upset with her about to be ex-husband because he just simply left without saying goodbye nor giving any real reason as to why except that he does not love her anymore because she is "too controling".He is not doing much to help her or his family out.They have three children.Two daughters and one son.The son is the middle child.Again,it is a very hectic emotional roller coaster for me and my family and I never know what to expect anymore all because of this.
Any advice would be truly appreciated,including how I can fight the urge to masturbate.Thanks in advance.FJ

Happy Halloween Everybody.This is the night of thrills,chills and scares.It is also the night of watching horror movies non-stop.Speaking of which,I bought a new 75th Anniversary of Dracula on DVD today at Wal-Mart.It is a 2 DVD set of a the movie.The first DVD is the original Universal Picture Studios classic w/Bela Lugosi in the title role.It has commentaries by film historian David J.Skal and Dracula:Dead And Loving It's screenwriter Steve Haberman.It also has a Philip Glass composed film score performed by The Kronos Quartet(the movie originally did not have a film score due to the fact that it was made during the depression of the early 1930's and Universal had no money to pay a composer to write a score)but you have to select it from the Features menu before you hit Play to watch the film.Plus,it has two great documentaries.The first being a tribute to the great actor Bela Lugosi hosted by director Tod Browning and the next one is called The Road To Dracula,which is a behibd the scenes look at the making of this great film.The second DVD is a Spanish language version that was filmed at Ubiversal Studios at the same time as the American version.The differences is the cast,the director,and there was also a score.It is also in the Spanish w/optional subtitles in English,French and Spanish and an optional Englash dubbed audio.The American version was filmed during the day and the Spanish version was filmed at night.This also has an introduction by Lupita Tovar Kohner,who was in the Spanish version and there is also a Kenneth Branagh hosted documentary on Universal Horror Movie Classics.Plus,the Spanish version is 29 minutes longer than the American version.The American version is 75 minutes long.The Spanish version is 104 minutes long.
Today,worked went well.We had a little party where we watched Young Frankenstein and had pizza and chicken wings.We also had doughnuts,cupcakes and cider for dessert.It was a good day.I was in a great mood and it was also fun.Who says Halloween is just for kids only?
I was tired when I got home today.I laid down on my bed and I took a nap.As I had slept,visions of men with erections danced in my head and I kept hearing things like "I Need A Blowjob" and "I Want You To Suck My Dick!"I woke up with a horrendous erection in my own right and I had a craving to actually masturbate.I do not know what kept me from doing it but the craving was strong.My erect penis was also throbbing like crazy like it was waiting for me to masturbate it away.But again,I resisted and it fell limp in a few minutes.Again,I do not know what strengthened me at that point but it worked.Usually,I am not very good at resistance.I usually give in and ask for forgiveness later in prayer when I do.I think that masturbation has a negative effect on my healing process because it is acting out in a psychological sense(fantasy purposes)and I feel that it will only make my struggles with SSA worse.I always feel guilty when i masturbate because I do not feel that it is right to do nor is it a healthy way of relieving myself of sexual tensions.
I would like to know what a lot of you people think.What can I do to improve my strengths in resisting this temptation when it comes around.Any advice would be helpful.Thanks.FJ