Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.The last two days have been a mixed bag of feelings.Yesterday was my day off.I had two appointments yesterday.One with the Social Security office and one with my anger management counselor.The meeting with the social security people went well enough.But my anger management counseling session was not so successful.I was repeatedly emasculated by my counselor.I was accused of male chauvanism and he blamed me for why I had anger problems.This is not the type of counseling I was looking for nor needy for.I know that I need to learn to control my anger but this is the type of counseling that I really do not need.After one more month,I am terminating this.My supervisor at work assured me that it was okay for me to do so.Even my supervisor told me that I really did not need it anymore and that I was doing really good.So,after one more month,I am terminating this.I am going to go back to my regular medication management sessions at the hospital after next month.Regarding my anger management counselor,it was like he was telling me that I did not have the right to feel any way I want to.I do have to disagree with this.I am a person.I do have feelings.I do have the right to feel any way that I want to.I am also a man and I am going to be a man whether he likes it or not and I am going to be the man that I want to be whether it gets approval from people or not.I am determined to be a man and be the man I want to be.
Today was a work day.The work day went by fairly smoothly.The only setback was that a fellow colleague brought up to my attention a pornagraphic file picture that was supposedly found in the history during my time and I did not even see it before until he showed it to me.I simply said that I knew nothing about it and that was the first time that I had seen it.That actually went well and that also surprised me.The last time something like this happened I got so extremely angry because I was innocent of the charges that were brought against me at the time I knew that it was not mine.That last time,I was suspended from work and wound up in anger management counseling as a result because my supervisor felt it was best for me to do so at the time to save me from getting terminated.But this time,I did not get upset.I will still bring it up in prayer tonight with the creator up in Heaven and hope that this can be resolved in time.I hope that the real person will be found soon.But after that happened,I simply paid more attention to my work and spent more time doing more of my job and forgetting what happened.Though I was not upset,I was still angry because that file was not mine and I did not plant it in there.But still,I will bring it up in prayer tonight with God and hope that this can be resolved soon.I also hope that this does not happen again.
Tonight,I am feeling a bit better because the Buffalo Sabres have defeated the New Jersey Devils 3-2 in the Meadowlands.Their next game is Thursday night at home,which is a rematch with the Florida Panthers.I hope that the Sabres can avenge themselves for the loss on the 7th when the Panthers beat them in Florida by a score of 3-1.I hope that they can defeat them and avenge that embarrasing loss.
Well,that was the last two days.Thoughts are welcomed.FJ