Tonight,I am feeling okay.But I am also feeling hopeful and optimistic.The day today was pretty good.
My mom and I went grocery shopping to get some food in the house and to prepare.We are supposed to get a huge winter storm tonight and my mom wanted to make sure that the food was in the house just in case.At least,this has been accomplished and all we need to do is get the last minute holiday shopping in.There are still a few more people we need to get stuff for.But that will be done next week.
Tonight is my night to entertain the crowd.Starting tonight and next week,I will be doing Christmas music during my nights of entertainment.I have not decided what I am going to do but whatever songs that I choose,I am hoping that the night goes over well.As I have stated my times,though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I have a feeling that everything will go well tonight.But still,I always hope.
I am now at home relaxing.The weather is COLD and it is icy.Again,we are supposed to get a terrible winter storm but I am still going out.I will have to be careful driving home.Though I have gotten home many times in some really bad winter weather,I will still be careful and I will exercise safe winter driving skills.But I am hoping that the snow will not be as bad as it is predicted to be.But still,I will need to be careful.
Regarding tomorrow,I have not decided what I am going to do.But whatever I do,I hope that it affects me in a positive way.
That was my day today and my hopes for tonight and for the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.The work shift went by well and I did not have too much to do except what I had to do.The morning wroker does a very good job and I actually like how he works.I simply did what I had to do and bagged all clean and dropped it all off at the drug/alcohol rehab center and started home.
On the way home,I went to pay the car insurance.My niece paid me for the insurance this afternoon before I left for work and that was great.Again,on the way home,I paid for it and I am now all set for the month.
After that,I went and cashed my paycheck at the bank and went home.
My mom was already making dinner when I got home.It was homemade soup.The weather has been pretty cold as of late and a bowl of homemade soup really was the thing for it.It was wonderful.The soup really filled me up.After dinner,I did some more computer work and afterwards,I did a scan on my computer for viruses and spyware and my computer was clean.There were no viruses or spyware to be found and that was great.
Whiel teh scan was going on,my mom and I watched the classic animated specil Olive The Other Reindeer,which is about a dog who goes to the North Pole to help pull Santa's sleigh after Blitzen gets hurt.It was great.I own this on video and it was wonderful to watch without commercial interruptions.There was a repeat of one of my mom's favorite shows and we thought that we would watch this instead.Again,it was wonderful.
Tomorrow night is my night to entertain the crowd.I am looking forward to that.I am hoping that the night goes well.For the next two weeks,I am going to be singing Christmas songs.Because the holiday is near and I would like to get everybody into the spirit of things.I am hoping that evening goes well.
I will also be helping my mom with the grocery shopping tomorrow afternoon.I am hoping that we can get everything we need.
Regarding the rest of the weekend,I don't know what I will do.But whatever it is,I am hoping that it will have a positive affect on me.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The work day went by pretty smoothly but I am now feeling angry.
After work,I went home to relax a bit before taking my mom holiday shopping.I was a little tired and I needed some relaxation time to collect my thoughts and to recharge.
The shopping trip went as well as planned.My mother got almost everything that she needed to forget but she forgot a few other people.After shopping,we had two homemade sandwiches from Subway when we got home after purchasing them at a Wal-Mart location.
It was after we bought the sandwiches that my mom forgot the few other people that she was supposed to buy for.This is one of the reasons why I am feeling anger.The major reason is because my mom asked if she could borrow some money to make up for this.I am just wondering to myself WHY?!
It never fails.Each and every time I get ahead financially,I always have to loan my mom money.I am beginning to wonder.Is that woman psychic?Does she always know every time that I am ahead financially is the time to pester me for money?This is the main reason why I am feeling angry.I have my own money problems and this is what I don't need.I am already having enough stress trying to get my niece to pay her half of the insurance money ahead of the due date and now this.This is really starting to drive me up the wall.I understand that I sometimes have to do a little bit more for my mom but this is getting ridiculous.I felt that my mom should have thought twice before buying sandwiches from Subway because each time she makes a mistake,I end up bailing her out.This is becoming monotonous.I know that I will get paid back next month but I was hoping to use that money for gas for my car.Oh well.I guess that I will be bailing my mom out each and every time I turn around.This is why I am thinking of trying to be on my own.I am getting tired of taking care of this lady.I need to take care of myself and I sometimes can not bail my mom each and every time.If I am ahead money wise,I want to stay ahead.I should not have to bail out certain family members each and every time.At least,it is the way that I feel about it.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly.I am also hoping that the weekend goes better for me as well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day and weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting of a day today.I simply did the scheduled laundry pick-up that I was supposed to do and I also had lunch at work after doing so.After that,I simply got some gas in my tank and I also managed to mail out a few more holiday cards.It was pretty well.It was just getting on with life as always and trying to keep a positive attitude about it.
When I got home,I simply changed back into my PJ's to lay down.I had a difficult time trying to get to sleep last night after going to bed.Though I did take my medication and tried to go to sleep,I had a tough time.While trying to do so,I managed to have those damned flashbacks of me having sexual relations with men and I wound up masturbating to them.After I got back up to wash my hands and use the bathroom,I asked the creator to forgive me before I finally got to sleep.When I got home,I simply went back to bed to take a nap to catch up on some lost sleep and afterwards,I felt better.
When I woke up,I simply checked the daily mail that I had received and I also finished my personal computer work after having a light dinner.Before doing that,I washed my hair because I did not want my hair to look messy if I went out.I do believe in being neat and looking neat.
For much of the day,I was also feeling at edge.My mom has been harping me to help her with her holiday shopping and I keep telling her that it was on my agenda and I was going to do that and also that I had not forgotten it.I did promise to do it tomorrow.My mom has been harping me so much as of late.She has never let up.It has been like this the past several days.I am hoping that after tomorrow,I won't have to hear it anymore.
Earlier tonight,I went back to the Roman Catholic shrine to pray.I had to say prayers because of the sexual addictions that I have been trying to overcome and I also had to pray for a friend who had suffered a heart attack last week.My relapse last night coupled with my falling short by watching Gay pornography online over a few days span was the motivation for me to go out there and pray.After doing so,I felt better and I also left with a cleaner feeling about myself.When I drove home,I felt really good driving home and I also felt better about myself.I am hoping that the next few days are better for me.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well for me.After work,I will be helping my mom with her holiday shopping.I still need to complete my holiday shopping.It is almost done.I only have a couple more things to get.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am actually feeling great.I had a pretty good day today.Though the work day went by pretty tough and I also had to take some guff from my mother when I got home from work today,I managed to have a pretty good day today.The day weather wise was pretty rough.It was mostly a lot of rain and sleet but it was just a part of the season.It was also very cold today but not freezing.I still managed to get some things done today.I managed to do my job and get that done over all else and also drop the clean laundry off.Again,though the day was rough and I also had some really bad downs,I still hung in there and it was really neat.
I really did not have much time to relax after work.I was anticipating this evening and going to the new support group at another church.After I ate dinner,I managed to get some computer work done and leave to get to the meeting tonight on time.The church that I go to for meetings now is closer to home for me.It is just a 10-15 minute drive away for me.It's more convenient for me and I am glad.
I went there tonight and it was wonderful.I met some new men there and they are an awesome bunch of guys.I had a wonderful time talking with all of them and sharing the issues that I am dealing with,which is SSA and anger problems.It was really neat.I had a great time and the meeting was wonderful.I am looking forward to next week's meeting.I am looking forward to going to quite a few of the meetings in the next several weeks.I am also hoping that they are as wonderful as this one.But it was a wonderful meeting tonight and I am confident and sure that each and every meeting will be that way.Still,I will continue to hope.
Tomorrow is a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.As for the rest of the day,I have not made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it affects me in a positive way,.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.I ran an errand for my mom and I also managed to get some more mailing done.I had to mail a money order out to a friend of mine in California to get a few more DVD's of Big Blue Marble episodes.I am hoping that the money order gets there soon.I had delivery confirmation put on it so I can track it in the next few days.Again,I am hoping that the money order gets there soon.
Aside from that,I just had to do a little something for my mom and that was all.It was nothing much.It was just a personal thing that I had to do.But I got it done and that gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
Last night,I went out to have a few drinks with the guys at the place where I entertain and it was great.I had some laughs and great chit chats with the guys and gals who were there.I even played a few songs on the jukebox that was there.It was great to just be there and have some laughs and talk with the patrons.I will be going to do that again next Sunday.I will still be singing up a storm every Saturday night there but it is always great to just sit and chill with the people for just a few minutes.Again,I will be doing that again next Sunday night.
Tonight,my anger management/conflict resolution group meeting went great.It was wonderful to be in the group and share some stuff with them.I am looking forward to next week's meeting.
I also heard from a former support group at the church member that another church is starting another group.The first meeting will be tomorrow night.I will have to get directions to that church so I can go there tomorrow night.I am hoping that it will be as wonderful as the one that I used to go to.I know that I will be meeting some new people and getting to know them.I am looking forward to that tomorrow night.
The Buffalo Sabres lost tonight to the Boston Bruins by a score of 4-1 at home.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.I ran a few errands for my mom and I also mailed out the vast majority of my Christmas cards that had to be sent.These were staying in the USA and I wanted to get these out so they would get to the people on time before the holiday sets in.I still have a few more to be mailied out tomorrow,but those will be going out to other country's ;ike Canada and England.I also have one more local one to be sent out.I also have to send out a money order to a friend of mine in California to get a few more Big Blue Marble DVD's.I only have a few more things to buy for the holiday's.My shopping is almost done.I have only a few more things to buy.I am hoping that I can obtain them.With this being the holiday season,you never know if a store is going to have what you are looking for or if they are going to be out of stock.But I hope that I can get them.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.I did a tribute to John Lennon because it was the anniversary of his murder that happened 27 years ago.I still miss John Lennon to this very day.I am still feeling sadness and anger.Sadness because John Lennon is no longer with us.Anger at the man who murdered him.It was horrible what happened to John Lennon back in 1980.Again,my tribute to John Lennon went great and I also had a blast doing it.
The best thing about last night is that the Buffalo Sabres kicked ass.They clobbered the San Jose Sharks by a score of 7-1.It was great seeing them win after those two pathetic consecutive losses.But it is great that they won and it also made the night more wonderful.
Regarding the rest of the night,I might go out and have a friendly drink with the guys over at the place where I entertain.If not,I will just stay home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my night last night and my possible plans for the rest of the evening.FJ