Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting of a day today.I simply did the scheduled laundry pick-up that I was supposed to do and I also had lunch at work after doing so.After that,I simply got some gas in my tank and I also managed to mail out a few more holiday cards.It was pretty well.It was just getting on with life as always and trying to keep a positive attitude about it.
When I got home,I simply changed back into my PJ's to lay down.I had a difficult time trying to get to sleep last night after going to bed.Though I did take my medication and tried to go to sleep,I had a tough time.While trying to do so,I managed to have those damned flashbacks of me having sexual relations with men and I wound up masturbating to them.After I got back up to wash my hands and use the bathroom,I asked the creator to forgive me before I finally got to sleep.When I got home,I simply went back to bed to take a nap to catch up on some lost sleep and afterwards,I felt better.
When I woke up,I simply checked the daily mail that I had received and I also finished my personal computer work after having a light dinner.Before doing that,I washed my hair because I did not want my hair to look messy if I went out.I do believe in being neat and looking neat.
For much of the day,I was also feeling at edge.My mom has been harping me to help her with her holiday shopping and I keep telling her that it was on my agenda and I was going to do that and also that I had not forgotten it.I did promise to do it tomorrow.My mom has been harping me so much as of late.She has never let up.It has been like this the past several days.I am hoping that after tomorrow,I won't have to hear it anymore.
Earlier tonight,I went back to the Roman Catholic shrine to pray.I had to say prayers because of the sexual addictions that I have been trying to overcome and I also had to pray for a friend who had suffered a heart attack last week.My relapse last night coupled with my falling short by watching Gay pornography online over a few days span was the motivation for me to go out there and pray.After doing so,I felt better and I also left with a cleaner feeling about myself.When I drove home,I felt really good driving home and I also felt better about myself.I am hoping that the next few days are better for me.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well for me.After work,I will be helping my mom with her holiday shopping.I still need to complete my holiday shopping.It is almost done.I only have a couple more things to get.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ