Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than usual and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.I only had very little to do today and I wanted to get everything done.
I had only a couple of things that I needed to do.I first went to the drug store to pick up my prescription for the pain in my lower back.After that,I headed over to another local store to pick up something else.After paying for that,I headed straight home as since it was snowy and cold today,I had really nothing else to do.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start to improve positively in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I really didn't have any temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.This morning,when I woke up,I had really no temptations to masturbate nor any other temptations to act out by masturbating.While that was good,I know that I still have to stay on guard and be watchful because the temptation to act out by masturbating can be overwhelmingly strong and temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to stay strong and continuously be on guard against all temptations to act out by masturbating or any other way.While I escaped today,I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.Each and every day brings anything that is different,including the temptation to act out on my desires as a result of my struggles with SSA.
Tomorrow,I will be attending the mornings church service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans and hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed.I had some stuff that I needed to do and I wanted to start getting them out of the way.
I had to go to the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that,I dropped the money off at home and proceeded onward with the rest of what I had to do.
I had to do some shopping for my mom.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up several things and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After paying for all of those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve soon in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I didn't really feel any temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.I had no urges nor temptations to masturbate nor did I have any temptations to look at anything forbidden.Though today was good and I had nothing that would try to make me compromise,I still need to be on guard and to be watchful.Temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It can strike anytime and I need to stay on guard when that happens.I escaped today unscathed,but tomorrow is another day and so is the day after that and so on.I need to stay on guard and be watchful for any temptations.I will simply have to fight them when they happen.That is all that I can do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I had some stuff that I need to do.
I first went to a spirituality group that I needed to attend.I was looking forward to the group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group was wonderful as I got a lot out of it.After the group,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local community kitchen to have lunch and after eating,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit because I had yet another thing on my agenda today.I had a doctor's appointment to get myself checked out as a result of me having lower back pain for a while.I headed over to the doctor's office when it was time.
The session went well.The doctor advised me to get some x-ray's done on my lower back and call them for the results.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some things that my mom wanted me to get.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I hope that my recovery starts improving soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am feeling a little bit better after yesterday.I simply shared my relapses(I had a second one in the late afternoon yesterday)and I got some overwhelming support and encouragement from the groups that I ma a member of with whom I shared this with.It is wonderful to have all of that.The more support that I can get the better.As for today,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best and that was good.But still,I have to continue to gain more strength to resist the temptation to sin.I have to continue to resist the temptation to act out by masturbating as masturbation is a form of acting out.I have to continue to be strong and ask for more strength when I need it.Again,any support or encouragement is appreciated.Thanks.
As of tomorrow,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning hours and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I had quite a bit to do.
I first went to the post office to buy some money orders and mail out some important bills that needed to be mailed out.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few boxes of cereal.After the cereal was paid for,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to go positively soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours.Yes I did.I admit it.I masturbated a morning erection away.I really felt terrible after all of that.For a long time,I was resisting and doing good,until this relapse.I felt bad because I felt that I failed God and Christ in my endeavors.This relapse was terrible and as I have said before here,it really didn't make me feel like a man nor did it get me any closer to the full maleness that I want to achieve and need so I can feel like a man.This masturbation episode made the matter worse and I just didn't know whether I was coming or going.Though I felt bad about the relapse,I know that I have to move on and continue working on myself.It was really terrible giving into the unclean habit of masturbation,but I now have to move on and try to not let it happen again.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation will never give me what I want in terms of gender identity affirmation or feeling like a man.I also have to keep in mind that masturbation will never connect me to my lost maleness.I will just have to work on stopping to practice this unclean habit and get back on track.Again,I am open to any ideas or suggestions.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to the local Sears to pay my credit card bill and after that,I headed over to a tax office in another city within the region that I live in New York state and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some stuff that my mom needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff away and I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve soon as I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride for quite a while.I am hoping that it stops soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours by a morning erection,which woke me up out of a deep sleep.I was really tempted to masturbate that away,but I fought the temptation by tossing and turning until my penis softened.It was really tough,but I managed to resist successfully.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out in any way,shape or form was minimal if nil at best.Though I escaped again this morning,I still need to be on guard and be watchful.The temptation to sin by masturbating away an erection can be very strong and the urge to give into the temptation can be even stronger.Temptation is an ugly demon indeed.It is just as ugly as the SSA demon.I still have to keep on guard when that happens.Today was one thing.But there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I just have to keep fighting the temptation when it does rear it's ugly head at me.I just have to keep fighting,to stay strong and continue to resist when it happens.If any of you who read and follow this blog want to offer any words of encouragement,please do so.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have to buy a few money orders to mail out some important letters.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than usual and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately went into doing my personal PC work and before finishing it,I made an appointment with my general medical doctor because I am having a really bad pain in my lower back region and I would really like to get it checked out.I have an appointment for Thursday and I am hoping that the session goes well.
After I was done,I got dressed and I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.I had a couple of groups that I needed to attend and I wanted to make sure that I got there in time for them.
Both the group meetings went well.I did get a lot out of them.After the last meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to buy a couple of things for myself.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed over to my insurance agents office to pay my car insurance for the month.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.It was also another throbber.It was really difficult to resist,but I managed.I again tossed and turned until my penis softened.It was a tough thing,but I got through it.After that,I fell back asleep and had no troubles for the rest of the time.When I finally got up,I simply settled into my normal routine.For the rest of the day,I had no temptation to act out on my desires in any way,shape or form.My temptation or urge to act out was minimal if nil at best for the rest of the day.I simply went through the day and nothing really happened.Though I escaped this morning,I still have to be on guard and be watchful because temptation can rear it's ugly head yet again when least expected.I am not waiting for temptation to come around,but I know that it can happen again and I have to be on guard and be watchful.As stated,I escaped this morning,but there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I still have to fight temptation when it does indeed rear it's ugly head again.There will be many more urges to battle and I want to be ready for them when they happen.
Tomorrow,I will be going to a tax office to file my income tax return.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans as well as hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I dried up and had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The class was terrific.We watched 1/8 of a DVD about the history of the church and it was great.It was interesting to see how the Christian church got it's start and I was glad to have attended this.I will be attending each and every class until the summer.I have been enjoying these classes and I always look forward to each and every one of them.After that,we all got ready for the service afterwards.
The service was very wonderful.The fellowship before and after the service was terrific.After all of that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a quick lunch,got my laundry together to go to the laundromat to get my laundry done and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed over to the laundromat.
On the way there,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to pick up something to munch on while I was at the laundromat.After paying for that,I headed straight for the laundromat and I started my laundry the minute that I saw that a machine was open for use.After putting my laundry in and starting the washer,I sat down and relaxed and enjoyed my munchies.
It only took a little over an hour,but I managed to get my laundry done and after folding it all when dried,I bagged it all and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I sorted out my laundry and after that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts improving soon in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted in the wee early morning hours when an erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was very stiff and it was also a throbber.As usual,when I get an early morning erection,I simply tossed and turned until my penis softened.I was tempted to masturbate that away,but I stayed strong and I fought that urge to masturbate.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best.While I escaped the rest of the day,I know that the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form will come back when least expected.I just have to keep fighting that urge when it comes and I hope that I can beat the urge again when it comes.Temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to be prepared when that does happen.Temptation is an ugly master and it can make you want to do things that are wrong and inappropriate,especially when it comes to that ugly demon known as SSA.I have to always keep in mind that I own my sexuality and that my sexuality doesn't own me.I am going to continue to learn to make my body a slave and not be a slave to my body.It is a difficult fight,but I know that I can win the fight and keep choosing to resist and fight temptation rather than give in.It will be difficult,but I know that I can do it.
Tomorrow,I have a couple of group meetings that I need to attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans and hopes for the day ahead.FJ