Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply went out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed and after paying for that,I headed for a local Salvation Army thrift store to look around,but didn't buy anything.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and caught up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to deal with schizophrenic tendencies at the same time.This psychiatric double whammy that I have is a really difficult thing to deal with as well as endure.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I ask him to get me through in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me level.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when an erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I turned to the opposite side and when that didn't work,I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection die down and I didn't lay back down until my genitals were fully soft.I went back to sleep after laying back down.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful things that are connected with SSA.I was tempted to watch online porn.I was also tempted to lust and fantasize after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside that particular temptation because sexual images of men were flooding my mind.I also got tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I stayed home as I didn't want to feed that urge.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day as these temptation kept coming at me.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges as they came at me.I didn't want to fall again as I did three consecutive times this week,as I am still having anxiety over the whole situation of me looking for work,and not getting any calls from the places that I applied to for an interview.I have been making that a matter of prayer also and I keep praying about it constantly.While I have been doing that,I am also again asking that all of you keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA,and to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I haven't made any other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Friday, June 14, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I Had a few things planned.
The main thing that I had planned was that I went to a local place to fill out a handwritten job application in and also,I included my resume and the business card for the counselor of the local job placement agency.After doing that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and caught up on some reading that I have been putting off.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this struggle to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I really talk hard about it and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed to head for the bathroom as I had to use it.After I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did could my mind as I did this,but fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into this temptation and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting,but I kept up in prayer all through the day and I prayed for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts here on my blog.I also ask that you leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave a comment of any kind.Please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA that I am struggling with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I Had a few things planned.
The main thing that I had planned was that I went to a local place to fill out a handwritten job application in and also,I included my resume and the business card for the counselor of the local job placement agency.After doing that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and caught up on some reading that I have been putting off.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this struggle to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I really talk hard about it and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed to head for the bathroom as I had to use it.After I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did could my mind as I did this,but fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into this temptation and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting,but I kept up in prayer all through the day and I prayed for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts here on my blog.I also ask that you leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave a comment of any kind.Please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA that I am struggling with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery still continues moving onward,despite some setbacks.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual spirituality group,which went well.After that,I had lunch at a local kitchen and after eating that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and caught up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery has been moving onward.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal and struggle with as it keeps getting tougher and tougher by the day.If having to deal and struggle with BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult to deal with.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with and endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply pray hard about this struggle and I talk to my Heavenly Father about it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and also,they both help keep me on a normal level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a little bit better as I still have to contend with the varied and complex emotional patterns of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to say some things here and I am going to be very blunt and honest in regards to this.I have given into temptation three times this week.Yes,I have fallen and though it has made me miserable,I do truly believe that I have been forgiven by my Heavenly Father as I truly believes that he does forgive in an extremely huge way and through the power of his son Jesus Christ,I know that my slate of sins has been wiped clean.The reason why I have been falling so much this week is because I have been very overly anxious lately in regards to finding a new job.I have put in many applications online and in person and so far,I haven't received any calls for an interview.I have been trying and waiting in vain to find work and keep hoping that I get a call to come in for an interview at any/all of the places that I have applied.This anxiety that I have been feeling is behind my three consecutive falls this week as I fell again in the late afternoon yesterday.I am not saying that the anxiety is excusing it,but it is behind why I have been falling so much as of late.Again,I am not saying that it excuses the failings,but that they motivated them.I am really in desperation in regards to looking for a new job as I love to work hard for my money and be dedicated in doing the hard work that I am assigned.It is just that I love to work and I am hoping something comes soon.Today,I was tempted minimally,but I did pray for strength to fight and resist these minimal temptations,but temptation is still temptation no matter how minimum or maximum it can be.Tomorrow,I am going to go to a place where I applied online and submit a hand written application to them as I called them yesterday and I asked about the status of my application as I did apply online and they simply advised me to come into their office and fill out an hand written one as well.I am going to make copies of my resume so I can something to staple onto the application and I am also going to staple a business card of the job placement counselor that has been working with me.I know that I shouldn't be overly anxious about things as the Holy Bible advises those who are believers not be to be overly anxious,but I am a human being and I do have anxieties of every kind.I am not only human,but also imperfect,and I do sin and fall short from time to time.I mean,just because I am a believer and I do pray,and I do go to church each and every Sunday,doesn't mean that I an not infallible.I am still a fallible human being and I do and will fall short from time to time.The best thing about that is that my Heavenly Father is there to forgive me whenever I do.He forgives me in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I ask to be forgiven for sinning and falling short.Aside from the job hunting anxiety,I still get pressure from mental health professionals to go out and live the sinful sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle,but I already know that this is not what my Heavenly Father intended for anyone of us to live.Our Heavenly Father created male and female and we are all biologically hard-wired for male/female compatibility as anything else other than that is unacceptable to him.Our Heavenly Father doesn't recognize Homosexual/Gay sexual activity or anything connected with it.He only recognizes healthy and happy Heterosexuality and accepts no substitutes.I have to continue keeping that latter in mind day in and day out each and every day.It isn't easy,but I am still working on that and trying to keep my mind clear of any other alternative worldly thinking in the area of sexuality.To everyone who follows my blog and reads that posts,I am again asking that all of you keep up in prayer for me and also to please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.One of my blog followers and good friends has done that and I am extremely grateful to him for doing that.I am again asking that many other followers to do those very same things.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for their prayers and their encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of going to file a hand written application at a place where I applied online,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual spirituality group,which went well.After that,I had lunch at a local kitchen and after eating that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and caught up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery has been moving onward.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal and struggle with as it keeps getting tougher and tougher by the day.If having to deal and struggle with BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult to deal with.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with and endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply pray hard about this struggle and I talk to my Heavenly Father about it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and also,they both help keep me on a normal level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a little bit better as I still have to contend with the varied and complex emotional patterns of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to say some things here and I am going to be very blunt and honest in regards to this.I have given into temptation three times this week.Yes,I have fallen and though it has made me miserable,I do truly believe that I have been forgiven by my Heavenly Father as I truly believes that he does forgive in an extremely huge way and through the power of his son Jesus Christ,I know that my slate of sins has been wiped clean.The reason why I have been falling so much this week is because I have been very overly anxious lately in regards to finding a new job.I have put in many applications online and in person and so far,I haven't received any calls for an interview.I have been trying and waiting in vain to find work and keep hoping that I get a call to come in for an interview at any/all of the places that I have applied.This anxiety that I have been feeling is behind my three consecutive falls this week as I fell again in the late afternoon yesterday.I am not saying that the anxiety is excusing it,but it is behind why I have been falling so much as of late.Again,I am not saying that it excuses the failings,but that they motivated them.I am really in desperation in regards to looking for a new job as I love to work hard for my money and be dedicated in doing the hard work that I am assigned.It is just that I love to work and I am hoping something comes soon.Today,I was tempted minimally,but I did pray for strength to fight and resist these minimal temptations,but temptation is still temptation no matter how minimum or maximum it can be.Tomorrow,I am going to go to a place where I applied online and submit a hand written application to them as I called them yesterday and I asked about the status of my application as I did apply online and they simply advised me to come into their office and fill out an hand written one as well.I am going to make copies of my resume so I can something to staple onto the application and I am also going to staple a business card of the job placement counselor that has been working with me.I know that I shouldn't be overly anxious about things as the Holy Bible advises those who are believers not be to be overly anxious,but I am a human being and I do have anxieties of every kind.I am not only human,but also imperfect,and I do sin and fall short from time to time.I mean,just because I am a believer and I do pray,and I do go to church each and every Sunday,doesn't mean that I an not infallible.I am still a fallible human being and I do and will fall short from time to time.The best thing about that is that my Heavenly Father is there to forgive me whenever I do.He forgives me in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I ask to be forgiven for sinning and falling short.Aside from the job hunting anxiety,I still get pressure from mental health professionals to go out and live the sinful sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle,but I already know that this is not what my Heavenly Father intended for anyone of us to live.Our Heavenly Father created male and female and we are all biologically hard-wired for male/female compatibility as anything else other than that is unacceptable to him.Our Heavenly Father doesn't recognize Homosexual/Gay sexual activity or anything connected with it.He only recognizes healthy and happy Heterosexuality and accepts no substitutes.I have to continue keeping that latter in mind day in and day out each and every day.It isn't easy,but I am still working on that and trying to keep my mind clear of any other alternative worldly thinking in the area of sexuality.To everyone who follows my blog and reads that posts,I am again asking that all of you keep up in prayer for me and also to please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.One of my blog followers and good friends has done that and I am extremely grateful to him for doing that.I am again asking that many other followers to do those very same things.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for their prayers and their encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of going to file a hand written application at a place where I applied online,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda today.
After having a light lunch at home,I went out to get my hair cut and after that,I went to do a little bit of shopping at the local Super Wal-Mart.After doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit of reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While mt rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation by masturbating.I really felt terrible after that and feeling so remorseful after doing this,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and also begged for my Heavenly Father to show me his mercy as I did this as I was really and truly sorry and repentant for doing this.I did feel better after doing so as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that my slate of sins were wiped clean.I did keep busy throughout the day so I wouldn't fall again.I am going to have to try and keep working on praying hard whenever these sorts of temptations come around.I don't want to keep falling every time I turn around.I know that my Heavenly Father forgives in a large way,but I don't want to feel that I am abusing this.I am still going through a lot of emotional issues and I am anxious as I want to find a job,but so far,though I have turned in applications,I haven't heard from none of the places that I have applied to as of yet.I am still hoping that I will indeed find a new job and I have been praying continually for that as well.I am asking that all of you keep up in prayer for me and also please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and fight.They also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda today.
After having a light lunch at home,I went out to get my hair cut and after that,I went to do a little bit of shopping at the local Super Wal-Mart.After doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit of reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While mt rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation by masturbating.I really felt terrible after that and feeling so remorseful after doing this,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and also begged for my Heavenly Father to show me his mercy as I did this as I was really and truly sorry and repentant for doing this.I did feel better after doing so as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that my slate of sins were wiped clean.I did keep busy throughout the day so I wouldn't fall again.I am going to have to try and keep working on praying hard whenever these sorts of temptations come around.I don't want to keep falling every time I turn around.I know that my Heavenly Father forgives in a large way,but I don't want to feel that I am abusing this.I am still going through a lot of emotional issues and I am anxious as I want to find a job,but so far,though I have turned in applications,I haven't heard from none of the places that I have applied to as of yet.I am still hoping that I will indeed find a new job and I have been praying continually for that as well.I am asking that all of you keep up in prayer for me and also please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and fight.They also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went out to drop off some free newspapers at a few select people's houses.After that,I turned in a couple of applications for employment at a couple of local places.After that,I paid a visit to a friend to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and caught up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD and the symptoms of that disorder.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the daily,or at times,the minute/moment changes of my mood,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing sounds and/or voices that nobody else but me hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this to my Heavenly Father and I really talk hard about this particular struggle and I share this with him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in keeping me sustained and also,to keep me on a normal level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated.There was some lusting and fantasizing involved in this and yes,I gave into it.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and I did feel better afterwards as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and my sins were forgotten by him.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father as the temptations kept coming at me.I didn't want to fall short again and I kept up in prayer all day and tried to stay as busy as I could while trying to keep my mind on all things holy.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blogs and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through a really difficult emotional time.I am also asking that you all leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.Please leave me words of encouragement in the comments section and also,please keep up in prayer for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went out to drop off some free newspapers at a few select people's houses.After that,I turned in a couple of applications for employment at a couple of local places.After that,I paid a visit to a friend to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and caught up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD and the symptoms of that disorder.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the daily,or at times,the minute/moment changes of my mood,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing sounds and/or voices that nobody else but me hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this to my Heavenly Father and I really talk hard about this particular struggle and I share this with him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in keeping me sustained and also,to keep me on a normal level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated.There was some lusting and fantasizing involved in this and yes,I gave into it.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and I did feel better afterwards as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and my sins were forgotten by him.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father as the temptations kept coming at me.I didn't want to fall short again and I kept up in prayer all day and tried to stay as busy as I could while trying to keep my mind on all things holy.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blogs and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through a really difficult emotional time.I am also asking that you all leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.Please leave me words of encouragement in the comments section and also,please keep up in prayer for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, June 10, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I had to pay a visit to the job placement counselor today to talk with him about a few things.After the 10 minute meeting,which went well,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and I finished eating,I headed straight home.
When I got home,as a result of the day being rainy,I stayed home and finished my personal PC work.I also did some work around the house that I needed to do.After finishing that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,enduring and putting up with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to endure and put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden as Psalm 55:22 says to do and I ask for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure and get me through the negatives and the difficulties and they both help in not only sustaining me,but also work with me to keep me on a normal level plain.It makes me feel a tad better knowing that they are there.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last long.I turned to my left side and I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist this temptation and as I prayed,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside this.I asked my Heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations because they were really overwhelming.After praying,I felt much stronger and more able to carry on throughout the day.I kept up in prayer and I felt better doing so.Though I have been doing this,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I also ask that you leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as well.I need some encouraging words,alongside the prayers,to help keep me going in this fight and struggle as they both make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal form the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I had to pay a visit to the job placement counselor today to talk with him about a few things.After the 10 minute meeting,which went well,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and I finished eating,I headed straight home.
When I got home,as a result of the day being rainy,I stayed home and finished my personal PC work.I also did some work around the house that I needed to do.After finishing that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,enduring and putting up with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to endure and put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden as Psalm 55:22 says to do and I ask for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure and get me through the negatives and the difficulties and they both help in not only sustaining me,but also work with me to keep me on a normal level plain.It makes me feel a tad better knowing that they are there.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last long.I turned to my left side and I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist this temptation and as I prayed,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside this.I asked my Heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations because they were really overwhelming.After praying,I felt much stronger and more able to carry on throughout the day.I kept up in prayer and I felt better doing so.Though I have been doing this,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I also ask that you leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as well.I need some encouraging words,alongside the prayers,to help keep me going in this fight and struggle as they both make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal form the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, June 09, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.
I also decided to pay a visit to a friend who I hadn't seen in a while to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to relax and do a little reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still enduring the whole struggle with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD and the nasty symptoms that this type of disorder has.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia alongside the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through this difficult struggle with this psychiatric disability that I have and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better as both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ are leading the way.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation during the wee early morning hours and yes,sexual images of men were also clouding my mind.I sat up and proceeded to walk to the bathroom as I had to go and that made the erection soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and also,right back to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful sexual fantasizing and lusting after other men and yes,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to get them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping was not far behind.I prayed to my Heavenly Father all through the day whenever these temptations came around.I asked for strength to help me fight and resist all of these temptations and I asked him for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I felt better after doing so and also,much stronger.While I am doing that,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts here.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but when they visit,they rarely leave comments.Plus,when comments aren't left,I feel that I am struggling alone and that nobody cares about helping someone like me.Please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I continually ask this because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of an appointment that I have with my job placement counselor,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.
I also decided to pay a visit to a friend who I hadn't seen in a while to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to relax and do a little reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still enduring the whole struggle with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD and the nasty symptoms that this type of disorder has.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia alongside the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through this difficult struggle with this psychiatric disability that I have and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better as both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ are leading the way.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation during the wee early morning hours and yes,sexual images of men were also clouding my mind.I sat up and proceeded to walk to the bathroom as I had to go and that made the erection soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and also,right back to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful sexual fantasizing and lusting after other men and yes,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to get them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping was not far behind.I prayed to my Heavenly Father all through the day whenever these temptations came around.I asked for strength to help me fight and resist all of these temptations and I asked him for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I felt better after doing so and also,much stronger.While I am doing that,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts here.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but when they visit,they rarely leave comments.Plus,when comments aren't left,I feel that I am struggling alone and that nobody cares about helping someone like me.Please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I continually ask this because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of an appointment that I have with my job placement counselor,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
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