Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I spent the rest of the morning doing my personal PC work.After it was done,I relaxed for a while and I decided to watch a documentary DVD that I popped into the DVD player.After it was over,I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and I watched a little TV.I also started preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My car is still out of commission at this moment.When it will be back,I don't know when.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,in the mid afternoon,I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations as I really didn't want to give Satan and his minions what they wanted me to give them.They are trying everything in their power to get me to disobey my Heavenly Father and his perfect law in regards to sexuality.It actually started to get worse as a result of the problem that I am having with my car.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.I threw everything on him and when I was finished,I felt stronger as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I went through the rest of the day with no problems nor troubles,but continued to stay on guard and be watchful.I have to continue keeping in mind that Satan and his minions can strike at any time during the day or at any other time.I don't want to give Satan and his minions what they want as I want to do what is right in my Heavenly Father's eyes,but my sinful nature,which Satan loves to use against me,wants me to do what is the opposite.I have to continually stay on guard and be watchful.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that y'all please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I also need all the positive verbal support that I can get.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments in the comments section.Your support in both of these areas is very important to me and it also works in a variety of ways.It also matters to me because I do need boosting and upbuilding.They both help keep me going.They also help reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue your prayerful support and also,please leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Friday, June 13, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I did my personal PC work and I simply relaxed for much of the day as I had nothing to do nor anyplace to go due to the reality that my car is out of commission right now.
For the day,I relaxed and spent a lot of time online.I also watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.After that was over,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though I am still feeling guilty about this,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind and alongside the genital manipulation,I gave into fantasizing and lusting after other men and when I was at the point of orgasm,I masturbated the rest of the way.I really felt miserable after this and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I asked him to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall and I told my Heavenly Father everything and I left nothing out.I prayed for a while and when I was finished,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.After that,I had some rough going for the rest of the day.The rough thing was that my mind was being pelted with sexual images of men.I also had temptations to act out again by fantasies and lusting after these sexual images of men.I didn't want to give in again and later this afternoon,acting on the advice of the former pastor who visited me two days ago,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and told him about the temptations that were getting thrown at me.I told my Heavenly Father that I didn't want to give into any temptations and that I hated that I was getting pelted again by sexual images of men.I also said that I hated that I was still finding men sexually attractive and that I hated everything connected to Homosexuality/SSA in general.I also asked my Heavenly Father what was holding me back from becoming the man that he wants me and intends me to be,as well as the man that he wants me to be.I asked him that as tears were starting to come down my eyes.I really don't know how my Heavenly Father will answer that.I really have no idea on how he communicates with us through prayer when we ask him something.If anyone has any ideas,please share them with me in the comments section.I really need answers and I would appreciate some.Fellow blog followers and readers,while I would appreciate some answers to what I asked here,I am again asking that you continue to keep me in your prayers and and also,please leave me some positive verbal support.I would really appreciate some support right now because I am really going through some rough stuff right now with temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have and I don't want to act out on them.Because acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have will never give me what I want and need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the authenticity that goes with that affirmation.Please pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I did my personal PC work and I simply relaxed for much of the day as I had nothing to do nor anyplace to go due to the reality that my car is out of commission right now.
For the day,I relaxed and spent a lot of time online.I also watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.After that was over,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though I am still feeling guilty about this,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind and alongside the genital manipulation,I gave into fantasizing and lusting after other men and when I was at the point of orgasm,I masturbated the rest of the way.I really felt miserable after this and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I asked him to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall and I told my Heavenly Father everything and I left nothing out.I prayed for a while and when I was finished,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.After that,I had some rough going for the rest of the day.The rough thing was that my mind was being pelted with sexual images of men.I also had temptations to act out again by fantasies and lusting after these sexual images of men.I didn't want to give in again and later this afternoon,acting on the advice of the former pastor who visited me two days ago,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and told him about the temptations that were getting thrown at me.I told my Heavenly Father that I didn't want to give into any temptations and that I hated that I was getting pelted again by sexual images of men.I also said that I hated that I was still finding men sexually attractive and that I hated everything connected to Homosexuality/SSA in general.I also asked my Heavenly Father what was holding me back from becoming the man that he wants me and intends me to be,as well as the man that he wants me to be.I asked him that as tears were starting to come down my eyes.I really don't know how my Heavenly Father will answer that.I really have no idea on how he communicates with us through prayer when we ask him something.If anyone has any ideas,please share them with me in the comments section.I really need answers and I would appreciate some.Fellow blog followers and readers,while I would appreciate some answers to what I asked here,I am again asking that you continue to keep me in your prayers and and also,please leave me some positive verbal support.I would really appreciate some support right now because I am really going through some rough stuff right now with temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have and I don't want to act out on them.Because acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have will never give me what I want and need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the authenticity that goes with that affirmation.Please pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for much of the day and listened to some music and I also watched some cartoons and music videos online.
For much of the day,since my car is out of commission,I simply relaxed and took it easy.I didn't watch any TV as there really wasn't anything on for me to watch.I just relaxed,watched some videos online and listened to some music.
Earlier today,I had heard from a friend and schoolmate that they would pick me up for tonight's study group.I told them that I would be available for the time to pick me up.After that,I relaxed a little bit more and just enjoyed the rest of the rest of the afternoon.
Later on in the day,I heard from the friend and schoolmate that the study group tonight was canceled as a result of her mother not feeling well.I told her to wish her mother get well wishes on my behalf and that was it.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon getting out of bed,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind.Fortunately for me,I stopped myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything and when I was finished praying,I felt much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I went through the rest of the day with no problems,but I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute.I don't want to give Satan and his minions what they want.I still need to work on being tough with myself.I also still need to work on showing these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I won then and not the other way around.I am really serious about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me.I would also appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and daily.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.I need positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.Prayers do work and yes,even positive verbal support works.The positive verbal support reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Alongside the prayerful support,the positive verbal support help keeps me going and makes me more determined and motivated to continue in this process of healing and change.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for much of the day and listened to some music and I also watched some cartoons and music videos online.
For much of the day,since my car is out of commission,I simply relaxed and took it easy.I didn't watch any TV as there really wasn't anything on for me to watch.I just relaxed,watched some videos online and listened to some music.
Earlier today,I had heard from a friend and schoolmate that they would pick me up for tonight's study group.I told them that I would be available for the time to pick me up.After that,I relaxed a little bit more and just enjoyed the rest of the rest of the afternoon.
Later on in the day,I heard from the friend and schoolmate that the study group tonight was canceled as a result of her mother not feeling well.I told her to wish her mother get well wishes on my behalf and that was it.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon getting out of bed,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind.Fortunately for me,I stopped myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything and when I was finished praying,I felt much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I went through the rest of the day with no problems,but I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute.I don't want to give Satan and his minions what they want.I still need to work on being tough with myself.I also still need to work on showing these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I won then and not the other way around.I am really serious about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me.I would also appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and daily.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.I need positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.Prayers do work and yes,even positive verbal support works.The positive verbal support reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Alongside the prayerful support,the positive verbal support help keeps me going and makes me more determined and motivated to continue in this process of healing and change.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had two cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished with my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and ready for a visit with a former pastor in regards to SSA.When he arrived,I let him in and he also had a friend with him who sat in on the conversation.
The conversation,which went for about 45 minutes,was wonderful.He supplied his e-mail address and we shook hands as they left.After they left,I did my personal PC work.After that was finished,I did some more work around the house that had to get done.After that was done,I relaxed for a while did some reading online.After doing some more personal PC work,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I relaxed and enjoyed some music.Later on,as the day wound down,I did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,as a result of the visit with the former pastor,I had no temptations to indulge in anything sinful in regards to acting out by fantasies and lusting.I still was tempted to look up some online porn,but instead chose to watch some music videos and cartoons online,which killed that particular temptation.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I need to still stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions can strike at any time and I have to be prepared when they do.When they do,I need to go to my Heavenly Father and ask for strength to help me fight and resist the temptation.I need to really work on this and show my Heavenly Father that I mean it when I say that I want to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also need some positive verbal support in the comments section as well.I really need some support of both kinds as I really don't have much of a support network in my hometown.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in terms of my determination and motivation.The positive verbal support also reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would like for all of you who visit my blog regularly to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had two cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished with my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and ready for a visit with a former pastor in regards to SSA.When he arrived,I let him in and he also had a friend with him who sat in on the conversation.
The conversation,which went for about 45 minutes,was wonderful.He supplied his e-mail address and we shook hands as they left.After they left,I did my personal PC work.After that was finished,I did some more work around the house that had to get done.After that was done,I relaxed for a while did some reading online.After doing some more personal PC work,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I relaxed and enjoyed some music.Later on,as the day wound down,I did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,as a result of the visit with the former pastor,I had no temptations to indulge in anything sinful in regards to acting out by fantasies and lusting.I still was tempted to look up some online porn,but instead chose to watch some music videos and cartoons online,which killed that particular temptation.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I need to still stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions can strike at any time and I have to be prepared when they do.When they do,I need to go to my Heavenly Father and ask for strength to help me fight and resist the temptation.I need to really work on this and show my Heavenly Father that I mean it when I say that I want to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also need some positive verbal support in the comments section as well.I really need some support of both kinds as I really don't have much of a support network in my hometown.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in terms of my determination and motivation.The positive verbal support also reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would like for all of you who visit my blog regularly to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did some checking up online and after that,I decided to have my usual quick breakfast early.Before I showered,I did some more cleaning up around the house and when that was finished,I showered quickly.After my shower,I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I decided to relax and take it easy for a while.Since my car is out of commission right now,I have nothing to do nor anyplace to go.
I simply spent most of my time online as I tried to keep myself busy by reading things online,such as news articles and Wikipedia pages.I also did a little bit more cleaning up around the house to keep myself busy.I am hoping that my car can get fixed soon as I really need it.After doing a little bit more of the cleaning,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and I relaxed while watching it.I also did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though it is,I had no problems with temptations today.It was a relief,but I still need to continue to stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions can strike at any minute of any day.I want to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.I have to show the unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask in the name of his son Jesus Christ for the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I want to avoid sinning against my Heavenly Father as much as possible.Fellow blog followers and readers,I would appreciate it if you would continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real badly and desperately as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time with my car out of commission at the moment.I really need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get.Your support in both of these areas do help me in a big way.They really do.They both help keep me going each and every day.They also show me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a visit at my house by a former pastor who also has struggled with SSA in his own life,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did some checking up online and after that,I decided to have my usual quick breakfast early.Before I showered,I did some more cleaning up around the house and when that was finished,I showered quickly.After my shower,I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I decided to relax and take it easy for a while.Since my car is out of commission right now,I have nothing to do nor anyplace to go.
I simply spent most of my time online as I tried to keep myself busy by reading things online,such as news articles and Wikipedia pages.I also did a little bit more cleaning up around the house to keep myself busy.I am hoping that my car can get fixed soon as I really need it.After doing a little bit more of the cleaning,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and I relaxed while watching it.I also did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though it is,I had no problems with temptations today.It was a relief,but I still need to continue to stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions can strike at any minute of any day.I want to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.I have to show the unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask in the name of his son Jesus Christ for the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I want to avoid sinning against my Heavenly Father as much as possible.Fellow blog followers and readers,I would appreciate it if you would continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real badly and desperately as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time with my car out of commission at the moment.I really need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get.Your support in both of these areas do help me in a big way.They really do.They both help keep me going each and every day.They also show me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a visit at my house by a former pastor who also has struggled with SSA in his own life,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, June 09, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I had to make a couple of phone calls and I went and did my personal PC work.After that,I cleaned up around the house for a while and I relaxed for a bit.
Since I have no car at the moment,I have no place to go or anything to do.I simply stayed home and just caught up on some much needed work that had to be done.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to enjoy a little music and I also did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though I am a little fearful and scared to admit this,I gave into temptation twice today.I gave into the temptations to fantasize and lust after other men and I also manipulate my genitals to these images and I finished by masturbating the rest of the way.On both of these occurrences,I prayed to my Heavenly Father and I asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.However,on the second occurrence,I also asked for my Heavenly Father to show his mercy as I sinned a second consecutive time and it was the same thing.I begged for his mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ alongside asking for forgiveness.I prayed real hard on both of these occurrences and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything and when I was finished the second time,I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my Heavenly Father showed me his mercy when I asked for it regarding the second consecutive fall.I really need to start getting really tough on myself.I need to start making it a habit of going to my Heavenly Father daily and asking for strength to help me fight and resist whenever temptation rears it's ugly head on me.I can't let these unnatural sexual desires own me.I have to own them and not the other way around.I need to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Instead of enhancing the lives of others,in particular,men,it only destroys and wrecks lives and leads people on the road to nowhere.I need all the help and support that I can get from my fellow blog followers and readers.Please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also need some positive verbal support in the comments section real bad.I get many visitors to my blog,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real badly and desperately.They both help keep me going,They also help reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me strong in terms of both my determination and motivation.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I had to make a couple of phone calls and I went and did my personal PC work.After that,I cleaned up around the house for a while and I relaxed for a bit.
Since I have no car at the moment,I have no place to go or anything to do.I simply stayed home and just caught up on some much needed work that had to be done.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to enjoy a little music and I also did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though I am a little fearful and scared to admit this,I gave into temptation twice today.I gave into the temptations to fantasize and lust after other men and I also manipulate my genitals to these images and I finished by masturbating the rest of the way.On both of these occurrences,I prayed to my Heavenly Father and I asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.However,on the second occurrence,I also asked for my Heavenly Father to show his mercy as I sinned a second consecutive time and it was the same thing.I begged for his mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ alongside asking for forgiveness.I prayed real hard on both of these occurrences and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything and when I was finished the second time,I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my Heavenly Father showed me his mercy when I asked for it regarding the second consecutive fall.I really need to start getting really tough on myself.I need to start making it a habit of going to my Heavenly Father daily and asking for strength to help me fight and resist whenever temptation rears it's ugly head on me.I can't let these unnatural sexual desires own me.I have to own them and not the other way around.I need to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Instead of enhancing the lives of others,in particular,men,it only destroys and wrecks lives and leads people on the road to nowhere.I need all the help and support that I can get from my fellow blog followers and readers.Please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also need some positive verbal support in the comments section real bad.I get many visitors to my blog,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real badly and desperately.They both help keep me going,They also help reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me strong in terms of both my determination and motivation.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, June 08, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful,exciting and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had a cup of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had another cup of coffee and my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and I phoned my niece and she took me to church today so I could be there for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
It was an exciting day in church this morning as it was not only the day of Pentecost,but it was also Confirmation Sunday as six youngsters were confirmed today.I also did another Holy Bible reading in church in front of the congregation this morning and there was also Holy Communion.
The whole morning in church was wonderful.After it was over,I phoned my niece and she picked me up and we headed for home.
On the way home,we stopped at the local Sears so I could pay a bill there and after that,we went to a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things.After we were finished,we headed straight home.She dropped me off first and she headed for home.
When I got into the house,I got out of my suit and into a pair of shorts and started to do my personal PC work.Later on,as I was doing this,my niece came back over and she did my front lawn and when she was finished,she went back to her own house.I finished my personal PC work and I even had a talk with a former pastor who called me and we talked about struggles with SSA.We are hoping to meet this Tuesday and after we finished talking and hung up,I decided to do some cleaning up in the kitchen and after it was finished,I received another phone call from a friend who I have been reconnecting with through Facebook and we talked for a few minutes.After we hung up,I ate.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful,exciting and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I was tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and I really needed my Heavenly Father to give me strength to help me fight and resist.I prayed and I prayed until the temptation was nil and when I was finished,I felt stronger as I truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I went through the rest of the day with no problems,but stood on guard and continued to be watchful as Satan and his minions could strike again any minute.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I still need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time and I need all the support that I can get.Your support helps keep me going.They also continue to reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this struggle.They also help keep both my determination and my motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I don't have much planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had a cup of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had another cup of coffee and my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and I phoned my niece and she took me to church today so I could be there for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
It was an exciting day in church this morning as it was not only the day of Pentecost,but it was also Confirmation Sunday as six youngsters were confirmed today.I also did another Holy Bible reading in church in front of the congregation this morning and there was also Holy Communion.
The whole morning in church was wonderful.After it was over,I phoned my niece and she picked me up and we headed for home.
On the way home,we stopped at the local Sears so I could pay a bill there and after that,we went to a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things.After we were finished,we headed straight home.She dropped me off first and she headed for home.
When I got into the house,I got out of my suit and into a pair of shorts and started to do my personal PC work.Later on,as I was doing this,my niece came back over and she did my front lawn and when she was finished,she went back to her own house.I finished my personal PC work and I even had a talk with a former pastor who called me and we talked about struggles with SSA.We are hoping to meet this Tuesday and after we finished talking and hung up,I decided to do some cleaning up in the kitchen and after it was finished,I received another phone call from a friend who I have been reconnecting with through Facebook and we talked for a few minutes.After we hung up,I ate.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful,exciting and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I was tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and I really needed my Heavenly Father to give me strength to help me fight and resist.I prayed and I prayed until the temptation was nil and when I was finished,I felt stronger as I truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I went through the rest of the day with no problems,but stood on guard and continued to be watchful as Satan and his minions could strike again any minute.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I still need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time and I need all the support that I can get.Your support helps keep me going.They also continue to reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this struggle.They also help keep both my determination and my motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I don't have much planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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