Tonight,I am feeling prettyy good.I had a not too eventful day today.I simply ran a few errands for my mom today because I had to pick up a few things for dinner.Before I ran the errands,I stopped in on a friend and his live-in girlfriend to see how they were both doing.They were both doing pretty good.I sat and talked with them for a few minutes and they also had to do some stuff.I left and finished what I had to do.I picked up everything my mom needed and I went home.I had a bath and we ate dinner.
The weather today was mild.The sun was shining but there was no humidity.This was very easy to deal with.It was also a nice break after all the humidity that we have had to deal with for a while.Again,nice weather today and that was great.A nice break from all the humidity.
I am going to be doing my usual entertaining the crowd tonight.I am looking forward to singing up a storm for my friends tonight and that is great.I am hoping that the night goes well.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I am keeping an upbeat mood and I have a feeling that it will be a great night.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I do not know what I will do tomorrow but I know that whatever I do,I hope that it is something special and fun.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tonight.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I had a pretty smooth work day today.I was called into work by my supervisor today because the normal morning cleaner person called in sick and they called me to fill in.I agreed and I went into work to do some cleaning around the work place.It wasn't too hard.I actually held down a cleaning job once before and this was pretty much a snap.I did it in about 2 hours.After that,I did my afternoon job,which is the usual laundry.After I dropped off the clean,I went to a Blockbuster in the area and bought a new movie and I also bought three more at a Dollar Tree store that was next door.I also stopped at the bank and cashed my paycheck.Overall,a pretty smooth work day.
I am just glad that the weekend is finally here.It was a pretty mixed bag of emotions for me this week and I am glad that it's over finally.I am looking forward to singing up a storm tomorrow night.I am hoping to try at least one new song tomorrow night.If not,there is always next week.But I am looking forward to tomorrow night as much as I do every Saturday night.I am hoping that the night goes well.
I did a virus scan on my computer and there was a virus on it.It was a Trojan Horse type virus called Trojan.ByteVerify and I had to do the normal routine to remove it from the system.I am hoping that I have succeeded.I have to do another scan tonight to make sure that I have.I am hoping that it's gone.
Other than that,it was a pretty good day today.I am hoping that the weekend goes well enough.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

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Tonight,I am actually feeling better than I was yesterday.I had a pretty good day today.I went to do the laundry pick-up today and it was easy.There was no big mess to clean up and that was wonderful.When i got home,I went back to bed because I still felt tired due to a lack of sleep the night before.When I woke up,I felt refreshed and I went to run an errand for my mom today afterwards.I took it easy for much of the afternoon.
Later this afternoon,my niece called and said that she needed somebody to babysit her children because she had just got called into work to fill in for somebody who had called in sick.It was one of those spur of the moment things.But I did not stay home for too long when they were dropped off.I had a meeting tonight and after I ate a light dinner,I left.
The meeting was wonderful.We had a lot more men in the group tonight.Last week,we did not have too many but tonight,there was quite a bit of men there to get whatever they had to get off of their chests.It was great for me to hear some of what the men had to say and it was also great for me to get relieve myself of some more emotional baggage that had piled up over the past few day,including my relapse.Again,the meeting was wonderful and I got quite a bit out of it tonight.I am definitely looking forward to the next meeting.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly for me.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty smooth work day today.But something happened within me mentally that I do not know.All of a sudden,I started saying angry things to myself this afternoon as I was driving home.I do not know what sparked it and I guess that I will never know.I am hoping that this does not happen for a long time because I do not want to scare anybody away from me nor do I want to make anybody afraid of approaching me.That would really made me feel down if this would happen.I would also feel all alone if it were to happen.I don't want that to happen.I want people to approach me and even want to talk to me.I have not done that in quite a while.All of a sudden,I am starting all over again and I don't know what sparked this again.Again,I don't want people to be afraid of me nor do I want to make people afraid of approaching me.I am not going to dwell on this but I am going to continue to work on this until I can get to the root of the problem.I don't want to do this forever and I want to keep an even balance of my emotions.
What also added to this dilemma is that I masturbated.I felt miserable at first when I gave into this temptation.Not only that,my emotional state also contributed to why I gave in to this.Since I was in a negative emotional state,I was starting to have mental images of men with or without clothes on or even without their pants on and their genitals at full erection.I also had an image of me romancing with another man and performing sexual favors for them,mostly oral sex,which was my addiction before I started abandoning the Gay lifestyle.I have only had frequent occasional flashbacks but this was the first time in a long time that I was inundated with so much that I did not know whether I was coming or going.After giving in,I asked the creator to forgive me and then I forgave myself afterwards.I felt better after doing that and I am feeling a little bit better.But I am going to talk with the creator again tonight before I go to sleep.I still have an awful lot to talk with him tonight.I am just hoping that the rest of the week goes well enough.I don't need any more of what happened to me today emotionally.
Tomorrow is simply a pick up day.It won't be that long.After doing that,I can go home and rest up.I also have a meeting with my support group at the church and I am hoping that the meeting goes well,too.The weather is supposed to be wet tomorrow and there is really not a lot to do when it rains.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.The day was pretty nice and not as humid.It did rain this morning and early this afternoon for starters but the weather was nice throughout the day and that was good.
I did not do too much today.I ran an errand for my mother to get a few things for her today.I also helped a friend clean out his garage and he gave me a whole bunch of empty bottles and cans as a way of saying Thanks for all my help.I turned them in while I was running the errand for my mom and it was quite a bit of money.That was great.I also had to turn them in because I needed to have room to put the laundry bags tomorrow morning when I do the pick-up to start my work day.Not only that,some of the people around my work place would also be bugging me about me having them in my car because of some of the client's past problems with drugs and alcohol.I can sympathize with that.But also,a person working to overcome drugs and alcohol will usually give in because they wanted to give in to their old habit and simply use the empty bottles as a crutch(i.e.excuse)to give into their old habits that they are trying to give up.But again,I do sympathize with their policies and their concerns and I turned them in to avoid any confrontations.
I also managed to stop in a Salvation Army thrift shop in my area and I bought a bunch of 45 r.p.m.records,a few old tapes and some more dress pants and shorts.Again,not too eventful of a day but it was great to get out in the community and just be around other people for a while.I had some fun and I did help someone I knew out.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the work day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling great.I had a very good day today.It was very eventful.The day was also sunny out and I had a feeling that I was going to have a wonderful day.
Today,me and my mom went to my uncle's 50th anniversary party and it was a great party.My uncle and his wife were glad to see us.I was also glad to see all of my cousins and we talked about lots of things.The main event of this was that my uncle and my aunt renewed their wedding vows with a priest there to make it happen.It was a wonderful experience.After the renewed vows,the priest sat down with some of his relatives and I had some talks with them.The priest was a swell guy with a great sense of humor.His relatives were swell people,too.They also had a slide show reflecting on the 50 years that they were married and even that was something.Each and everybody there marveled at this on how everybody in the family had changed and matured through the course of their lives and how my uncle and his wife's marriage had gotten stronger through those years.There was also a lot of food to go around.I did eat alot,I admit.But I had fun and I did not have to eat anything else throughout the day and that was good.I actually had lunch and dinner at the same place at the same time.It saved my mom from cooking something at home.Again,a wonderful day and lots of stuff to talk about for many years to come.
Last night,my night of singing was also wonderful.There was also quite a few people there like last week.Of course,it was not as much but it was still a great big crowd and that was terrific.I was well received for all the songs that I did and that made me feel even better about what I did.It also motivates me to do it again next Saturday night and the Saturday night after that.There were some guys and their girlfriends there who actually sang alongside me as I sang the Toby Keith song I Love This Bar because I dedicated the song to them.They also like all the other songs that I sang as well and again,that made me feel good.As stated,it motivates me to do it again and again.I love and enjoy what I do and I can hardly wait for next Saturday night.I am hoping that next Saturday night will be great.
Last night did not start off too positively.One of the female bartenders suffered really bad chest pains and could not hardly breathe or even talk.Many of the people who were outside with her were waiting for an ambulance to take her to the local hospital because they were afraid that she was having a heart attack or something.The ambulance arrived to take her to the hospital to have her analyzed to see what was going wrong.Fortunately,it was just the stress of working too much that made her suffer the chest pains and that her heart was okay and nothing else was wrong.The doctor advised her to stay off her feet for a while and rest.He also assured that she would be fine in just several weeks.
Tomorrow is my day off.I don't know what I am going to do but I know it will be fun or vice versa.
That was my day today,my night last night and my hoped for day tomorrow.