Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had two cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done cleaning myself up,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed back out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did a little bit more personal PC work and watched a little bit of TV.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two that I struggle with.Today,upon arising,I was tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and to manipulate my genitals to the sexual images of men that were clouding my mind.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard for that strength and I pleaded with my Heavenly Father to help me.I prayed until the temptations were reduced to nothing and when I was finished praying,I felt much stronger as I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.For the rest of the day,I had no problems with temptations.I simply went out and did what I had to do throughout the day and it kept my mind off of the negative stuff.I simply did my shopping and ran into people as well as talked to them.I went through the rest of the day with no problems.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I need the support of my fellow men,including and especially those who are Christian and who also struggle.I need both types of support real desperately as if I don't get any verbal support,I feel alone.The positive verbal support given reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me going.They also keep both my motivation and determination strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After my breakfast,I got dressed and I headed out to a local kitchen for lunch and when I was finished,I went and did some shopping at various stores in the area.After I was finished shopping,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I started to prepare a light evening meal.
After eating,I headed back out again to attend my Friday night recovery group,which was as wonderful as I hoped that it would.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,I was tempted to act out by fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.This time,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and prayed for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard for that strength as I didn't want to fall into sin again like I had the last several days of this week.After I was finished praying,I felt much stronger and also,knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I had no problems for the rest of the day.I was out in the community and kept my mind on what I had to do while out and about.I simply ran the errands that needed to be run and I kept up with everything.I just stayed out and did what I had to do because it had to be done.It was wonderful that I had no problems with temptations for the rest of the day.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to still work on being tough with myself and make praying for strength from my Heavenly Father a daily thing and also,to ask him to help keep my mind and heart pure and clean from all immoral thoughts in the sexual vein.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also would appreciate a few encouraging words in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please leave me some positive verbal support alongside your prayers.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support to help keep me going in this particular struggle and also,positive verbal verbal support reaffirms that I not alone in this particular struggle as I feel alone when nobody posts any positive verbal support in the comments section.Please continue keeping me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wound up waking up at noon and when I did,I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After a while of being up,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I left the house to take my youngest grand-niece to her dance lesson.After that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up some things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started preparing my evening meal.I also did some more personal PC work while waiting for my meal to get ready.
After eating my evening meal,I did some more personal PC work and I also listened to a little bit of music.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and the most difficult one of the two,SSA.Today,I again gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and this time,I wound up ejaculating as a result of that.I really felt miserable when this happened as I had failed my Heavenly Father yet again for the fourth consecutive time.After washing my hands,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I begged for his forgiveness and mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin and I prayed for his forgiveness and mercy as I was sorry for what I had done.I prayed and I prayed and I left nothing out and when I was finished,I felt better and Truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I am now going to make it my resolution to go to my Heavenly Father and pray for strength to help me fight and resist these urges.I need to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.I really want to heal from and overcome this terrible emotional condition.I don't want the unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to own them and not have them own me.Again,I need to get really tough with myself and also,make it my resolve to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges and temptations when they come around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Your prayerful and positive verbal support helps keep me going and reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I Choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that,I went out to visit a new pizzeria that just opened up and decided to give their pizza a try,which was very good.After eating,I headed over to my sister's house to pick up something and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy a few more food items.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and did some more personal PC work.After that,I relaxed for a short time listening to a little bit of music before heading back out to a Lenten dinner in my church's fellowship hall.
The Lenten dinner was wonderful.There was some wonderful fellowship and I had a blast.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and did a little bit more personal PC work.I then decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two struggles that I have.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation again by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.I really felt miserable as this was the third consecutive fall that I have had over the last three days.Fortunately,I immediately stopped myself and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I pleaded for my Heavenly Father's forgiveness as I was sorry for what I had done.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short.When I was finished praying,I felt much better as I knew that I was forgiven for my sins.The thing is this;I need to really get tough on myself when I arise in the mornings.Though I am awake with my eyes,my mind really isn't fully awake at that time.As a result of that,Satan and his minions can take advantage of this to take over my mind by having sexual images of men cloud my mind at their disposal.They also know that I know the truth about SSA and that I am still working on doing something about it.They are trying everything in their power to manipulate my way of thinking and try to get me to change my mind about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.I need to tell them to hit the road constantly because I don't want these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA to own me.I want to own them and tell them that I won't let them define who I will be nor dictate to me how I will act.I have to constantly keep in mind that the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong in the eyes of my Heavenly Father.It is also sinful,unacceptable and above all,obscene,degrading and destructive.I have to continually keep that in mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.I also need them desperately as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments of any kind.Both of these types of support help keep me going and also,the reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,I would really appreciate some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed for the job placement agency to sign some job applications that my job placement counselor/coach and the head of the agency filled out for me.They also made copies of my resume for the applications and they even made a few extra copies for me.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something light for lunch.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and I did my personal PC work.After that,I had lunch and I left the house again to go to an appointment that I had with my urologist.
The session with the urologist went well as I got a clean bill of health.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a small country store to pick up a few things.After paying for these things,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up some canned vegetables.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the canned vegetables away and I started to prepare my evening meal.While it was in the oven,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.I also listened to some music and read for a while.I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.This morning upon arising,I again gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for falling short in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short.I prayed and I left nothing out.When I was finished,I felt much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.For the rest of the day,I had no problems with temptations nor any problems with sexual images clouding my mind.I simply went on with my day by going to both my appointments and simply keeping my mind on the things that I needed to do.Though I escaped the rest of the day with no problems,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day and also,desperately because when I don't get any positive verbal support in the comments section,I feel that I am alone.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section alongside your prayers.I need both of these types of support to help keep me going and to keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a Lenten dinner in my church's fellowship hall,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning with the phone ringing.I answered it and it was the head of the job placement agency informing me that I have to come in tomorrow to fill out some more job applications and have them turned in.After we talked for a few minutes,I hung up the phone and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I also had my usual quick breakfast and since it was mid morning,I simply decided tow ash my hair over the sink and I got dressed to head over to a local kitchen for lunch.After that,I headed over to the post office to get a money order so I could pay my car insurance.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I paid a couple more bills over the phone and I showered quickly to clean up.After my shower,I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I headed back out to get a couple of things for me to eat for dinner at the local Super Wal-Mart.
After eating my light dinner,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation twice by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.The first occurrence was in the morning upon arising and the second occurrence was in the early afternoon.I really felt miserable after both of these occurrences,especially after the second one.On both of these,I went to my Father in prayer and asked him to forgive me for my falling short in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short and really prayed for my Heavenly Father to forgive me as I was really sorry for my sins.When I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I am still a work in progress as I really need to start getting really tough on myself.I have to show these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA that I own them and not the other way around.I want to show my Heavenly Father that I am truly serious about wanting to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.I do want to heal from this terrible emotional condition.I also want to overcome this terrible condition as well.It is just that I can't keep doing these things and going to my Heavenly Father to ask for forgiveness constantly.I don't want my Heavenly Father to think that I am abusing these divine gifts that he has for us in regards to his forgiveness.I need to really start getting tough on myself and show these unnatural desires that I won them and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my meeting with the head of the job placement agency and my later appointment with my urologist,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

This particular post on here will be a catch-up on the last two days.I forgot to post my day yesterday.My rocky road to recovery still continues moving forward.
Yesterday,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.I showered quickly afterwards and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I headed over to my monthly Men's Network meeting,which went well,although not too many men attended this time around.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a nearby Salvation army thrift store and bought a few things.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Sears to pay a bill.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I headed back out to another area of the county where I live and I went shopping at the Salvation Army thrift store that was there.After having lunch at a nearby Denny's,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something for dinner and other things that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I did some more personal PC work.I had my light dinner and I relaxed for the rest of the evening.It was a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Today,I had a wonderful and eventful day.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee to wake up.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed up in a suit and I went to church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things for lunch and a few other needed things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my lunch and put the other stuff that I bought away.After that,I did my personal PC work.After that,I went out to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I went to another Super Wal-Mart that is in another area of the county that I live.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Over the past couple of days,my rocky road to recovery still continues to move forward,I had been on a roller coaster ride in regards to my struggles with SSA.My BPD/Schizophrenia have stayed stable thanks to my medication,but my SSA struggles have not been stable.I have been enduring overwhelming temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA and I have given in a couple of times,and on both occasions,I have asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ while at the same time,I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short on both of these occasions.These were the usual fantasizing and lusting after other men and manipulating my genitalia to these images of men clouding my mind.Temptation can strike anytime anywhere and even this morning,I was tempted twice and I asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resists these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and prayed for strength to help me fight and resist and after I was finished,I felt better and much stronger as I truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for and needed.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support right now and desperately as I am really going through a very difficult emotional time right now.I need both your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.They both reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They both help keep me going and keep both my motivation and determination strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in another job application,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my last two days and my hopes and plans for the start of the new week ahead.FJ