Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning with the phone ringing.I answered it and it was the head of the job placement agency informing me that I have to come in tomorrow to fill out some more job applications and have them turned in.After we talked for a few minutes,I hung up the phone and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I also had my usual quick breakfast and since it was mid morning,I simply decided tow ash my hair over the sink and I got dressed to head over to a local kitchen for lunch.After that,I headed over to the post office to get a money order so I could pay my car insurance.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I paid a couple more bills over the phone and I showered quickly to clean up.After my shower,I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I headed back out to get a couple of things for me to eat for dinner at the local Super Wal-Mart.
After eating my light dinner,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation twice by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.The first occurrence was in the morning upon arising and the second occurrence was in the early afternoon.I really felt miserable after both of these occurrences,especially after the second one.On both of these,I went to my Father in prayer and asked him to forgive me for my falling short in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short and really prayed for my Heavenly Father to forgive me as I was really sorry for my sins.When I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I am still a work in progress as I really need to start getting really tough on myself.I have to show these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA that I own them and not the other way around.I want to show my Heavenly Father that I am truly serious about wanting to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.I do want to heal from this terrible emotional condition.I also want to overcome this terrible condition as well.It is just that I can't keep doing these things and going to my Heavenly Father to ask for forgiveness constantly.I don't want my Heavenly Father to think that I am abusing these divine gifts that he has for us in regards to his forgiveness.I need to really start getting tough on myself and show these unnatural desires that I won them and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my meeting with the head of the job placement agency and my later appointment with my urologist,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ