Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after having a light lunch,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned.I first went to a local hair place to get my hair cut.After that was done,I headed over to a friend's place to see how he was doing.After my time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My unpredictable emotional and mood make-up,which is very complicated,can be hard to decipher or how it could be from day to day,or at times,from moment to moment within the same day.I never know how my emotions nor moods will be.It is bad enough that I struggle with BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I also have to put up with hearing sounds and voices that nobody else hears alongside the emotional roller coaster ride of having BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to fight this overwhelming urge to masturbate the erection away.I tossed and turned repeatedly until the erection softened and I slowly fell back asleep again.Though I escaped this episode,I had to fight the temptation to act out by masturbating or by simply manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and then stopping,but at times,it leads to ejaculation.Yes,at times,there is lusting involved in that latter thing.I continually prayed throughout the day as these temptations came around.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptations were reduced to nil.I prayed much through the day and I felt better each and every time that I prayed.I willfully refuse to let the unnatural desires that I have define who I am as a person nor will I dictate to me how I will be or act.I am a man and a member of the male sex and aside from being a human being,that is all that I am and I am nothing more than that.My body,the way that it is made,is biologically hard-wired to be compatible with that of a female as God,when he created us humans as man and woman,never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing sexuality.I also keep working on not letting sexual stuff dominate my thinking and try to keep a pure and clean mind in regards to sexuality.It isn't easy to do,but it can be done.I just keep praying and praying to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus constantly and it always makes me feel better.I am also still asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads every post that I write here.I also ask that you post encouraging comments and share whatever advice of comments that y'all can provide.They help keep me going and keep me even more determined to heal and overcome SSA even more.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.It is great that I am never alone in my SSA struggle.Thanks again to God and Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money.After that,I headed home to register all the money on Where's George and after that was done,I headed over to the post office to have a money order made so I could send the payment to the finance company with whom I have a credit card with.After that,I headed over to the local Sears to pay my credit card bill with them.After that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some stuff that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to a nearby supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I again managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues moving forward,the road is still a very rocky one.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods change by the day or at times by the minute on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and as a result of me having them,it makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing things and sounds that others can't hear other than me.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining.I am not saying that human therapy and medication are no good,but the power that God gives in the name of his son Jesus Christ is greater than anything that any type of human therapy can provide.It helps sustain me and I feel a little bit better as a result of me talking about the BPD/Schizophrenia struggle with God and Christ as they give power beyond anything that humans can provide.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out a deep sleep.I simply turned to one side and after that,the erection died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still get tempted by the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and it gets even more difficult by the day.You resist the temptation to act out one day,but it gets stronger the next day.The fight to resist to act out on the unnatural desires related and connected with SSA is a very difficult fight at that.It seems that the desires want to own me rather than me owning them.I can't let that happen.I have to continue keeping in mind God's perfect law regarding sexuality and what he intended sexuality to be as he created and gave it.I am always praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I continually refuse to let the unnatural desires that I have define me and refuse to let the dictate to me how I will act and be.I am a male as well as a man and as far as being human goes,that is all that I am.My body is biologically hard-wired for compatibility with a female as God created man and woman for a reason.God never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world around us uses and abuses it.I continually pray to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day to keep me strong as I throw every temptation onto God in Jesus' name and I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil.Still,I am asking for prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog.Please pray for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section of my blog.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and support.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do as well.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is continuing to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did most of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to my Thursday morning Spirituality group and I got a lot out of that.After that was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed over to an appointment that I had with a case worker over at a local office.
The meeting with the case worker went great and after that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my home suit and finished my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and while doing that,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,despite a rocky road,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods change at times from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.I never how my moods or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a tad better.Both God and his son Jesus Christ help sustain me and after that,I can move on with the rest of the day.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a few minutes and after the erection softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still get tempted throughout the day as I go along with it.But instead of giving in or simply thinking of these impure and unclean things,I now throw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through every temptation that comes around.I throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I ask for strength to fight and resist the temptation and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It is great to rely on God more than on my own strength.I am also still asking for prayers by those who follow and read my blog regularly and I am also asking for encouraging words as well.Both are always appreciated.Thanks in advance to everyone for prayers offered and for the encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Happy Halloween to everyone out in the world.
Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned.The most important thing was that I had to take my car to a garage where my sister does business with and have them do that much needed repair work that I needed so my car could pass inspection this year.It was to replace the passenger side ball joint.It took about an hour and it was finished.After paying for the repairs,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I went to a local supermarket to pick up one more thing.After paying for those items,I got some gas in my tank and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I had lunch.After lunch,I watched some Halloween themed specials on DVD.After that was done,I finished my personal PC work.I even managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also watched a few old reruns on TV.I also watched one more Halloween themed special DVD and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to move forward,the road is still a little rocky.I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods or even my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me through and after that,I feel a little bit better as they help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to worry about and I am not alone in my struggle.I feel better knowing that God and Christ are there.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened and after that,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though Ii did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in genital manipulation for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping.But I kept throwing it all on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the temptation and to give me strength to fight and resist each and every urge.I always felt better after praying hard about the temptation and asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help strengthen me to fight and resist the temptation to indulge in impure and unclean follies such as masturbation or simply manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect to masturbate or to the point of orgasm and stopping.After that,the temptations are reduced to nil.I am also still asking for prayers from everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts and also,asking for some encouraging comments and support.Thanks in advance for everything provided by my followers and readers.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group in the morning,followed by lunch at a local kitchen.I also have an appointment to meet with a case worker.As for the rest of the day,I am just going to stay home,relax and take it easy.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after doing some work around the house,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a small thing on my agenda for today.
The only thing that I had on my agenda today was that I had to take my car in to get inspected at a garage that my locally living sister referred me to.My youngest nephew and I headed over there and when we arrived there,it took almost ten minutes to let me know that all I needed was a passenger side ball joint to pass inspection.After the appointment to do the work was made,which will be tomorrow morning,I dropped my nephew off at home and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in.
While my recovery continues onward,despite a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods or emotions can be up and good one day or one minute and then the next day or minute,down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle.I simply throw my struggles on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help is sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggles and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation when I manipulated my genitals until I ejaculated in the wee early morning hours.I felt really terrible as a result of this failure and I really begged for God to show his mercy on me for this third consecutive fall.I really asked for God to forgive me for this fall in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I was actually in tears as I prayed so hard for God to forgive me falling this third consecutive time.I am really going through an awful lot of emotional issues right now and it isn't pretty.I really need to start buckling myself down and really fight to resist these sorts of temptations.Each and every time that I fail,I always feel miserable and since this was the third consecutive fall,it really felt like a crushing weight on me.Again,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for this fall and I begged for God's mercy for sinning again.I felt better,but I really need to start really fighting these urges now as I am going through this terrible emotional time right now.I am also still seeking prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts and I will continue to keep praying myself.Thanks in advance for your prayers as they are appreciated.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,an extra special Thanks to God for his forgiveness of my sins.
Tomorrow,I have that appointment to get my passenger side ball joint on and then have it pass inspection.I am just going to relax and take it easy for the rest of the day as I will have nothing else to do.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward,despite a rocky road.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my building and improving self esteem group and that went as well as expected.After the group,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of skim milk and after paying for that,I headed over to the local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few other things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home to stay as there was a high wind warning going into effect in the mid afternoon and it would also be rainy throughout the rest of the day.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.After that,I did some recommended Holy Bible reading while waiting for the oven to heat up so I could prepare dinner.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and after watching some classic TV reruns on TV LAND,I watched another movie that I popped into the DVD player.Overall,a pretty fair day as a result of the remnants of Hurricane Sandy coming into my area with the high winds and all the rain.When something like this happens,there really isn't an awful lot to do at all,except to just stay home and make the best of the negative situation.That is what I did.I simply stayed home and watched a couple of movies and I enjoyed myself.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods or even my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I also continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting to unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking to God whenever the emotional roller coaster ride or the hallucinations seem to be getting unbearable.It is great that I have them to go to whenever the struggle gets really difficult.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation again early this morning when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable when I fell short and I immediately asked God in the name in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling short and I really felt better knowing that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I was being tempted to act out in many ways and I kept throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and each and every time,I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil.I did it throughout the day and I felt better.It is a relief that I don't have to suffer guilt anymore as a result of failing and that is great.Thanks again to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have to take my car to a local garage to get inspected and I am hoping that it works out well.I am just going to relax and take it easy for the rest of the day after that.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still ongoing.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and headed for church.As usual,I attended both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers in Christ,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up my prescription and a couple of medicines for colds.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit and did my personal PC work.It was a lot,but I got it done.After that,I called my sister and I arranged to pick up her house key so I can go into her house and do my laundry.
It took an hour and a half,but I got it done,After that,I returned my sister's house key to her and headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my laundry bag away and decided to fold the laundry up and sort it out tomorrow after I get home from my group.After doing that,I relaxed and popped A DVD into the DVD player to watch it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work,Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.Since returning to church over a year ago,I have really been enjoying my worship and also feeling the love,friendliness and acceptance by everyone that I worship with.Though today was a dismal rainy day,I still felt great as a result of me going to church today and really getting my spirituality fulfilled.The church I worship at,the worship is truly a joy indeed and I have been enjoying it each and every minute of going to church each and every Sunday.I have a feeling that these joyful feelings that I have been experiencing are going to continue for a long time to come and perhaps the rest of my life on this very Earth that I am living on.I am also still keeping up on daily Holy Bible readings and constantly praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every day.I now know and truly believe that the Lord Jesus and his father led me there.Thanks to them for doing so.
While my road to recovery is still ongoing,it is still a rocky road indeed.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory on a one day at a time basis.It is never an easy thing to deal with and it can get very difficult.I never how my moods or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,I feel a tad better.It is simply a matter of asking God in his son Christ's name to help sustain me in my struggle and keep me on an even level.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated.I really felt miserable for falling and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling.I also prayed to God in the name of Christ later on when guilt started to set in later on and I felt better after that.This really shows that I really have to ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to really help me to fight and resist the urges that come around when least expected.I have to learn to go to God whenever this happens.Throughout the day,I was tempted again and I continually asked God to help give me the strength to fight and resist these urges.I am also asking for prayers by those who follow my blog and read the posts for prayers.Thanks to everyone in advance for them and I am going to continue in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ myself.Thanks to both God and Christ for their help.
Tomorrow,I have a building and improving self esteem group and I am hoping to get a lot out of it.As for the rest of the day,I am going to stay home and simply sort out and fold all of my laundry.I will then relax and watch a DVD or two.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ