Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money.After that,I headed home to register all the money on Where's George and after that was done,I headed over to the post office to have a money order made so I could send the payment to the finance company with whom I have a credit card with.After that,I headed over to the local Sears to pay my credit card bill with them.After that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some stuff that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to a nearby supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I again managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues moving forward,the road is still a very rocky one.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods change by the day or at times by the minute on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and as a result of me having them,it makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing things and sounds that others can't hear other than me.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining.I am not saying that human therapy and medication are no good,but the power that God gives in the name of his son Jesus Christ is greater than anything that any type of human therapy can provide.It helps sustain me and I feel a little bit better as a result of me talking about the BPD/Schizophrenia struggle with God and Christ as they give power beyond anything that humans can provide.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out a deep sleep.I simply turned to one side and after that,the erection died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still get tempted by the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and it gets even more difficult by the day.You resist the temptation to act out one day,but it gets stronger the next day.The fight to resist to act out on the unnatural desires related and connected with SSA is a very difficult fight at that.It seems that the desires want to own me rather than me owning them.I can't let that happen.I have to continue keeping in mind God's perfect law regarding sexuality and what he intended sexuality to be as he created and gave it.I am always praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I continually refuse to let the unnatural desires that I have define me and refuse to let the dictate to me how I will act and be.I am a male as well as a man and as far as being human goes,that is all that I am.My body is biologically hard-wired for compatibility with a female as God created man and woman for a reason.God never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world around us uses and abuses it.I continually pray to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day to keep me strong as I throw every temptation onto God in Jesus' name and I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil.Still,I am asking for prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog.Please pray for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section of my blog.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and support.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do as well.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ