Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after having a light lunch,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned.I first went to a local hair place to get my hair cut.After that was done,I headed over to a friend's place to see how he was doing.After my time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My unpredictable emotional and mood make-up,which is very complicated,can be hard to decipher or how it could be from day to day,or at times,from moment to moment within the same day.I never know how my emotions nor moods will be.It is bad enough that I struggle with BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I also have to put up with hearing sounds and voices that nobody else hears alongside the emotional roller coaster ride of having BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to fight this overwhelming urge to masturbate the erection away.I tossed and turned repeatedly until the erection softened and I slowly fell back asleep again.Though I escaped this episode,I had to fight the temptation to act out by masturbating or by simply manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and then stopping,but at times,it leads to ejaculation.Yes,at times,there is lusting involved in that latter thing.I continually prayed throughout the day as these temptations came around.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptations were reduced to nil.I prayed much through the day and I felt better each and every time that I prayed.I willfully refuse to let the unnatural desires that I have define who I am as a person nor will I dictate to me how I will be or act.I am a man and a member of the male sex and aside from being a human being,that is all that I am and I am nothing more than that.My body,the way that it is made,is biologically hard-wired to be compatible with that of a female as God,when he created us humans as man and woman,never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing sexuality.I also keep working on not letting sexual stuff dominate my thinking and try to keep a pure and clean mind in regards to sexuality.It isn't easy to do,but it can be done.I just keep praying and praying to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus constantly and it always makes me feel better.I am also still asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads every post that I write here.I also ask that you post encouraging comments and share whatever advice of comments that y'all can provide.They help keep me going and keep me even more determined to heal and overcome SSA even more.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.It is great that I am never alone in my SSA struggle.Thanks again to God and Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ