Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After coffee,I was up for much of the rest of the morning and I held off showering for a while.As noon was approaching,I had my usual quick breakfast and a half hour after that,I showered quickly to clean up.After showering,I tried calling someone I knew to check up on them,but they wouldn't answer.Concerned,I took a drive out to his place to see if he was okay and I was relieved to see that he was.After a few minutes at his place,we went out for a bot and picked up a few slices of pizza.After we had the pizza,we went to a nearby Dairy Queen to have some ice cream and after that,I dropped him off at home and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal as I was still hungry.While it was being prepared,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to relax and finish my personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I wound yup giving into temptation twice.Upon arising,I gave into the temptations to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and I fantasized and lusted after the images.On both occurrences,I managed to stop myself and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.I confessed everything to my Heavenly Father and when I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I went through the rest of the day without any problems.I still need to really work on getting tough with myself.I need to tell my body that I own it and that it doesn't own me.I also need to work on letting these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I also own them and that they don't own me.I want to be like the Apostle Paul when he said in 1st Corinthians 9:27 that he beats his body and makes his body his slave.This means that Paul says that he owns his body and everything on it and not the other way around.Plus,I also have to continually keep in mind that the body is the Lord's temple and not meant for any form of sexual immorality.I have to work on going to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I don't want to fall into the trap of falling into sin and going to my Heavenly Father in prayer for forgiveness.I want to show my Heavenly Father that I mean it when I say that I want to overcome and heal from SSA.I also want to show him that I am serious about wanting to change and that I want to do what is right in his eyes.I can't keep falling into sin and going to him for forgiveness as I feel that I am abusing that divine gift that he gives when people are really sorry for their sins when they fall short.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately.The positive verbal support reassures and reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I also need prayerful support each and every day.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.I didn't have much time to shower,so I washed my hair over the sink and after that,I dried and brushed it.I also washed my face and shaved and when I was finished with that,I got dressed up in my new dress interview clothes and headed for the agency to fill out another application for the place where I was interviewed yesterday for another position,which I turned in shortly after leaving the agency.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local restaurant to ask for an employment application,but the said that they were out of paper applications.After I left,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I made a phone call to the agency to let them know and after hanging up,I quickly did my personal PC work and later on in the afternoon,I showered to clean up and when I was finished,I watched a little TV and after turning it off,I did some more personal PC work.After that,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I headed over to my usual Friday night Celebrate Recovery group,which was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into night clothes and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and at the same time,fantasized and lusted after them.I felt really miserable and I went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short into sin and I left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven for my sins.For the rest of the day,I had no more problems,but I stayed on guard and kept being watchful.I didn't want to fall back into sin again and I had to be careful.I have to continue working on getting tough with myself and going to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask for strength whenever these terrible temptations come around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need some serious positive verbal support right now alongside your prayers.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real badly and desperately.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and my motivation.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday as usual,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I decided to do my personal PC work first and quickly and when I was done with that,I showered quickly and when I was finished with that,I got dressed up in dress clothes quickly because I had a job interview in the early afternoon.
During the interview,they advised me what the job was about and it was for a handy-man maintenance position.They also advised me to fill out another application for housekeeping duties and tomorrow,my job placement counselor and coach will be filling out the application together.I dropped off another application after that and I headed straight home afterwards.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and I headed back out to do a little bit of shopping and when I was finished with that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some more personal PC work and after that,I prepared a light meal for my evening meal.
After eating,I headed over to my evening Holy Bible study group,which went wonderfully.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into night clothes and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Though it is,I wasn't tempted today to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I was too busy getting ready for my job interview and eagerly anticipating what to say to the interviewer.This kept my mind off of sexual stuff.Tomorrow,I will be going to the agency to help fill out another application and I am still hoping for the best.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support as well.I need both types of support desperately and every day.They both help out in a lot of ways.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the agency and helping to fill out an application,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I didn't shower for a while as I had a couple of phone calls this morning.One from a place that arranged for me to come in for a job interview and another from my job placement counselor and coach.After these calls,I was relaxing for much of the morning and when it was approaching noon,I finally jumped into the shower and cleaned up and when I was finished cleaning myself,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and most of the time,I had to prepare for my appointment with my general medical doctor as a result of the cold that I had last week and also,to get new prescriptions for two of my most important medical conditions.
The session with the doctor went well and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to turn in some empty bottles and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I caught up on my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening while watching a DVD.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon arising out of bed,I gave into the temptation to lust and fantasize and I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and when I reached orgasm,I masturbated the rest of the way.I felt terrible for doing this and when I was finished washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and prayed to him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin to my Heavenly Father as I confessed my sins to him.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed to him.I prayed and told him everything and when I was finished,I felt better and I knew and believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins.I went through the rest of the day feeling better that I was forgiven.I still need to really get tough on myself.I have to learn how to say "NO" to these terrible temptations when they come around.I need to really work on showing these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and that they don't own me.I can't let myself fall into the trap of habitually sinning and going to my Heavenly Father to be forgiven for sinning.I need to really get tough with myself ans say "NO" to these temptations.I need to really work on going to my Heavenly Father and asking for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I need to make that a habit and go to him every day and asking for that strength.If I don't,I am up the creek with no place to go.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I am going through a very difficult emotional time right now and I need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and every day.They do both help in a lot of ways.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.They also both reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a job interview tomorrow in the early afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed up and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I headed over to the local Sears to have some interview clothes bought for me.
The purchasing went great and after it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got back into a pair of sweatpants and I did my personal PC work.After that,I spent the rest of the time preparing for my latest job interview today.
When the time came,I headed over to the local Motel 6 where the interview was and though the interview went great,it was for something that I had no experience in.After it was over,I thanked the manager for the time and shook his hand and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and headed for a local supermarket to turn in some empty bottles and cans and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy a gallon of milk.After that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a prescription refill.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk in the fridge and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and later on,I relaxed and enjoyed a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I actually managed to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and to also manipulate my genitals to the sexual images of men that were clouding my mind.This was after I had gotten home from getting interview clothes.I prayed and I prayed for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges because I didn't want to give into these things.I didn't want to sin against my Heavenly Father.I also wanted to stay within his perfect law in regards to sexuality.When I was finished praying,I felt better and also,much stronger as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I went through with the rest of the day with no problems.Though I did escape the rest of the day unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support every day and desperately.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both of these types of support.I need to continue knowing that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in terms of my determination and motivation.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a doctor's appointment in the mid afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed and went out to the bank to withdraw some money so I could get my driver's side rear wheel tire replaced and it was a good thing that I had it replaced as it was starting to bubble on the rear of it.After having the tire put on by a local garage,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I checked my voice-mail and my job placement counselor/coach left a message and I returned the call.I will be meeting her at the local Sears to see about getting interview clothes and prepare for my job interview tomorrow.After talking with her,I undressed and showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed again and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded to head over to the local hospital for my appointments with both my therapist and the nurse practitioner.
Both the sessions went well.After they were over and I got a new prescription for my medication,I headed for home.
On the way home,I dropped my prescription off at the drug store and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I checked my voice-mail and saw that another place where I dropped an application off called to set up an interview and I called them back and left a message.I also left a message for my job placement counselor/coach regarding this and after that,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I relaxed for a bit and I did some more personal PC work.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of the two for me.Today,I had no problems with temptations.I wasn't tempted in any way to fantasize nor lust after any men and no sexual images of men clouded my mind at all today.I was relieved that this didn't happen at all today.I guess keeping my mind on getting my tire replaced and the appointments and preparing for tomorrow kept my mind off of these things.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It isn't that I am worried about tomorrow,which I am not.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can attack at any minute trying to tempt me to fantasize and lust after other men.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support every day.They both help keep me going.They also reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of shopping for interview clothes,preparation for my job interview and the interview itself tomorrow,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke in the early morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to get a couple of things that I needed.After paying for these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and since I was still feeling tired,I decided to lay down for a while and rest.
After getting up,I headed for the local Super Wal-Mart to buy something for dinner,but I saw that this wasn't what I wanted after looking at the ingredients,I headed for the local supermarket and they had what I was looking for.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and I finally got around to doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,while I was laying down,I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind.I also manipulated my genitals to these images.I managed to stop myself and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for falling short in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short and I also pleaded for my Heavenly Father's mercy on me.I prayed hard and I left nothing out.When I was finished praying,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I really need to start getting tough on myself.I need to really work on making it a habit in going to my Heavenly Father and asking for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I am serious about wanting to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.I really need to show this to my Heavenly Father by going to him constantly and asking him for help whenever these terrible and overwhelming urges come around.I want to avoid falling into the trap of habitually sinning and going to my Heavenly Father and asking to be forgiven.I really need to work on myself and really be tough.I want to heal and I want to overcome,but I won't if I habitually keep falling and going to ask for forgiveness.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support really badly and desperately.They both help keep me going.They also help reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my appointments with my therapist and the nurse practitioner in the early afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ