Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After coffee,I was up for much of the rest of the morning and I held off showering for a while.As noon was approaching,I had my usual quick breakfast and a half hour after that,I showered quickly to clean up.After showering,I tried calling someone I knew to check up on them,but they wouldn't answer.Concerned,I took a drive out to his place to see if he was okay and I was relieved to see that he was.After a few minutes at his place,we went out for a bot and picked up a few slices of pizza.After we had the pizza,we went to a nearby Dairy Queen to have some ice cream and after that,I dropped him off at home and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal as I was still hungry.While it was being prepared,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to relax and finish my personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I wound yup giving into temptation twice.Upon arising,I gave into the temptations to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and I fantasized and lusted after the images.On both occurrences,I managed to stop myself and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.I confessed everything to my Heavenly Father and when I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I went through the rest of the day without any problems.I still need to really work on getting tough with myself.I need to tell my body that I own it and that it doesn't own me.I also need to work on letting these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I also own them and that they don't own me.I want to be like the Apostle Paul when he said in 1st Corinthians 9:27 that he beats his body and makes his body his slave.This means that Paul says that he owns his body and everything on it and not the other way around.Plus,I also have to continually keep in mind that the body is the Lord's temple and not meant for any form of sexual immorality.I have to work on going to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I don't want to fall into the trap of falling into sin and going to my Heavenly Father in prayer for forgiveness.I want to show my Heavenly Father that I mean it when I say that I want to overcome and heal from SSA.I also want to show him that I am serious about wanting to change and that I want to do what is right in his eyes.I can't keep falling into sin and going to him for forgiveness as I feel that I am abusing that divine gift that he gives when people are really sorry for their sins when they fall short.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately.The positive verbal support reassures and reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I also need prayerful support each and every day.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ