Tonight,my rocky road recovery continues moving on.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,I finally managed to get to that Salvation Army thrift store in another area of the county where I live.I simply went in to look around and I did buy a few things.After that,I went to a nearby McDonalds to buy something to drink.After getting that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to my sister's house to pick something up.Last but not least,I went to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.Though I haven't brought it up lately,throughout the last few days,including today,I managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving on,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.My moods and/or emotions can be up one day/one minute/moment or down the next day/one minute/moment.I never how my emotional make-up will be from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am also having to put with sounds and things that only I can hear and nobody else does.I am still continuing to attend my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle tries to weigh me down.I simply talk about my BPD struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of turning the struggle over to him and his son and letting them take the lead and helping me through this struggle when it might be getting too difficult.It is wonderful that I can rely on them whenever that happens.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This urge to grab my genitals and masturbate was really overwhelming.I tossed and I turned,but the erection only got even harder.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection had softened and I did lay back down when my genitals were fully soft.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.When that happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him.I kept busy throughout the day as I went about.I tried to keep my mind off anything sinful and lustful as I continued onward through the day.Whenever any temptation came around,I prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask for strength to fight and resist the temptations when they came around.I kept it up and I even tried to keep my mind of positive spiritual things rather than on negative sinful things.The fight against the unnatural desires of SSA is always a very difficult one,but it can be won and overcome.I just have to keep praying and asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to continue fighting and resisting all temptations that come around.I have to keep doing that all the day through and constantly whenever any temptations try to envelope me.I am also again asking for prayers by all who follow and read my blog posts and also,I still ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA.Please pray for me and leave a very positive and encouraging word or two.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do as well.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the Holy Bible study class ninety minutes before the worship service.Aside from that,I have made no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I was hoping to get out to a Salvation Army thrift store in another area of the county that I live in,but complications at home made me change plans.I simply went to see how a friend of mine was doing instead and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move onward,I am still dealing with the daily struggles of having BPD,it's symptoms,and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day or from minute to minute.It is bad enough that I struggle with BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with hearing things and sounds that nobody else hears,such as voices,hearing my name being called,various sounds such as footsteps and other sounds,including the fear that I am being followed by someone as a result of hearing the footsteps and hearing my name being called.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying and leaning on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.I also feel a tad better as a result of talking about this particular struggle with God and Christ.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use everything in my power to fight and resist this particular temptation as having an erection is one of my weaknesses when it comes to resisting the temptation to act out by masturbation.At times,it is accompanied by lusting after other people when it happens.I had to get up and use the bathroom when this happened,so I got up and used the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and was fully soft when I went back to bed and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to act out by lusting and by masturbation,including the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,although at times,an ejaculation does happen when I give into that particular temptation.Each and every time that the temptations came around.I threw it on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations as I didn't want to sin against God and his perfect law.I wanted to follow God's law as his law is perfect and has no flaws.After every prayer,I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil.I also felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.I kept up praying throughout the day as I really didn't want to fall into temptation.I do get tempted throughout the day and it is wonderful that I can pray to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through every temptation that comes around and that is great.It also shows that God and Christ will never let me be tempted beyond what I can handle.Though I have been doing this,I am also still asking for everyone who follows and rads my blog to pray for me as well as I really do need them.I also ask for everyone to leave and encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I see that there are people who visit,but nobody leaves any encouraging words for me.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle and even more determined in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to everyone for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do for me to help me get through anything related to this terrible SSA.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I was hoping to get out to a Salvation Army thrift store in another area of the county that I live in,but complications at home made me change plans.I simply went to see how a friend of mine was doing instead and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move onward,I am still dealing with the daily struggles of having BPD,it's symptoms,and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day or from minute to minute.It is bad enough that I struggle with BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with hearing things and sounds that nobody else hears,such as voices,hearing my name being called,various sounds such as footsteps and other sounds,including the fear that I am being followed by someone as a result of hearing the footsteps and hearing my name being called.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying and leaning on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.I also feel a tad better as a result of talking about this particular struggle with God and Christ.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use everything in my power to fight and resist this particular temptation as having an erection is one of my weaknesses when it comes to resisting the temptation to act out by masturbation.At times,it is accompanied by lusting after other people when it happens.I had to get up and use the bathroom when this happened,so I got up and used the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and was fully soft when I went back to bed and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to act out by lusting and by masturbation,including the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,although at times,an ejaculation does happen when I give into that particular temptation.Each and every time that the temptations came around.I threw it on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations as I didn't want to sin against God and his perfect law.I wanted to follow God's law as his law is perfect and has no flaws.After every prayer,I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil.I also felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.I kept up praying throughout the day as I really didn't want to fall into temptation.I do get tempted throughout the day and it is wonderful that I can pray to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through every temptation that comes around and that is great.It also shows that God and Christ will never let me be tempted beyond what I can handle.Though I have been doing this,I am also still asking for everyone who follows and rads my blog to pray for me as well as I really do need them.I also ask for everyone to leave and encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I see that there are people who visit,but nobody leaves any encouraging words for me.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle and even more determined in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to everyone for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do for me to help me get through anything related to this terrible SSA.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda today.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group and as usual,I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating that,I had some time to kill and decided to hang out and socialize at the group center for a while before heading to my general doctor's office for a follow-up.
The follow-up visit went well and I got a prescription.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still having to battle the symptoms of BPD every day and the emotional roller coaster ride that I am constantly on as a result of my struggles with BPD.I never know how my moods or emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.At times,I wish that I don't have to go through this,but I know that I have to put up with the struggle as best as I can.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It also makes my struggles with SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still also taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I usually feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.Human therapy is essential,but both God and Christ help in ways that go beyond human therapy.It is wonderful that I am not in this struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I sat up and I stayed sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep after that.Though I did escape this episode,I was still being tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have by ways of lusting and the urge to manipulate my genitals at the same time.This is a very common problem for me as I get the urge to lust and touch myself inappropriately at the same time.The urge to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near or fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping is a huge problem and yes,there is usually lusting involved with it at the same time.I get these urges throughout the day and whenever I do,I throw the temptations on God and pray to him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel better each time I do that.Whenever I throw the temptations on God in prayer and I talk about them,the temptations are reduced to nil and I move on.But they do sometimes come back later in the day and when that happens,I simply throw it on God again and with his and his son's help in strengthening me,which is what I pray for whenever I am tempted,I feel better and relieved and it is a much better feeling than acting out on the unnatural desires that I have.This fulfillment is spiritual fulfillment and the feeling that this gives me is a whole lot better than the feeling that I get from lusting and genital manipulation.God is there to get us through all sorts of temptations.He is also there to give us strength to help us fight and resist the urges to indulge in any type of sinful sexual behavior.All we need to do is ask for that strength in prayer and he will give it.I am also still asking for prayers by those who repeatedly follow my blog and read the posts that I post here daily and also,I would appreciate some words of encouragement left in the comments section.Your prayers and your positive words of encouragement help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do to help me and all of us who struggle with any kind of problem.They give power beyond what is normal and they are there for us when we ask them to get involved.Thanks again to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda today.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group and as usual,I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating that,I had some time to kill and decided to hang out and socialize at the group center for a while before heading to my general doctor's office for a follow-up.
The follow-up visit went well and I got a prescription.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still having to battle the symptoms of BPD every day and the emotional roller coaster ride that I am constantly on as a result of my struggles with BPD.I never know how my moods or emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.At times,I wish that I don't have to go through this,but I know that I have to put up with the struggle as best as I can.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It also makes my struggles with SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still also taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I usually feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.Human therapy is essential,but both God and Christ help in ways that go beyond human therapy.It is wonderful that I am not in this struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I sat up and I stayed sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep after that.Though I did escape this episode,I was still being tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have by ways of lusting and the urge to manipulate my genitals at the same time.This is a very common problem for me as I get the urge to lust and touch myself inappropriately at the same time.The urge to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near or fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping is a huge problem and yes,there is usually lusting involved with it at the same time.I get these urges throughout the day and whenever I do,I throw the temptations on God and pray to him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel better each time I do that.Whenever I throw the temptations on God in prayer and I talk about them,the temptations are reduced to nil and I move on.But they do sometimes come back later in the day and when that happens,I simply throw it on God again and with his and his son's help in strengthening me,which is what I pray for whenever I am tempted,I feel better and relieved and it is a much better feeling than acting out on the unnatural desires that I have.This fulfillment is spiritual fulfillment and the feeling that this gives me is a whole lot better than the feeling that I get from lusting and genital manipulation.God is there to get us through all sorts of temptations.He is also there to give us strength to help us fight and resist the urges to indulge in any type of sinful sexual behavior.All we need to do is ask for that strength in prayer and he will give it.I am also still asking for prayers by those who repeatedly follow my blog and read the posts that I post here daily and also,I would appreciate some words of encouragement left in the comments section.Your prayers and your positive words of encouragement help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do to help me and all of us who struggle with any kind of problem.They give power beyond what is normal and they are there for us when we ask them to get involved.Thanks again to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda today.I had to pay a visit with my case manager over at her office.It was for an early afternoon time and I went there to discuss some things with her.
The meeting went as well as could be expected.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed over to see how another friend of mine was doing.I also spent a few minutes with him and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still struggling with the mental illness issues connected with BPD,it's symptoms,and the emotional roller coaster ride also connected with it.My moods change by the day or by the minute in the same day.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply and continually talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia combination struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a little bit better as they both help in sustaining me.I am not saying that the human therapy that I get isn't good,but both God and his son Jesus Christ collectively give power beyond what any human therapy can give.They help me feel a little bit more at ease with this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I simply got up and I felt that I had to use the bathroom and as I walked to that room,the erection softened and when I got there,it was now fully softened and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I was tempted throughout the day to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and also to watch porn online,as well as to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sexual activity with them.Regarding that latter third temptation,I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that temptation comes around.Regarding the other two,I threw them on God and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist those particular temptations.I did it throughout the day as I was being tempted to do these things throughout the day.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever they came around and every time that I did that,the temptation was reduced to nil.Since relying on both God and his son Christ Jesus a lot more,I always feel better as a result of trusting in them and asking them for strength to help me fight and resist all temptations that come around.It is wonderful that they can and do help when asked.I am also still asking to be prayed for by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts and also to please leave and encouraging word or two as both your prayers and your encouragement help keep me going in the fight.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday spirituality group that I must attend.I also have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon as well.Aside from these things,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda today.I had to pay a visit with my case manager over at her office.It was for an early afternoon time and I went there to discuss some things with her.
The meeting went as well as could be expected.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed over to see how another friend of mine was doing.I also spent a few minutes with him and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still struggling with the mental illness issues connected with BPD,it's symptoms,and the emotional roller coaster ride also connected with it.My moods change by the day or by the minute in the same day.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply and continually talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia combination struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a little bit better as they both help in sustaining me.I am not saying that the human therapy that I get isn't good,but both God and his son Jesus Christ collectively give power beyond what any human therapy can give.They help me feel a little bit more at ease with this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I simply got up and I felt that I had to use the bathroom and as I walked to that room,the erection softened and when I got there,it was now fully softened and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I was tempted throughout the day to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and also to watch porn online,as well as to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sexual activity with them.Regarding that latter third temptation,I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that temptation comes around.Regarding the other two,I threw them on God and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist those particular temptations.I did it throughout the day as I was being tempted to do these things throughout the day.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever they came around and every time that I did that,the temptation was reduced to nil.Since relying on both God and his son Christ Jesus a lot more,I always feel better as a result of trusting in them and asking them for strength to help me fight and resist all temptations that come around.It is wonderful that they can and do help when asked.I am also still asking to be prayed for by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts and also to please leave and encouraging word or two as both your prayers and your encouragement help keep me going in the fight.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday spirituality group that I must attend.I also have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon as well.Aside from these things,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to see my therapist at the local hospital.This was my first meeting with the new therapist as they have been changing therapists from time to time over at the hospital.
The session went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still faced with the daily struggle of having BPD.My emotions and/or moods change by the day,or at times,by the minute.I can up and feeling good one day or minute or down and not so good the next day or minute.I never know how my moods or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw the struggle on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.I never have to worry about this struggle getting too overwhelming as both God and his son Jesus Christ are there to help me get through any difficult stuff related to having both BPD?Schizophrenia comes around.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and when it is in their hands,I feel a little bit better and it shows that I am not in this struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and since I felt that I had to use the bathroom,I got up to use it and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and after using it,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day and I had to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I simply threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept talking about the temptation to God and kept asking for strength to fight and resist the temptations and every time I finished praying,I felt better.I am also still requesting prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly and also for some encouraging comments by all of you in the comments section as well.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me fighting this battle with SSA and make me more determined to overcome it.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do as well.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my case worker to discuss some things.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to see my therapist at the local hospital.This was my first meeting with the new therapist as they have been changing therapists from time to time over at the hospital.
The session went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still faced with the daily struggle of having BPD.My emotions and/or moods change by the day,or at times,by the minute.I can up and feeling good one day or minute or down and not so good the next day or minute.I never know how my moods or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw the struggle on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.I never have to worry about this struggle getting too overwhelming as both God and his son Jesus Christ are there to help me get through any difficult stuff related to having both BPD?Schizophrenia comes around.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and when it is in their hands,I feel a little bit better and it shows that I am not in this struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and since I felt that I had to use the bathroom,I got up to use it and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and after using it,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day and I had to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I simply threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept talking about the temptation to God and kept asking for strength to fight and resist the temptations and every time I finished praying,I felt better.I am also still requesting prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly and also for some encouraging comments by all of you in the comments section as well.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me fighting this battle with SSA and make me more determined to overcome it.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do as well.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my case worker to discuss some things.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, November 12, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a building and improving self esteem group that I had to attend and the group meeting went as well as expected.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in the trunk and back seat of my car.After turning them in and getting the money,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in an ongoing struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never how my moods or my emotions will be from one to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is an unpredictable thing.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that does make me a feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation to masturbate the erection away.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down and go back to sleep until the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I later gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping.After I had done that,I asked God to forgive me for my sins and I did feel better after that.Since I am now alone in the house,I am now really getting tempted to act out by masturbation or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,it does proceed to masturbation.I really have to use all of my strength to fight and resist these temptations whenever they come around.I really have to learn to really go in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask him to give me the strength to resist these temptations whenever they occur.I really feel overwhelmed at times by these temptations.I don't want to lust after others nor do I want to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in any way,shape or form.I want to do what is right,but the unnatural desires that I have want me to do the opposite.I really have to buckle down and really rely on God and his son Jesus Christ to really help get me through these awful temptations.I want to be pure in thought and deed,but the unnatural desires that I have want me to be the opposite of that.At times,when I am being overwhelmed,I don't know whether I am coming or going.I again ask for those who follow my blog and read the posts that I post on it to please continue praying for me as I am going through all of this.I also ask for encouraging words in the comments section by all of you.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going.I will also continue in prayer to God and his son Jesus Christ constantly.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my therapist and I am hoping that the session goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a building and improving self esteem group that I had to attend and the group meeting went as well as expected.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in the trunk and back seat of my car.After turning them in and getting the money,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in an ongoing struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never how my moods or my emotions will be from one to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is an unpredictable thing.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that does make me a feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation to masturbate the erection away.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down and go back to sleep until the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I later gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping.After I had done that,I asked God to forgive me for my sins and I did feel better after that.Since I am now alone in the house,I am now really getting tempted to act out by masturbation or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,it does proceed to masturbation.I really have to use all of my strength to fight and resist these temptations whenever they come around.I really have to learn to really go in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask him to give me the strength to resist these temptations whenever they occur.I really feel overwhelmed at times by these temptations.I don't want to lust after others nor do I want to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in any way,shape or form.I want to do what is right,but the unnatural desires that I have want me to do the opposite.I really have to buckle down and really rely on God and his son Jesus Christ to really help get me through these awful temptations.I want to be pure in thought and deed,but the unnatural desires that I have want me to be the opposite of that.At times,when I am being overwhelmed,I don't know whether I am coming or going.I again ask for those who follow my blog and read the posts that I post on it to please continue praying for me as I am going through all of this.I also ask for encouraging words in the comments section by all of you.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going.I will also continue in prayer to God and his son Jesus Christ constantly.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my therapist and I am hoping that the session goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately dressed up in a suit and headed to the church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had lunch and after lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still enduring the symptoms of BPD and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal with.My moods and/or emotions can be up one day or one minute and I am feeling good or they can be down the next day or minute and I am feeling not so good.It's bad enough that I struggle with BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my daily BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the ups and downs emotionally,I also have to put up with hearing things that others,other than me,can't hear.While the struggles with mental illness are difficult,I still rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw everything on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I do feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in my struggles with the double whammy that I have as far as mental illness goes.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I,while still tired and sleepy,manipulated my genitals and wound up ejaculating.After this,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him as what I did was sinful.It was also impure and unclean.After that,I did feel pretty good and truly believed that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I was still tempted to act out in many ways,but every time that the temptation hit,I threw it on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong to fight and resist the temptations.I always felt better when I did that.My struggles with these unnatural desires that I have are very difficult to deal with and at times,the desire to act out on them can be very overwhelming.I simply keep talking to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and keep asking for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and to keep me going in my fight to resist them.I will have to keep on doing that so I can be strong to fight and resist.I am also continuing to ask for prayers from everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts and also,I would appreciate some words of encouragement in the comments section of my blog as both your prayers and your words of encouragement help keep me going in my fight against these terrible unnatural desires that I have.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a building and improving self esteem group that I must attend.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately dressed up in a suit and headed to the church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had lunch and after lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still enduring the symptoms of BPD and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal with.My moods and/or emotions can be up one day or one minute and I am feeling good or they can be down the next day or minute and I am feeling not so good.It's bad enough that I struggle with BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my daily BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the ups and downs emotionally,I also have to put up with hearing things that others,other than me,can't hear.While the struggles with mental illness are difficult,I still rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw everything on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I do feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in my struggles with the double whammy that I have as far as mental illness goes.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I,while still tired and sleepy,manipulated my genitals and wound up ejaculating.After this,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him as what I did was sinful.It was also impure and unclean.After that,I did feel pretty good and truly believed that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I was still tempted to act out in many ways,but every time that the temptation hit,I threw it on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong to fight and resist the temptations.I always felt better when I did that.My struggles with these unnatural desires that I have are very difficult to deal with and at times,the desire to act out on them can be very overwhelming.I simply keep talking to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and keep asking for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and to keep me going in my fight to resist them.I will have to keep on doing that so I can be strong to fight and resist.I am also continuing to ask for prayers from everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts and also,I would appreciate some words of encouragement in the comments section of my blog as both your prayers and your words of encouragement help keep me going in my fight against these terrible unnatural desires that I have.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a building and improving self esteem group that I must attend.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
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