Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I was hoping to get out to a Salvation Army thrift store in another area of the county that I live in,but complications at home made me change plans.I simply went to see how a friend of mine was doing instead and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move onward,I am still dealing with the daily struggles of having BPD,it's symptoms,and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day or from minute to minute.It is bad enough that I struggle with BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with hearing things and sounds that nobody else hears,such as voices,hearing my name being called,various sounds such as footsteps and other sounds,including the fear that I am being followed by someone as a result of hearing the footsteps and hearing my name being called.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying and leaning on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.I also feel a tad better as a result of talking about this particular struggle with God and Christ.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use everything in my power to fight and resist this particular temptation as having an erection is one of my weaknesses when it comes to resisting the temptation to act out by masturbation.At times,it is accompanied by lusting after other people when it happens.I had to get up and use the bathroom when this happened,so I got up and used the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and was fully soft when I went back to bed and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to act out by lusting and by masturbation,including the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,although at times,an ejaculation does happen when I give into that particular temptation.Each and every time that the temptations came around.I threw it on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations as I didn't want to sin against God and his perfect law.I wanted to follow God's law as his law is perfect and has no flaws.After every prayer,I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil.I also felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.I kept up praying throughout the day as I really didn't want to fall into temptation.I do get tempted throughout the day and it is wonderful that I can pray to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through every temptation that comes around and that is great.It also shows that God and Christ will never let me be tempted beyond what I can handle.Though I have been doing this,I am also still asking for everyone who follows and rads my blog to pray for me as well as I really do need them.I also ask for everyone to leave and encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I see that there are people who visit,but nobody leaves any encouraging words for me.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle and even more determined in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to everyone for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do for me to help me get through anything related to this terrible SSA.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ