Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a pretty decent day weatherwise.I had to get up early this morning so I could be up and ready to answer the phone so I could take a call from the Christian counselor that I have been talking with.It was a wonderful conversation and we talked for about 20 minutes.After that,I finished my personal PC work and I headed out to do some errands that I had to run.
While out,I had a bowl of soup as a late lunch and I went to a couple of stores to pick up a couple of DVD's.The last errand was that I had to pick up a few things at a local supermarket and I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I bathed and I also saw that I finally received the DVD that I had been waiting on for a little over two weeks.It is the 2nd season of Friday The 13th: The Series.After my bath,I ate a light dinner.
After eating,I watched the first episode of the DVD set that I received and it was wonderful.It was also great to finally receive this.I am going to head over to Paypal later to close the dispute that I opened up when the seller wasn't cooperating at first.But again,I am glad to get this and it was wonderful to see the first episode of the DVD set.
I am anticipating the night tonight.I am going to go out and sing tonight.I am looking forward to that.I am going to be doing a George Harrison tribute tonight and I am hoping that theevening goes well.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I have a feeling that things are going to go well.
Regarding my SSA striggles,I was doing good today until I fell short.I watched a couple of Gay themed amateur porn videos on the site.But I hit the home page.I gave into temptation and I do feel pretty bad aboout it.The minute that I shut down,I have to ask the creator for forgiveness for this sin.I also have to work on NOT doing this again.
As for the rest of teh weekend,I haven't made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day toady and my hopes for the rest of the weekend ahead.FJ
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly and I managed to get quite a bit done.After my job was finished,I simply bagged the laundry and I dropped it off at the rehab center.I headed for home.
On the way home,I had to pick up a few things at a nearby supermarket and at a nearby Dollar Tree store.I also went to my regular bank to cash my paycheck.I headed straight home after that and for the rest of the night,I am staying there.
The weather right now is snowy and cold.The wind chill is in the teens above freezing at the moment but tonight,the temps are supposed to drop into the freezing territory.I will have to dress really warm tonight so I can stay warm while I am sleeping.I may also have to put on an extra blanket on my bed.Since I have no place to go tonight,I will just stay home and take it easy.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I also did some checking up on a shipment that I am expecting and so far,it has left Rochester NY via USPS and I am hoping that it comes in soon.
I can't believe that the weekend is here.I will be going out to sing tomorrow night and I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.I am anticipating the evening tomorrow and as stated,I am hoping that evening goes well.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had another brief episode.It was when I tried to sit in a chair and relax this morning.I was playing with my genitals and I almost was at the point of orgasm when I stopped.I was still feeling a little tired from another lack of sleep.But I am hoping to get a better nights sleeping tonight and I am also going to continue working on these stubborn and destructive habits of mine.I am also hoping to find some help in hope that I can overcome this struggle.
I am now relaxing and just hearing a light wind blow.As stated,I am hoping that my evening of entertaining the crowd goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work shift went smoothly and I managed to get quite a bit done.After my job was finished,I simply bagged the laundry and I dropped it off at the rehab center.I headed for home.
On the way home,I had to pick up a few things at a nearby supermarket and at a nearby Dollar Tree store.I also went to my regular bank to cash my paycheck.I headed straight home after that and for the rest of the night,I am staying there.
The weather right now is snowy and cold.The wind chill is in the teens above freezing at the moment but tonight,the temps are supposed to drop into the freezing territory.I will have to dress really warm tonight so I can stay warm while I am sleeping.I may also have to put on an extra blanket on my bed.Since I have no place to go tonight,I will just stay home and take it easy.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I also did some checking up on a shipment that I am expecting and so far,it has left Rochester NY via USPS and I am hoping that it comes in soon.
I can't believe that the weekend is here.I will be going out to sing tomorrow night and I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.I am anticipating the evening tomorrow and as stated,I am hoping that evening goes well.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had another brief episode.It was when I tried to sit in a chair and relax this morning.I was playing with my genitals and I almost was at the point of orgasm when I stopped.I was still feeling a little tired from another lack of sleep.But I am hoping to get a better nights sleeping tonight and I am also going to continue working on these stubborn and destructive habits of mine.I am also hoping to find some help in hope that I can overcome this struggle.
I am now relaxing and just hearing a light wind blow.As stated,I am hoping that my evening of entertaining the crowd goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work shift went well.The only drawback was when I was picking up the laundry,I had to clean up a mess in the laundry room at the rehab center.But the rest of the day went well enough.After eating my lunch,I dropped the clean laundry off at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local drug store to pick up a prescription that I had filled yesterday.It is a new medication that I requested to be switched to and I am hoping that it gives me better benefits than the previous one did.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I got my PJ's back on and I took a nap for about an hour.I was feeling sleepy and I really needed a nap to catch up on a little bit of lost sleep that I had.After waking up,I finished my personal PC work and I also went to make my bed afterwards.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I also heard from a seller that I have been trying to contact concerning the purchase of a DVD set that I purchased from him.After trying about 10 times to contact him via e-mail,he told me that he shipped the DVD set out and that it should take 2-3 days for it to get to me.I am hoping that I receive it soon.I also had to open a PayPal dispute to get the seller to cooperate.He did and I will close the dispute the minute that the DVD set is received.Again,I am hoping to get the DVD set very soon.
I am now relaxing.I have no place to go because the weather outside is COLD!!!! with blowing and drifting snow.Fortunately,I had no problems driving home from work as there were not too many slick road conditions.It is a grim reminder that we are still in the Winter season and that Spring is still a long way off.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode where I almost fell asleep while sitting in a chair at home and I was playing with myself.Fortunately,I stopped before it could escalate into a masturbatory episode.But I did feel bad about it and I am hoping that I can get back into the recovery spirit soon.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work shift went well.The only drawback was when I was picking up the laundry,I had to clean up a mess in the laundry room at the rehab center.But the rest of the day went well enough.After eating my lunch,I dropped the clean laundry off at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local drug store to pick up a prescription that I had filled yesterday.It is a new medication that I requested to be switched to and I am hoping that it gives me better benefits than the previous one did.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I got my PJ's back on and I took a nap for about an hour.I was feeling sleepy and I really needed a nap to catch up on a little bit of lost sleep that I had.After waking up,I finished my personal PC work and I also went to make my bed afterwards.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I also heard from a seller that I have been trying to contact concerning the purchase of a DVD set that I purchased from him.After trying about 10 times to contact him via e-mail,he told me that he shipped the DVD set out and that it should take 2-3 days for it to get to me.I am hoping that I receive it soon.I also had to open a PayPal dispute to get the seller to cooperate.He did and I will close the dispute the minute that the DVD set is received.Again,I am hoping to get the DVD set very soon.
I am now relaxing.I have no place to go because the weather outside is COLD!!!! with blowing and drifting snow.Fortunately,I had no problems driving home from work as there were not too many slick road conditions.It is a grim reminder that we are still in the Winter season and that Spring is still a long way off.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode where I almost fell asleep while sitting in a chair at home and I was playing with myself.Fortunately,I stopped before it could escalate into a masturbatory episode.But I did feel bad about it and I am hoping that I can get back into the recovery spirit soon.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and I just picked the bags up and dropped them off at the work site.I sorted them out and I had lunch.
After lunch,I went onto the social club computer to print out an article about a particular program that lets me convert my computer into storing music and that I can transfer them to MP3 or onto CD's.It will take some time but I am willing to get that done when I can get the money together.
After lunch,I went to a local Dollar General store to pick up a couple of things.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put my PJ's back on and before settling down to take a nap,I waited for the UPS delivery to drop off a smart antenna that I had ordered at Best Buy through their website.The antenna arrived and I decided to take a nap before hooking up the antenna alongside the DTV converter box so we can have digital TV going.
After my nap,I hooked everything up and at the moment,we are watching TV using the DTV converter box and the smart antenna and it is working beautifully.The only thing is that a local station didn't have a signal going yet.I am looking into getting an outdoor TV antenna to coincide with the indoor smart antenna so we can hopefully pick up more channels.At the moment,we can't afford cable or satellite so we have to settle for the basics.But it's better than nothing.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed last minute personal PC work.I am now all caught up.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I relapsed.I masturbated this morning with images running rampant through my mind.I know how I was when this happened.I was extremely tired.I didn't get enough sleep last night.I don't know what time I eventually got to sleep but I was still feeling sleepy when I got out of bed this morning.I asked the creator to forgive me for my sin and though I felt a little bit better,I still felt a little misery over it.I guess that I have to stop drinking coffee after a certain time.I believe that was the root cause of my lack of sleeping last night.That will be my resolution for now.Cut down on caffeine consumption,including not drinking it too close to sleep time.Starting now,I will drink no more coffee until the next day.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and I just picked the bags up and dropped them off at the work site.I sorted them out and I had lunch.
After lunch,I went onto the social club computer to print out an article about a particular program that lets me convert my computer into storing music and that I can transfer them to MP3 or onto CD's.It will take some time but I am willing to get that done when I can get the money together.
After lunch,I went to a local Dollar General store to pick up a couple of things.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put my PJ's back on and before settling down to take a nap,I waited for the UPS delivery to drop off a smart antenna that I had ordered at Best Buy through their website.The antenna arrived and I decided to take a nap before hooking up the antenna alongside the DTV converter box so we can have digital TV going.
After my nap,I hooked everything up and at the moment,we are watching TV using the DTV converter box and the smart antenna and it is working beautifully.The only thing is that a local station didn't have a signal going yet.I am looking into getting an outdoor TV antenna to coincide with the indoor smart antenna so we can hopefully pick up more channels.At the moment,we can't afford cable or satellite so we have to settle for the basics.But it's better than nothing.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed last minute personal PC work.I am now all caught up.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I relapsed.I masturbated this morning with images running rampant through my mind.I know how I was when this happened.I was extremely tired.I didn't get enough sleep last night.I don't know what time I eventually got to sleep but I was still feeling sleepy when I got out of bed this morning.I asked the creator to forgive me for my sin and though I felt a little bit better,I still felt a little misery over it.I guess that I have to stop drinking coffee after a certain time.I believe that was the root cause of my lack of sleeping last night.That will be my resolution for now.Cut down on caffeine consumption,including not drinking it too close to sleep time.Starting now,I will drink no more coffee until the next day.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work day was a bit hectic.Though doing my job went well,I had a run-in with a troublemaker.This is a guy who I have had run-ins with before.This guy loves to rub people the worng way and get under their gourds.Not only that,the worst part of this was I didn't get any justice from this incident.Fortunately for me,the work day was winding down and I didn't have to put up with this guy's baloney for long.After bagging everything and dropping it off,I headed for home.
When I got home,I immediately ran out again.I had to go and withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that,I filled my gas tank because we are going to have a cold night tonight.I felt that it would be better for me to have a full tank so I will not have a tough time starting my 4X4 in the morning when I have to go and do the laundry pick-up tomorrow morning.
After filling my tank,I went to a nearby supermarket to buy a few things for the home and I headed back home where I am here to stay.
After eating,I finished my personal PC work and I also wrote a few e-mails.Before I started typing this,I heard from a friend of mine that one of his brothers passed away.He also told me that he was very shook up about it and while I was talking to him,he was really crying hard because he hadn't spoken to this particular older for quite a while because another brother of his lied to him that he was dead.This death came as a shock to him and after we talked for a few minutes,we hung up.Overall,a pretty fair day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,there has not been any problems.I guess that I have to keep busy with things so my mind isn't preoccupied with sex so much.I will just have to find new activities to do so I will not be thinking of sex so much.
As stated,tomorrow is a pick-up day and I am hoping that the pick up goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have really no plans except to simply go home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work day was a bit hectic.Though doing my job went well,I had a run-in with a troublemaker.This is a guy who I have had run-ins with before.This guy loves to rub people the worng way and get under their gourds.Not only that,the worst part of this was I didn't get any justice from this incident.Fortunately for me,the work day was winding down and I didn't have to put up with this guy's baloney for long.After bagging everything and dropping it off,I headed for home.
When I got home,I immediately ran out again.I had to go and withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that,I filled my gas tank because we are going to have a cold night tonight.I felt that it would be better for me to have a full tank so I will not have a tough time starting my 4X4 in the morning when I have to go and do the laundry pick-up tomorrow morning.
After filling my tank,I went to a nearby supermarket to buy a few things for the home and I headed back home where I am here to stay.
After eating,I finished my personal PC work and I also wrote a few e-mails.Before I started typing this,I heard from a friend of mine that one of his brothers passed away.He also told me that he was very shook up about it and while I was talking to him,he was really crying hard because he hadn't spoken to this particular older for quite a while because another brother of his lied to him that he was dead.This death came as a shock to him and after we talked for a few minutes,we hung up.Overall,a pretty fair day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,there has not been any problems.I guess that I have to keep busy with things so my mind isn't preoccupied with sex so much.I will just have to find new activities to do so I will not be thinking of sex so much.
As stated,tomorrow is a pick-up day and I am hoping that the pick up goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have really no plans except to simply go home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, February 16, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I had a semi busy day.First,I dropped my mom off at a local supermarket so she could pick up a few things.After doing that,I went to my mechanic's garage to pay him the weekly money that I promised him.After paying him,I went and had a light but late lunch at a nearby Mighty Taco.It was a Nachos Deluxe and after I ate,I went to the supermarket to check and see if my mom was done shopping,which she was.
After dropping her off,I ran one last thing before settling down for the rest of the day.After that was done,I did some last minute personal computer work and I had a light dinner.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more videos over on the YouTube site and I also did some personal e-mail work.I also contacted someone regarding a problem that I am having with my trying to convert some vinyls that I have to MP3 format.I am hoping that I can get some answers from the people.I want to start some transfers and I am hoping that I can get the problem resolved.Overall,a semi busy day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems today.Nothing really came into my mind.I guess that I need to keep myself busy a lot more so my mind is not preoccupied with anything having to do with sex.I just need towork on this a lot more.I am hoping that I can find some good coping methods alongside what I did today.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today was my day off.I had a semi busy day.First,I dropped my mom off at a local supermarket so she could pick up a few things.After doing that,I went to my mechanic's garage to pay him the weekly money that I promised him.After paying him,I went and had a light but late lunch at a nearby Mighty Taco.It was a Nachos Deluxe and after I ate,I went to the supermarket to check and see if my mom was done shopping,which she was.
After dropping her off,I ran one last thing before settling down for the rest of the day.After that was done,I did some last minute personal computer work and I had a light dinner.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more videos over on the YouTube site and I also did some personal e-mail work.I also contacted someone regarding a problem that I am having with my trying to convert some vinyls that I have to MP3 format.I am hoping that I can get some answers from the people.I want to start some transfers and I am hoping that I can get the problem resolved.Overall,a semi busy day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems today.Nothing really came into my mind.I guess that I need to keep myself busy a lot more so my mind is not preoccupied with anything having to do with sex.I just need towork on this a lot more.I am hoping that I can find some good coping methods alongside what I did today.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a day where I wasn't so busy.But I did manage to get some important things done after I did my personal PC work.I had to pick up a few things that were needed for the home and I also had a light but late lunch at a nearby Taco Bell.After eating that,I went to the nearby Burger King to get a small milk because despite Taco Bell having milk on their menu,they didn't have it there to sell.But I got it and that was great.I headed straight home after that.
After getting home,I relaxed after making my bed and I listened to an old record of mine while relaxing.I ate a light dinner after that.
After eating,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed computer work.I also watched a couple of YouTube video on how to transfer music from vinyl and cassette tapes to MP3 and wav files.I did download the software called Audacity and I also put a Windows movie maker icon on my desktop so I can easily open it when I want to use it.I just need to get the necessary jacks and cables to transfer the music from my records and tapes so I can start burning them to CD's in the near future.I now have most of what I need for that and I am looking forward to making CD's out of some of my vinyl and tapes.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was a really great night for me.I had a blast and I also got quite a bit of positive responses from the crowd.It was an awesome night and I am looking forward to next Saturday night.
As for the rest of the night,I am thinking of going out and having a drink or two with the guys over at the place where I entertain.I am hoping for some great conversations with them.
As for my struggles with SSA,I had a couple of episodes.Last night,when I tried to go to sleep,I had a vision in my mind where a guy I used to know tried to make me admit that I was Gay and that he had already known and he wanted to hear it from me.I was also talking to myself denying this and all of a sudden,I started having an erection.I prayed hard to the creator to help me get rid of this vision and the immoral thoughts out of my mind.I prayed hard and I got up to use the bathroom and all of a sudden,the vision and the thoughts quickly died down.After I finished my prayers,I slept through the night with no problems.When I woke up this morning,I woke up with another erection and the immoral thoughts were starting to creep back.Since I had to get up,I took a walk downstairs and the erection along with immoral thoughts died down and faded.Though I didn't act out,I still had the thought racing through and though I did get rid of them and overcame them without any acting out,I have to be on guard when they do come back so I will know what to do when this happens again.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have lots to do.I have to take my mom to a supermarket to do some shopping and I also have to go to my mechanic's garage to pay him the money that I have to go towards what I owe him for the repairs that he did on my 4X4.After that,I have no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of teh new week ahead.FJ
Today was a day where I wasn't so busy.But I did manage to get some important things done after I did my personal PC work.I had to pick up a few things that were needed for the home and I also had a light but late lunch at a nearby Taco Bell.After eating that,I went to the nearby Burger King to get a small milk because despite Taco Bell having milk on their menu,they didn't have it there to sell.But I got it and that was great.I headed straight home after that.
After getting home,I relaxed after making my bed and I listened to an old record of mine while relaxing.I ate a light dinner after that.
After eating,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed computer work.I also watched a couple of YouTube video on how to transfer music from vinyl and cassette tapes to MP3 and wav files.I did download the software called Audacity and I also put a Windows movie maker icon on my desktop so I can easily open it when I want to use it.I just need to get the necessary jacks and cables to transfer the music from my records and tapes so I can start burning them to CD's in the near future.I now have most of what I need for that and I am looking forward to making CD's out of some of my vinyl and tapes.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was a really great night for me.I had a blast and I also got quite a bit of positive responses from the crowd.It was an awesome night and I am looking forward to next Saturday night.
As for the rest of the night,I am thinking of going out and having a drink or two with the guys over at the place where I entertain.I am hoping for some great conversations with them.
As for my struggles with SSA,I had a couple of episodes.Last night,when I tried to go to sleep,I had a vision in my mind where a guy I used to know tried to make me admit that I was Gay and that he had already known and he wanted to hear it from me.I was also talking to myself denying this and all of a sudden,I started having an erection.I prayed hard to the creator to help me get rid of this vision and the immoral thoughts out of my mind.I prayed hard and I got up to use the bathroom and all of a sudden,the vision and the thoughts quickly died down.After I finished my prayers,I slept through the night with no problems.When I woke up this morning,I woke up with another erection and the immoral thoughts were starting to creep back.Since I had to get up,I took a walk downstairs and the erection along with immoral thoughts died down and faded.Though I didn't act out,I still had the thought racing through and though I did get rid of them and overcame them without any acting out,I have to be on guard when they do come back so I will know what to do when this happens again.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have lots to do.I have to take my mom to a supermarket to do some shopping and I also have to go to my mechanic's garage to pay him the money that I have to go towards what I owe him for the repairs that he did on my 4X4.After that,I have no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of teh new week ahead.FJ
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