Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,it was another rainy type of day.This time,I had to get out and do some necessary shopping that needed to get done.I was couped up in the house yesterday as a result of a rainstorm that we had.Today,it was only a minor rainfall,but I had to get out.
Today,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed and after that,I headed over to a local bargain outlet store to see if they had anything that I was looking for,which they didn't.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the ups and downs of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was awakened by yet another erection in the wee early morning hours and again,I was tempted to masturbate the erection away,though it didn't last very long.I had to get up and use the bathroom anyway,so I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.After I was finished,the erection was fully softened and I went right back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men while I was still in bed trying to get back up,though still feeling tired.Fortunately for myself,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into this particular temptation.Throughout the rest of the day,I was constantly tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in many ways,shapes and forms.I get tempted to lust,fantasize and also,to manipulate my genitals to these things,especially when sexual images of men start clouding my mind whenever I am feeling tired or feeling lonely.I also still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation comes around rather than go out and feed it as acting out,no matter what form it takes,will never give me what I truly need and/or want.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me.I prayed and asked for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that kept coming at from all sides and after I was finished,I felt much stronger and truly knew and believed that God and Christ were there to strengthen me and get me through the worst.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am really in desperate need of prayer as I am being attacked from all sides by these terrible temptations.I also again ask that all of you who follow my blog to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really need some encouraging words right now.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but rarely leave a comment of any kind.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I only ask these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also motivate me to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I don't want to feel this way anymore.I seek support and encouragement in my healing and when visitors don't post anything encouraging,I feel that I am all alone here and I don't want to feel that way.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging and supportive comment when you do visit my blog.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I am also planning to go see a movie at the local bargain movie theater in my hometown.As for the rest of the day,I just might sit down and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.
Today,I stayed home for much of the day as we had a rainy day.It was rainy all day and I just felt that it would be best to stay home and simply catch up on some much needed work that needed to be done around the house.I was just feeling bored and there really wasn't much to do,so I simply caught up on some much needed work that needed to be done.After the work was done,I relaxed and took it easy and I simply watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets easier day after day,or at times,minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.My moods and/or emotions vary and at times,it does get pretty tiresome,frustrating and draining.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult or overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this struggle to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,put everything in their hands when it starts to get really tough and I have them take the lead and they both help in sustaining me.They show me,in their own way,that they are there leading the way and making sure that I stay level and clam.They also help quiet any noises and/or hallucinatory effects that are the symptoms of having schizophrenia and also,the ups and downs of BPD.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last long.I turned to my left side when it happened and though it was slow,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into a later temptation while still in bed when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind,but I did manage to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in even more fantasies and lusting after other men and ti manipulate my genitals to these images.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.It is a difficult fight that I have struggling with the terrible SSA,but I can't let the unnatural desires that I have dictate nor define who I am nor who I will be.I have to constantly let these desires that I have know that I own them and not let them own me.I am going to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every time I get tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have come in any way,shape of form.I am also again asking that all of you please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this really trying and difficult emotional time.Please continue in prayer for me as I am going through all of this.I also ask that all you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and that motivates me to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.
Today,I stayed home for much of the day as we had a rainy day.It was rainy all day and I just felt that it would be best to stay home and simply catch up on some much needed work that needed to be done around the house.I was just feeling bored and there really wasn't much to do,so I simply caught up on some much needed work that needed to be done.After the work was done,I relaxed and took it easy and I simply watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets easier day after day,or at times,minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.My moods and/or emotions vary and at times,it does get pretty tiresome,frustrating and draining.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult or overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this struggle to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,put everything in their hands when it starts to get really tough and I have them take the lead and they both help in sustaining me.They show me,in their own way,that they are there leading the way and making sure that I stay level and clam.They also help quiet any noises and/or hallucinatory effects that are the symptoms of having schizophrenia and also,the ups and downs of BPD.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last long.I turned to my left side when it happened and though it was slow,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into a later temptation while still in bed when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind,but I did manage to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in even more fantasies and lusting after other men and ti manipulate my genitals to these images.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.It is a difficult fight that I have struggling with the terrible SSA,but I can't let the unnatural desires that I have dictate nor define who I am nor who I will be.I have to constantly let these desires that I have know that I own them and not let them own me.I am going to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every time I get tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have come in any way,shape of form.I am also again asking that all of you please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this really trying and difficult emotional time.Please continue in prayer for me as I am going through all of this.I also ask that all you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and that motivates me to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, May 09, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I headed out to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.Before all of that,I had to met with a counselor to finish up my resume by updating it with my current phone number and to also sign some papers that I have to sign each and every month.
The group meeting went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to the local public works department to drop off an old microwave oven for proper recycling and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed.I also finished my personal PC work.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have anything to worry about nor fear when it comes to my mental health struggles and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.The urge to masturbate the erection away was really overwhelming and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I got up out of bed and I walked to the bathroom as I had to go really bad.While walking there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and also,back to sleep.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into two later temptations at two separate intervals,one in the morning after getting up for the day and later in the early afternoon.On both intervals,sexual images of men had clouded my mind and the temptations to lust after them and fantasize with them also came at me and I actually gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia to these images on both occasions,but I did manage to stop myself before going too far in both of these falls and on both occasions,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and I prayed real hard as I did feel miserable after giving into these two terrible temptations.I prayed real hard and I felt better after both of these as I truly believed that God had heard me,forgave me and wiped the slate clean of my sins.This is a very difficult struggle as it gets even more difficult by the day.This week has been very emotionally trying for me as I had to go through a mildly painful procedure at the urology associates office within another area of the county where I live and the anxiety and fear of finding out if there is something wrong or not.Plus,sharing my medical problems with someone that I know who always keeps making obnoxious and immature sexual themed jokes rather than give me some support and encouragement that I am truly seeking whenever I share any problems that I have.The temptations have really been coming at me from all sides as of late and I really don't know whether I am coming or going or what I will do if they get worse.These temptations even include the all too common temptation of going out to seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but as I have stated time and time again,I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation rears it ugly head rather than going out and feeding it,which will never give me what I want no way no how.I am again asking that all of you keep praying for me as I am going through this very difficult emotionally trying time and also,I would really appreciate some encouraging words in the comments section please.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of any kind.Please don't be shy and leave some encouraging words for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue diligently in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I headed out to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.Before all of that,I had to met with a counselor to finish up my resume by updating it with my current phone number and to also sign some papers that I have to sign each and every month.
The group meeting went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to the local public works department to drop off an old microwave oven for proper recycling and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed.I also finished my personal PC work.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have anything to worry about nor fear when it comes to my mental health struggles and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.The urge to masturbate the erection away was really overwhelming and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I got up out of bed and I walked to the bathroom as I had to go really bad.While walking there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and also,back to sleep.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into two later temptations at two separate intervals,one in the morning after getting up for the day and later in the early afternoon.On both intervals,sexual images of men had clouded my mind and the temptations to lust after them and fantasize with them also came at me and I actually gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia to these images on both occasions,but I did manage to stop myself before going too far in both of these falls and on both occasions,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and I prayed real hard as I did feel miserable after giving into these two terrible temptations.I prayed real hard and I felt better after both of these as I truly believed that God had heard me,forgave me and wiped the slate clean of my sins.This is a very difficult struggle as it gets even more difficult by the day.This week has been very emotionally trying for me as I had to go through a mildly painful procedure at the urology associates office within another area of the county where I live and the anxiety and fear of finding out if there is something wrong or not.Plus,sharing my medical problems with someone that I know who always keeps making obnoxious and immature sexual themed jokes rather than give me some support and encouragement that I am truly seeking whenever I share any problems that I have.The temptations have really been coming at me from all sides as of late and I really don't know whether I am coming or going or what I will do if they get worse.These temptations even include the all too common temptation of going out to seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but as I have stated time and time again,I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation rears it ugly head rather than going out and feeding it,which will never give me what I want no way no how.I am again asking that all of you keep praying for me as I am going through this very difficult emotionally trying time and also,I would really appreciate some encouraging words in the comments section please.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of any kind.Please don't be shy and leave some encouraging words for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue diligently in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, May 08, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my insurance agent's office to pay my car insurance for the month and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I headed over to a friend's place to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to fold all of my laundry up and put it away and it took me 20 minutes to do.After that,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or on other days,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It does make me feel a little better knowing that God and Christ are leading the way and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and I walked to the bathroom as I had to use it.The erection had fully softened once I was finished in the bathroom.I went right back to sleep afterwards.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals to lustful and sexual images of men clouding my mind,but managed to stop myself before it went too far and immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I repeatedly begged for his mercy while praying.After that,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.Throughout the rest of the day,I was tempted to indulge in Homosexual themed fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals along to those fantasies and lusting.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as they kept coming at me and I did feel much better and much stronger after doing so.The struggle with SSA is never an easy one at all.Temptations can come when least expected and when they do come,it is very difficult to resist them.Aside from indulging in lustful fantasies with sexual images of men,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply,willfully and usually choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around.If I am out when that particular temptation comes around,I try to change my frame of mind by going somewhere until the temptation dies down or I will head for home and try to think of wholesome and healthy thoughts to get my mind off of anything sexual with men.I am really going through a really difficult time in my life,as I had to have tests done on me to see what could be wrong with me,as to why I was going through the difficulties of the frequent bathroom going and the pain in my groin area.I am still feeling the fallout of all of these things and it will take me quite a while to get over.I am going to need all the prayers and encouragement that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts daily.Please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time trying to get over the stresses and anxieties of the procedure that I had to go through yesterday.Please keep praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both do help keep me going in this struggle against this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I know that I keep repeating this,but it is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind,especially encouraging ones,are rare.When visiting or just being curious,please leave me an encouraging word or two.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my insurance agent's office to pay my car insurance for the month and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I headed over to a friend's place to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to fold all of my laundry up and put it away and it took me 20 minutes to do.After that,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or on other days,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It does make me feel a little better knowing that God and Christ are leading the way and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and I walked to the bathroom as I had to use it.The erection had fully softened once I was finished in the bathroom.I went right back to sleep afterwards.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals to lustful and sexual images of men clouding my mind,but managed to stop myself before it went too far and immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I repeatedly begged for his mercy while praying.After that,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.Throughout the rest of the day,I was tempted to indulge in Homosexual themed fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals along to those fantasies and lusting.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as they kept coming at me and I did feel much better and much stronger after doing so.The struggle with SSA is never an easy one at all.Temptations can come when least expected and when they do come,it is very difficult to resist them.Aside from indulging in lustful fantasies with sexual images of men,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply,willfully and usually choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around.If I am out when that particular temptation comes around,I try to change my frame of mind by going somewhere until the temptation dies down or I will head for home and try to think of wholesome and healthy thoughts to get my mind off of anything sexual with men.I am really going through a really difficult time in my life,as I had to have tests done on me to see what could be wrong with me,as to why I was going through the difficulties of the frequent bathroom going and the pain in my groin area.I am still feeling the fallout of all of these things and it will take me quite a while to get over.I am going to need all the prayers and encouragement that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts daily.Please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time trying to get over the stresses and anxieties of the procedure that I had to go through yesterday.Please keep praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both do help keep me going in this struggle against this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I know that I keep repeating this,but it is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind,especially encouraging ones,are rare.When visiting or just being curious,please leave me an encouraging word or two.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, May 07, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I had only one really big thing on my agenda for today.I had an appointment with a urology associates office to get my groin area checked out to see what could be causing my problems in my frequent bathroom going throughout the day and also,the pains that I've been getting in my groin area.
The whole thing took almost a minute,and according to the doctor,everything checks out good,but he did say that my prostate gland is acting up and he advised me to continue taking the prescribed medication and I also got two antibiotic pills to take with dinner for two nights,including tonight.After the whole procedure was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.I also went out to pick up something for dinner as I wasn't in the mood to cook anything and I was still feeling a little at edge after the procedure that I had today was done.
After eating my take-out dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done today as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to deal with schizophrenic tendencies at the same time and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me in the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of deep sleep.I turned to the left side of my bed and the erections softened and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Thought I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation a little later on when it was daylight when lustful and sexual images crept up into my mind while I was still in bed and not fully awake at that point and I manipulated my genitals to these images,but I managed to stop myself before going too far.When I finally got up out of bed,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into these particular temptations and I really prayed hard to God for that forgiveness and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that God has wiped the slate clean and forgotten my sins.Throughout the rest of the day,I really didn't have any more problems as the procedure that I had to endure later on in the day was on my mind for the rest of the day.I am still feeling a little at edge after the whole thing,but I am just glad that it is all over with.My mind wasn't on anything except the procedure and also,that sort of kept my mind clear of all things immoral.I am still going to feel a little irritation for the next few days while I urinate,but it will hopefully be gone within that few days.I am again asking that all of you continue in prayer for me.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.They make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of folding up my laundry,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I had only one really big thing on my agenda for today.I had an appointment with a urology associates office to get my groin area checked out to see what could be causing my problems in my frequent bathroom going throughout the day and also,the pains that I've been getting in my groin area.
The whole thing took almost a minute,and according to the doctor,everything checks out good,but he did say that my prostate gland is acting up and he advised me to continue taking the prescribed medication and I also got two antibiotic pills to take with dinner for two nights,including tonight.After the whole procedure was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.I also went out to pick up something for dinner as I wasn't in the mood to cook anything and I was still feeling a little at edge after the procedure that I had today was done.
After eating my take-out dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done today as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to deal with schizophrenic tendencies at the same time and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me in the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of deep sleep.I turned to the left side of my bed and the erections softened and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Thought I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation a little later on when it was daylight when lustful and sexual images crept up into my mind while I was still in bed and not fully awake at that point and I manipulated my genitals to these images,but I managed to stop myself before going too far.When I finally got up out of bed,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into these particular temptations and I really prayed hard to God for that forgiveness and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that God has wiped the slate clean and forgotten my sins.Throughout the rest of the day,I really didn't have any more problems as the procedure that I had to endure later on in the day was on my mind for the rest of the day.I am still feeling a little at edge after the whole thing,but I am just glad that it is all over with.My mind wasn't on anything except the procedure and also,that sort of kept my mind clear of all things immoral.I am still going to feel a little irritation for the next few days while I urinate,but it will hopefully be gone within that few days.I am again asking that all of you continue in prayer for me.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.They make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of folding up my laundry,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, May 06, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and before I showered,I made a couple of phone calls to messages that were left on my voice-mail.After that,I went into the shower to clean myself.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I went to a local gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed into another area of the county that I lived in to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I leave nothing out.They both help in sustaining me whenever I do that.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,when I was still in bed,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals with lustful and sexual thoughts of men creeping up into my mind.Fortunately for me,I managed to stop myself from going further and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him with this latest fall.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I didn't want to fall again.I prayed all throughout the day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked God for the strength to fight and resist all of the temptations that were coming at me from all sides and I felt much stronger as I truly and totally believed and had faith that God and Christ both heard me.I am also again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through an emotionally rough time.I also ask that all of you to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Don't be shy and leave something encouraging for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in hoping to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment to get my groin area checked out to see what could be causing my frequent bathroom going throughout the day and the pain that I also get in that area.As for the rest of the day,I haven't made any other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and before I showered,I made a couple of phone calls to messages that were left on my voice-mail.After that,I went into the shower to clean myself.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I went to a local gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed into another area of the county that I lived in to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I leave nothing out.They both help in sustaining me whenever I do that.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,when I was still in bed,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals with lustful and sexual thoughts of men creeping up into my mind.Fortunately for me,I managed to stop myself from going further and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him with this latest fall.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I didn't want to fall again.I prayed all throughout the day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked God for the strength to fight and resist all of the temptations that were coming at me from all sides and I felt much stronger as I truly and totally believed and had faith that God and Christ both heard me.I am also again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through an emotionally rough time.I also ask that all of you to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Don't be shy and leave something encouraging for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in hoping to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment to get my groin area checked out to see what could be causing my frequent bathroom going throughout the day and the pain that I also get in that area.As for the rest of the day,I haven't made any other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, May 05, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful as usual.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after paying for them,I headed for a nearby Payless Shoe Source to check out what they had for sale and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit,changed into my casual clothes and fixed myself a quick lunch.After lunch,I did my personal PC work and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a whole bunch of empty bottles that I needed to turn into the store.I headed over to a local supermarket to turn them in and it took me quite a while to get them all returned and get the money after collecting the receipts.After that was done,I headed for the nearby Target to check out their inventory of sneakers,for which I didn't find much.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money that I received from the bottle returns at the Where's George site.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.It can be pretty monotonous and tiresome at times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel only a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed and the erection started to soften as I was doing that.I walked for a bit and as I walked,the erection continues to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted minimally throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect to the lusting and fantasies.I had to continually ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist all of these urges and I did feel better after doing that.I felt much stronger and I also felt that God and Christ both heard me.I simply took it to God and Christ throughout the day and I tried not to fall even once.Though I have been doing that,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts on here to please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and also motivate me to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have,which are connected to this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful as usual.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after paying for them,I headed for a nearby Payless Shoe Source to check out what they had for sale and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit,changed into my casual clothes and fixed myself a quick lunch.After lunch,I did my personal PC work and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a whole bunch of empty bottles that I needed to turn into the store.I headed over to a local supermarket to turn them in and it took me quite a while to get them all returned and get the money after collecting the receipts.After that was done,I headed for the nearby Target to check out their inventory of sneakers,for which I didn't find much.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money that I received from the bottle returns at the Where's George site.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.It can be pretty monotonous and tiresome at times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel only a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed and the erection started to soften as I was doing that.I walked for a bit and as I walked,the erection continues to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted minimally throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect to the lusting and fantasies.I had to continually ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist all of these urges and I did feel better after doing that.I felt much stronger and I also felt that God and Christ both heard me.I simply took it to God and Christ throughout the day and I tried not to fall even once.Though I have been doing that,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts on here to please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and also motivate me to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have,which are connected to this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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