Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly e-mailed a friend of mine and after that was done,I headed out to my monthly Men's Network group meeting.I was looking forward to this meeting with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meting was wonderful.We had some small talk and after the talk,we watched a DVD of a guy speaking on stage about Jesus Christ and his father God and all.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I made a few stops.I first stopped at a Salvation Army thrift store in the area and after that,I had myself a quick lunch over at Burger King.After that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescription refills and a few other things.After paying for all of that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and after I was done with that,I relaxed and watched a DVD after popping it into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better very soon in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,my temptation to act out was again minimal if nil at best.I had no temptation nor urge to act out in any way,shape or form.Though I did escape today,I still need to be on guard and to be watchful.The temptation to act out will reemerge when least expected.I need to be on guard as the urge to indulge in masturbation when tempted can come strong and at times,feels unbearable.But I know that I do have a choice.But at times,the urge to masturbate can be strong and when it is,it can be pretty difficult to resist.The reason why it is so hard to resist or to overcome is because when anyone,male or female,masturbates,it does feel good as our genitals are simply soft skin tissue with no bones in them and it does feel good to rub or play with them until ejaculation.The good feelings that are experienced with that activity would make anyone yearn to feel them repeatedly by simply masturbating again and again.But I have to remain strong when that urge comes around.I have to resist the temptation to act out in that way as masturbation is a form of acting out and it doesn't matter whether it's emotional,sexual or both.Again,though it was good that I escaped today,tomorrow is another day and so is the day after that and so on.Each day is always a new challenge.
Tomorrow,I am hoping and planning to attend the morning's church service and in the early afternoon,I am hoping and planning to get my laundry done at the laundromat.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, February 04, 2012
Friday, February 03, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I got dressed.I had some stuff planned for the day and I wanted to get them done.
Before I did anything,I had to stop over at a garage to get my car checked out.I wanted them to check out what could be wrong with my car's electrical system.My "door ajar" light on the dash wouldn't go off.My trunk button wouldn't function right and my power door locks were also not working properly.They simply did 2/3 of the work.They fixed the power door locks and they got the light off,but I need a new latch for the trunk in order for the trunk button to work properly.I told them that the minute that I get my income tax refund check,I will call them and have them order the part so the work can be done.They said okay and I left the garage.After that,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and myself and afterwards,I went to the post office to mail out an important letter that needed to be mailed.After doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,my temptation to act out on my desires were minimal if nil at best today.I simply went through the day and I didn't have no temptations nor any urges to act out nor masturbate.Though I again escaped unscathed today,I still need to be on guard and be watchful.The temptation to act out on my SSA desires can happen again when least expected.I still need to be watchful as that temptation can come back.I am not waiting for it to come back as that would be silly.I need to learn to be on guard and to be watchful when it rears it's ugly head again.Again,though I escaped today,I still have to be on guard,be watchful and stay strong whenever it does.I am hoping that I will be strong when temptation does indeed rear it's ugly head again.
Tomorrow,I have a Men's Network meeting that I need to attend and I am hoping that it goes great.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I got dressed.I had some stuff planned for the day and I wanted to get them done.
Before I did anything,I had to stop over at a garage to get my car checked out.I wanted them to check out what could be wrong with my car's electrical system.My "door ajar" light on the dash wouldn't go off.My trunk button wouldn't function right and my power door locks were also not working properly.They simply did 2/3 of the work.They fixed the power door locks and they got the light off,but I need a new latch for the trunk in order for the trunk button to work properly.I told them that the minute that I get my income tax refund check,I will call them and have them order the part so the work can be done.They said okay and I left the garage.After that,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and myself and afterwards,I went to the post office to mail out an important letter that needed to be mailed.After doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,my temptation to act out on my desires were minimal if nil at best today.I simply went through the day and I didn't have no temptations nor any urges to act out nor masturbate.Though I again escaped unscathed today,I still need to be on guard and be watchful.The temptation to act out on my SSA desires can happen again when least expected.I still need to be watchful as that temptation can come back.I am not waiting for it to come back as that would be silly.I need to learn to be on guard and to be watchful when it rears it's ugly head again.Again,though I escaped today,I still have to be on guard,be watchful and stay strong whenever it does.I am hoping that I will be strong when temptation does indeed rear it's ugly head again.
Tomorrow,I have a Men's Network meeting that I need to attend and I am hoping that it goes great.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, February 02, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had some things planned and I wanted to get the accomplished.
I first went to a spirituality group that I attend every Thursday.I always look forward to attending this and I was looking forward to it today as usual.
The group was wonderful.I got so much out of it all.After the group,I headed over to a community kitchen to have lunch.After eating lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up several things.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things there as well.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away in their proper places and I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best today.I really didn't have the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.Still,despite escaping today,I need to stay on guard and be watchful.Temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I may not have been tempted today,but I can be tempted tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am not waiting for it to happen.It is just that I have to keep in mind that it can happen and when it does happen,I have to fight the temptation and resist the temptation to sin.I know that it won't be easy,but it can be done.I will have to keep fighting this and be determined not to give in.It will take all of my strength,but I know that I can do it.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had some things planned and I wanted to get the accomplished.
I first went to a spirituality group that I attend every Thursday.I always look forward to attending this and I was looking forward to it today as usual.
The group was wonderful.I got so much out of it all.After the group,I headed over to a community kitchen to have lunch.After eating lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up several things.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things there as well.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away in their proper places and I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best today.I really didn't have the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.Still,despite escaping today,I need to stay on guard and be watchful.Temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I may not have been tempted today,but I can be tempted tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am not waiting for it to happen.It is just that I have to keep in mind that it can happen and when it does happen,I have to fight the temptation and resist the temptation to sin.I know that it won't be easy,but it can be done.I will have to keep fighting this and be determined not to give in.It will take all of my strength,but I know that I can do it.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up a little later than usual and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed for much of the rest of the morning before getting dressed to get ready for the appointment that I had today.
I had an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor today and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.It has been several weeks since my last session with her and I wanted to update her on what has been going on in my life since the last session.I had a lot to talk with her about and again,I was looking forward to this.
The session went wonderful.It was really a great talk that I had with her.I shared with her everything that was going in my life,including the medical tests that I recently went through.After the session,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things that were needed for the home.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery is continuing,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery continues and that I start improving in the near and distant future.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,today was the first day in a while that I had no morning erections.I had really no temptation to act out today as my temptation was almost non-existant.I only had a small urge to act out,but I managed to fight this and I was okay for the rest of the day.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best.Though I was happy about this,I still have to keep on guard and be watchful as temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I escaped today,but tomorrow and the near future are other days.One day may be good,but the others may be not so good.I just have to keep fighting this when it does indeed come around.Temptation can happen when least expected and when it happens,I will have to fight it.The fight with temptation is never an easy fight,but it can be won if I can remain strong and keep fighting when it comes.Again,I may have escaped today,but there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I know that being tempted isn't sinful,but it is sinful to give into the temptation.I still have to keep that in mind.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend and I am hoping that it goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up a little later than usual and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed for much of the rest of the morning before getting dressed to get ready for the appointment that I had today.
I had an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor today and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.It has been several weeks since my last session with her and I wanted to update her on what has been going on in my life since the last session.I had a lot to talk with her about and again,I was looking forward to this.
The session went wonderful.It was really a great talk that I had with her.I shared with her everything that was going in my life,including the medical tests that I recently went through.After the session,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things that were needed for the home.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery is continuing,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery continues and that I start improving in the near and distant future.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,today was the first day in a while that I had no morning erections.I had really no temptation to act out today as my temptation was almost non-existant.I only had a small urge to act out,but I managed to fight this and I was okay for the rest of the day.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best.Though I was happy about this,I still have to keep on guard and be watchful as temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I escaped today,but tomorrow and the near future are other days.One day may be good,but the others may be not so good.I just have to keep fighting this when it does indeed come around.Temptation can happen when least expected and when it happens,I will have to fight it.The fight with temptation is never an easy fight,but it can be won if I can remain strong and keep fighting when it comes.Again,I may have escaped today,but there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I know that being tempted isn't sinful,but it is sinful to give into the temptation.I still have to keep that in mind.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend and I am hoping that it goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After having my breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a pretty busy day planned.I had to go see the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital to get my new prescription and to hear the results of the medical tests that I had to go through at the orders of my general doctor.I was looking forward to this with a lot positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I was also hoping for some good news considering the tests.
The session went well and after I got my prescription,I headed for home.I also got the results of at least two of my tests.My blood work came back great as my cholesterol was low and my blood sugar was good.I am still pretty healthy and also,my cat scan revealed that I have a minor sinus problem and that is why I have headaches frequently.Since I can't take any over the counter decongestants as a result of my having high blood pressure,I will have to invest in getting Echinacea with GoldenSeal tea to take to relieve sinus pressure.I have to get some.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up some stuff that was needed for the home.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours.I woke up with another erection in the middle of the night and my temptation to masturbate it away was very strong.The erection was also another throbber.I was breathing heavily to try to resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away as I really had the overwhelming desire to simply masturbate this away.I tossed and I turned,but finally decided to get up as I had to use the bathroom.As I walked to the bathroom,my penis softened and after I used the bathroom,I went back to sleep.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best.While I did escape this,the temptation to act out will rear it's ugly head again.I am not waiting for it,but I know that I have to stay on guard as that temptation will again rear it's ugly head.I just have to hang in there and remain strong whenever that happens.I know that I am imperfect human,but I can't let myself be enslaved to sin or act out on my desires.I have to let my imperfect state know that I am the boss of my body and my body is not my boss.I have to keep reminding myself that I can never let my sexuality own me.I have to let my sexuality know that I own it.It is going to be a challenge,but I am more than able to live up to that challenge.I have to remain strong and let my body know that I am it's boss and not the other way around.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor and I am hoping that the session goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After having my breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a pretty busy day planned.I had to go see the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital to get my new prescription and to hear the results of the medical tests that I had to go through at the orders of my general doctor.I was looking forward to this with a lot positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I was also hoping for some good news considering the tests.
The session went well and after I got my prescription,I headed for home.I also got the results of at least two of my tests.My blood work came back great as my cholesterol was low and my blood sugar was good.I am still pretty healthy and also,my cat scan revealed that I have a minor sinus problem and that is why I have headaches frequently.Since I can't take any over the counter decongestants as a result of my having high blood pressure,I will have to invest in getting Echinacea with GoldenSeal tea to take to relieve sinus pressure.I have to get some.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up some stuff that was needed for the home.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours.I woke up with another erection in the middle of the night and my temptation to masturbate it away was very strong.The erection was also another throbber.I was breathing heavily to try to resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away as I really had the overwhelming desire to simply masturbate this away.I tossed and I turned,but finally decided to get up as I had to use the bathroom.As I walked to the bathroom,my penis softened and after I used the bathroom,I went back to sleep.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best.While I did escape this,the temptation to act out will rear it's ugly head again.I am not waiting for it,but I know that I have to stay on guard as that temptation will again rear it's ugly head.I just have to hang in there and remain strong whenever that happens.I know that I am imperfect human,but I can't let myself be enslaved to sin or act out on my desires.I have to let my imperfect state know that I am the boss of my body and my body is not my boss.I have to keep reminding myself that I can never let my sexuality own me.I have to let my sexuality know that I own it.It is going to be a challenge,but I am more than able to live up to that challenge.I have to remain strong and let my body know that I am it's boss and not the other way around.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor and I am hoping that the session goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, January 30, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a lot planned for the day.
I had a couple of groups on my agenda today.They were both in the early afternoon.But before I went to those,I had lunch at a local community kitchen and after eating that,I headed over to the location where the groups were so I could attend them and get what I needed out of them.
The groups both went well.After they were over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that,I headed over to the local Sears to pick up some things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money at the Where's George site and after that,I went back out to get some dinner from the local McDonalds.
After eating when I got home,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a double whammy in the wee early morning hours.I actually,for the first time in a long time,wound up with two morning erections.The first happened around 4:30am while the second happened around 6:15am.My temptation to masturbate these away was very overwhelming and strong.For the first one,I tossed and turned until my penis softened while with the second one,I simply got up as I had to use the bathroom anyway.While walking to the bathroom,my penis softened.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was mild,but still strong.I resisted the temptation to act out all day focusing on good things and thinking about all the ways that God helped set me free from the trap of Homosexuality.I stayed focused on that for the rest of the day and the temptation to act out slowly weakened.But again,I still need to keep on guard whenever temptation rears it's ugly head.It can when least expected.I have to stay on guard and be watchful.Temptation can come when least expected.When it does,I have to fight it.I know that being tempted,in itself,is not sinful.But giving in to the temptation is sinful.Again,I need to continue to stay on guard and be watchful and keep fighting temptation whenever it rears it's ugly head.
Tomorrow,I have to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a lot planned for the day.
I had a couple of groups on my agenda today.They were both in the early afternoon.But before I went to those,I had lunch at a local community kitchen and after eating that,I headed over to the location where the groups were so I could attend them and get what I needed out of them.
The groups both went well.After they were over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that,I headed over to the local Sears to pick up some things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money at the Where's George site and after that,I went back out to get some dinner from the local McDonalds.
After eating when I got home,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a double whammy in the wee early morning hours.I actually,for the first time in a long time,wound up with two morning erections.The first happened around 4:30am while the second happened around 6:15am.My temptation to masturbate these away was very overwhelming and strong.For the first one,I tossed and turned until my penis softened while with the second one,I simply got up as I had to use the bathroom anyway.While walking to the bathroom,my penis softened.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was mild,but still strong.I resisted the temptation to act out all day focusing on good things and thinking about all the ways that God helped set me free from the trap of Homosexuality.I stayed focused on that for the rest of the day and the temptation to act out slowly weakened.But again,I still need to keep on guard whenever temptation rears it's ugly head.It can when least expected.I have to stay on guard and be watchful.Temptation can come when least expected.When it does,I have to fight it.I know that being tempted,in itself,is not sinful.But giving in to the temptation is sinful.Again,I need to continue to stay on guard and be watchful and keep fighting temptation whenever it rears it's ugly head.
Tomorrow,I have to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today.I woke up in the early morning and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up immediately as I was going to go to this morning's church service and I was looking forward to it with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
Today,I had to really take my time getting to church.The roads were all covered with snow as it snowed overnight and was still snowing this morning.I cleaned off my car while it was warming up and headed for church.The roads were pretty slick this morning,but I made it,and was glad to have.
The first part of the morning was the Holy Bible study class.We watched some parts of a DVD called The Baloney Shop,as it was based on a video series from the church's Men's Network website.It was wonderful to watch these things and I guess that everybody got a lot out of watching them.After the class was over,we then prepared for the morning's service.
The service was wonderful.The sermon was based on 1st Corinthians Chapter 8:1-13 and it was terrific.The fellowship before and after the service was wonderful as I did talk with a lot of the regulars that worshiped there.After all of that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up my prescription refill that I made two nights ago.After paying for the refill,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work.After that was finished,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player as I had nothing else to do today as a result of the weather.I also have to say that getting home was tough as well due to all the slick spots on the road.But I manged to make it home unscathed and all in one piece.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to really start feeling better again in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate early this morning when another erection woke me up in wee hours of the morning.The erection was also another one of those throbbing ones.But as usual,I fought the temptation off by simply tossing and turning until my penis softened.I slept for a little while longer,until I had to wake up to get ready for church.For the rest of the day,I had only a mild temptation to act out on my desires.Though mild,it was still a strong one.I simply kept fighting the temptation for the rest of the day.It isn't easy fighting the temptation to act out by manipulating genitals to get them hard or near hard for the purpose of masturbation,but I stayed in the fight for the rest of the day and I just hung in there until the day ended.It isn't easy struggling with SSA and still having to learn on how to live without having anything sexual with a man or other men.Though I have been in the healing process for almost nine years,I am still learning how to live without having sexual relations with other men.I am finding that each and every day,it is never easy trying to live without sexual activity with another man,but I am still learning that I can live without it.My cravings to find male partners for the purpose of acting out sexually with them can be very strong and it is very difficult to resist that temptation.But I don't go out for that purpose as I know that acting out on my desires in that way,or even with masturbating,will never get me what I want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with the gender identity affirmation.Acting out on my desires,no matter what way it is,will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to overcome and be the man that not only I want to be,but the man that God wants me top be.I am still in the fight and though it is never easy,I know that I am doing this to please God and his son Jesus Christ.I always think of them first before doing anything that is wrong and keeping in mind that it would displease them if I were to sin and act out.After putting them first,it makes the fight a tad easier,though it is still difficult.
Tomorrow,I have to attend a couple of group meetings in the early afternoon.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today.I woke up in the early morning and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up immediately as I was going to go to this morning's church service and I was looking forward to it with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
Today,I had to really take my time getting to church.The roads were all covered with snow as it snowed overnight and was still snowing this morning.I cleaned off my car while it was warming up and headed for church.The roads were pretty slick this morning,but I made it,and was glad to have.
The first part of the morning was the Holy Bible study class.We watched some parts of a DVD called The Baloney Shop,as it was based on a video series from the church's Men's Network website.It was wonderful to watch these things and I guess that everybody got a lot out of watching them.After the class was over,we then prepared for the morning's service.
The service was wonderful.The sermon was based on 1st Corinthians Chapter 8:1-13 and it was terrific.The fellowship before and after the service was wonderful as I did talk with a lot of the regulars that worshiped there.After all of that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up my prescription refill that I made two nights ago.After paying for the refill,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work.After that was finished,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player as I had nothing else to do today as a result of the weather.I also have to say that getting home was tough as well due to all the slick spots on the road.But I manged to make it home unscathed and all in one piece.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to really start feeling better again in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate early this morning when another erection woke me up in wee hours of the morning.The erection was also another one of those throbbing ones.But as usual,I fought the temptation off by simply tossing and turning until my penis softened.I slept for a little while longer,until I had to wake up to get ready for church.For the rest of the day,I had only a mild temptation to act out on my desires.Though mild,it was still a strong one.I simply kept fighting the temptation for the rest of the day.It isn't easy fighting the temptation to act out by manipulating genitals to get them hard or near hard for the purpose of masturbation,but I stayed in the fight for the rest of the day and I just hung in there until the day ended.It isn't easy struggling with SSA and still having to learn on how to live without having anything sexual with a man or other men.Though I have been in the healing process for almost nine years,I am still learning how to live without having sexual relations with other men.I am finding that each and every day,it is never easy trying to live without sexual activity with another man,but I am still learning that I can live without it.My cravings to find male partners for the purpose of acting out sexually with them can be very strong and it is very difficult to resist that temptation.But I don't go out for that purpose as I know that acting out on my desires in that way,or even with masturbating,will never get me what I want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with the gender identity affirmation.Acting out on my desires,no matter what way it is,will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to overcome and be the man that not only I want to be,but the man that God wants me top be.I am still in the fight and though it is never easy,I know that I am doing this to please God and his son Jesus Christ.I always think of them first before doing anything that is wrong and keeping in mind that it would displease them if I were to sin and act out.After putting them first,it makes the fight a tad easier,though it is still difficult.
Tomorrow,I have to attend a couple of group meetings in the early afternoon.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
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