Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
In the midst of doing all of this,I received a couple of phone calls.One from my dad and another from someone I worship with in church.
I really didn't have too much to do.I checked out my trunk and sorted out all the empty cans and bottles that I had that were loose and after putting them back in the garbage bag,I headed for a local supermarket to turn them in and it was a few extra dollars for me.After that was done,I headed for a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed for dinner.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate from time to time on a daily basis,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular with God,put in his hands,in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of letting God and Christ take the lead and have them keep me calm and serene on a proper spiritual level and also,to help me endure through the whole thing.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I tossed and turned repeatedly to try and soften my genitals,but that only made them throb more.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that made my genitals start to soften.After using the bathroom,which is why I got up and out of bed,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation by lusting and fantasizing with other men and I also manipulated my genitals to these sexual images of men that clouded my mind.These images were really intense and I also imagined myself doing all sorts of things with them.I stopped myself and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me my sins and I really prayed hard to God for forgiveness for these sins and after I was finished,I felt better truly believing that I was forgiven and I moved on with the rest of the day.I was also tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies,lusting and also,to look at pornography online.I kept up in prayer to God all day in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep giving me strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as they kept coming at me.I kept up and never ceased praying.I did feel better and much stronger after praying.I also still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.While I have been doing this,I am also again asking for everyone who continually follows my blog and reads my posts to continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you who visit to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I ask these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed out right away to take care of some personal business that I had to take care of.After that,I headed to a local kitchen for some lunch.After that,I headed for home.
On my way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home as I saw the sky and decided to head straight home as the sky looked as if a terrible rainstorm was coming.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone on this struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and as I started doing so,the erection started to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and to also manipulate my genitals while doing so.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day and I asked for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as they kept coming at me and after I finished praying,I felt stronger and totally believed that God and Christ both heard me.SSA is never an easy thing to struggle with and it gets even more difficult day after day.I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts.I am also asking that you please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are area.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and also,they both make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my Thursday morning spirituality group and that meeting went well as usual and after that was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to see if they had something that I needed in stock,but they still didn't.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It can be tiresome and draining at times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I attempted to get out of bed and that slowly softened the erection and I sat up for a while and when my genitals were fully soft,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted to indulge in lusting and fantasies with sexual images of men clouding my mind and I had to really fight the impulse to indulge in genital manipulation to these sexual images of men.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist these urges.I even turned to God and asked him in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these urges and also,to help me keep my mind clear of all these sexual images.It is a really tricky and difficult life that we who struggle with SSA lead and it can get pretty overwhelming.It can get so overwhelming that at times,it may try to emotionally drain and can also tire us out.But again,I kept praying to God for strength each and every time that these urges came at me and I felt better and also much stronger as the temptations were all reduced to nil.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through this emotionally intense time.I am also again asking that all of you to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.
I had a few things on my agenda.Firstly,my niece and I went through some old papers that had accumulated in the house in big piles to find another important paper,which wasn't found.After that,we bagged everything worthless and useless in garbage bags and she left.After that,I had a light lunch and proceeded to get on with the the main thing on my agenda today.
I had to go to my general doctor to get the results of my PSA and I waited almost two and half hours so the doctor can give me the results and according to him,everything checks out good,but I am still having groin pains and frequent bathroom going throughout the day.I left the office and headed for a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things needed.After that,I headed straight home.
Regarding what my general doctor said,I am going to get a second opinion from a urology associates office that I was a patient of years ago and see if everything is really okay.I need to see what is really causing these problems.I also need to see if there is a way to stop this.I am at the point where the pain has gone from mild to mildly excruciating.Again,I am getting a second opinion.
When I got home,I heated up a can of chili that I bought and that was dinner for tonight.After that,I relaxed and took it easy while watched a DVD.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This makes me feel a tad better knowing that God and Christ are there leading the way and making sure the symptoms of my psychiatric disability don't go from bed to worse or even more extreme.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and as I did this,the erection started to soften and when I walked to the doorway to my room,my genitals were fully softened and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitalia to lustful images of men clouding my mind and that led to fantasies and the genital manipulation.I immediately asked God to forgive me for sinning against him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.For much of the day,I wasn't tempted very much as I kept busy with the work that my niece and I did and also,for being in the doctor's office for much of the day.It was simply doing these things that kept my mind off of anything sexual with men and kept my mind clear.While I went through the rest of the day not feeling any sorts of temptations,tomorrow is another day.I have to keep in mind that the temptations will come when least expected.I am again asking that everyone who continually follows my blog and reads my posts to please keep up in prayer for me.I am also asking that you also leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and also,lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after getting dressed,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went out to run an errand that needed to be run.After I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better with them leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men that crept up into my mind and I masturbated the rest of the way when the point of orgasm came on.After that happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling short and I did feel better because I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins,but later on,in the wee early morning hours,I was tempted to do that again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.When that latter temptation happened,I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and the erection started to soften and after I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep.While I did escape the wee early morning hour episode despite the fall that happened last night,I still got tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men and to also manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day as these terrible temptations came around.The lustful sexual images of men just keep coming into my mind and the temptations follow them.I kept up in prayer all day and I did feel stronger each time I did.I am still getting tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular temptation happens,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continue to follow my blog and read my posts.I am also asking for all of my followers to please make an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and those encouraging words motivate me to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to also continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,the only thing that I have planned is a doctor's appointment in the late afternoon to get the results of my PSA test.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went out to pay a couple of bills that needed to be paid.After that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up something that I needed for myself.After that,I went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the withdrawn money and after putting it in a safe place at home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions very by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It does get complicated and I at times wished that I didn't have to go through any of this.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.As I headed for the bathroom,the erection started softening and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in other ways,such as lusting,fantasies and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping with these lustful images that also motivates fantasizing with the images.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges as they came at me from all sides.I am always fighting these unnatural sexual desires that I have and at times,the temptations to act out in them gets stronger with each resistance.The SSA struggle is a difficult one indeed and it gets tougher each and every day.It never lets up and it can feel like that you are being emotionally drained by each day as you continually struggle to stay strong with all of these terrible temptations coming at you from all sides.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes at me,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I still get tempted to lust and fantasize as well as play with myself temptations to lust and fantasize come around and those are the temptations that I am constantly fighting against.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog to please continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,please don't be shy by expressing any encouraging words in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section alongside keeping up in prayer for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans,But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to church for the morning's study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the rest of the members,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.After a light lunch,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and popped a movie in and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful in itself as both God and his son Christ Jesus are leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate in the wee early morning hours came at me when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got up out of bed to goo to there and while I did that,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting after and fantasizing with other men.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these sexual images of men.I had to keep up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I prayed hard for that strength and when I was finished,I felt stronger and much better as the temptations were reduced to nil.While I have been doing that,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and also,they both make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ