Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after getting dressed,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went out to run an errand that needed to be run.After I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better with them leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men that crept up into my mind and I masturbated the rest of the way when the point of orgasm came on.After that happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling short and I did feel better because I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins,but later on,in the wee early morning hours,I was tempted to do that again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.When that latter temptation happened,I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and the erection started to soften and after I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep.While I did escape the wee early morning hour episode despite the fall that happened last night,I still got tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men and to also manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day as these terrible temptations came around.The lustful sexual images of men just keep coming into my mind and the temptations follow them.I kept up in prayer all day and I did feel stronger each time I did.I am still getting tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular temptation happens,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continue to follow my blog and read my posts.I am also asking for all of my followers to please make an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and those encouraging words motivate me to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to also continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,the only thing that I have planned is a doctor's appointment in the late afternoon to get the results of my PSA test.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ