Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to visit with a locally living friend to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with,I headed over to a picnic that my church was having.I was looking forward to this occasion with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.This was to be my first church picnic since being reinstated as a member of my church last year.
The picnic was wonderful and I had some really great fellowship with everyone there.After being there for much of the day,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched some TV.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or a other times,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle,as a burden,to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever I feel that the struggle is seemingly getting way too difficult for me to handle.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negatives and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.For most of the day,since I was at the church picnic,I really didn't have problems with temptation.I simply kept busy with socializing and fellowship with my fellow church congregants and the day was wonderful.It took my mind off of my struggles and it was great.Still,I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep on praying for me and also,don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
After having a light lunch,I got a phone call and it was a spur of the moment job interview call to meet with the manager at a local restaurant in the early afternoon.I went to the interview after dressing up in dress clothes and they told me that would be in touch this coming Wednesday. After the interview,I left the restaurant I stopped at a gas station to get some gas in my gas tank.I headed straight home after that to change clothes.After that,I headed out to a friend's place in another area of the county where I live to check up on him.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed for a local Dollar Tree to pick up something else.After that,I picked up my laundry at my niece's house.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put what I had bought away and I relaxed for a while.I also did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and throw it on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative effects of this disorder and they both help in sustaining and also,they both help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed and my genitals started to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,though it took a while,I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,though not as much as I had been the last few days.I simply kept my mind on other things and simply doing what I had planned for today.Nothing sexual glanced through my mind.I simply kept my mind on other things and that helped get my mind off of anything sexual.Though I went through the day without any problems in regards to my SSA struggles,I am again asking that all of you please keep praying for me as I am going through this rough emotional time.I need prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read my posts.I also need words of encouragement by all of you alongside your prayers.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed quickly and I headed over to the place where the spirituality group was being held,only to realize that it was canceled for today.I simply joined in a meeting that they were having there and it was wonderful.After the meeting,we had ourselves a lunch and after that,I left and decided to have lunch at a local kitchen also as I was still a little hungry.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things needed.After that,I stopped at a local McDonald's for a vanilla cone and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to relax and do my personal PC work.I also listened to some music while doing that.I also decided to relax for a bit and take it easy.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help get me through the negative effects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that made my genitals start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I laid back down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men and also,to "near masturbate" when these sexual images started to cloud my mind.I took it to my Heavenly Father and I prayed for strength to fight and resist these urges.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong as I didn't want to fall short.I prayed and prayed real hard.After I was finished,I felt much stronger and also,I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me the strength that I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am really struggling right now and I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your encouraging words and prayers do help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle that gets difficult by the day.I also need my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strengthened each and every day.I also need my motivation strengthened to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA as both your prayers and encouraging help strengthen also.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,before doing anything,I got a call from the job placement counselor.He asked me if I could be ready by a certain time so we could go to a local nursing home for an interview and I said sure.After hanging up,I jumped into the shower to clean up.After the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I checked on my e-mail for only a few minutes and after that,I got dressed up and eagerly awaited for the job placement counselor to pick me up to take me to the nursing home.
When we got to the nursing home,I learned that it really wasn't an interview in the true sense.It was to fill out an employment application and hand it over to the person who conducts the interviews and they informed me that they should be contacting me in a few days.After that,the job placement counselor advised me to continue putting in more applications online in the meantime as he was dropping me off at home.I told him that I would and he dropped me off.
When I got back into the house,I got out of the dress clothes and into a pair of lounge pants.I did my personal PC work and I had a light lunch.I also got dressed in my normal casual clothes to proceed with the rest of the day.
I dropped off some newspapers at a few friend's houses and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that were in the back seat of my car.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put in a few more applications online and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours twice when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals.On both occasions,I turned the opposite way that I was laying down in bed and the erections softened after I did that.I went right back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I was also tempted to "near masturbate" to these things as well.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all through the day as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I prayed to my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I asked for strength to fight and resist these urges.I felt stronger and much more in control after praying.I also knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me everything that I asked for and I felt it all over my heart and mind.Though I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this very stressful and difficult emotional time.I also ask that you please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen my determination to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA.They also motivate to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with daily.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning to eagerly await a phone call that I was waiting for from the job placement counselor at the job placement agency.When I did get the phone call,it wasn't what I was hoping for.I was hoping that he had set up an interview at a nursing home in the community that I lived in,but told me that he is postponing this because a tragedy happened in his family that he had to attend to.After hanging up,I was disappointed.I was hoping that the ball would start to roll for me,but this unexpected news happened.I know and understand that this is only human nature and that it can't be helped when an unexpected tragedy happens.It was still pretty disappointing.He said that he would set it up by next week and I simply said okay.I am hoping that the openings for cleaners at that local nursing home are still open by next week.After that,I hit the showers and I when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple if things planned for today.I had to drop something off at a friends place of business.Before that,I dropped my laundry off at my niece's house.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and did some cleaning up around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it;s accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle as a burden to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I ask him for strength to help me endure and both he and his son Christ Jesus both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get up out of bed.This actually made the erection start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.I was tempted to lust and fantasize with other men as sexual images of men kept clouding my mind throughout the day.I didn't want to fall short as I did last week.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong.I also asked him for the strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges that were coming at me from all sides.These urges can be very overwhelming and I never know how strong that they can be most of the time.After praying,I felt better and much stronger.I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me the strength that I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Prayers and emotional encouragement are both strong weapons in the SSA struggle and they both help out in immeasurable ways.Their power is both strong and immeasurable.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.As I have said before and I will say again,both your prayers and your positive emotional verbal encouragement help keep me going in this fight and they make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ ffor everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work,had lunch,and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things planned.Before leaving the house,I had a talk with the job placement counselor from the job placement agency and he said that he was going to set up an opportunity with a local nursing home for a possible interview and hopefully a job.He said that he would be in tough with me tomorrow morning.After the phone call,I left the house and proceeded what I needed to get done accomplished.
I first went to get my resume copied and after that,I headed for a local Family Video store to bring back a couple of problem DVD's that I had bought a little over a week ago.There were not working right as I played them and I wanted to be what could be done.After working it out with them,I headed over to a nearby hair place to get my hair cut.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local store to pick up a box of allergy pills.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle as a burden on my Heavenly Father and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in both sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a normal level plain.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I simply sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed.This made the erection start to soften and after a while of walking around a bit,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men and also,to "near masturbate" to these images that were clouding my mind.I prayed to my Heavenly Father as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides and I asked him for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and after I was finished,I both truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.I also felt stronger every time I finished praying.Though I am doing that,I am again asking that all of you followers of my blog to please continue praying for as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.They,your prayers and positive verbal encouragement,both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strong.They also motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continuous prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

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