Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work,had lunch,and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things planned.Before leaving the house,I had a talk with the job placement counselor from the job placement agency and he said that he was going to set up an opportunity with a local nursing home for a possible interview and hopefully a job.He said that he would be in tough with me tomorrow morning.After the phone call,I left the house and proceeded what I needed to get done accomplished.
I first went to get my resume copied and after that,I headed for a local Family Video store to bring back a couple of problem DVD's that I had bought a little over a week ago.There were not working right as I played them and I wanted to be what could be done.After working it out with them,I headed over to a nearby hair place to get my hair cut.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local store to pick up a box of allergy pills.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle as a burden on my Heavenly Father and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in both sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a normal level plain.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I simply sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed.This made the erection start to soften and after a while of walking around a bit,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men and also,to "near masturbate" to these images that were clouding my mind.I prayed to my Heavenly Father as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides and I asked him for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and after I was finished,I both truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.I also felt stronger every time I finished praying.Though I am doing that,I am again asking that all of you followers of my blog to please continue praying for as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.They,your prayers and positive verbal encouragement,both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strong.They also motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continuous prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ