Tonight,I am feeling pretty good but exhausted.I had a pretty busy day today.
Since today was a weekend day,I decided to do quite a lot.I went to a Best Buy store and I managed to get a store credit card so I could purchase a smart antenna for myself so I can have everything ready for the conversion to DTV.I have had the converter box for quite some time and I tried it out with an amplified antenna.There was just one problem.I could not get any signals from at least one TV station.I managed to get a lot of signals from 10 stations but couldn't get only one local channel.This really bummed me out.I have spent quite a bit of money for this conversion and I am still getting the short end of the stick.On Wednesday,after I do the laundry pick-up,I am going to have to return the amplified antenna because it just isn't the right one.I did specially order the special antenna that I need for the conversion and I am hoping that I don't need any more after this.The conversion box manufacturer assured me that I should be all set once I get it.I am hoping I don't need anything else.
After shopping at Best Buy,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things that my mom needed.I also managed to buy a couple of things for myself and I also put a few dollars in my gas tank.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I bathed to get cleaned up for tonight and I ate a light dinner.After eating,I caught up on some e-mails and I registered a few more bills that I got in change from the supermarket at the Where's George site.Overall,a pretty busy day.
Tonight is my night to entertain the crowd.I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.So far,since my return,it has been going well and I am glad that it has.I still hope for things to go smoothly because you never know what might happen.But I have a feeling that everything will work out.
Today,I had no problems regarding my SSA struggles.I am happy for that.I am hoping that I will have no problems tomorrow.
As for the rest of the weekend,I have made no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hops for the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I did everything that my job entailed and I dropped everything off at the rehab center.After that,I headed straight home.
I only headed for home because my niece dropped off her share of the auto insurance money and I went home to pick it up so I could pay the insurance for the month.It is now paid for and I can take it easy for the rest of the month.
After paying the insurance,I went to my regular bank to cash my paycheck and I also bought a gallon of milk at the nearby supermarket.I headed back home after that and that is where I stayed for the rest of the day.
After I got home,I had a light dinner and I registered some bills at the Where's George site.It was a whole bunch that I had to register.I now have to stamp the bills before I can spend them.I also did some last minute personal PC work.
I am now relaxing and I am anticipating the start of the weekend.I am looking forward to entertaining the crowd tomorrow night.I am also hoping to get out and do some more personal shopping for myself,which will depend on how the weather is like tomorrow.If it is decent,I will go out and do the shopping.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation last night while I was in bed.I masturbated to images of naked men with erections.I did ask the creator to forgive me this morning because I had fallen asleep after I had done that.I do feel better and I am hoping that I can beat this habit of masturbating and this SSA that I have been struggling with most of my life.Please pray for me.Thanks.
As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't decided what I am going to do.But whatever I decide to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the start of the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shuft went smoothly.I simply did the work that I had to do in the time that I had and after I did my job,I dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center.
On the way home,I had to stop at a couple of stores to pick up some things that my mom needed.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put my PJ's back on and took a nap for about 2 hours.I was feeling sleepy.It was a pretty good sleep because I woke up refreshed and not so sleepy after I woke up.I then took it easy while waiting for dinner to get done.
After eating,I decided to finish my personal PC work.I also managed to take care of some personal business while I was online.It also didn't take me too long to get everything done that needed to get accomplished.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I haven't had much problems today.I did have a brief,but minor,episode.But I didn't give in and the nap that I took realy helped.I am glad that this didn't get worse where I would've acted out and felt regret after that.But I know that it can happen again.This is a symptom of the loneliness that I have because I really don't have too many people to talk to around where I am living.But I am hoping that I can get this problem resolved soon.I am still feeling hopeful and optimistic.
Today,weatherwise,it was windy and cold.But the wind chills were above freezing and we are getting another taste of wintry weather that I am hoping will be over soon.I know that it's winter and we do have to let nature run it's course.But it doesn't hurt to hope.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and I simply carried the bags to my 4x4.After dropping them off and sorting the laundry out,I had lunch and went about my day.
The first thing that I had to do was to pick up a prescription for my mom at the local drug store.After that,I picked up a couple more things that were needed for the home at other stores.I also managed to fit in a visit to the local Salvation Army thrift shop and bought a few nice things.I headed for the hospital afterwards to see the medication manager.I wanted to make sure that I wasn't late.
Though I had to wait for over 45 minutes for the med manager at the hospital,the session went great.I simply told her what was going on with me and how my life was.After she made me another apointment in a couple weeks for a health screening,I left for home.
When I got there,I relaxed a bit and took it easy while waiting for dinner to get done.After I ate,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.
I am now relaxing and I am awaiting the next day.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I masturbated again earlier today.I was being tormented by images of naked me with erect penises and I also gave into temptation by visiting a Gay porn site just about a minute ago.Earlier,I asked the creator to forgive me and I felt better but I still need to find some support from my fellow men.If there is anyone out there who can give me any encouraging words or advice,please do so.I would greatly appreciate that.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work day went pretty well.I did have at least one minor mess to clean up when I was doing the pick-up.But I managed to get it all done and I dropped everything off at the rehab center before heading for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby drug store in the area of my work and I bought a few things that my mom wanted me to buy.I also went to a nearby Dollar Tree store and bought a few more things.I also went to see a friend of mine who had injured himself to see how he was doing.He said that he was hanging in there and that he is hoping to be feeling better soon.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home, I changed into a sweatsuit and I relaxed for a bit.At least,I tried to.
When I tried to relax,my SSA struggles started to creep back in.I wound up masturbating to images of naked men.This made me feel miserable.I want to beat this thing.I don't want to be attracted to men forever.I know that having sexual relationships with men is not going to give me the fulfillment that I need.If anyone has any ideas,I would like to know.Thanks.
After asking for forgiveness from the creator,I had dinner and I finished my personal PC work.It is now done.
I need to take my mind off sexual relationships with men.If anyone has any ideas,please share.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.I also have an appointment with the medication manager at the local hospital and I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I had a lot of ruuning around to do.I paid the water bill and I also mailed out my payment to the finance company that has a line of credit that I opened some time ago.After that,I went to my mechanic's garage to drop off a couple of CD's that I made for him.I also went to a local supermarket to buy a couple of things that my mom needed.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I hooked up the new DTV converter box that I bought yesterday at a local Target.It was just a test.Though I got a few channels in,I didn't get most of them.I did get one channel but the signal was lost and declared invalid.I unhooked the box and it is now back on regular TV.I did call the company that made the box and they simply told me that I need to buy a smart TV antenna for better reception.I did call Best Buy and they told me that there were none in stock and that they didn't know when they were going to get more into the store.I talked it over with my mom and we have to set aside some money when we can until we have enough money to buy one.We do have a long wait because the DTV conversion has now been pushed ahead to June 12th.So,we can just relax and take it easy for now.
After eating,I did some last minute personal PC work and I also watched an online video on YouTube.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation.I masturbated to images of nude men with erections.I was also talking to myself imagining that there were some guys in the room and that I was agreeing to perform sexual favors for them.I did ask the creator to forgive me for that sin and I felt better.I am still feeling hopeful and I am counting on myself beating this.But I still need help in dealing with the feelings and I also need help in how to effectively cope with them.If anyone has any answers,I would appreciate them.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I had to run only one errand.It was to pick up a few things for my mom at a local supermarket.I also went to a nearby Dollar Tree store to buy a few more things.Before that,I went to a nearby Target to buy another DTV converter box for another television that I happen to own.After doing all of these things,I headed for home.
After I got home,I ate dinner and I also registered a few more bills at the Where's George site.I also did some last minute personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was yet another awesome night.There was also a lot more people there and that motivated me to sing very enthusiastically.Overall,it was a wonderful night and I had a blast.I am looking forward to next Saturday night.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode.I had images of nude men with erections swirling around in my head.I even tried to sit down in a chair in hopes that I could forget them.But I couldn't.I even manipulated my sexuality and I almost was at the point of orgasm when I stopped.While I didn't go all the way and masturbate like yesterday,I came pretty close to it.I also felt pretty miserable.I do want to beat this as I no longer want to feel sexually pulled to other men.The creator created man and woman and that is the natural law and order of things.I want to abide by this strict rule as the creator intended for us because that is the law.But I am having a terrible as well as a difficult time trying to resist the temptation to sin and act out on these unnatural and even selfish desires.I have to keep reminding myself that I am not a Gay man and that I am a Heterosexual man with a Homosexual problem.I need help.I keep calling out for help but I am not getting any answers to my calls.If anyone out there in the world reads this and wants to help me,I would really like that.Give me some answers please.Aside from what I wrote above,I have to keep remembering that the Homosexual condition is emotional and not sexual.I have emotional needs that I need to get met and I am not getting anywhere in meeting them in a healthy way.Again,I need help.If anyone reads this,please HELP ME!!!!!!Thanks.
For the rest of the night,I am thinking of going out and having a drink with guys and I am hoping that I can get some good conversations with them.When I get home,I might watch a movie.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have lots to do tomorrow and I am hoping to get everything that I need to get done accomplished.I hope that everything during the day goes well.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ