Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I had to run only one errand.It was to pick up a few things for my mom at a local supermarket.I also went to a nearby Dollar Tree store to buy a few more things.Before that,I went to a nearby Target to buy another DTV converter box for another television that I happen to own.After doing all of these things,I headed for home.
After I got home,I ate dinner and I also registered a few more bills at the Where's George site.I also did some last minute personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was yet another awesome night.There was also a lot more people there and that motivated me to sing very enthusiastically.Overall,it was a wonderful night and I had a blast.I am looking forward to next Saturday night.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode.I had images of nude men with erections swirling around in my head.I even tried to sit down in a chair in hopes that I could forget them.But I couldn't.I even manipulated my sexuality and I almost was at the point of orgasm when I stopped.While I didn't go all the way and masturbate like yesterday,I came pretty close to it.I also felt pretty miserable.I do want to beat this as I no longer want to feel sexually pulled to other men.The creator created man and woman and that is the natural law and order of things.I want to abide by this strict rule as the creator intended for us because that is the law.But I am having a terrible as well as a difficult time trying to resist the temptation to sin and act out on these unnatural and even selfish desires.I have to keep reminding myself that I am not a Gay man and that I am a Heterosexual man with a Homosexual problem.I need help.I keep calling out for help but I am not getting any answers to my calls.If anyone out there in the world reads this and wants to help me,I would really like that.Give me some answers please.Aside from what I wrote above,I have to keep remembering that the Homosexual condition is emotional and not sexual.I have emotional needs that I need to get met and I am not getting anywhere in meeting them in a healthy way.Again,I need help.If anyone reads this,please HELP ME!!!!!!Thanks.
For the rest of the night,I am thinking of going out and having a drink with guys and I am hoping that I can get some good conversations with them.When I get home,I might watch a movie.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have lots to do tomorrow and I am hoping to get everything that I need to get done accomplished.I hope that everything during the day goes well.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ