Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed quickly and I headed over to my monthly Men's Network meeting,which was the first that I had attended since December.
The meeting went well and I did get quite a bit out of it.After the meeting was over,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to a nearby post office to mail out an important payment.After that was done,I did a little bit of shopping at a nearby Salvation Army thrift store and a nearby Dollar Tree store.After doing all of that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Sears store to make yet another important payment.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and had a light lunch and after lunch.I did my personal PC work.I relaxed and enjoyed a little TV after that was done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.At times,this constant emotional roller coaster ride can seem unbearable as it can be pretty monotonous.At times,I am up and feeling good,while at other times,down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone here when it comes to this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating to sexual images of men.I started to manipulate my genitals while these images clouded my mind and when I was about to ejaculate,I masturbated the rest of the way until I ejaculated.After washing my hands,I immediately asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I felt really terrible for sinning against God in this way and I felt better after praying for the forgiveness as I truly believe that I am forgiven for my sins.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I prayed hard for strength to fight and resist all of the temptations that came at me.I kept it up as I didn't want to sin again like I did early this morning.I kept up asking God for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I didn't cease praying.I always felt better after praying and the feeling that I got was an excellent feeling.I am also again asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to keep up praying for me.I also ask that all of you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as well.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors,but the visitors rarely leave any encouraging words for me in the comments section.I would appreciate a kind word or two in the comments section that is also very encouraging.It is that both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,don't be shy by leaving an encouraging word or two for me as well.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, March 02, 2013
Friday, March 01, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I got up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after I was done doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light lunch and after that,I registered all of the bills that I had at the Where's George site?After that was done,I headed back out.
I first went to pay off a debt that I owed someone and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or at times,by the minute/moment.It can get pretty monotonous at times.Aside from the ups and downs of BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle,or any other struggle that I have and that is wonderful.God does help in many ways and it is great that he doesn't let me suffer alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last long.I tossed and turned,but it only got harder.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got up and went to the bathroom.As I was on the way to the bathroom,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,sexual images of men crept up into my mind as I gave into this particular temptation.When I got out of bed,I sat down and immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning.I was also tempted throughout the day as the terrible temptations kept trying to overwhelm me.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations as I didn't want to sin against God in any way,shape or form.I kept up praying and praying all day and I did feel better after doing so.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog.Please keep up in prayer for me and please don't be afraid to leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets lots of visitors and curiosity seekers,but they usually don't leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with it.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have a Men's Network meeting tomorrow morning and I have church on Sunday,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't gotten much planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I got up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after I was done doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light lunch and after that,I registered all of the bills that I had at the Where's George site?After that was done,I headed back out.
I first went to pay off a debt that I owed someone and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or at times,by the minute/moment.It can get pretty monotonous at times.Aside from the ups and downs of BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle,or any other struggle that I have and that is wonderful.God does help in many ways and it is great that he doesn't let me suffer alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last long.I tossed and turned,but it only got harder.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got up and went to the bathroom.As I was on the way to the bathroom,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,sexual images of men crept up into my mind as I gave into this particular temptation.When I got out of bed,I sat down and immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning.I was also tempted throughout the day as the terrible temptations kept trying to overwhelm me.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations as I didn't want to sin against God in any way,shape or form.I kept up praying and praying all day and I did feel better after doing so.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog.Please keep up in prayer for me and please don't be afraid to leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets lots of visitors and curiosity seekers,but they usually don't leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with it.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have a Men's Network meeting tomorrow morning and I have church on Sunday,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't gotten much planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda.
The first thing that I did was to attend my usual Thursday spirituality group,which went as well as expected.After that was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed over to my case worker's office to talk with her about some things and after that was over,I headed over to a friend's place to see how they were doing and after spending some time with him,I headed over to a local garage to get the oil changed,which was long overdue.After that,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed for home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and finished my personal PC work.After that,I took it easy for a short spell.
I only made one more trip out before calling it a day.I went over to a local Subway to pick up a submarine sandwich.I headed straight home and that was my dinner for tonight.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as this emotional roller coaster ride is pretty unpredictable.I can be up and feeling good one day/minute/moment and down the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my energy when this happened as it was very overwhelming.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection soften and I didn't lay back down until the erection was fully soft and the temptation to indulge in masturbation had faded.I went back to sleep and slept until it was time for me to really get up.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in masturbation and also,to indulge in lustful fantasies to sexual images of men alongside the temptation to masturbate.I prayed all day to God in the name of of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resit all of the temptations that came at me and after each prayer,I felt better as I knew that God and Christ both heard me.I kept it up all day without ceasing and felt good after doing so.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follow my blog and that they keep it up for me.I could really use prayers right now as temptation is really trying to get the better of me.Please continue praying for me and also,don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets plenty of visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave a comment of two.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
I have only one thing planned for tomorrow.I have to drop something off at my therapist's office for her and the nurse practitioner to sign so I can have an orientation meeting to get in with another organization to help me find work.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda.
The first thing that I did was to attend my usual Thursday spirituality group,which went as well as expected.After that was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed over to my case worker's office to talk with her about some things and after that was over,I headed over to a friend's place to see how they were doing and after spending some time with him,I headed over to a local garage to get the oil changed,which was long overdue.After that,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed for home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and finished my personal PC work.After that,I took it easy for a short spell.
I only made one more trip out before calling it a day.I went over to a local Subway to pick up a submarine sandwich.I headed straight home and that was my dinner for tonight.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as this emotional roller coaster ride is pretty unpredictable.I can be up and feeling good one day/minute/moment and down the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my energy when this happened as it was very overwhelming.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection soften and I didn't lay back down until the erection was fully soft and the temptation to indulge in masturbation had faded.I went back to sleep and slept until it was time for me to really get up.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in masturbation and also,to indulge in lustful fantasies to sexual images of men alongside the temptation to masturbate.I prayed all day to God in the name of of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resit all of the temptations that came at me and after each prayer,I felt better as I knew that God and Christ both heard me.I kept it up all day without ceasing and felt good after doing so.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follow my blog and that they keep it up for me.I could really use prayers right now as temptation is really trying to get the better of me.Please continue praying for me and also,don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets plenty of visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave a comment of two.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
I have only one thing planned for tomorrow.I have to drop something off at my therapist's office for her and the nurse practitioner to sign so I can have an orientation meeting to get in with another organization to help me find work.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I got out of bed in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I had a light lunch when I was done with that.After lunch,I finished my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
After bring the recycling bin from the curb,I decided to head to a local Dollar tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed by listening to an online sermon and after that was finished,I decided to get ready for the church dinner tonight.When the time came for me to go,I headed there.
The dinner was as wonderful as last week's initial dinner.We also watched another portion of the educational video regarding the impact that the Jewish Passover has had on both the world and most importantly,the Christian Church.After the dinner was over and also,after talking with the pastor over something,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my pajamas and relaxed.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It can be very tiresome and monotonous going through this emotional roller coaster ride daily,or by the minute/moment at times within the same day.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell this morning while still in bed trying to wake up and get up by manipulating my genitals to some fantasies and lusting after other men and I wound up ejaculating as a result of indulging in this unclean practice.I got up to wash my hands and after I was done doing that,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and I also begged for God to have mercy on me as lately,my mind is being clouded by sexual images of other men.No,it isn't men that I know personally,but images of men that I have seen nude in magazines and/or online.While I haven't looked at any pics of nude men,or anything pornographic in the "Gay" sense in a long time,these images are simply ones that I have looked at in the past and at times,they come back to cloud my mind.I also know that Satan and his minions are responsible for this as well.I really need to start working really hard at asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist acting out to these images.It seems that they don't want to leave me alone.I now know that this is when I really need God's help in this.I really need to buckle down and tell these images,in a psychological way,to go away and also,I really need to get up out of bed when I sense some awakened time in the early morning hours,because that is when these things start to strike,in the wee early morning hours.I also need to lean some self control.Still,throughout the day,I did ask God in his son Christ Jesus' name to help keep me strong in this fight and to get me through every temptation that came at me throughout the day.I did this to show God and his son Christ Jesus that I really mean it that I want to seriously heal from these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I also want to show God and Christ that I am also really sorry when I fall short.I also again ask that all of you continue in prayer for me and also,don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section,as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and also,make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors and onlookers,but they rarely leave an encouraging comment in the comments section,which I would really appreciate.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and also,lunch at a local kitchen after that.I also have an appointment to meet with my case worker after lunch.As for the rest of the day,I just might stay home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I got out of bed in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I had a light lunch when I was done with that.After lunch,I finished my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
After bring the recycling bin from the curb,I decided to head to a local Dollar tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed by listening to an online sermon and after that was finished,I decided to get ready for the church dinner tonight.When the time came for me to go,I headed there.
The dinner was as wonderful as last week's initial dinner.We also watched another portion of the educational video regarding the impact that the Jewish Passover has had on both the world and most importantly,the Christian Church.After the dinner was over and also,after talking with the pastor over something,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my pajamas and relaxed.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It can be very tiresome and monotonous going through this emotional roller coaster ride daily,or by the minute/moment at times within the same day.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell this morning while still in bed trying to wake up and get up by manipulating my genitals to some fantasies and lusting after other men and I wound up ejaculating as a result of indulging in this unclean practice.I got up to wash my hands and after I was done doing that,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and I also begged for God to have mercy on me as lately,my mind is being clouded by sexual images of other men.No,it isn't men that I know personally,but images of men that I have seen nude in magazines and/or online.While I haven't looked at any pics of nude men,or anything pornographic in the "Gay" sense in a long time,these images are simply ones that I have looked at in the past and at times,they come back to cloud my mind.I also know that Satan and his minions are responsible for this as well.I really need to start working really hard at asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist acting out to these images.It seems that they don't want to leave me alone.I now know that this is when I really need God's help in this.I really need to buckle down and tell these images,in a psychological way,to go away and also,I really need to get up out of bed when I sense some awakened time in the early morning hours,because that is when these things start to strike,in the wee early morning hours.I also need to lean some self control.Still,throughout the day,I did ask God in his son Christ Jesus' name to help keep me strong in this fight and to get me through every temptation that came at me throughout the day.I did this to show God and his son Christ Jesus that I really mean it that I want to seriously heal from these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I also want to show God and Christ that I am also really sorry when I fall short.I also again ask that all of you continue in prayer for me and also,don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section,as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and also,make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors and onlookers,but they rarely leave an encouraging comment in the comments section,which I would really appreciate.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and also,lunch at a local kitchen after that.I also have an appointment to meet with my case worker after lunch.As for the rest of the day,I just might stay home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went over to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things and after paying for those,I decided to drop off a few free newspapers for a few people that I know in the area and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to relax and watch a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or,one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his Christ Jesus whenever this struggle seems to be dragging me down and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better knowing that they are there.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though like yesterday morning,it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened and it did take a while for it to do so.When it was finally soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals while still in bed trying to wake up and be fully awake,and yes,there were lustful and sexual images of men creeping into my mind while doing so.I stopped this and after getting out of bed,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by doing this unclean thing.Though I know that this doesn't excuse nor justify this sinning,I was still tired and still in bed trying to fully wake up and all of those nasty lustful and sexual images of men crept up into my mind and it subsequently led me to start manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping,but I did stop myself and as stated,I asked God in the name of Jesus Christ to forgive me for that particular fall.Throughout the day,I was tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have from all sides.I had to really keep up in prayer to God in the name of Jesus Christ and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me.I prayed real hard and each time I finished praying,I felt better as I knew that God and Christ both heard me and I would move on with the rest of my day.At times,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of hoping to hook up with one and indulge in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation comes around.I also pray that I don't fall into temptation in other various ways,such as looking at porn and/or drifting off into fantasies and lusting.Without God,I wouldn't get anywhere and I would be still stuck in the SSA trap and each night before going to bed,I continually say thanks to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for setting me free from the trap of SSA.Though I am keeping up in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus,I am also again asking all of you who continually visit my blog and read the posts that I write here to keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog does get a lot of visitors,but they usually don't leave any encouraging words for me in the comments section.Why don't they ever leave anything encouraging for me in the comments section?They visit,but don't leave anything in the comments section that could encourage me to continue in this fight against this terrible SSA.Again,please don't hesitate to leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue praying for me as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,the only thing that I have planned is an evening dinner over at my church,which will be happening every Wednesday night until March 20th.As for the most of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went over to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things and after paying for those,I decided to drop off a few free newspapers for a few people that I know in the area and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to relax and watch a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or,one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his Christ Jesus whenever this struggle seems to be dragging me down and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better knowing that they are there.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though like yesterday morning,it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened and it did take a while for it to do so.When it was finally soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals while still in bed trying to wake up and be fully awake,and yes,there were lustful and sexual images of men creeping into my mind while doing so.I stopped this and after getting out of bed,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by doing this unclean thing.Though I know that this doesn't excuse nor justify this sinning,I was still tired and still in bed trying to fully wake up and all of those nasty lustful and sexual images of men crept up into my mind and it subsequently led me to start manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping,but I did stop myself and as stated,I asked God in the name of Jesus Christ to forgive me for that particular fall.Throughout the day,I was tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have from all sides.I had to really keep up in prayer to God in the name of Jesus Christ and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me.I prayed real hard and each time I finished praying,I felt better as I knew that God and Christ both heard me and I would move on with the rest of my day.At times,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of hoping to hook up with one and indulge in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation comes around.I also pray that I don't fall into temptation in other various ways,such as looking at porn and/or drifting off into fantasies and lusting.Without God,I wouldn't get anywhere and I would be still stuck in the SSA trap and each night before going to bed,I continually say thanks to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for setting me free from the trap of SSA.Though I am keeping up in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus,I am also again asking all of you who continually visit my blog and read the posts that I write here to keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog does get a lot of visitors,but they usually don't leave any encouraging words for me in the comments section.Why don't they ever leave anything encouraging for me in the comments section?They visit,but don't leave anything in the comments section that could encourage me to continue in this fight against this terrible SSA.Again,please don't hesitate to leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue praying for me as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,the only thing that I have planned is an evening dinner over at my church,which will be happening every Wednesday night until March 20th.As for the most of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, February 25, 2013
Today,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as i had only a couple things on my agenda for today.
I first stopped at a local gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed over to the public library to print something important out of my e-mail.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and simply watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minuet/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to fear nor worry about and that is good and relying more on God and Christ makes me feel a tad better as they help beyond what any human therapy can do.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and as I started sitting up,the erection started to soften and I laid back down and back to sleep when my genitals were soft enough for me to do so.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,and yes,there was lusting and fantasies involved.The root cause of this was because I had just gotten up out of bed and I was still feeling tired and drowsy as a result of a side effect from the psychiatric medication that I take as directed and when I am tired or drowsy,sexual images of men can creep up into my mind and I get the urge to play with my genitals as a way of fantasizing with those images and near/full erections happen and orgasm follows right behind that.I immediately stopped this and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling short and I did feel better after doing so.Apparently,Satan and his minions are trying real hard to get me to reconsider returning to that sinful sexual lifestyle know as the so called "Gay" lifestyle and I willfully refuse to give the devil what he wants.Satan is using everything in his own power to get me to go against God's perfect law,which is the Holy Bible,and sin for the heck of it.Again,I willfully refuse to do that.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist these temptations as each and every time you resist any temptation,they keep coming back stronger than the last time.The more resistance one puts up,the more stronger the temptations come back.It is always a difficult struggle to do what is right in the eyes of God,but it can be done with his help if it is asked by the individual who struggles with anything that is sinful and is trying their best to try and please God,though there will be failures along the way.While I am keeping up in prayer,I am also again asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I really need prayers and encouraging words and I ask that you please pray and leave something encouraging for me in the comments section.I simply refuse to let the unnatural desires that I have that are connected to SSA define nor dictate to me how I will be as a person.I refuse to accept no other identity,other than the true identity that I am,which is male/man and that I am human,which is all that I accept about myself.I refuse to accept the identity of Homosexual/Gay as there is no such thing as a Homosexual/Gay person,just the Homosexual condition.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ Jesus for being there for me in this fight and for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my case worker.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.\
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as i had only a couple things on my agenda for today.
I first stopped at a local gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed over to the public library to print something important out of my e-mail.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and simply watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minuet/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to fear nor worry about and that is good and relying more on God and Christ makes me feel a tad better as they help beyond what any human therapy can do.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and as I started sitting up,the erection started to soften and I laid back down and back to sleep when my genitals were soft enough for me to do so.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,and yes,there was lusting and fantasies involved.The root cause of this was because I had just gotten up out of bed and I was still feeling tired and drowsy as a result of a side effect from the psychiatric medication that I take as directed and when I am tired or drowsy,sexual images of men can creep up into my mind and I get the urge to play with my genitals as a way of fantasizing with those images and near/full erections happen and orgasm follows right behind that.I immediately stopped this and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling short and I did feel better after doing so.Apparently,Satan and his minions are trying real hard to get me to reconsider returning to that sinful sexual lifestyle know as the so called "Gay" lifestyle and I willfully refuse to give the devil what he wants.Satan is using everything in his own power to get me to go against God's perfect law,which is the Holy Bible,and sin for the heck of it.Again,I willfully refuse to do that.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist these temptations as each and every time you resist any temptation,they keep coming back stronger than the last time.The more resistance one puts up,the more stronger the temptations come back.It is always a difficult struggle to do what is right in the eyes of God,but it can be done with his help if it is asked by the individual who struggles with anything that is sinful and is trying their best to try and please God,though there will be failures along the way.While I am keeping up in prayer,I am also again asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I really need prayers and encouraging words and I ask that you please pray and leave something encouraging for me in the comments section.I simply refuse to let the unnatural desires that I have that are connected to SSA define nor dictate to me how I will be as a person.I refuse to accept no other identity,other than the true identity that I am,which is male/man and that I am human,which is all that I accept about myself.I refuse to accept the identity of Homosexual/Gay as there is no such thing as a Homosexual/Gay person,just the Homosexual condition.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ Jesus for being there for me in this fight and for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my case worker.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.\
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple more things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight and stayed home for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.After hanging up my dress clothes,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and listened to a little bit of music.I also managed to watch a couple of DVD's as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes alongside it.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is always an up and down thing for me and that can be tiresome as well as monotonous for me at times.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that I have nothing to worry about or fear.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I tossed and turned,but the erection still continues to throb.I sat up and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,I headed for there and the erection started to soften.After finishing in the bathroom,my genitals were now fully soft and I went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while doing that.When these temptations came around,I prayed real hard for God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that came at me from all sides.I prayed hard and kept praying until the temptations were reduced to nil and I would move on with the rest of the day.It is really difficult struggling with this terrible SSA.I am always in a daily battle with these unnatural sexual desires that I have and it is always a difficult battle that is fought.I get tempted to act out all the time and whenever these temptations seemingly get way too overwhelming,I go to God in prayer and ask him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I am also learning on my own that the urges get stronger the more that they are resisted.It shoes that Satan is working hard to get me to go against God's perfect law in regards to sexuality and that can be really difficult to resist.I am also learning that it is much easier to give into any type of temptation as opposed to resisting the temptations.But again,I kept up in prayer to God all day and I didn't cease.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that type of temptation.Why?It is because that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will never give me what I truly want and need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go along with that affirmation.It will also make me feeling even more empty and yearning for more as the fulfillment is only temporary.But aside from that type of temptation,I am still getting tempted to act out by lusting,fantasies and by manipulating my genitals to get them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though orgasm does happen when I do that.I had to continue in my fight and keep asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.While I am still keeping up in prayer,I am still continuing to ask that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,to please not be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog does get visitors,but I rarely get any comments and/or encouraging words in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.Please don't be shy when visiting and reading my blog and please leave an encouraging word or two for me and also,please continue in prayer for me as I am in so desperate need of prayer.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple more things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight and stayed home for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.After hanging up my dress clothes,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and listened to a little bit of music.I also managed to watch a couple of DVD's as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes alongside it.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is always an up and down thing for me and that can be tiresome as well as monotonous for me at times.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that I have nothing to worry about or fear.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I tossed and turned,but the erection still continues to throb.I sat up and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,I headed for there and the erection started to soften.After finishing in the bathroom,my genitals were now fully soft and I went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while doing that.When these temptations came around,I prayed real hard for God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that came at me from all sides.I prayed hard and kept praying until the temptations were reduced to nil and I would move on with the rest of the day.It is really difficult struggling with this terrible SSA.I am always in a daily battle with these unnatural sexual desires that I have and it is always a difficult battle that is fought.I get tempted to act out all the time and whenever these temptations seemingly get way too overwhelming,I go to God in prayer and ask him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I am also learning on my own that the urges get stronger the more that they are resisted.It shoes that Satan is working hard to get me to go against God's perfect law in regards to sexuality and that can be really difficult to resist.I am also learning that it is much easier to give into any type of temptation as opposed to resisting the temptations.But again,I kept up in prayer to God all day and I didn't cease.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that type of temptation.Why?It is because that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will never give me what I truly want and need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go along with that affirmation.It will also make me feeling even more empty and yearning for more as the fulfillment is only temporary.But aside from that type of temptation,I am still getting tempted to act out by lusting,fantasies and by manipulating my genitals to get them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though orgasm does happen when I do that.I had to continue in my fight and keep asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.While I am still keeping up in prayer,I am still continuing to ask that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,to please not be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog does get visitors,but I rarely get any comments and/or encouraging words in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.Please don't be shy when visiting and reading my blog and please leave an encouraging word or two for me and also,please continue in prayer for me as I am in so desperate need of prayer.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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