Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I got out of bed in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I had a light lunch when I was done with that.After lunch,I finished my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
After bring the recycling bin from the curb,I decided to head to a local Dollar tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed by listening to an online sermon and after that was finished,I decided to get ready for the church dinner tonight.When the time came for me to go,I headed there.
The dinner was as wonderful as last week's initial dinner.We also watched another portion of the educational video regarding the impact that the Jewish Passover has had on both the world and most importantly,the Christian Church.After the dinner was over and also,after talking with the pastor over something,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my pajamas and relaxed.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It can be very tiresome and monotonous going through this emotional roller coaster ride daily,or by the minute/moment at times within the same day.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell this morning while still in bed trying to wake up and get up by manipulating my genitals to some fantasies and lusting after other men and I wound up ejaculating as a result of indulging in this unclean practice.I got up to wash my hands and after I was done doing that,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and I also begged for God to have mercy on me as lately,my mind is being clouded by sexual images of other men.No,it isn't men that I know personally,but images of men that I have seen nude in magazines and/or online.While I haven't looked at any pics of nude men,or anything pornographic in the "Gay" sense in a long time,these images are simply ones that I have looked at in the past and at times,they come back to cloud my mind.I also know that Satan and his minions are responsible for this as well.I really need to start working really hard at asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist acting out to these images.It seems that they don't want to leave me alone.I now know that this is when I really need God's help in this.I really need to buckle down and tell these images,in a psychological way,to go away and also,I really need to get up out of bed when I sense some awakened time in the early morning hours,because that is when these things start to strike,in the wee early morning hours.I also need to lean some self control.Still,throughout the day,I did ask God in his son Christ Jesus' name to help keep me strong in this fight and to get me through every temptation that came at me throughout the day.I did this to show God and his son Christ Jesus that I really mean it that I want to seriously heal from these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I also want to show God and Christ that I am also really sorry when I fall short.I also again ask that all of you continue in prayer for me and also,don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section,as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and also,make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors and onlookers,but they rarely leave an encouraging comment in the comments section,which I would really appreciate.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and also,lunch at a local kitchen after that.I also have an appointment to meet with my case worker after lunch.As for the rest of the day,I just might stay home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ