Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I quickly ate my usual quick breakfast and had a couple cups of cold coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed over to my monthly Men's Network meeting.
The meeting was wonderful.We watched another spiritual DVD and after the meeting was over,I headed over to a nearby post office to mail out an important bill payment.After that,I headed over to the local Sears when I got back into my hometown.After that was done,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some more money to pay a bill later on.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and I also registered the bills that I withdrew at the Where's George site.After that was done,I proceeded to do more of what I had to do.
I first paid the bill that I needed to pay locally at a local supermarket and after that,I went to a car dealership to see what prize that I won as a part of a promotional giveaway that they were doing.The prize was only a gift card for a local store and after that,I headed over to the local Big Lots to look around and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I forgot yesterday.After that,I went to another local supermarket to pick up one more thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I relaxed and watched a couple of DVD's.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a day to day basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster,which never gets any easier.The struggle at times seems to get worse instead of better.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to God,talk about by putting it in his hands and ask him to help me get me through this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone here when it comes to this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better,though my emotions can be topsy-turvy.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection and like yesterday,it didn't last very long.I sat up and I proceeded to get out of bed and while doing that,my genitals started getting soft.When I got up and started to walk a little,my genitals continued getting soft and when the erection had fully died down,I got back into bed and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did get tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men.When these cravings and urges happened,I threw them all on God and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I was finished praying,I felt much stronger and knew that both God and Christ heard me and gave me what I asked for.I just kept throwing every temptation on God and Christ and I got a feeling of being stronger each time.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am still going through this very difficult emotional time.I am also again asking that all of you follow my blog and read the posts to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with the exception of going to church,I have really nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, May 04, 2013
Friday, May 03, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After meeting with my caseworker in the early afternoon,I headed out to do some much needed important stuff that I needed to do.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed over to a hair place to get my hair done.After that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to get some much needed grocery shopping done.After that,I headed over to yet another local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I registered all the bills that I withdrew at the Where's George website.I then relaxed and watched some TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get out of bed and the erection started to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did get some minor temptations throughout the day,but was out and about much today.I stayed out for a while just getting things that needed to get done accomplished and hardly any sexual and/or impure thoughts of men didn't enter my mind.I kept busy throughout the day and though it still wasn't easy dealing and struggling with these temptations,though minor,I still had hardly any troubles.But just because I escaped today,I still have the next day because anything can happen tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am again asking that all of you keep me in your prayers and to also please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires and feelings that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of my usual monthly Men's Network group and church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After meeting with my caseworker in the early afternoon,I headed out to do some much needed important stuff that I needed to do.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed over to a hair place to get my hair done.After that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to get some much needed grocery shopping done.After that,I headed over to yet another local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I registered all the bills that I withdrew at the Where's George website.I then relaxed and watched some TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get out of bed and the erection started to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did get some minor temptations throughout the day,but was out and about much today.I stayed out for a while just getting things that needed to get done accomplished and hardly any sexual and/or impure thoughts of men didn't enter my mind.I kept busy throughout the day and though it still wasn't easy dealing and struggling with these temptations,though minor,I still had hardly any troubles.But just because I escaped today,I still have the next day because anything can happen tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am again asking that all of you keep me in your prayers and to also please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires and feelings that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of my usual monthly Men's Network group and church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, May 02, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual spirituality group,but today,the usual group leader was on vacation,so the substitute leader and the group went for a short walk for much of the time and after we were finished,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I dropped someone I knew off somewhere and then I headed for my mechanic's garage to check up on a coolant leak problem that I had.
The repair on the leak took only 20 minutes to fix.It was simply a shoddy return hose that had a hole in it.After the repairs were done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a short time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished the rest of my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed a little more.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I have to struggle and endure with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable and/or difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I feel that this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that they are there to help keep me calm,serene and also,to make me feel just a tad more at ease.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning while still in bed by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and it lead up to ejaculation.I really felt miserable after falling short early this morning and after washing my hands when I got up out of bed,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall.I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my sins were not only forgiven,but forgotten.Throughout the day,I was still being tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while doing so.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of the temptations to act out in these ways came at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer as I didn't want to fall again like i did twice this week.I had to keep up in prayer all day to ask for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me.I always felt better and much stronger as I did that and I also felt that a big weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that you express some encouraging words in the comments section on my blog.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I only ask these thing because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual spirituality group,but today,the usual group leader was on vacation,so the substitute leader and the group went for a short walk for much of the time and after we were finished,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I dropped someone I knew off somewhere and then I headed for my mechanic's garage to check up on a coolant leak problem that I had.
The repair on the leak took only 20 minutes to fix.It was simply a shoddy return hose that had a hole in it.After the repairs were done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a short time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished the rest of my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed a little more.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I have to struggle and endure with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable and/or difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I feel that this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that they are there to help keep me calm,serene and also,to make me feel just a tad more at ease.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning while still in bed by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and it lead up to ejaculation.I really felt miserable after falling short early this morning and after washing my hands when I got up out of bed,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall.I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my sins were not only forgiven,but forgotten.Throughout the day,I was still being tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while doing so.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of the temptations to act out in these ways came at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer as I didn't want to fall again like i did twice this week.I had to keep up in prayer all day to ask for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me.I always felt better and much stronger as I did that and I also felt that a big weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that you express some encouraging words in the comments section on my blog.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I only ask these thing because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I made a few important phone calls and after that was done,I did my personal PC work.I also got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I first stopped over at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to check up on a friend to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets easier.On certain days.I am up and feeling pretty good,while on other days,I am down and feeling not so good.Sometimes,it happens minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.The emotional roller coaster ride associated with BPD can be pretty monotonous and tiresome and at times,I wish that I didn't have to go through nor endure any of it.The worst part of my struggle is that at the same time,I also have schizophrenic tendencies.The hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia that I also struggle with makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I have to also put up with hearing things,such as voices calling out to me or negatively shouting at me and other sounds,such as hearing footsteps while I am walking and constantly turning around seeing nobody there.I never know how it will be day after day.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better and a little more at ease.Though I still struggle,God and Christ are both there taking the lead and that is a little reassuring.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get out of bed and the erection slowly started softening.It was fully soft within a few minutes and when that happened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation when I manipulated my genitals while looking at various sexual images online.I immediately stopped myself and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for looking at the images and also,for manipulating my genitals to these images.I felt better after that as I truly believed that God did indeed forgive me for sinning against him.I was again tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside that.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist all of these urges and after praying,I felt stronger as I truly believed that God gave me the strength.I also had faith that he heard me and that is what made me feel stronger.Though I am doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with the terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I made a few important phone calls and after that was done,I did my personal PC work.I also got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I first stopped over at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to check up on a friend to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets easier.On certain days.I am up and feeling pretty good,while on other days,I am down and feeling not so good.Sometimes,it happens minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.The emotional roller coaster ride associated with BPD can be pretty monotonous and tiresome and at times,I wish that I didn't have to go through nor endure any of it.The worst part of my struggle is that at the same time,I also have schizophrenic tendencies.The hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia that I also struggle with makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I have to also put up with hearing things,such as voices calling out to me or negatively shouting at me and other sounds,such as hearing footsteps while I am walking and constantly turning around seeing nobody there.I never know how it will be day after day.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better and a little more at ease.Though I still struggle,God and Christ are both there taking the lead and that is a little reassuring.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get out of bed and the erection slowly started softening.It was fully soft within a few minutes and when that happened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation when I manipulated my genitals while looking at various sexual images online.I immediately stopped myself and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for looking at the images and also,for manipulating my genitals to these images.I felt better after that as I truly believed that God did indeed forgive me for sinning against him.I was again tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside that.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist all of these urges and after praying,I felt stronger as I truly believed that God gave me the strength.I also had faith that he heard me and that is what made me feel stronger.Though I am doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with the terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Today,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to the agency where my weekly spirituality group is held to discuss some matters with him,including updating my employment resume.We met for about 20 minutes and after we were finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local kitchen for lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and I talked with him for about half an hour.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and take it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and got out of bed to head for the bathroom,as I sensed that I had to go there.As I headed for there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I headed back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals while doing so,but I took it to God in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and I did feel much stronger as God and Christ both heard me and gave me the strength to fight and resist these temptations.The struggle with SSA gets tougher by the day and at times,the struggle can be very overwhelming.It is great that God and Christ are there to help give strength when asked to fight this terrible emotional condition.I still get tempted,at times,to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather then feed that particular temptation,as I know that acting out on these desires in any way,shape or form will never give me what I truly want and also,what I truly need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that goes with that gender identity affirmation.I have to continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am daily still trying to escape from and to continue to be free from.I am again asking that all of you continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to the agency where my weekly spirituality group is held to discuss some matters with him,including updating my employment resume.We met for about 20 minutes and after we were finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local kitchen for lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and I talked with him for about half an hour.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and take it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and got out of bed to head for the bathroom,as I sensed that I had to go there.As I headed for there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I headed back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals while doing so,but I took it to God in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and I did feel much stronger as God and Christ both heard me and gave me the strength to fight and resist these temptations.The struggle with SSA gets tougher by the day and at times,the struggle can be very overwhelming.It is great that God and Christ are there to help give strength when asked to fight this terrible emotional condition.I still get tempted,at times,to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather then feed that particular temptation,as I know that acting out on these desires in any way,shape or form will never give me what I truly want and also,what I truly need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that goes with that gender identity affirmation.I have to continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am daily still trying to escape from and to continue to be free from.I am again asking that all of you continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, April 29, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is good to know that I am not alone in this particular struggle and it does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating to sexual images of men that clouded my mind.Yes,there was lusting and fantasy involved as well.I really felt miserable and sad after falling this morning and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.I am learning that day after day,the struggle with SSA never gets any easier.It gets tougher and tougher by the day.At times,I get so overwhelmed by these sexual images of men that it makes me feel that I am under way too much emotional stress.I don't know what keeps bringing up these things to my mind constantly,but I am sick and tired of them creeping into my mind so much.I really need to work on staying strong and really work on resisting all sorts of temptations that keep coming at me from all sides.I understand that being tempted in itself isn't sinful,but giving into any sort of temptation is sinful.I understand that our Heavenly Father only expects is to do the best that we can and I want to do that.I also want to do the right thing in God's eyes,but my sinful nature wants me to do the opposite.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this terrible and stressful emotional time.I also ask that you please leave a positive word of encouragement or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have to see someone at the agency where the spirituality group is held to make some changes to my employment resume and to e-mail it as a file to a job developer.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I wok up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is good to know that I am not alone in this particular struggle and it does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating to sexual images of men that clouded my mind.Yes,there was lusting and fantasy involved as well.I really felt miserable and sad after falling this morning and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.I am learning that day after day,the struggle with SSA never gets any easier.It gets tougher and tougher by the day.At times,I get so overwhelmed by these sexual images of men that it makes me feel that I am under way too much emotional stress.I don't know what keeps bringing up these things to my mind constantly,but I am sick and tired of them creeping into my mind so much.I really need to work on staying strong and really work on resisting all sorts of temptations that keep coming at me from all sides.I understand that being tempted in itself isn't sinful,but giving into any sort of temptation is sinful.I understand that our Heavenly Father only expects is to do the best that we can and I want to do that.I also want to do the right thing in God's eyes,but my sinful nature wants me to do the opposite.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this terrible and stressful emotional time.I also ask that you please leave a positive word of encouragement or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have to see someone at the agency where the spirituality group is held to make some changes to my employment resume and to e-mail it as a file to a job developer.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.I also did a Holy Bible reading in front of the congregation today.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After the service was over,we commenced to the church's fellowship hall for a charity luncheon that was held to raise funds for someone in the congregation that was sick and needed money for treatments.
The charity luncheon was wonderful as well and after eating and some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a prescription.After paying my co-pay for it,I left and as I was leaving,I ran into an old schoolmate of mine and we talked for a few minutes.After she went into the store,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult or unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This just shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and proceeded to attempt to get out of bed and that is what made the erection soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to sleep.For at least today,I really wasn't tempted very much to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and I really wasn't tempted to manipulate my genitals to those images of men.I guess what contributed to that was that I kept busy with the fellowship with my fellow worshipers in fellowship at church and also,at the charity luncheon.The thoughts of sex with other men never entered my mind today and for today,I felt relieved that I didn't have to go through any of it.Though I did escape today,I have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and so is the day after that and so on.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging comment or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to also continue healing from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.I also did a Holy Bible reading in front of the congregation today.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After the service was over,we commenced to the church's fellowship hall for a charity luncheon that was held to raise funds for someone in the congregation that was sick and needed money for treatments.
The charity luncheon was wonderful as well and after eating and some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a prescription.After paying my co-pay for it,I left and as I was leaving,I ran into an old schoolmate of mine and we talked for a few minutes.After she went into the store,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult or unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This just shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and proceeded to attempt to get out of bed and that is what made the erection soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to sleep.For at least today,I really wasn't tempted very much to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and I really wasn't tempted to manipulate my genitals to those images of men.I guess what contributed to that was that I kept busy with the fellowship with my fellow worshipers in fellowship at church and also,at the charity luncheon.The thoughts of sex with other men never entered my mind today and for today,I felt relieved that I didn't have to go through any of it.Though I did escape today,I have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and so is the day after that and so on.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging comment or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to also continue healing from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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