Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual spirituality group,but today,the usual group leader was on vacation,so the substitute leader and the group went for a short walk for much of the time and after we were finished,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I dropped someone I knew off somewhere and then I headed for my mechanic's garage to check up on a coolant leak problem that I had.
The repair on the leak took only 20 minutes to fix.It was simply a shoddy return hose that had a hole in it.After the repairs were done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a short time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished the rest of my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed a little more.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I have to struggle and endure with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable and/or difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I feel that this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that they are there to help keep me calm,serene and also,to make me feel just a tad more at ease.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning while still in bed by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and it lead up to ejaculation.I really felt miserable after falling short early this morning and after washing my hands when I got up out of bed,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall.I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my sins were not only forgiven,but forgotten.Throughout the day,I was still being tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while doing so.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of the temptations to act out in these ways came at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer as I didn't want to fall again like i did twice this week.I had to keep up in prayer all day to ask for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me.I always felt better and much stronger as I did that and I also felt that a big weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that you express some encouraging words in the comments section on my blog.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I only ask these thing because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ