Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I quickly ate my usual quick breakfast and had a couple cups of cold coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed over to my monthly Men's Network meeting.
The meeting was wonderful.We watched another spiritual DVD and after the meeting was over,I headed over to a nearby post office to mail out an important bill payment.After that,I headed over to the local Sears when I got back into my hometown.After that was done,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some more money to pay a bill later on.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and I also registered the bills that I withdrew at the Where's George site.After that was done,I proceeded to do more of what I had to do.
I first paid the bill that I needed to pay locally at a local supermarket and after that,I went to a car dealership to see what prize that I won as a part of a promotional giveaway that they were doing.The prize was only a gift card for a local store and after that,I headed over to the local Big Lots to look around and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I forgot yesterday.After that,I went to another local supermarket to pick up one more thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I relaxed and watched a couple of DVD's.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a day to day basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster,which never gets any easier.The struggle at times seems to get worse instead of better.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to God,talk about by putting it in his hands and ask him to help me get me through this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone here when it comes to this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better,though my emotions can be topsy-turvy.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection and like yesterday,it didn't last very long.I sat up and I proceeded to get out of bed and while doing that,my genitals started getting soft.When I got up and started to walk a little,my genitals continued getting soft and when the erection had fully died down,I got back into bed and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did get tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men.When these cravings and urges happened,I threw them all on God and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I was finished praying,I felt much stronger and knew that both God and Christ heard me and gave me what I asked for.I just kept throwing every temptation on God and Christ and I got a feeling of being stronger each time.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am still going through this very difficult emotional time.I am also again asking that all of you follow my blog and read the posts to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with the exception of going to church,I have really nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ