Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did most of my personal work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
The first thing on my agenda was having lunch with my niece and my sister over at my niece's house.It was to commemorate my mom's birthday.It she would have lived to this day,she would have been 83 years old.But now that she is no longer with us,we had a lunch in her memory.After hanging out at my niece's house for a spell,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work and got ready to go to a charity spaghetti dinner at a church within another area of the county where I live.On the way there,I dropped off some money at a friend's place as I owed it to him.After that,I headed for the dinner.
The dinner was terrific.I had two big heaping platefuls.After finishing my meal,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is always a very difficult struggle as I am enduring it day after day,week after week and month after month.It never gets any easier.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and it makes me feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was really overwhelming.I sat up for a while and since I had to get up and use the bathroom,I went to the bathroom to use it and after finishing,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I continued to face temptation throughout the day and each and every time that I was being tempted,I threw the temptation on God and asked him for the strength to fight and resist the temptation in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil.I still got tempted again as the day went on,but I kept up in prayer to God and continued to pray for strength to fight and resist the temptation that came around.I always feel better once I have prayed for strength to fight and resist the unnatural desires that I have and I always feel better as a result of doing so.Though I am still doing this,I am also asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and even by those who stop by to check it out.I am asking for any encouraging words in the comments section as they help in keeping me going as well.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me and also,keep up praying for me as well.It is just that I know that people do visit and check my blog out,but they don't leave anything encouraging or supportive.Please do so as your positive words of encouragement do help in keeping me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do as well.
Tomorrow,I have church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Friday, November 09, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much planned for today.The only thing that I really did was pay a visit to a friend who I hadn't spoken with in quite a while and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing with the everyday struggles of having BPD,it's symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My complex emotional pattern really differs from day to day,or at times,from minute to minute.I never know how my mood or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier at all.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle or endure.The struggle of having BPD combined with Schizophrenia is always a difficult one and I never know how my moods or emotions will be.Whenever I feel that the struggle is trying to get the better of me,I simply turn to God in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help to sustain me.It shows that I am not in this struggle alone and that does make feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned,but the erection wouldn't soften.I sat up for a while and while sitting up,the erection softened and after that,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by grabbing my genitals and manipulated them for the purpose of getting then erect/near erect or leading myself to orgasm and stopping.When that happened,I stopped and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that and all day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day as I was facing temptations head on and constantly asking God to help get me through the temptation and asked for strength to fight and resist these temptations to act out on the unnatural desires that I have in ways other than seeking out other men for the purpose of acting out sexually with them.I do get that latter aforementioned temptation,but when that happens,I simply choose to stay home and pray to God rather than go out to give into that temptation.All day,I kept up in prayer to God whenever these various temptations came around.I kept it up and kept asking for strength to fight and resist the temptations.It makes me feel better knowing that God is there and with the help of his son Jesus Christ,I can get the strength to resist any powerful temptation.It is wonderful that I am not alone in my struggle with SSA and that gives me a good feeling.I am also still asking that everyone who follows my blog to continue praying for me and also,to please leave and encouraging word or two on my blog comments section as both prayers and encouraging comments help keep me going in my battles with the unnatural desires connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for prayers and Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I am hoping to attend a charity spaghetti dinner at a church within another area of the county where I live.I have no other plans made,but I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much planned for today.The only thing that I really did was pay a visit to a friend who I hadn't spoken with in quite a while and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing with the everyday struggles of having BPD,it's symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My complex emotional pattern really differs from day to day,or at times,from minute to minute.I never know how my mood or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier at all.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle or endure.The struggle of having BPD combined with Schizophrenia is always a difficult one and I never know how my moods or emotions will be.Whenever I feel that the struggle is trying to get the better of me,I simply turn to God in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help to sustain me.It shows that I am not in this struggle alone and that does make feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned,but the erection wouldn't soften.I sat up for a while and while sitting up,the erection softened and after that,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by grabbing my genitals and manipulated them for the purpose of getting then erect/near erect or leading myself to orgasm and stopping.When that happened,I stopped and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that and all day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day as I was facing temptations head on and constantly asking God to help get me through the temptation and asked for strength to fight and resist these temptations to act out on the unnatural desires that I have in ways other than seeking out other men for the purpose of acting out sexually with them.I do get that latter aforementioned temptation,but when that happens,I simply choose to stay home and pray to God rather than go out to give into that temptation.All day,I kept up in prayer to God whenever these various temptations came around.I kept it up and kept asking for strength to fight and resist the temptations.It makes me feel better knowing that God is there and with the help of his son Jesus Christ,I can get the strength to resist any powerful temptation.It is wonderful that I am not alone in my struggle with SSA and that gives me a good feeling.I am also still asking that everyone who follows my blog to continue praying for me and also,to please leave and encouraging word or two on my blog comments section as both prayers and encouraging comments help keep me going in my battles with the unnatural desires connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for prayers and Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I am hoping to attend a charity spaghetti dinner at a church within another area of the county where I live.I have no other plans made,but I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, November 08, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday Spirituality group meeting and it went as well as expected.After that,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple more things and after that,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple more things.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still on that daily struggle of BPD,it's symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I have a very complicated emotional and mood pattern where I never know how my moods or emotions will be.I never know if they will be up or down.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.Whenever this happens,I simply talk about my BPD struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better.They both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not in this struggle alone and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply tossed and turned repeatedly and then sat up and when I did,the erection softened and I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still being tempted throughout the day as temptations kept coming on strong.I kept going to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus in prayer and every time that I did,the temptations were reduced to nil.I also kept up doing other spiritual things by listening to gospel music and continuing to keep in mind what the Holy Bible says about the unnatural sexual activity between two members of the same gender.I also had to continually ask God in prayer to help me clear my mind of anything impure,unclean and sinful throughout the day as the unnatural desires that I have continued to plague me with repeated temptations throughout the day.The temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can really be difficult for me to resist.I simply keep up praying to God and after that,the temptations are reduced to nil.I am also still asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts that I write continue to pray for me and again,please leave some encouraging words for me.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight to resist all temptations connected to SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday Spirituality group meeting and it went as well as expected.After that,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple more things and after that,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple more things.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still on that daily struggle of BPD,it's symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I have a very complicated emotional and mood pattern where I never know how my moods or emotions will be.I never know if they will be up or down.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.Whenever this happens,I simply talk about my BPD struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better.They both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not in this struggle alone and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply tossed and turned repeatedly and then sat up and when I did,the erection softened and I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still being tempted throughout the day as temptations kept coming on strong.I kept going to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus in prayer and every time that I did,the temptations were reduced to nil.I also kept up doing other spiritual things by listening to gospel music and continuing to keep in mind what the Holy Bible says about the unnatural sexual activity between two members of the same gender.I also had to continually ask God in prayer to help me clear my mind of anything impure,unclean and sinful throughout the day as the unnatural desires that I have continued to plague me with repeated temptations throughout the day.The temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can really be difficult for me to resist.I simply keep up praying to God and after that,the temptations are reduced to nil.I am also still asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts that I write continue to pray for me and again,please leave some encouraging words for me.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight to resist all temptations connected to SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, November 07, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I took out a drive out to find a particular country road as I am heading for a charity spaghetti dinner at a church out there on Saturday.After finding the road and the church where the dinner will be held,I headed back home and when I came back into the city,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and to show him what I recently obtained.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I even managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and emotions change by the day or times,by the minute or moment.I never know how my moods and emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my recovery from BPD even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle that I have seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have to suffer alone and that is great.Both God and his son Christ Jesus help in sustaining me and keeping me on an even keel throughout this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This time,the urge to grab my genitals and masturbate them was really overwhelming.I simply sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened.When it did,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them nearly erect and/or fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.When I did that,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation and I did feel better.Though it has been over a month since my mom passed away,I am still going through a lot of painful,difficult and very complex emotional patterns as I am still continuing to work to adjust to the loss of my mom and being on my own.My moods and emotions have really been hit or miss and it has been making my struggles with SSA pretty rough.I am also getting the temptation to go out and seek other men for the purpose of acting out sexually with them,but as I stated in previous posts,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation.Throughout the day,I am throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and each and every time I do that,the temptation is reduced to nil and I feel better.If the temptations come back,I throw them on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ again and the same results come back as the temptations are reduced to nil.I am also still asking for prayers from those who have been following my blog and reading my blog posts.I am also asking for encouraging words of support to get me through this really difficult time.I will also continue in prayer myself.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend and I am also hoping to have lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I took out a drive out to find a particular country road as I am heading for a charity spaghetti dinner at a church out there on Saturday.After finding the road and the church where the dinner will be held,I headed back home and when I came back into the city,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and to show him what I recently obtained.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I even managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and emotions change by the day or times,by the minute or moment.I never know how my moods and emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my recovery from BPD even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle that I have seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have to suffer alone and that is great.Both God and his son Christ Jesus help in sustaining me and keeping me on an even keel throughout this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This time,the urge to grab my genitals and masturbate them was really overwhelming.I simply sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened.When it did,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them nearly erect and/or fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.When I did that,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation and I did feel better.Though it has been over a month since my mom passed away,I am still going through a lot of painful,difficult and very complex emotional patterns as I am still continuing to work to adjust to the loss of my mom and being on my own.My moods and emotions have really been hit or miss and it has been making my struggles with SSA pretty rough.I am also getting the temptation to go out and seek other men for the purpose of acting out sexually with them,but as I stated in previous posts,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation.Throughout the day,I am throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and each and every time I do that,the temptation is reduced to nil and I feel better.If the temptations come back,I throw them on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ again and the same results come back as the temptations are reduced to nil.I am also still asking for prayers from those who have been following my blog and reading my blog posts.I am also asking for encouraging words of support to get me through this really difficult time.I will also continue in prayer myself.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend and I am also hoping to have lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery,though still on the rocky side,continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things planned and I wanted to get them done.
I first went out to put a new job application in at the place where I went to vote.After that was done,I headed over to the post office to buy a money order and I went to pay the first installment of my car insurance today to get the policy started for this period.After paying the installment,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work and I had a light lunch before going out to shop and pick up a few things that I needed for the house.After that,I headed straight home and I stayed home for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and got ready for the coming of the lawyer who I am hoping will represent me in the process of getting the house that I live within in my name.My sister sat in the meeting and also talked with the lawyer and I will know in a few days if he will take the case.After he left,my sister left as well and I decided to get my meal cooking.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well and that was great.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride along with it.I never know how my moods or emotions will be.They can be up and I am feeling good one day or one minute and at times,down and I am feeling not so good the next day or minute.It is a very complicated emotional pattern that I have to go through constantly.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the complicated emotional pattern,I also have to put up with hearing sounds and voices that nobody other than me hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone my struggle and that is great.It is wonderful to know that God and his son Christ Jesus are there to help me along and that I don't have to struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out a deep sleep by another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while until the erection softened and after that,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting out of bed by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but I stopped and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that.Throughout the day,I was tempted to act out in a lot of ways and I kept throwing the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ by talking endlessly about them and every time that I did,I felt better.The temptations were reduced to nil each and every time that I talked to God about them.I also felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders each and every time I prayed to God and threw the temptations on him.It is great that God and his son Jesus Christ are there whenever I am being tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and that they are there to help me be rid of them.I am also still asking for prayers by those who follow my blog and read the posts.I am also asking for words of encouragement to help keep me going.Thanks in advance for the prayers and encouragement and Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide and for being there to get me through any temptations that come around.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things planned and I wanted to get them done.
I first went out to put a new job application in at the place where I went to vote.After that was done,I headed over to the post office to buy a money order and I went to pay the first installment of my car insurance today to get the policy started for this period.After paying the installment,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work and I had a light lunch before going out to shop and pick up a few things that I needed for the house.After that,I headed straight home and I stayed home for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and got ready for the coming of the lawyer who I am hoping will represent me in the process of getting the house that I live within in my name.My sister sat in the meeting and also talked with the lawyer and I will know in a few days if he will take the case.After he left,my sister left as well and I decided to get my meal cooking.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well and that was great.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride along with it.I never know how my moods or emotions will be.They can be up and I am feeling good one day or one minute and at times,down and I am feeling not so good the next day or minute.It is a very complicated emotional pattern that I have to go through constantly.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the complicated emotional pattern,I also have to put up with hearing sounds and voices that nobody other than me hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone my struggle and that is great.It is wonderful to know that God and his son Christ Jesus are there to help me along and that I don't have to struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out a deep sleep by another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while until the erection softened and after that,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting out of bed by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but I stopped and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that.Throughout the day,I was tempted to act out in a lot of ways and I kept throwing the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ by talking endlessly about them and every time that I did,I felt better.The temptations were reduced to nil each and every time that I talked to God about them.I also felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders each and every time I prayed to God and threw the temptations on him.It is great that God and his son Jesus Christ are there whenever I am being tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and that they are there to help me be rid of them.I am also still asking for prayers by those who follow my blog and read the posts.I am also asking for words of encouragement to help keep me going.Thanks in advance for the prayers and encouragement and Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide and for being there to get me through any temptations that come around.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, November 05, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is ongoing.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to see the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital and after the session,which went pretty good,I headed over to a copy store to make a copy of my resume so I can fill out another job application tomorrow after voting.After that was done,I picked up something at a local Dollar General store and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my home suit on and I relaxed for a while and I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,is ongoing,I am still struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I have a very complicated emotional make-up where my emotions and moods vary by the day,or at times,by the minute.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.It also makes my struggles with SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seemingly gets too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.It also shows that I don't have to suffer alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all my strength to fight and resist the temptation to masturbate and I really tossed and turned and also sat up for a while until the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did later give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to get them erect or near orgasm,but I stopped and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that.All through the day,I continued in prayer to God to help keep me strong whenever the temptations kept coming back.I simply threw them on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resit these temptations as they came.I continued to pray continually and I never ceased until the temptations were reduced to nil.While that works for me,I am also still seeking prayers by everyone who follow and read my blog posts and words of encouragement in the comments section as they do help in keeping me going.Again,I ask that all of you please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a complex emotional time as a result of my mother dying over a month ago.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance to all of you for all your prayers and support.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,my sister and I will be meeting with a lawyer to discuss some legal matters concerning the house and other things.I am also thinking of going out to pay some more bills as well.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to see the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital and after the session,which went pretty good,I headed over to a copy store to make a copy of my resume so I can fill out another job application tomorrow after voting.After that was done,I picked up something at a local Dollar General store and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my home suit on and I relaxed for a while and I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,is ongoing,I am still struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I have a very complicated emotional make-up where my emotions and moods vary by the day,or at times,by the minute.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.It also makes my struggles with SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seemingly gets too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.It also shows that I don't have to suffer alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all my strength to fight and resist the temptation to masturbate and I really tossed and turned and also sat up for a while until the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did later give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to get them erect or near orgasm,but I stopped and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that.All through the day,I continued in prayer to God to help keep me strong whenever the temptations kept coming back.I simply threw them on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resit these temptations as they came.I continued to pray continually and I never ceased until the temptations were reduced to nil.While that works for me,I am also still seeking prayers by everyone who follow and read my blog posts and words of encouragement in the comments section as they do help in keeping me going.Again,I ask that all of you please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a complex emotional time as a result of my mother dying over a month ago.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance to all of you for all your prayers and support.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,my sister and I will be meeting with a lawyer to discuss some legal matters concerning the house and other things.I am also thinking of going out to pay some more bills as well.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, November 04, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues unabated.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow church brothers and sisters,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I immediately changed into my home suit and hung my church suit in the closet.After that,I heated up a can of pasta for lunch and ate it.After lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and relaxed.
Before heating dinner up,I went out to buy something to have alongside my dinner.When I got home,I heated up what I wanted and ate.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church always makes the day eventful as I do worship at a very wonderful church where the people are very loving,accepting and friendly.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my road to recovery continues unabated,it is still a pretty rocky road that I am on.Then again,when you are a person who struggles with BPD,each and every day is always a struggle.I never know how my moods and/or my emotions will be.I can be up and feeling good one day or one minute and down and not so good the next day or minute.I am on a constant emotional roller coaster ride as a result of struggling with this disorder.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.I am not saying that human based therapy isn't good.The power that God and his son Jesus Christ gives goes beyond what any human therapy can do as they both are more powerful than any humans on Earth.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable after that happened and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sin and I felt better knowing that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I kept in prayer to God in the name of Jesus Christ because I was getting tempted throughout the day to act out by masturbating or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping,though at times,orgasm does happen during this particular unclean habit.Though it has been over a month since the death of my mother,I am still working on getting over her death and trying to continue to work through all the mixed,mostly negative,emotions that I am going through.I have been giving in pretty much,though it isn't as often as I have been giving in.My failures are not as chronic as they used to be,though I still feel miserable as a result whenever I do fail and ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me.Since relying on God and Christ more,I am not falling as much now and I guess that it is a good thing.I am going to continue relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I have any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.With their help,I can get through anything.I am also still asking for prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog and also,some encouraging words to help keep me going and continue to fight these unnatural desires that I have.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.I am also going to go to a copy store to make copies of my resume.Aside from these things,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow church brothers and sisters,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I immediately changed into my home suit and hung my church suit in the closet.After that,I heated up a can of pasta for lunch and ate it.After lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and relaxed.
Before heating dinner up,I went out to buy something to have alongside my dinner.When I got home,I heated up what I wanted and ate.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church always makes the day eventful as I do worship at a very wonderful church where the people are very loving,accepting and friendly.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my road to recovery continues unabated,it is still a pretty rocky road that I am on.Then again,when you are a person who struggles with BPD,each and every day is always a struggle.I never know how my moods and/or my emotions will be.I can be up and feeling good one day or one minute and down and not so good the next day or minute.I am on a constant emotional roller coaster ride as a result of struggling with this disorder.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.I am not saying that human based therapy isn't good.The power that God and his son Jesus Christ gives goes beyond what any human therapy can do as they both are more powerful than any humans on Earth.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable after that happened and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sin and I felt better knowing that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I kept in prayer to God in the name of Jesus Christ because I was getting tempted throughout the day to act out by masturbating or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping,though at times,orgasm does happen during this particular unclean habit.Though it has been over a month since the death of my mother,I am still working on getting over her death and trying to continue to work through all the mixed,mostly negative,emotions that I am going through.I have been giving in pretty much,though it isn't as often as I have been giving in.My failures are not as chronic as they used to be,though I still feel miserable as a result whenever I do fail and ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me.Since relying on God and Christ more,I am not falling as much now and I guess that it is a good thing.I am going to continue relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I have any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.With their help,I can get through anything.I am also still asking for prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog and also,some encouraging words to help keep me going and continue to fight these unnatural desires that I have.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.I am also going to go to a copy store to make copies of my resume.Aside from these things,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
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