Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much planned for today.The only thing that I really did was pay a visit to a friend who I hadn't spoken with in quite a while and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing with the everyday struggles of having BPD,it's symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My complex emotional pattern really differs from day to day,or at times,from minute to minute.I never know how my mood or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier at all.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle or endure.The struggle of having BPD combined with Schizophrenia is always a difficult one and I never know how my moods or emotions will be.Whenever I feel that the struggle is trying to get the better of me,I simply turn to God in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help to sustain me.It shows that I am not in this struggle alone and that does make feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned,but the erection wouldn't soften.I sat up for a while and while sitting up,the erection softened and after that,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by grabbing my genitals and manipulated them for the purpose of getting then erect/near erect or leading myself to orgasm and stopping.When that happened,I stopped and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that and all day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day as I was facing temptations head on and constantly asking God to help get me through the temptation and asked for strength to fight and resist these temptations to act out on the unnatural desires that I have in ways other than seeking out other men for the purpose of acting out sexually with them.I do get that latter aforementioned temptation,but when that happens,I simply choose to stay home and pray to God rather than go out to give into that temptation.All day,I kept up in prayer to God whenever these various temptations came around.I kept it up and kept asking for strength to fight and resist the temptations.It makes me feel better knowing that God is there and with the help of his son Jesus Christ,I can get the strength to resist any powerful temptation.It is wonderful that I am not alone in my struggle with SSA and that gives me a good feeling.I am also still asking that everyone who follows my blog to continue praying for me and also,to please leave and encouraging word or two on my blog comments section as both prayers and encouraging comments help keep me going in my battles with the unnatural desires connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for prayers and Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I am hoping to attend a charity spaghetti dinner at a church within another area of the county where I live.I have no other plans made,but I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ