Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I got up to wash my hair and get dressed.I had to head for work today to make up three hours I didn't work on Wednesday due to my seeing my therapist.
The short make-up went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some cleaning up around the yard of the house and packed everything in big garbage bags.When that was done,I went on an errand to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light evening meal and I did my personal PC work.I also watched a little TV.I later retired for the evening.A pretty fair day overall.
Please continue praying for me and please leave me some encouraging words and spiritual upbuilding in the section.My head is hurting me bad.I will hopefully share more tomorrow.Thanks again.FJ
Saturday, December 09, 2017
Friday, December 08, 2017
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I got up and washed up quickly.After a couple of coffee,I got dressed and headed for work.
The work day went a little bit better than yesterday.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did a little bit of cleaning in the house and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I simply relaxed for a while and had a light evening meal.I also did some more personal PC work.I later retired for the evening.A very good day overall.
I am still struggling terribly with fantasies and lusting.I don't know whether I'm coming or going.I am still seeking Christian counseling,but haven't found any yet.I will keep on searching for a Christian counselor until I find one.I still need to learn how to let got of past anger,rage and trauma issues.I could still use some helpful advice from all of you.
How did all of you learn to let go of past anger,rage and trauma issues?
Maybe what you all learned can work for me.Please share any helpful advice.Thanks.
Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section,which can be both encouraging words and spiritually upbuilding posts.Thanks.FJ
Today,I got up and washed up quickly.After a couple of coffee,I got dressed and headed for work.
The work day went a little bit better than yesterday.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did a little bit of cleaning in the house and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I simply relaxed for a while and had a light evening meal.I also did some more personal PC work.I later retired for the evening.A very good day overall.
I am still struggling terribly with fantasies and lusting.I don't know whether I'm coming or going.I am still seeking Christian counseling,but haven't found any yet.I will keep on searching for a Christian counselor until I find one.I still need to learn how to let got of past anger,rage and trauma issues.I could still use some helpful advice from all of you.
How did all of you learn to let go of past anger,rage and trauma issues?
Maybe what you all learned can work for me.Please share any helpful advice.Thanks.
Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section,which can be both encouraging words and spiritually upbuilding posts.Thanks.FJ
Thursday, December 07, 2017
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I washed up quickly,got dressed and headed for work.
The work day was hectic.It went okay through the morning,but the afternoon was when the hectic stuff began.
I work as a janitor for a drug/alcohol rehab facility.The first thing to happen was a guy singing a song with the line "I need another cigarette"Later on,another guy,who was checking out and was waiting for a ride,accused me falsely of saying "Heroin" under my breath,which I didn't.I even told the guy he was mistaken,but he kept trying to argue with me that I said it,though I didn't.Fortunately,my fellow colleagues helped me out and told this particular guy to shut up.After some time,I managed to calm down and finish what I started around that time and did my last job of the day within the time frame.After it was over,I headed straight home and after a while,I changed clothing a little bit and I headed for a local church for a free dinner.After some shopping at 7-11,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I showered and did my personal PC work.I later retired for the evening.A pretty hectic day overall.
Tonight,my head is hurting me again.Please continue praying for me.Please continue to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need some encouragement and spiritual upbuilding and you can leave all of that in the comments section.
Tomorrow is a work day and I hope that it will be better than today.FJ
Today,I washed up quickly,got dressed and headed for work.
The work day was hectic.It went okay through the morning,but the afternoon was when the hectic stuff began.
I work as a janitor for a drug/alcohol rehab facility.The first thing to happen was a guy singing a song with the line "I need another cigarette"Later on,another guy,who was checking out and was waiting for a ride,accused me falsely of saying "Heroin" under my breath,which I didn't.I even told the guy he was mistaken,but he kept trying to argue with me that I said it,though I didn't.Fortunately,my fellow colleagues helped me out and told this particular guy to shut up.After some time,I managed to calm down and finish what I started around that time and did my last job of the day within the time frame.After it was over,I headed straight home and after a while,I changed clothing a little bit and I headed for a local church for a free dinner.After some shopping at 7-11,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I showered and did my personal PC work.I later retired for the evening.A pretty hectic day overall.
Tonight,my head is hurting me again.Please continue praying for me.Please continue to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need some encouragement and spiritual upbuilding and you can leave all of that in the comments section.
Tomorrow is a work day and I hope that it will be better than today.FJ
Wednesday, December 06, 2017
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up and washed up real quick,had a couple cups of coffee and got dressed.I headed for work.
The half a day at work went well.I headed over to my therapist's office for a session.I had a lot to talk with her about what had been happening with me over the last month.
The meeting with my therapist went as well as expected.After it was over,I had lunch at a nearby restaurant.After that,I bought myself an egg nog milkshake at a nearby McDonald's.After that,I was hoping to go to the public library,but when the snow got too intense,I decided to head straight home instead.
When I got home,I did some dishes and also cleaned around the kitchen after doing so.I also did some vacuuming.After that,I had a light evening meal and I did my personal PC work.Later on,as it was getting late,I prepared to retire for the evening.A very good day overall.
I really need some helpful advice.I haven't begun to let go of the anger and rage that is burning within me.This anger and rage has been burning within me for a long time.As I shared in previous posts,it's the way that I've been feeling towards my father,my paternal grand-mother,those who sexually used and abused me for their pleasure,the lies and deceit that I suffered while part of a religious cult for only two brief years and those who bullied me and called me names.This anger and rage burns really terribly and I would love to simply let it go,but I don't know how.It's easier to hang on to these negative emotions and feelings,but it's so difficult to let them go.I want to,but don't know how to go about it.I was also the victim of trauma all through my life.The trauma was caused by my father and his legalistic ways and his physical and emotional abuse of me.The rape that I endured when I was 16 years of age by a man who lived in my neighborhood.It was also being used and abused by various guys for their own pleasure and the near death experience I had when I was chased into the path of two cars when I was 17 years of age and the painful healing process that went with it.I want to let go,heal and transcend,but simply don't know how.I have held on to these things for so long that it has gotten very difficult for me to let it all go.
At times,I also have very strange and bad dreams at times.I really can't go into detail as to what happens to them because many of them are way too terrible to talk about.Some of these dreams are also very strange.At times,I see wild animals in my dreams.I don't know why,but I do.In one dream I had,I walked and saw a baby elephant who actually talked to me.There are also others where I keep walking and walking,but get nowhere.I even had one weird dream where I was sitting in a chair and the phone rang.The voice-mail came on and it was the voice of my deceased next door neighbor.This dream actually woke me up out of a deep sleep.I've even had dreams where I hung myself in an abandoned location and nobody was there to see.These dreams have also woke me up out of a deep sleep.One night,I had a dream where I was swimming to try to get to shore,but the shore kept getting farther and farther away the closest I got to the shore.I can't even understand these dreams nor do I know why I have them.
My fellow readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both encouraging words and spiritual upbuilding.I need all the verbal support and spiritual upbuilding that I can get.Thanks to all of you for your support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a work day.I hope that the day goes well for me.FJ
Today,I woke up and washed up real quick,had a couple cups of coffee and got dressed.I headed for work.
The half a day at work went well.I headed over to my therapist's office for a session.I had a lot to talk with her about what had been happening with me over the last month.
The meeting with my therapist went as well as expected.After it was over,I had lunch at a nearby restaurant.After that,I bought myself an egg nog milkshake at a nearby McDonald's.After that,I was hoping to go to the public library,but when the snow got too intense,I decided to head straight home instead.
When I got home,I did some dishes and also cleaned around the kitchen after doing so.I also did some vacuuming.After that,I had a light evening meal and I did my personal PC work.Later on,as it was getting late,I prepared to retire for the evening.A very good day overall.
I really need some helpful advice.I haven't begun to let go of the anger and rage that is burning within me.This anger and rage has been burning within me for a long time.As I shared in previous posts,it's the way that I've been feeling towards my father,my paternal grand-mother,those who sexually used and abused me for their pleasure,the lies and deceit that I suffered while part of a religious cult for only two brief years and those who bullied me and called me names.This anger and rage burns really terribly and I would love to simply let it go,but I don't know how.It's easier to hang on to these negative emotions and feelings,but it's so difficult to let them go.I want to,but don't know how to go about it.I was also the victim of trauma all through my life.The trauma was caused by my father and his legalistic ways and his physical and emotional abuse of me.The rape that I endured when I was 16 years of age by a man who lived in my neighborhood.It was also being used and abused by various guys for their own pleasure and the near death experience I had when I was chased into the path of two cars when I was 17 years of age and the painful healing process that went with it.I want to let go,heal and transcend,but simply don't know how.I have held on to these things for so long that it has gotten very difficult for me to let it all go.
At times,I also have very strange and bad dreams at times.I really can't go into detail as to what happens to them because many of them are way too terrible to talk about.Some of these dreams are also very strange.At times,I see wild animals in my dreams.I don't know why,but I do.In one dream I had,I walked and saw a baby elephant who actually talked to me.There are also others where I keep walking and walking,but get nowhere.I even had one weird dream where I was sitting in a chair and the phone rang.The voice-mail came on and it was the voice of my deceased next door neighbor.This dream actually woke me up out of a deep sleep.I've even had dreams where I hung myself in an abandoned location and nobody was there to see.These dreams have also woke me up out of a deep sleep.One night,I had a dream where I was swimming to try to get to shore,but the shore kept getting farther and farther away the closest I got to the shore.I can't even understand these dreams nor do I know why I have them.
My fellow readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both encouraging words and spiritual upbuilding.I need all the verbal support and spiritual upbuilding that I can get.Thanks to all of you for your support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a work day.I hope that the day goes well for me.FJ
Tuesday, December 05, 2017
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I went to work and though the day was well,it was also a little hectic.I headed straight home after it was all over.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy.I also did my personal PC work.
After a while,I went back out to get a sandwich for dinner.After I got home,I ate it and did some more personal PC work.I later retired for the evening.A very good,but a little hectic,day overall.
Tonight,my head is hurting me and I am really tired.I can't really post anything in regards to my struggles as my head is hurting me terribly.Please keep me in your prayers and leave me some encouraging word in the comments section.Thanks to all of you and Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is work in the morning and my therapist in the early afternoon.I hope that both go well.FJ
Today,I went to work and though the day was well,it was also a little hectic.I headed straight home after it was all over.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy.I also did my personal PC work.
After a while,I went back out to get a sandwich for dinner.After I got home,I ate it and did some more personal PC work.I later retired for the evening.A very good,but a little hectic,day overall.
Tonight,my head is hurting me and I am really tired.I can't really post anything in regards to my struggles as my head is hurting me terribly.Please keep me in your prayers and leave me some encouraging word in the comments section.Thanks to all of you and Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is work in the morning and my therapist in the early afternoon.I hope that both go well.FJ
Monday, December 04, 2017
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today was a work day.It went well,though it was also hectic.I had to repeatedly tell the clientele at the place where i work the same old rules and such.They simply weren't listening too much.I was finally glad when it was all over when I punched out and headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I showered quickly and headed out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light evening meal and I did some more personal PC work.I also did a little vacuuming in the house.Later on,I prepared to retire for the evening.A very good,but also hectic,day overall.
Please pray that I make the move to seek Christian counseling.Please pray that I don't procrastinate.I need to seek it.I also really need it.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section,which can be both words of encouragement and spiritual upbuilding.Thanks for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a work day and I hope that it goes better than today.FJ
Today was a work day.It went well,though it was also hectic.I had to repeatedly tell the clientele at the place where i work the same old rules and such.They simply weren't listening too much.I was finally glad when it was all over when I punched out and headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I showered quickly and headed out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light evening meal and I did some more personal PC work.I also did a little vacuuming in the house.Later on,I prepared to retire for the evening.A very good,but also hectic,day overall.
Please pray that I make the move to seek Christian counseling.Please pray that I don't procrastinate.I need to seek it.I also really need it.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section,which can be both words of encouragement and spiritual upbuilding.Thanks for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a work day and I hope that it goes better than today.FJ
Sunday, December 03, 2017
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up and after cleaning up,I got dressed up real quick and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful,with the fellowship after the service being equally wonderful.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I did some vacuuming in the house and went back out to get a few slices of pizza for a late lunch.After that,I headed back home to pick up a bagful of empty plastic water bottles at a local supermarket.After that,I did some shopping and when I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I showered quickly.I also washed my face and shaved after that.I also prepared my evening meal and after I ate it,I did some more personal PC work.As the evening was winding down,I prepared to retire for the evening.A wonderful and eventful day overall.
Last night,I posted that I am seeking Christian therapy and maybe it would help me with my struggles and also,to get me on the right track to healing and to find affirming relationships with other men.As I said,I simply want to be one of the guys in a healthy and authentic social setting.I want nothing sexual as sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong and sinful.I know that there are those who will disagree with that,but that's their choice to do so.I am hoping that by tomorrow or during the week,I will be making that step to make that phone call to make an appointment with a Christian counselor,especially that particular pastor that I've been meaning to call.I am hoping that this gets me finally on the path that I really need to get on and finally attain the healing that I so need to set me back on track.Please pray for me that I will make that decision and that I finally get what I need to finally have real healing and real affirmations that I need so much to get me on the right path.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would still appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section and again,please make it in the form of encouraging words and spiritual upbuilding as I really need both of these things.Thanks to y'all for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is the start of the new work week and I hope that the first day goes well.FJ
Today,I woke up and after cleaning up,I got dressed up real quick and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful,with the fellowship after the service being equally wonderful.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I did some vacuuming in the house and went back out to get a few slices of pizza for a late lunch.After that,I headed back home to pick up a bagful of empty plastic water bottles at a local supermarket.After that,I did some shopping and when I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I showered quickly.I also washed my face and shaved after that.I also prepared my evening meal and after I ate it,I did some more personal PC work.As the evening was winding down,I prepared to retire for the evening.A wonderful and eventful day overall.
Last night,I posted that I am seeking Christian therapy and maybe it would help me with my struggles and also,to get me on the right track to healing and to find affirming relationships with other men.As I said,I simply want to be one of the guys in a healthy and authentic social setting.I want nothing sexual as sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong and sinful.I know that there are those who will disagree with that,but that's their choice to do so.I am hoping that by tomorrow or during the week,I will be making that step to make that phone call to make an appointment with a Christian counselor,especially that particular pastor that I've been meaning to call.I am hoping that this gets me finally on the path that I really need to get on and finally attain the healing that I so need to set me back on track.Please pray for me that I will make that decision and that I finally get what I need to finally have real healing and real affirmations that I need so much to get me on the right path.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would still appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section and again,please make it in the form of encouraging words and spiritual upbuilding as I really need both of these things.Thanks to y'all for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is the start of the new work week and I hope that the first day goes well.FJ
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