Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.

Today,I woke up in the mid morning and worked on my personal PC work.I had to stop it for a while to drop my grand-niece off at work.After that,I went straight home to finish it.

I then took a quick shower to clean up and I watched a few YouTube videos.After that,I went back out to do a few things I needed to do.

I turned in some bottles at a local bottle and can return center.I then headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy a few things that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I relaxed and watched a couple more YouTube videos.I then had a light evening meal and I did some more personal PC work.

I then headed out to a local 7-11 to buy a couple more things and headed straight home once I was done.

When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work and later prepared to retire for the evening.A pretty good day overall.

Two nights ago,I shared that I was trying to seek out healthy and affirming relationships with other men and how I was failing.Well,a close friend of mine and blog follower gave me some helpful advice that I truly appreciated.It was upbuilding in a friendly, loving and spiritual way.It was also loving advice that I also needed.It made me wake up that I need to work on my relationship with my Heavenly Father mostly than with other humans.While my therapy is doing well,I also need to seek out Christian therapy as this might help me get back on the right track and help me in my working on and with my relationship with my Heavenly Father.I have to start that right now and hopefully,I will feel better in the long run.

I've been wanting to seek Christian therapy and counseling for a long time,but keep procrastinating.I think that I'm scared to seek it or maybe I am not too sure about it.We just had a new pastor fill in the previous pastor's spot in my church and he seems nice.I've been meaning to ask him if he'd like to meet with me for something,but have been too fearful of it or not knowing how I should ask.I have also been meaning to call this other pastor that I know,but again,the same fears and uncertainty have been coming upon me and I procrastinate even further.I don't know how to go about this and I also don't know what to expect or anticipate.I don't know what could be wrong with me.I want to seek and pursue this,but my fears and uncertainty keep coming back.I am thinking of making this step maybe tomorrow or Monday.Please pray that I make this step and that I can get the right Christian therapy and counseling.Your prayers mean a lot to me and also,please continue to leave me some positive and encouraging words in the comments section,which includes more spiritually upbuilding comments.Thanks to y'all for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.

Tomorrow is church as usual.I hope to get a lot out of it and learn to live by the lessons learned.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.

Today,i went to work and after it was over,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I relaxed for a while and did a little bit of my personal PC work.

Later on,I went out to get a sandwich for dinner and a few other needed things.I headed for home and when I got there,I did some vacuuming in the house.

I ate my dinner and did some more personal PC work.I later retired for the evening.A very good day overall.

I will start posting more about my struggles tomorrow as I am feeling tired and my head is hurting.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me some encouraging and spiritually upbuilding words.Thanks to all of you.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.

The weekend is here and with the exception of church on Sunday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that I get positive benefits out of something I do.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.

Today,I went to work and it went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I did some checking up on my messages online and after that,I shaved quickly and headed out to a local church for a free dinner.After eating,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I relaxed and quickly did my personal PC work.I also showered quickly and prepared for my evening retirement.A very good day overall.

Lately,I haven't been posting very much in regards to my struggles.But I want to share another struggle that I have.It is in regards to my struggles with SSA,but only in another area.I am still trying to gain and find healthy and authentic relationships with fellow men.However,I have been striking out big time in my pursuit of these sorts of relationships.I have tried many means to try and gain these,but I'm failing.When I used to go out to hang out with some guys,I would give them my phone number and my home address for them to call me and arrange for get together's.But they never called me nor did they even offer anything in that regard.This has been frustrating me.I have been striking out in my pursuit of these sorts of healthy relationships where I can relate,identify and connect with other men.I simply want and need healthy and affirming relationships with other guys where the only real benefits are friendship,closeness,bonding and just being one of the guys.However,as I said,I've been striking out big time and it's not only frustrating me,but is also making me feel sad.It also makes me feel lonely.This is also making my SSA struggles worse.

I hate that I struggle with this terrible emotional condition.

I hate having these unnatural desires that go with this terrible struggle.

I also have a psychological sexual dysfunction problem as a result of this and also,all the sexual abuse that I suffered endured,alongside the religious/spiritual abuse that I suffered and endured at an early part of my life as a young man.I'm still feeling the effects of both of these abuses and I don't know if I will ever fully recover from it all.I have been in therapy all throughout my life as a result of all of this.I simply want to heal and recover from this terrible thing that I struggle with.The thing is that nobody wants to really help me.I feel all alone and it's making me feel really sad and depressed.I get hit with spells of the blues when least expected.I've been taking my medication and continuing my therapy,but these spells still hit.

I need more than just therapy and medication.I need to have healthy affirming relationships.I need to find myself in this terrible,cruel and mad world.I want to be accepted by other guys as I am,faults and all.I am hoping to find and have these types of relationships soon.If anyone can give me any good advice,please do so.Thanks.

Please continue to keep me in your prayers.Please continue to leave me some encouraging and spiritually upbuilding words in the comments section.Thanks to all of you.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.

Tomorrow is another work day and I hope that all goes well.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.

Today,I went to work and the work day went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I put some stuff in the garage and after that,I helped with a little cleaning in the house.After that,I went back out to the drug store to pick up my prescription and after that,I headed over to a local Dollar General store to pick up a few things.I headed straight home after that.

When I got home,I cleaned the bathroom and after that was done,I headed over to a local 7-11 to buy a sandwich.I headed straight home after that.

When I got home,I relaxed and ate my sandwich.I also did my personal PC work.After that,I planned for my evening retirement as the evening was winding down.A very good day overall.

Tonight,I am feeling a little tired.My psychiatric medication kicks in when least expected and right now,it is.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.Please continue to encourage me with encouraging words and spiritual upbuilding.Thanks to y'all and Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.

Today,I went to work and the work day went well.After it was over,I headed Straight home.

When I got home,I relaxed for a while and took it easy as I was beat.

I had a light evening meal and I did my personal PC work before preparing for my evening retirement as I was tired.A very good day overall.

Right now,my head is starting to hurt terribly and I can't think straight.I will start posting a little more tomorrow.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave some encouraging and spiritually upbuilding words in the comments section.Thanks to all of you and Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.

I went to work today and it went well.After that,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and did my personal PC work.

Later on,I had a light evening meal and did some more personal PC work.I also helped in putting up a Christmas tree in the house.A very good day overall.

I will start talking about my struggles again when I can.I am just too tired right now and I need my rest.Please continue praying for me and please continue leaving me some positive encouraging words and spiritual upbuilding in the comments section.Thanks.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.

Today,I woke up in the early morning and I cleaned up real quickly.After that,I got dressed up in a suit and I went to church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.

Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.

When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.I also went out and had lunch at a local pizzeria.I headed straight home after that.

When I got home,I relaxed for a while again and I did some more personal PC work.Later on,as it was getting late,I prepared to retire for the evening.A wonderful and eventful day overall.

Please continue praying for me.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I will start talking more about my struggles tomorrow.FJ